A/N: Well, I guess it's been a while, but I was having a hard time deciding where I wanted to take this story. I finally decided, and I'm going to try to work hard and finish this one up before picking up a new one that's really been pushing it's way into my head. I hope you enjoy this, I'll probably have more up soon, this chapter is a bit of a two parter, so the wait should be shorter. Enjoy, and reviews are always deeply appreciated.

I had a true love if ever a girl had one
I had a true love a brave lad was he
One fine Easter Monday with his gallant comrades
He started away for to make Ireland free

For all around my hat I wear a tri-coloured ribbon, oh
All around my hat until death comes to me
And if anybody's asking me why do I wear it
It's all for my own true love I never more will see

He whispered "Goodbye love, old Ireland is calling
High over Dublin our Tri-colour flies
In the streets of the city the foe man is falling
And wee birds are whistling "Old Ireland arise"
-Peadar Kearney, "Tri-Coloured Ribbon"

Buffy paused before opening the door to Spike's room. She asked Cordelia to give them some privacy and ignored the look she received. Finally, she drew a deep breath and pushed the door open, closing it partially behind them.

"Will?"

He was sleeping on the cot but stirred at the sound of her voice. He sat up suddenly, ready to fight, but his eyes cleared and when their eyes met his softened and he managed a weak smile.

"Buffy, hey."

An awkward moment passed between them, both staring anywhere but at each other, the only sounds the shuffling of her feet and their breathing.

"Will-"

"Buffy-"

They both smiled and looked down. "Go ahead, pet."

She shuffled some more and Spike moved to the side of the cot, motioning for her to join him. She sat, her hands clasped on her knees.

Spike couldn't help but lean closer to her as she gathered her thoughts and tried to find a way to tell him what was on her mind. By the time she turned to speak to him his lips were close enough to hers that if she leaned forward just a bit they would be kissing. She remembered what it was like to kiss him, how at home she always felt when she was touching him.

By the time she'd decided to go for it, he was already on her. His lips moving slowly against hers, his tongue coaxing her lips open. She moaned into his mouth and he slid his hand from it's place on her knee to his waist. He pulled her closer, their kisses becoming more and more passionate.

Somehow she ended up in his lap, his tongue drawing intricate designs on her neck. It was too much, it had been too long. God she missed this. She felt his arousal pressing into her thigh and the thought of how far this was about to go brought her back to herself.

"Will, oh God, Will, please..."

He pulled her closer to him, his hips coming up to rub himself against her, attempting to ease the pressure building in him. "Buffy, yes, I missed you so much, oh yes pet-"

She cupped his face in her hands and he leaned forward to kiss her, she allowed him to for a moment before pulling away and closing her eyes, trying to regain control. "Will, we have to stop."

His hands ceased their exploration of her back and right breast, his hips stopped moving and the look in his eyes almost made her rethink her decision. "We've got to talk, we can't fall back into something that ended like it did."

Memories of the months spent waiting for Buffy to write to him, to return his calls, anything, rushed back and he looked away from her.

"You're right."

She didn't move off of his lap, and he didn't want her to. What had happened in the past hurt, but he couldn't deny any longer that he was still completely in love with her. He'd forgive her anything if she asked him to. He just wanted her back.

He buried his face in her neck and she held him to her tightly. She didn't understand how things had gotten so out of hand. Her talk with Xander had made it plain that denying her feelings for Spike was stupid and the fact that they'd been given a second chance was more than a sign to Buffy, it was like a command. Everything in her called out to him, and she couldn't ignore it.

"Will, I missed you too."

He turned his head to kiss her neck lightly and hold her closer. "You don't know how much that means to me, pet."

They sat like that for a while longer, just happy to be back in each other's arms after all the time apart.

"What are we gonna do, Will?"

"Lot of that depends on you, Xand and I aren't exactly free men at this point."

Buffy sighed. She hated this situation, it was cruel to bring them together again only to have everything conspire to break them apart again. Only this time, he would die if they didn't work out. This thought only made her more urgent to clear things up between them.

"Listen, Will, I don't know why this all happened, at this point I don't care. I can't care, I love you too much for it to matter. I forgive you for everything, I don't even want to think about it, I just want us to figure this out and start over."

