“Spike?”
“Yeah?”
“What are you thinking about Riley?”
“I’m really not thinking of Riley at the moment, luv,” he said, grinning. “I’m thinking about you.”
“I’m right here, though.”
He grinned, “That doesn’t mean I still can’t think about you even when you’re right here.”
She smiled. “What are you thinking about me?”
“How beautiful you are. How sweet and kind…how you’re unlike any woman I have ever met.”
“That a good thing?”
“A great thing,” he said, nodding.
“You’re unlike any man I’ve ever met.”
“That a good thing?”
“Yes. Maybe you don’t realize it, but you give me strength, Spike.”
“How so?”
“I feel safe with you here; you make me feel that the murderer is going to get caught, that I am going to get through it all and that he won’t get the best of me.”
“Luv,” Spike mused, gliding his hand down her back, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’ve done that well enough on your own. I’ve never known anyone bounce back from something as horrible as what you’ve been through so easily.”
“It’s not real, Spike. It’s fake.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, just like you, I am good at hiding my feelings. My fear and my worry anyway. Growing up, I adopted this kind of stoic façade so no one would know what I was really feeling until I shared. You’ve…well, you’ve gotten shown a lot of what I feel. The only other person I let see those things is Angel.”
“I’m honored.”
“You should be.”
Leaning over, Spike kissed her softly. “I am.”
“He will be caught, right?” Buffy asked softly.
“He will Buffy, I promise you that.”
“What if he doesn’t?”
“He will.”
“But--”
“He will. Stop worrying your pretty head over that.”
“What if he gets to me, or you, or Angel before that happens?”
Wrapping his arm about her, he gripped her tightly. “Don’t you talk like that, you hear me? Don’t. He’s not going to hurt any of us, least of all you, you understand me?”
“Yes, but Spike--”
“If you think you’re gonna start on your ‘use me as bait’ tirade now, forget it.”
“But if it was carefully planned and I had protection—“
“No.”
She studied him carefully, “Is this one of those times where you let your feelings come before your job?”
Glaring at her, he sat up and she followed suit. “Yes, it is,” he said simply, watching as she pulled the sheet up to her, covering herself.
“Isn’t that a job hazard?”
He shrugged, “In this case, I don’t care. I’d saw off my own right arm before I’d let anything happen to you, Buffy.”
That was as close to a love confession as he was going to get for now, Buffy wagered, and that was fine with her. For now anyway.
“Really?” she asked, with something akin to awe.
“Yes, really. God, you just don’t get…the thought of you in danger chills me to the bone. I couldn’t bear it, Buffy, and if something happened to you and I knew that I’d help put you in that situation…I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”
Snuggling up to Spike, she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him softly. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, love. It’s me who should be thanking you.”
“For?”
“For being you.”
They sat there in comfortable silence for a while, both lost in their own thoughts of their relationship, which felt both secure and tenuous, and of the case which was a mystery laced with danger. The answer felt close, and yet not, at least that’s how Spike felt. He felt as if he were on the verge of figuring it out, but just needed a little bit more to seal it…
“Spike, I just thought of something.”
He looked down at her, “What?”
“I never told Riley I liked steak and cheese subs.”
“Well…isn’t that something, then?”
“Yeah, he’s…a stalker.”
“Mmmm…” Or perhaps something more than just that, Spike mused.
The following morning after a romp to the start the day the right way, Spike and Buffy had breakfast, and while Buffy tended to her flowers in the backyard, Spike took it upon himself to have a chat with Gunn. How he was going to do so without Finn overhearing, he wasn’t sure, but he was certain he’d come up with something.
He wasn’t all that surprised to find that actually, Finn wasn’t even there. “Where is he?” Spike asked, without preamble.
“Gone to get us breakfast.”
“He walk?”
“He walks everywhere.”
“He take off often?”
“Anytime he can.”
“You get tired of it?”
“Yeah, pretty much tired of him, if you want to know the truth. Spending as much time with a guy as we have, you tend to get tired of them. Except for you with Buffy huh?” Gunn grinned.
Spike’s eyes narrowed, “What are you on about?”
“Well, Riley was all riled up last night after he brought her that sub. He was muttering to himself and going on and on about how you weren’t good enough for her and how he just knew something was going on. I told him to chill out about it, and he just clammed up, wouldn’t talk.”
“He’s got it bad for her then.”
“Pretty bad, I’d say, but he’s weird about that sort of thing though.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean,” Gunn began, “He’s so tight-lipped most of the time. When he talks, it’s most often about correct procedure, stupid cop things that no one gives a shit about hearing or, it’s about Buffy.”
“So, he’s the model cop, or at least tries to show he is.”
“Tries to…I mean, no one can be that perfect. And you see how he kisses Rayne’s ass…”
“Yeah,” Spike said with an eye roll, “I have. What does he say about Buffy?”
“Just how sweet and pretty she is, how she didn’t deserve what’s happened to her. He’s alluded that he could probably do a better job protecting her than you have.”
Spike narrowed his eyes. “That so? That why she ended up with the murderer in the bathroom smacking her across the face?”
“Yeah, he feels bad about that. He beats himself up over it to the point that it’s just ridiculous. I think if given the chance, he’d be her personal bodyguard for life.”
“Don’t you find it…creepy?”
Gunn gave him a pointed look, “Dude, I find him creepy, period. I’m telling you, that man has a dark side in there underneath that wholesome façade. And when he cracks, he’s really gonna crack.”
“Sooner than later?”
“Who knows with him.”
“What do you want?” Looking up, Spike spied Finn making his way to the car, glaring at him.
“Came to see how you boys were doing is all,” Spike told him. He nodded toward the bags in his hand. “Filling up on snacks?”
Finn just nodded and threw the bags in the car. “How’s Buffy?”
“She’s fine. Hey, how did you know she liked steak and cheese subs?”
Finn gave him a look of superiority. “I pay attention.”
“To the point of stalking?”
Finn shook his head, “Why don’t you go and do your job, Spike?”
Spike nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, think I’ll do that.”
Sauntering over to Buffy’s yard, he met with Angel coming out of the house.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Angel asked, nodding toward Finn and Gunn. “Something happen?”
“Sort of.”
“Oh? Something helpful?”
“Perhaps.”
“You gonna tell me?”
“Not just yet,” Spike said walking away.
“Why not?” Angel called after him.
“I’m still theorizing.”
“Will you let me know when you’re done?”
Looking over his shoulder, Spike grinned. “When I’m done, everyone’s gonna know about it."