“Why not? If he knows me, Angel, if he’s watching--”
“I said no!”
Even though she couldn’t hear him, she knew that he had yelled and she jumped just the same.
Spike was there then, putting a hand on her shoulder and looking at Angel. “What’s going on?”
“Buffy here wants to make herself bait for the murderer.”
Spike shook his head adamantly. “Absolutely not, Princess.”
“But—“
“No.”
Buffy sighed, and then had to laugh. First she had been scared beyond belief because of the murderer, and then she was offering herself up to catch him. A bit contradictory, but testament to how much she just wanted this to be over.
They looked at her as if she were mad. “I just want to go home,” she whined. “I’m done, I’ve had it.”
“All right, Princess, let’s go home.”
Angel raised a brow at that remark, but said nothing. Instead he followed the pair out of the precinct, noting how Spike wrapped a protective arm around Buffy and cuddled her close to him. Seemed to him that Mr. Giles was finally figuring out just what Buffy meant to him. Too bad it took her getting attacked for him to feel he could express it better.
Once they’d arrived at Buffy’s, Spike set about making sure everything was locked up tight. Angel helped him while Buffy showered.
“Spike,” Angel said as they stood in the living room, checking the window latches.
“Yeah?”
“Look…I like to think I can read people rather well.”
“Yeah…?” Spike said slowly.
“And I think you’re a good guy, if not a bit…fucked in the head. You’re a good cop, I can tell that, and I can also tell you care about Buffy, but you have a funny way of showing it. She likes you, you know she does, and here’s the thing: If you’re just gonna hurt her, then leave her before she gets more attached to you than she already is, but if you really do care for her and want to make her happy, then stop playing the head games. Figure out what you want and go for it. Cause Spike…if you hurt my sister, I’m gonna have to kick your ass and I don’t want to have to do that, all right?”
Spike nodded. “I get that.”
“I love my sister more than anything. Growing up, it was just me and her and I’ve seen kids be mean to her, people treat her like shit, overlook her because of her handicap and I am protective of her, often overprotective, but I figure its best you know where I’m coming from than being in the dark if I have to take a swing at you, you know?”
Spike laughed, “I hear ya.”
Angel smiled. “I just want someone to take care of her. Not because she’s deaf. She’s a strong woman, she really is. It’s just…everyone deserves to have someone take care of them.”
“I do care for her a great deal, Angel.”
“I know you do. I just wish you’d show it more. For all of Buffy’s bravado, she’s really scared inside, and not just about this…but just about being alone and all that. Parker was an ass. He treated her like shit, and she bore it, and the only reason why she bore it was because he was her first for everything and he showed her interest where others hadn’t. I’m convinced that bastard was using her, and he pretty much confirmed it when he took her money to open his bar. Buffy’s got a big heart, and she wants to live life to the fullest and I don’t want to see her waste that zest for life she has. I want to see her embrace it as she’s always done. I see how you encourage her and support her; I think that’s what she needs.”
“I agree,” Spike whispered. “She’s…she’s an angel.”
Angel laughed. “Well, I wouldn’t go that far. She’s got a stubborn streak a mile long.”
Spike chuckled. “Don’t I know it.”
“And she can act like a brat when she doesn’t get her own way.”
“Did you want me to continue to like her or not?” Spike joked.
Angel laughed again. “I’m stopping.”
“I…I won’t hurt Buffy for sport, Angel, you have my word on that.”
“Don’t hurt her at all, Spike.”
“I will try not to. It’s the last thing I ever want to do.”
“Make sure it is the last thing you ever do, or I will.”
After the house was checked in every room, every nook and cranny, Spike made his way up to Buffy’s room and Angel retired to his.
Opening the door slowly so as to not frighten her too much, he found her staring at the TV expressionless. She looked over at him and smiled weakly. “Hi.”
“All locked up. You all right?”
“Not really. How about you?”
He sat down next to her and took her hand in his. “Not that well either, pet.”
“Why not?”
He studied her, “How can you ask me that?”
She blinked, “I’m…sorry?”
Sighing, he shook his head, looking at her with what he hoped was sincerity. He was going to lay it on the line for her, and it was important that she believe him, that she ‘read’ him correctly.
“Buffy, the start of this night was hell for me…the day was hell, who am I kidding? You going out with Riley....All day that was all I could think of. You and Riley. Him touching you, saying nice things to you, wooing you…and you possibly falling for it. It…it killed me. And I know I have no right to feel that way, especially after what I did in regards to Anya.”
“Spike—“
“Let me finish, please?”
She nodded and gestured for him to continue.
“I was dumb for doing that; you were right. That was awful of me to use Anya like that. Pet, one thing though, you are not interchangeable. Not in the least. Anya is a nice enough person; she’s just not for me. You though…you’re,” he broke off, running his free hand through his hair, “To me, you’re an angel. You embody everything that I need, Buffy. You make me see things differently. You show me different ways of looking at things rather than keeping my narrow outlook. You don’t play stupid games that other women do, you’re upfront and you’re honest—“
“Well, in all fairness, it was wrong of me to go out with Riley just to get back at you.”
“Well, yeah.”
“On the other hand, I wanted to give him a chance…I knew something about not being given one, and not just by you, Spike.”
“I don’t get that…how anyone could have you in their life and just waste it away…waste it on someone like Gwen,” he wrinkled his nose in disgust.
She smiled, “Thank you.”
“Buffy, tonight when I got the call that you were attacked and hurt, I lost it. I was the most scared I’d ever been and that’s saying a lot considering I’ve had guns pointed at me with the intent to take my life before.”
She looked horrified by that, but he continued on. “I would have moved Heaven and Earth to get to you. The thought of you hurt…it drove me crazy.”
“Spike—“
“And besides, even if you did want to see Riley again, you won’t be able to.”
She narrowed her eyes, “Why not?”
“Cause I’m pretty much gonna put him in a full body cast when I see him.”
She laughed, “You wouldn’t do that.”
“He should have been there with you.”
“He was.”
“The whole time.”
“What was he supposed to do? Follow me to the bathroom?”
“Yes.”
Her eyes widened, “Would you have done that?”
“Princess, don’t you know?” he said softly, sidling up closer to her. Reaching out, he took a lock of her hair and twirled it in his fingers as he looked at her tenderly. “I’d do anything to get to you. Do anything to keep you safe.”
She said nothing, just stared at him, slightly dazed. He kissed her; slowly at first, and then rising in passion. He poured his longing, need, desire, worry, fear, relief and adoration for her all in that kiss, and this time when she pulled him closer to her, he didn’t pull away, but instead allowed himself to be dragged down onto the bed so that his body covered hers.