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Spike woke and stretched, hissing at the sudden pain of the barely healed burns on his arms. He was steeling himself to open his eyes, and cursing himself for being a cowardly prat, when he heard a noise. Then he tried to open them and found that they seemed to be gummed shut.

“Who’s there?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew. “Dawn?”

“Spike.”

“What’s wrong? Some nasties‘ve had another go?” He sounded so worried that Dawn rushed to put his mind at rest.

“No, no nothing like that. I, I wanted to see if you were okay.”

“There’s more to it than that, little Bit. Come on, spill.”

Even without being able to see her, he could still see straight through her, she marvelled.

“I, I’m *so* sorry that you got hurt.”

“We’ve sung this tune before Platelet; I’ll be okay, no worries.”

“But you’re *not* okay.” She said with a barely suppressed sob. “You can’t see and you got burned and…..”

“All right.” He said sharply. “Let’s play the blame game. I shouldn’t have let you persuade me to take you to the school. I should have fought better. I should have fought harder to protect you.”

“Okay, okay, I get I get it.” She said quickly and he could detect a smile in her voice. She paused for a long time and, just as he was thinking she wouldn’t say any more, she said seriously. “I haven’t told anyone this, but when Buffy was with mom at the hospital, I sneaked off and went to the psychiatric ward.”

He interrupted, “What the hell for?”

“We met a crazy guy in the corridor when mom was first ill and, when he looked at me, he said “there’s no-one there” and “I know what you are.” It really scared me. I had to know if he was the only one who could see what I really am and maybe that being crazy let him see. I need to know what being the Key means.”

Her voice was so filled with despair that the vampire reached out his arms to her. “Come ‘ere Nibblet.” And when she came to him, he hugged her close – the first time he’d initiated contact.

He could feel her trembling as she continued. “There were at least eight guys there, all strapped down. One of them called me “destroyer”, and another said that the Key is the link – the link must be severed.” She broke down then and sobbed into his chest. “What am I Spike? Am I a destroyer?”

She was astonished as he began to laugh. “Destroyer? No little Bit, you’re as honest, brave and bloody stubborn as big sis, and some day soon you’re gonna be as beautiful. I’m sure Buffy and the gang are working on a plan to keep you safe, even as we speak”

She pulled back and looked at him, this being that she had real trouble thinking of as a vampire. He was still chuckling and she felt as though a great weight had been lifted from her. He always seemed to understand her, had time for her and talked to her as if she were his equal.

“Now, if you could go get me a fresh shirt – this one seems to be covered in snot.” He smiled broadly at her.

“Eew! That’s gross!” She said with a giggle

“Yeah, it is, ‘specially from the inside.”

They both heard a noise at the top of the stairs as Buffy came slowly down.

“Not interrupting anything, am I?” She asked.

“Uh, no Buffy. I was just seeing how Spike was today.” Dawn said hastily. “I’m just going to get him something to eat.” She patted Spike’s arm and ran up the stairs.

“So, how much did you hear pet?” Spike asked.

“How’d you know I heard anything?” Buffy asked innocently.

“I might not be able to see luv, but there’s nothing wrong with my hearing.” He said dryly. “You were up there for some time before Dawn heard you. So what did you hear?”

“Enough.” She said tonelessly.

Spike flinched and tried to think what he’d said to put his little Bit at ease, that had pissed off the Slayer.

Buffy was saddened when she caught his reaction, as if he was expecting her to hit him. But, thinking back, other than trying to ignore him, it was her usual response.

“Why d’ya think I stayed up there?” She said lightly. “You seem to know just what to say to her – I just mess it up.”

His face went from apprehension to dawning hopefulness in the blink of an eye. Buffy smiled, she found that she liked being able to make him feel better. As she looked at him, she wondered at how much he had changed. Had he always been so tender and caring, but had just disguised it with the harsh demeanour of the “big bad”? Or was he now developing such feelings through his love for her? Woah! Love? She searched her mind and discovered that now she really believed he loved her – and as usual such feelings made her defensive.

“I’d better get back to the Scoobies.”

