She looked down at him and her stomach growled. She winced on a smile. “Did you hear that? I think my belly just growled; I could feel it.”
He grinned at her, “Yeah, I heard it,” and he placed his hand on her belly. A thought came unbidden to his mind of her, holding his baby inside her. He shrugged it off, not dwelling on it.
“Are you hungry?” she asked.
“I guess,” he shrugged.
“You guess?”
“I don’t want to leave here right now,” he told her honestly. “I like being here like this.”
She burrowed deeper into the couch, sliding a leg over his hip and kissing him softly. “Me too.”
“Buffy, I--”
She looked up at him, studying him expressionless.
“I—I don’t want you to be with anyone else.”
She smiled, “I don’t plan on it.”
“And I don’t want to be with anyone else.”
“You don’t?”
He shook his head, “No, I don’t. I want…I want to be with you.”
“I’d like that,” she whispered. “I like when you’re with me.”
“I’m sorry I was such a jerk to you today,” he mumbled.
“I’m sorry I pushed you so hard today.”
“When?”
“Your mother.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. I realize I might have overstepped my bounds and I apologize for that. I have no right to pass judgment on what it feels like for you or what you should do in regards to that whole situation. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if either of my parents did that, though, I wouldn’t necessarily blame my father if he did.”
“Buffy, I’m shocked!” he said, grinning.
“You have met her, right?”
He laughed, “You never cease to surprise me.”
“You don’t think I’m boring?”
He gaped, “Boring? Are you kidding? Where would get an idea like that?”
“Parker.”
“That wanker.”
“Yeah.”
“You’re not going to scold me for speaking ill of the dead?”
“Nah, what’s the point? I pretty much agree.”
He smothered her in a kiss, chuckling into it. Pressing her into the couch, he shivered when his hardening cock lined up with her center and rubbed against her.
Cooing at him, she brought his head down for a kiss. The kiss started out gentle and slow, and built in its passion and intensity. Soon, he was hard as a rock and rubbing his erection against her folds.
“Let me inside, kitten,” he murmured, “Let me inside the juicy quim of yours.”
She spread her legs for him and he sunk inside her, both of them sharing a moan of completion. He rocked inside her, taking his time making love to her slowly, tenderly. There was no rush as they murmured to each other, nonsensical words that only they understood. Their moans and sighs were like a symphony and their bodies were the instruments they were playing in perfect execution.
“I love you, Buffy,” Spike whispered in her hair, “I love you so much. Please don’t leave me, ever; I couldn’t bear it if you did.”
“Spike,” she murmured, tugging on him to look at her. “What did you say?” she asked breathlessly.
“Just sayin’ how good you feel, kitten.”
“Mmm…you feel good too.”
“How good?” he asked, brushing hair from her face, his eyes boring into hers. “Describe it, I want to know.”
“You’re so hard…”
“Yeah?” he encouraged, pumping faster.
“And so smooth inside me. You’re so deep inside me…”
Putting his hands under her bottom, he lifted so that her pelvis tilted. Wrapping her legs around his waist, he penetrated deeper inside her.
“Ah, yes…like that, Spike, just like that…”
“My girl going to cum?”
“Yes…all over your big cock inside me…want you to cum inside me…I love it when I can feel you cum inside me…”
“Oh, God, Buffy…” he moaned, swiveling his hips slightly.
She gasped. “Ooh…right there.”
He grinned, “Like…” and he thrust hard inside her, hitting her clit, “That?”
“Yes,” she hissed and he did it again.
When her walls clamped down around him, squeezing him into oblivion, she moaned loudly and brought his face down to kiss him hard. “I love you,” she whispered into his mouth and kissed him again.
Hearing those words sent him over the edge and he let go, jerking inside her.
When their breathing was normal once more, Buffy’s belly growled once more and she giggled, running her fingers across his sweat-slicked brow. “I’m really hungry now.”
“Stay there, luv,” he told her, rolling off her. “Don’t move a muscle. I’ll get you something to eat.”
Buffy was learning the joy of loving someone coupled with the heartbreak of them not being able to say it back.
She saw it in his eyes when he made love to her, could see the love he had for her and it had prompted her to tell him what was in her heart. She’d always been of the opinion that what was the point of having feelings if you couldn’t express them? And what she saw was real right? He did love her...right? He had to, no one could fake that look.
Buffy had in that moment let go of her earlier conviction to not tell him, and let it fly free. She desperately wanted to hear the words, wanted him to put voice to his feelings, and not just because she wanted to know that what she saw in his eyes was the real thing, but because she really thought that if he could just let go of some of his control he'd find himself a lot happier.
