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A/N: This is it.

“Of all the comrades that ere I had, they're sorry for my going away,
And of all the sweethearts that ere I had , they wish me one more day to stay,
But since it falls unto my lot that I should rise while you should not,
I will gently rise and I'll softly call, "Goodnight and joy be with you all!"
Oh, if I had money enough to spend and leisure time to sit awhile
There is a fair maid in this town that sorely has my heart beguiled
Her rosey cheeks and ruby lips, she alone has my heart in thrall.
So fill me to the parting glass. Goodnight and joy be with you all.”
-The Parting Glass

Buffy made her way slowly to the room where William was being held. It seemed a little ridiculous to her for them to be keeping William and Xander in holding cells, but she imagined that Doyle didn't want to give too much away about their captives to the rest of the crew. It was bad enough that they weren't using them for the reasons they'd originally intended, but she and Anya were involved romantically with the enemy. That certainly wouldn't boost morale after Liam's death.

When she reached the door she hesitated. She still wasn't sure what she was going to tell him. He had to leave, that much was certain, but she wasn't sure that she could leave with him. Not at the moment anyway. The loss of Liam had hurt them all enough, but if she trounced off with William now it would be like she never really cared at all. She had worked too hard with all of these people to just leave them when so much needed to be done to fix things.

She took a deep breath as she reached a decision and opened the door to William's room. He was asleep on the cot, but as she moved to sit next to him after locking the door he woke.

"Hey."

She smiled back at him sadly and when he opened his arms to her with a worried frown she settled into them and buried her face in his neck.

"What is it, luv?"

She didn't answer, just started to place small but insistent kisses on his neck. He seemed liked he might pull away for a moment, but her lips covered his and he moaned into her mouth. He allowed her to roll him onto his back and didn't resist when she tugged his shirt out of the waistband of his pants and over his head.

When she reached for the button on his pants he finally covered her hands with his.

"Buffy, wait."

Spike pulled himself into a sitting position and tried to catch her eye, not letting go of her hands. "What's going on?"

"Will... I just-"

"This is goodbye."

It wasn't a question, and she wasn't surprised to hear the anger and pain in his voice. "Jesus Christ, Buffy," he cursed, swinging his legs over the side of the cot and pulling his shirt back on.

"I'm sorry."

"Not sorry enough though, are you?"

Buffy stared at him for a moment before feeling her own anger and frustration take over. "What the hell do you expect me to do?"

"What do I expect?! I expect a chance, just one fucking chance. Do you think people usually get the break we've managed here? I mean, we were sure that we'd never see each other again, and suddenly we're thrust back into each other's lives. It's too perfect for us to give up!"

Buffy swallowed back tears and glared up at him. "Do you think I haven't thought about all this? Do you think this decision was easy for me? It's not just us that I have to think about, it's not just what I want to do, what I desperately want to do. I love you, Will, I love you more than anyone, anything, in my life, but I have responsibilities. I can't just leave everyone here."

Spike knelt in front of her and grabbed her hands. Buffy could see the desperation in his eyes. "Please, luv, please don't do this. They don't need you half as much as I do."

She bent her head and kissed him hard trying to make him feel all the love and longing that she felt for him. They parted to breathe and he leaned his forehead against hers. His heart sank when he felt her tears falling on his cheeks and he closed his eyes with a sigh of resignation.

"Please understand why I have to do this."

He nodded against her and kissed her, letting his tears mingle with hers. "When?"

"We'll start getting ready tonight. Early tomorrow morning we'll get you out." He assumed as much, but it still hurt to hear that in so little time he would be separated from Buffy again, possibly forever. "Where will you go?"

He was surprised that they were giving him a choice. He'd figured they would drop him in the middle of nowhere so that they couldn't be implicated and he couldn't get back to his government. This complicated things even more.

"Can't go back to England, that's a given."

She nodded against him. "Maybe... well, we're going to have to change your appearance a bit, give you new papers.. actually we're kind of going to a lot of work for you."

He smiled and held her tighter. "I guess it helps to have friends in high places."

"Will-"

"Maybe I should go back to California," he whispered, interrupting her. He didn't want to talk about them, he didn't want to discuss the inevitable death of their relationship.

"Are you serious?"

"If I could hide out for a while I could probably start over. I suppose Rupes would be happy to see me."

"Don't tell him what I've been doing, Will."

"He doesn't know?"

She shook her head against him. "He and my mother think I'm teaching out here. I can't tell them, for more than security reasons, I feel like Giles would think I've betrayed him."

"He loves you, you could never disappoint him."

"But you won't stay, you can't approve, how can he?"

