Buffy couldn't be happier. She was on some sort of natural high since last night. Will had been incredibly amazing, and not just in the bedroom. It was as if things were the same again. She couldn't seem to stop smiling. That is until she ran into Liam, her ex lover, on her afternoon walk. She had a suspicious feeling it was no accident.
"Buffy, long time, no see. I get the feeling that you've been avoiding me. Am I right?" He questioned as he lightly caressed her collar bone with the tips of his fingers. She roughly slapped his hand away in repulsion.
"Don't touch me. And don't play games. I told you, it's over." She stated as she began to walk away. He grasped her wrist and jerked her close to his body- flesh to flesh.
"No, don't you play games with me. You know good and well you never could and never will love him like you love me. Remember, I was there first. Nothing will ever change that." He said in reference to her virginity. The pair had a long, sordid history, which Will wasn’t fully aware of.
"That was a long time ago. I was a fool then; a young, inexperienced imbecile. I've changed. I know what's good for me now, and believe when I say you're not him. And who said that I ever loved you?" She retorted vehemently, all the while attempting to pull away from him. But he wouldn't let her go. She wasn't fearful, however. It was broad daylight in the very watchful neighborhood.
"Hey, who're you trying to convince, lover; me or you? You know that no one can give it to you like I can. Especially that limp piece of -" He was cut off by her backhanding him across the face. She used her left hand, and the stone on her wedding ring left an angry, scratch, blood oozing out immediately. He turned back and gave her a look that seemed so empty, and yet so evil.
"You know he's going to leave you, right? He'll leave you all alone, and you'll come crawling back to me."
"He would never leave me. You're wrong about him, and you're wrong about me. Now let. Me. Go." She said with determination.
"Don't waste a good thing. You're gonna miss the water now that the well’s gone dry, lover." He sneered at her as he let her go. She gave him a deadly look before storming away, never looking back.
"I never said he'd willing leave you, babe." He muttered to himself as he slowly backed away.
********
Buffy was a light sleeper. Throughout the duration of the six months she had had staying at the three story house on the hill, she had become accustomed to two sounds during the night: the humming of the refrigerator downstairs, and the sound of her husband’s light snores. The latter was missing; William was no longer in bed.
She sighed sadly upon realizing that she knew he was missing because she couldn’t she couldn’t feel him beside her. They had just started spooning again this week as opposed to opposite sides of the bed, or different rooms. She rubbed gently at her eyes as she got out of bed. She gave a brief yawn and a stretch before putting on her house shoes and heading down the stairs. The house was too silent. She hated hearing the wood creak as she walked across the uncarpeted floors, the echoing sounds her shoes made as they flip flopped against her feet. It was impossible to sneak up on anyone in that house. No matter how lightly she attempted to tread, he would still be able to hear her coming. But then, there was no need for silence. He was already awake, and “Unfortunately,” she thought, “No children to disturb from a peaceful sleep.”
The only light on the entire first floor emanated from the partially closed door of the study. Not lamp light, but the flickering of flame from the fireplace. She thought it to be odd, since it was the middle of summer. They had central air of course, but still…
She stood at the door for a moment and peaked through the slit without pushing it open. He sat directly in front of the fire with his back to her, most of his body hidden behind the massive, leather chair upon which he sat. She could clearly see the top of his golden brown head tilting to the side as if he were in deep contemplation.
She gently pushed the door open, hating the loud creaking noise its hinges made as she did so. With a furrowing of her brow, she called out, “William?” His head perked up a little at the soft sound of her voice, but he said nothing.
“Whatcha doin?” She asked in faux perkiness as she walked closer. He gave a short chuckle at the sound of her voice.
“Just… thinking.” He replied softly, glancing at her quickly before turning his blue eyes back to the orange flames that consumed the wooden logs without mercy as it licked the soot covered bricks.
“Thinking is good. Don’t wanna rot your brain away.” She said uneasily, shifting from foot to foot.
“Why do you think there’s this distance between us? I mean, I forgive you, I do.” He said, turning his body to look at her. She gave an uneasy sigh, walking towards him until she was by his side.
“I don’t know. Are we still in love?” She asked, really asking if he was still in love with her.
“I’m still in love with you. Are you— ”
“Yes.” She cut him off. “I’m still in love with you too. But is it enough?” He swallowed, staring at her steadily.
“I don’t know.” He answered honestly.
“I… I’ve been thinking, Will. And I think, I know that I want to try again.”
“Try what?” He asked, seemingly unsure of what she was referring to, but knowing full well.
“I want… I want to try to have our baby Will.” He swallowed deeply, wishing that he had a smooth brandy.
“You’re sure?” He asked in a low voice, wondering if he could go through it all again if she…
“Yes.” She whispered. “Yes.” She said louder. “I know that I shouldn’t of blamed you when… When I lost her. I know that. But I was hurting so much. I wanted her… so much.” She continued, her voice trembling with pain. “That hurt over losing her, nearly killed me, Will. And I just felt, so alone. You just… you went along as if everything was normal and fine, and I was dying inside.” She said, shaking her head, thinking of how if she hadn’t lost the baby, or at least if Will had shared her pain, she wouldn’t have fallen into Angel’s arms. “But I don’t blame you. That’s just how I felt. But I do want your baby. I always have.” He sat there, staring at her, mouth slightly agape.
“That was why, wasn’t it?”
“That was why what?” She asked truly perplexed.
“Why you… Why you went to him. You thought I didn’t grieve for our child, right?”
“You didn’t.” She said quietly. He stood up in a flourish of fury and pain.
“I did. I cried for her. I begged, and wept and asked God why we couldn’t keep our baby. But maybe it was my fault for doing it alone. For not wanting to burden you. To be strong, for you. For taking care of you, not that you wanted it.” Buffy was stunned into silence, hurt and dismayed by her own careless actions.
“I didn’t know, William. I’m so… I’m so sorry.” She said, tears flowing from her eyes. He pulled her to him gently, holding her tightly.
“I’m sorry too, my luv.” He breathed in her scent deeply.
“So can we?” She asked into his shoulder, breathing in his scent as well.
“As the lady wishes.” He replied, pulling back to look at her before kissing her tenderly.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to blondiebear and rosie :D I'm not sure where this is going, so I can't say for sure how dark or not it's going to be. I'm following my leader- Ms. Muse.