Will nodded immediately against her. "I love you too, Buffy so much, and I. . ." he pulled back and looked at her. "Wait a minute, you forgive me?"

Buffy looked at him for a minute and nodded slowly. "What do you mean?"

"I didn't do anything wrong."

Buffy stood, confusion and burgeoning anger vying for dominance. "What do you mean you didn't do anything wrong. It's your fault we haven't talked in years, you lied to me!"

"I lied to you? I never lied to you, I never wanted you to go, and I never did a damn thing to make you think any of that!" Now Spike was yelling too. He didn't understand how she could blame any of this on him, he'd begged her to talk to him, sacrificed all of his pride to reach her, and nothing. Not a damn word from her, and now she expected him to apologize for it?

"You should be apologizing to me! I've given up everything for you, I'm willing to leave the life I've built, the life I sacrificed everything for to be with you! How the fuck can you say any of this to me?!"

"Yeah, you did sacrifice everything, including me! I must have been out of my mind to think that any of this had changed. I love you, yeah, and you love me, but sometimes that isn't enough."

All the blood drained from his face at her words. He was angry, yeah, but that didn't mean he could live without her. "Buffy, wait-"

"No, just... Just leave me alone, this time make it permanent!"

She ran out the door and slammed it behind him. By the time he reached it, he could hear it lock and he sank to the floor, more hopeless than he could ever remember being. None of this made any sense. Something was wrong here, and Spike was damned if he wasn't going to figure it out.

***

"So you're feeling better then?"

Xander nodded and sat up on his cot. "Thanks to you, I can't tell you what this has meant to me." He looked at his feet. "After what I've done, I'm so sorry."

Anya rolled her eyes. "Xander please, all's fair in love and war, and since we're done with the war part..."

Xander didn't know what hit him.

***

Liam heard that Buffy was going to see him again. He didn't like it, but he had faith in her. She'd been so broken when he'd first met her. So afraid to trust anyone, especially some Irish rebel who wanted her heart, but eventually he'd gotten through to her, and he wasn't about to lose her to the jerk who'd left her the lonely and angry woman he'd first met.

The door wasn't closed when he came to it, and he wanted to make sure she was ok. Who knew what these bastards were capable of at this point.

Liam felt his heart break, he could actually feel it happen. He saw her, in his arms, kissing him, touching him. She loved him. She fucking loved him and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

He leaned against the wall and slid down until he could wrap his arms around his legs. He wasn't sure how long he sat there, but when he stood he knew what he had to do.

***

"So what's the deal with Buffy and Spike, I know what happened to break them up, but I don't see how she can take him back, I mean, she's all over him. I would have been moved to take some serious vengeance if someone did that to me."

Xander was still in a slight post-orgasmic haze, but the last part of what she said knocked him out of it.

"Wait a minute, what he did to her?"

"Yeah, hello, he told her he was dead. She mourned him for over a year."

Xander shot up in bed. "Oh fuck."

***

Buffy ran straight to her room and stood in the doorway refusing to cry. She wouldn't let him make her cry again. He wasn't worth it anymore. He obviously cared more about his job than her. He couldn't even admit what he'd done. Did he have no idea what that had done to her, how much it hurt when he was gone?

Buffy ran a hand over her face and thought back to his words. Of course it had meant a lot to him to hear she had missed him. He knew what kind of power he had over her, and he must get off on it.

She shook her head and looked over to her bed. There was an envelope sitting there. She picked it up and noticed Liam's messy script. "What the-"

Two sentences into his letter she was running.

***

Liam hadn't been to Mahoney's in a while. It was good to talk to some old friends. It was good to be drunk. It was good to try to forget about Buffy.

He loved her, he really really did. But she'd never really been there for him. Her heart had always belonged to that bleached Brit. He didn't really understand what she saw in him, but whatever it was, it was what she wanted.

He thought maybe she could have loved him if he'd had some more time with her.

He shook his head and shrugged, picking up another shot he called out a toast.

"To Freedom, in every damn sense of the word."

The bomb went off before the liquor touched his lips.

***