Spike swallowed hard. "It's not that... Buffy, I can't stay because I have no idea what I think about any of this anymore. Part of me wants so much to stay because you're here, and because if you believe so much in something, then it must have some merit. Another part of me is terrified that if I stay I'll hate myself for it, be completely torn all the time, and eventually resent you for it. It's killing me to leave, but I have to figure some things out."

She knew he was right, but she couldn't stand to hear anymore of his reasoning. "Will you..." she paused and looked into his eyes. "Can we just be together for a while, forget about all this?"

He nodded and pressed his lips to hers softly. The kiss was incredibly tender, perhaps the most tender kiss they'd ever shared. She broke away a moment later to place tiny kisses all over his face. They moved so that he was lying underneath her on the cot, their hands moving slowly over more and more uncovered skin.

It felt strange to have such an ache in his heart while his body responded to hers so eagerly. He tried, as hard as he could to push everything out of his mind as she made love to him with her mouth and hands, but he couldn't seem to manage it.

When she took his aching cock in her hands and allowed her wet slit to slide over him he gasped and all thoughts vanished.

"Buffy!"

She smiled down at him and slowly slid down until he was fully seated inside her and they both let out a strangled moan. "Are you with me?" she asked breathlessly, her fingers stroking his cheeks.

"Always, luv." He pulled himself up so that he could wrap his arms around her and kissed her softly, his tongue meeting hers almost hesitantly. "I wish I could stay."

"Shh..." She rode him slowly, the only sound their labored breathing, interrupted occasionally by low moans.

He felt his orgasm approaching and held off, refusing to end things so quickly. If this was his last moment of peace with her, he wanted it to last as long as possible. His hands gripped her hips tightly, and he thought idly that he might leave bruises there.

She slowed down, seemingly understanding his need for time. It was too much for her at that moment, the reality of what was happening and he buried her face in his neck, unable to stop the tears from falling.

"Shhh, luv, shh..." Spike stopped his movements within her and changed their position so that she was on her back. "It's going to be alright."

She shook her head and pulled him against her tighter. "I've been trying to hard to believe that," she whispered, half sobbing, "but I can't lie to myself anymore."

Spike balanced himself on his forearms and wiped her tears away with his thumbs before kissing her softly. "This doesn't have to be the end, Buffy."

She shook her head again and cried harder. "Please don't ask me to leave again, I won't be able to say no."

He turned his head and swallowed, trying not to beg her to do something that would only make her hate him in the end. "That's not what I mean."

She looked up at him and he smiled sadly down at her. "Come find me."

"What?"

"In a year, or a few years, hell twenty years from now.. whenever you finish here, when you think you can leave, please come find me." As he finished he thrust deep inside her and hit the sweet spot inside her, causing her to arch up against him.

"Yes!"

He kissed her hard and pulled almost all the way out before pushing in again. "Is that an answer to my question, luv?"

She matched his hips' movements with her own. "I'll find you, Will, I swear I'll come for you."

By the time she had finished her promise, he was pounding into her harder than he'd ever remembered. She met each thrust with as much force as he was giving and too soon they were crying out each other's names, both unaware of their tears.

***

Spike didn't remember much after that, but he awoke later to find Buffy placing soft kisses on his chest.

"How much time do we have left?"

"About an hour," she whispered, not stopping her ministrations.

He sighed and bent to capture her lips with his. "It won't be twenty years," she whispered as they broke apart.

"What?"

"I won't make you wait that long."

He pulled her against him and buried his nose in her hair, trying to memorize the smell of her, the feel of her body against his. "I'd be lying if I said I was fine with you taking your time, but I don't want you to leave until you're sure you won't feel like you have to come back, or that you left something unfinished."

"A year."

"Buffy, don't set-"

"A year, I promise you, Will, I won't make you wait more than a year. I just can't leave right away, not after what happened to Liam. I can stay and help Doyle get settled and then they won't need me as badly here. If I can manage to survive-"

"You'll survive. Don't ever even bloody consider giving up like that. We've waited too long. Buffy," he whispered, his voice going from stern to desperate in seconds, "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you again. I don't think...."

He didn't finish, just kissed her and pulled her tighter against him, wanting to spend his last few hours with her in relative peace.

***

Spike looked in the mirror and had to laugh. He was basically back to his former self. His hair was brown again, though darker this time, his curls had grown a bit and he was foregoing the gel. He was wearing glasses again, and make-up hid the scare on his eyebrow. He was dressed in tweed, and he looked so much like Giles that it was slightly unnerving.

He glanced back at Buffy and saw that she was attempting to hide a grin as well.

"Don't say a word."

