“What?” she asked, off his grin.
“You’re drunk.”
“I am not drunk.”
“Yeah, you really are.”
“No, I’m really not,” she mocked him and poured herself some more wine. “How many have you had?”
“This is my second and I’m not even through it yet. You’ve have two and you’re about to have your third.”
She gave him a haughty look and turned her head from him, sipping her wine. She turned back to him, placing her glass down and gestured toward the food with a wide smile. “This is really good, Spike.”
He had to chuckle, she was just so damn adorable. “Thanks, pet.”
“Spike?”
“Hmmm?”
“Do you call everyone that?”
“Call everyone what?”
“Pet, luv, kitten…do you call everyone that or just me?”
Oh, what a question.
“Well, it’s part of my vocab, but I try to watch it in professional situations.”
“So…this isn’t a professional situation?”
“Oh, it is,” he said on a sigh, “But you bring those endearments out in me.”
She smiled brightly. “Really?”
“Yes, kitten, really.”
“Did you call Anya all those?”
“How about we leave Anya out of this?”
“What about Dru?”
“Her too.”
“Okay.”
Her stream of consciousness was quite amusing, and considering she was well on her way to being completely shit-faced, he was sure he was in for an interesting evening.
He’s just so pretty, Buffy thought dreamily, staring at him from across the table. Even the way he chews is perfect…Look at him…munch, munch, munch…swallow…bite…munch, munch, munch, swallow….ooh! Sip of wine! And now he’s smiling at me…love that smile…directed at me.
“Buffy?”
“Hmmm?”
“Why don’t you eat some more, huh? How about the garlic bread we made. It’s really good.”
She smiled and nodded, “Okay.”
He had to bite back a laugh. Currently she had her elbow up on the table, her chin in the palm of her hand and she was blatantly staring at him with a dreamy smile on her face. Grabbing the garlic bread, he placed it in front of her and directed her to eat.
Slowly, she grabbed a slice and bit into it with vigor.
“Spike?”
“Yes, luv?”
“Have you had many women?”
That caught him off guard and he shifted slightly in his seat, clearing his throat. “Uh, well, define ‘many’.”
She wrinkled her adorable nose and waved her hand, dismissively. “Furrrget it. I don’t wanna know anymore.”
“Why? Jealous?” he told himself he asked that to tease her, he even said it in such a light-hearted manner that it could only be taken as a tease, but…yeah, he wasn’t playing fair. He was playing dirty for he really did want to know if she was in fact jealous.
Her honest, matter-of-fact “Yeah,” threw him for a loop. Her sudden retraction in not wanting to know told him as much, but hearing her admit it was a different story altogether.
He was finding the room small, which was laughable considering the Boston Pops could have fit in the room with room to spare, and he was suddenly warm. He gulped down some wine and studied her as she picked at her garlic bread and pasta.
“Spike?”
He grinned, “Yes?”
“Why do guys like virgins?”
He stared at her, “What?”
“Virgins. Why do guys like virgins?”
“You’re not a virgin.”
“Yeah, I know that,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “But I was. Parker was fascinated by it.”
“Parker,” Spike drawled, “Was a simpleton.”
“You shouldn’t speak ill of the dead.”
He shrugged, “It was true, wasn’t it?”
“He was…a man. Can you answer the question?”
“Well, to the best of my knowledge, being a man and all,” he paused while she giggled, “A man is ‘fascinated’ by a woman being virgin because it’s the whole thrill of being the first one in unchartered territory. It’s kind of like Columbus discovering America. He got there first and he was well remembered for it. Plus…a virgin is incredibly tight.”
“Spike!” she admonished.
“You asked,” he pointed out.
“Okay. So…then…if guys like virgins so much, why do they like sluts too?”
Spike heaved a deep sigh. He was partly turned on by the conversation, and partly feeling they were heading into some touchy areas concerning her, Gwen and Parker. She could take this in one of two ways: With a grain of salt, her stream of consciousness bringing her someplace else in a minute, or it could make her incredibly sad and angry.
“Well,” he said carefully, “It’s not that we like ‘sluts’. They’re not the ones we ultimately want to be with.”
“Then why bother?”
“Because unlike a virgin, sluts have experience and will pretty much do anything sexual, and to a man who loves sex, that is exciting. Plus, a guy doesn’t have to work so hard to get a slut in bed because, well, she’s a slut. A virgin though, you have to work a little harder to get in bed. Virgins are also intimidating to a man because they’re so pure and innocent, and while we still want to be the ones to take them out of that, we also feel as if we’re doing an injustice because of how pure and innocent they are.”
She looked at him sadly. “So am I tainted because I’m no longer a virgin?”
He shook his head, “No, baby, no, not at all.” I’m just sorry it had to be Parker that was your first.
“I’m not?” she asked, her bottom lip quivering slightly.
“Not at all. You know what I think?”
“What?”
“The reason Parker had to settle for Gwen – and that’s what he did, he settled – was because you were too good for him. You’re perfect and she was just a…well, slut.”
Her eyes welled up in tears, despite the fact that that was what he had been trying so hard to avoid. He was up and kneeling before her in an instant, taking her napkin and wiping her tears away gently.
“I just…I just wonder if he was in love with her at least,” she told him as the tears fell. “Maybe I would feel better if I knew that he loved her and just couldn’t tell me because he didn’t want to hurt me….And then I feel like it shouldn’t matter because I wasn’t in love with him anyway, but why couldn’t he love me? What is so wrong with me? Is it because I’m deaf?”
He hated to think it, but if Parker were alive at that moment, he might take a shot at him for making her feel this way. He didn’t want to get forceful in his response, since he felt his anger rise a few thousand notches. They were so incredibly unworthy of her, and somehow they made her feel as if she were unworthy of them. “There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing, baby, nothing at all. You’re perfect. You’re an angel. He was a bloody git that had no right to touch you—“
“So I am tainted!” she wailed.
“Buffy, no. No, you’re not tainted. You’re still perfect, still a gem—“
“Would you want to have sex with me?”