“You’re not going to tell him?” A flabbergasted and four-month pregnant Faith demanded. “He deserves to know that at least.”
Buffy narrowed her eyes at Faith and squeezed Doyle’s hand under the table at the restaurant they were all at for dinner. “He deserves nothing as far as I’m concerned.”
“Every child deserves to have a father,” Faith said, taking a sip of her water.
“Yeah, and not every guy is like Robin and is willing to marry the woman they impregnate,” Buffy snapped.
“He’s not just ‘willing’ Buffy, he loves me,” the dark-haired girl corrected her with a hard edge to her voice.
“Well, no one loves me, all right? Least of all Spike.”
“Okay, now ladies, how about we relax here? Buffy’s got her reasons and I can’t say that I completely disagree,” Doyle jumped in.
“I’m on the fence, “ Willow said, raising her hand timidly. “I sorta feel he should know, kind of as a lesson for what he—not that it’s horrible for him to have gotten you pregnant, but…am I making this worse?”
Buffy smiled at her red-headed friend, trying to assuage her fears. “It’s all right Willow. I already thought of that. What better way to put the fear of God in him than by telling him that he knocked me up? But, the repercussions of telling him that are too much for me to want to deal with, and really, I’m trying to be adult about this. It takes two to tango and I never thought of protection either, so….”
“So, he should own up to his half of that tango,” Faith told her.
“He’s fucking married, Faith. What can he possibly do for me?”
“Child support? That bastard deserves to be stopped in his tracks for what he does. What are you going to do? Raise this child alone?”
“Yes,” Buffy said stubbornly. “Look, I don’t want to have anything to do with him, all right? End of story. I’m telling you that I’m pregnant and unless I’m asking what I should do to fight morning sickness, the situation surrounding my pregnancy is not up for discussion, all right? I’d rather bring this child into a happy situation, not a miserable one with a philandering father that in actuality could take my baby from me and raise it with that bitch Cecily Adams. Fuck that. I’m going to raise my baby on my own.”
“With help from me,” Doyle said gently.
Buffy smiled, “Right.”
Faith stared at them, focusing intently on Doyle with a look that Buffy couldn’t quite read, but it made her disengage her hand from Doyle’s under the table. Willow, for her part, watched them all, studying everyone closely.
“So, what about work?” Faith asked.
”Well, I met Spike in September, so I’d be due in June. I could have the summer and then put him or her in daycare.”
Faith raised a brow, “You could do that?”
Buffy glared at her, “Yes. You plan on staying home?”
“For as long as I can.”
”Well, it must be nice to have a husband that can take care of things for you like that,” Buffy said sardonically.
Faith just shrugged and sat back, a bored expression on her face.
“Why are you being such an uber bitch to me right now?” Buffy demanded. “I don’t need your judgments here, Faith. I need your understanding.”
That seemed to snap Faith out of what her problem was, and she sat back up, looking at Buffy imploringly. “I’m worried about you is all.” She shook her head, “I’m sorry. I just…I just hate that this has happened to you. I know this wasn’t how you pictured things happening and now you’re going to have a constant reminder of what that asshole did to you and I just think he should have a reminder too.”
“I’m not going to tell him about his child to spite him, Faith. That’s no way to have two parents. I will love my baby no matter who the father is. I’d rather not be reminded about him by having him constantly around. ‘Hi honey, this is your father who can’t be with your mother because he has a wife. You can call her Aunt Cecily.’” Buffy shook her head, “I don’t think so.”
Faith sighed heavily. “Well, there are other reasons, but –“ she held up a hand when Buffy started to open her mouth “I get it. I’m keeping my mouth shut and will be here for you through all of it as well. Hey, I’m two months more along. I can let you know what to expect.”
Buffy smiled, “Thank you, Faith.”
“I wonder if he has gotten anyone else pregnant,” Willow mused.
Buffy grimaced, “I’d rather not wonder, thank you.” I don’t want to wonder anything about him. Not when I’d just gotten to a good spot in my life and I’m finally on the right path. I just want to continue forgetting that I ever met a William Giles. Even if the universe has made it so I can’t.
Spike had a thing for blonds at first shortly after Buffy had left him standing in the elevator two months ago. When he'd go out, he'd single them out, the golden blond kind preferably.
But then he gave up on them when he wasn't able to get it up for them. Now how did something like that happen? How had Buffy come to mean something to him so fucking quickly that he was unable to get it up for another woman, no matter the hair color?
And that wouldn't do, so he switched to the raven haired beauties instead. The complete antithesis of Buffy. And that worked well for him. As well as it could anyway.
He was an angry and bitter man these days. Haven't I been for quite some time? he thought with a derisive chuckle and looked over at the girl, the nameless, faceless girl next to him in bed. No matter how many times he'd had her, he was still angry. Angry at Buffy, Cecily, his in-laws, and when he was done blaming them for his troubles, he found he was angry with himself, and that's what stung the most. That's what made him the most bitter. It was one thing when you could place the blame elsewhere and accept none of it, but when you had yourself to answer to and you came up short each time...well, that was a horribly stifling feeling.
Xander hadn't wanted much to do with him these days, and Oz, well, Oz just sort of blew him off completely. And why not? They didn't want his ways sullying the lives they had with their women.
Rolling out of bed, Spike dressed, not caring he'd promised to stay the night. The dumb broad had to know that he wasn't going to say; couldn't possibly stay. And she was dumb, for she'd gone home with him.
The women in Boston ought to lock themselves up. He'd have thought most of them would have learned about dogs like him by now.