And wasn't that what love was all about? Wanting the one you loved to be happy? And she did love him, so very much...and he did love her, too...right?
Spike stood in the kitchen feeling like a coward for not just fucking telling her. What the hell was wrong with him?
Oh, let me count the ways...
What would be lost if he just told her? He felt it, so what was wrong with just saying it. It'd probably make her feel good to know.
He'd have everything to gain and nothing to lose...conceivably. Really, though? He felt as though he'd have more to lose. Saying it out loud, putting it out there, letting her know could give her power over him. She could smite him if she chose. If she left him, knowing how he felt....but she'd said it. She loved him. How was it that she wasn't afraid? Though, she wasn't afraid of much, that woman.
God, he could learn so much from her. How to let go, how to embrace what you felt and let it take you over...he'd done it while he made love to her and by God, it had been a spiritual experience. Having sex when you loved someone made all the difference in the world.
So, then, what was the problem? Bad things happen when that word gets flung around. What if she left me? Then what? I'd be lost. What happens to me if I say it? Though, nothing has happened and I feel it. She hasn't made me change...at least not in ways I don't want to, or need to. She’s not Anya, she’s not her mother and she’s definitely not my mother or Dru…so then what’s the problem? Is it a simple matter of changing how I look at things? And isn’t that what she’s been telling me to do all along?
The doorbell ringing made him jump and he dropped the mustard he was using to make Buffy a ham sandwich on the counter. It splattered all over him. Jesus, good thing I’m naked. He was then gripped with fear -- Christ, I hope it’s not Angel having come back!
Straining, he heard Buffy talking to someone that sounded very much like….Finn. What the hell? Growling, Spike wiped himself off quickly and quickly peeked into the living room. She was dressed, though he could tell she’d hastily put them on, her pants were on correctly, but her shirt was on backwards and inside out. Her hair was completely mussed. He grinned. He’d done that.
He had an urge to call for her, but she wouldn’t hear him. Thinking fast he remembered the robe that was hanging in the downstairs bathroom and he ran to get it. He thanked whatever powers he had to that the robe was not frilly and girly, but plain white. Slipping it on, he strolled to the door, whistling.
He could hear Finn saying something about food and he could hear the rustling of what sounded like a paper bag.
Sidling up next to Buffy he grinned at Finn. “What do you want?”
Finn looked startled and then hurt. He looked down, shuffled his feet and then looked back up, but at Buffy. “So, yeah, I uh, brought this sub over. I know you like steak and cheese.” Hadn’t Faith said… “He’s always carrying food with him.”?
“Thanks, Riley, you really didn’t have to.”
“I wanted to. I was out getting food for me and Gunn, so it was no problem.”
So then, what is he doing when he goes to get them food? Spike wondered. And does he always go? Next line of questioning will be with Gunn…
“Mmm..steak and cheese,” Spike mused, taking the bag. “Thanks.”
Finn glared at him, “It’s not for you.”
Snatching the bag from him, Buffy glared, sending him the message to cut it out. Spike shrugged.
“See ya, mate,” Spike said and flung the door shut.
Buffy made to open the door, to say a proper goodbye no doubt, but Spike stopped her by wrapping his arms around her. “Now, now, luv. He’s gone off like a good boy.” For now.
She was unable to move in his embrace, so all she could do was shoot daggers at him with her eyes. “Why do you have to be such a jerk to him? You don’t have to rub it in his face that I rejected him and look at you—in a robe! He’s going to think--”
“That we just made mad, passionate love?”
She blushed and her expression softened instantly. I did that, he thought proudly.
“So what if he thinks that? It’s true isn’t it? And besides, he could think I'm heading for the shower. The only thing that might give it away is the fact that your hair is a mess, and your shirt is on backwards and inside out.”
She blushed even deeper, and her expression turned to one of horror. “No!”
“Yep,” he replied grinning.
Pushing out of his arms, she looked down at herself. She looked up at him, mortified and worried, “Does that mean you’ll be taken off the case?”
“For?”
“For…you know?”
“Making mad, passionate love to you?”
She smiled, “Yes.”
“No. If he’s not taking Finn off the case for almost getting you killed--”
“Spike--”
“Then, he’s not going to take me off the case. Especially if he can’t even prove anything. And you have final say anyway…you don’t want me to go, do you?”
Flinging herself in his arms, she kissed him quickly. “No, I don’t.”
“Then no worries, luv….So, what do you say we get you out of these now, hmmm?”
In two seconds flat, Buffy was buck naked once more and two seconds after that she was on her back and on the couch once more as well.