His disappointment was almost tangible. Tiredly rubbing at his eyes, he said, “Yeah, you toddle off now Slayer.”

She made up her mind. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Puzzled, he wondered what the hell she was up to now. Then he heard whispering and giggling as his two girls came back down the stairs together. Dawn put a mug of blood in his hand and said “drink it while it’s warm.” Apprehensively sipping at his food, he tried to sense what Buffy was up to. He didn’t have to wait long. When he’d finished, the mug was taken from his hand and he was pushed gently down on to the bed. His mind whirling, he gasped as his eyes were bathed gently. He let himself relax, humming with pleasure, as the warm water eased the pain and crustiness away.

“There, why don’t you try opening them now?” Buffy said softly.

He did as he was told and was rewarded by being able to see blurry shapes. He blinked trying to clear his vision, but he could only just distinguish light from dark – but at least it was an improvement from seeing nothing.

“Well?” Buffy asked breathlessly.

*She sounds like she really cares*. Spike blinked again, “No diff luv.” He said matter of factly. He wasn’t quite sure why he didn’t want them to know that there was an improvement, small as it was. What he could see was no bloody use to anyone anyway. It wouldn’t do to raise anyone’s hopes, least of all his own.

“Oh, well, it’s early days yet. Maybe tomorrow.” She sounded so disappointed that he nearly blurted out the truth. “Now, I’ve gotta get back to the Scoobies – they’re having a researcharama up there. Why don’t you come with, we could do with the help.”

Again, he felt a wash of pleasure at being included, but he also still felt exhausted from his recent experiences. “Ta, luv, but I think I’ll get some more shut eye. Maybe the sleeping will help with the healing.”

He heard them both retreat upstairs and the door shut.


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When Buffy came into the living room, all conversation stopped. “How is he?” Tara was the first to speak.

“No change.” Buffy sounded really upset and the group exchanged worried glances. Xander opened his mouth to say something, but hastily shut it again when everyone glared at him. He was still feeling a little ashamed of his outburst yesterday – even Anya had been impatient with his attitude.

“I’m afraid that we’ve not been very successful with our research either.” Giles said regretfully. “I’ve searched all my reference books, but have come up with nothing. It would help, of course, if we knew what this demon – or whatever it is – looked like.”

“If it was a big bad, why did it leave Dawn unharmed? All it did was to burn up the demons that were threatening her. Even Spike was only hurt because he was being held by Glory’s minions.”

There was a long silence as everyone stared at Anya. “Why didn’t I think of that?” Giles said in an undertone. He was staggered that none of them had come up with such an obvious theory – in fact the more he thought about it, the more obvious it became. “Maybe we have an ally instead of an enemy….”

“I like the sound of that!” Xander said eagerly “a big not-so-bad. We should team up – if we knew where, or what, it was…..” He tailed off.

Tara noticed that Dawn wasn’t in the room so, unobtrusively, she made her way to the kitchen and found the teen silently crying. She put her arms round Dawn’s shaking shoulders and said softly, “Oh sweetie, what’s wrong?”

“I really thought he’d be better today. It’s all my fault. Spike says it isn’t, but I know it is.” Dawn said, hiccupping. “He’s more hurt than he lets on and it’s all because of me.”

Tara guided Dawn to a chair and then sat down next to her. “D-did you do it deliberately?” She asked seriously.

“What? No!” Dawn was so indignant she forgot to cry. “I’d never want Spike hurt, like he’d never hurt me.”

“D-drama queen m-much?” Tara raised an eyebrow and Dawn slumped down dejectedly. “Give it t-time Dawnie, I’m sure he’ll be back to being the big bad, soon.”

Dawn smiled sheepishly, leaned forward and hugged her friend. “Thanks Tara. It’s just I’m so used to him being all strong and fighty, it’s hard seeing him so weak.”

“Don’t let him hear you s-say that!”

They grinned at one another, imagining his reaction. *Yes*, Dawn thought, *he’ll be back and those demons had better watch out!*


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A/N A non-action chapter – unusual for me, I hope it worked.





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