"Oh, I definitely was saying nothing."

He turned and pulled her against him lightly. "So this is it then?"

She nodded against his chest and he fought for the millionth time the urge to ask her to go with him.

"Can't wait to see old Ripper's face when he sees me."

"God, Will, he might have a heart attack."

"Wouldn't that be bloody perfect, the kid he's practically raised as a son whom he'd thought dead shows up alive, and he kicks it. It'd be typical."

She chuckled against him and kissed his jaw. "I'll miss you."

"Goes without sayin' both ways, luv. But you made me a deal, and if you're not back in a year I'm coming here and dragging your gorgeous ass back with me."

"I wish there was a more reliable way for us to stay in touch without it being such a danger."

"I'll just be getting home ready for you. Everything we talked about, it's gonna be yours. When those bastards back in England believe I'm dead they'll have to send everything home, and won't they have a hell of a time explaining where the extra cash is coming from to Rupert."

There was a knock on the bathroom door and Doyle stuck his head in. "You ready?"

Spike nodded and wrapped his arm around Buffy's waist as they moved into the garage. Xander stood next to the car with Anya, a sad smile on his face.

"Can't believe you're staying. Actually, I can't believe they'll keep you."

Xander shrugged and squeezed Anya's hand. "Not much to go back to. And I make at least one person here happy." He smiled at Anya, who grinned back before placing a kiss on his cheek.

Spike and Xander stood regarding each other for a moment before they both released their ladies and hugged each other. "Take care of her until she gets back to me."

"She'll be the one taking care of me, and you know it."

Spike smiled and let his friend go. "And take care of yourself, maybe we'll see each other again."

"I've been trying to escape you for years, what makes you think I'll let that happen?"

They smiled sadly and shook hands one last time before Xander let Anya lead him away, and out of his best friend's life forever.

Spike turned to Buffy and before he could get a word out, her lips were on his. Only when Doyle's not so subtle cough interrupted them did they break apart.

"I love you, Will. Wait for me."

"I love you too. One year, baby."

She nodded and he got into the car.

***

1 Year Later

William knew something was wrong. He'd been feeling off all day. It had been a year since Buffy had made her promise to find him, and he still hadn't heard from her. He refused to let it worry him that she had stopped sending anyone letters a month before. He figured she needed to find a way to get away from everything, to disappear for a while before she could come home, but he thought he would at least get a little bit of a warning.

Ever since he'd left Belfast, he'd been trying not to think too hard about Buffy's absence, and just get ready for when she'd be home. They'd talked for a while before he'd left about what they wanted in the future. They'd decided to settle down in Sunnydale, like their original plans when they were still teenagers.

With the right fake papers, they could make the kind of life they'd been missing. They wanted kids, and steady, safe jobs, with the possibility of children. It might sound boring to most people, but after being surrounded by death and destruction for most of their lives, they were ready for a change of pace.

That was, of course, dependent on Buffy's return to California.

So, when William walked into his uncle's home and saw his future mother-in-law in tears and his uncle fighting them back, he got a little panicked.

"What is it?" he whispered, his voice emotionless.

"William, I think you should sit-"

"Don't you dare tell me to fucking sit down," he said harshly, his voice rising. "Is it Buffy?"

"We aren't sure if-"

William was outside and running for his car in seconds. He refused to believe that Buffy had gotten herself into a mess. She wouldn't do that to them, she couldn't. It was too close to the time when she would be coming home. He knew he was driving like a maniac the short distance to his home, but he didn't care. He parked haphazardly in the driveway and ran inside.

If he was going to see Buffy’s picture plastered all over the news saying she was dead or worse, he was going to do it alone. His hands shook as he watched his worst nightmares play out in front of him. The blonde American and the one eyed Irish woman, both suspected of being heavily involved with illegal Republican activity, found dead after an attack. Ambush. Attempt to escape the country. Shoot-out. Four dead.

He fell to his knees, his whole world crashing around him. She’d been coming home. She was coming home to him.

And now she was gone.

He didn’t remember grabbing the bottle of whiskey, but it was almost completely gone now, and finally things were getting a little dimmer. He was finally approaching the numb nothing he was hoping for.

Somewhere his phone was ringing, but he was too far gone. Drunk out of his mind and lost in memories of her, he wanted to waste away.

He finished the bottle quickly, and passed out.

***

Three days later, William still hadn’t left his house. His uncle had stopped by before, but he refused to answer the door and he was glad that out of habit he’d locked it.

After the first bottle of whiskey, when he’d come to, he retreated to the basement with more liquor. This was the place where he kept some of Buffy’s things that he wasn’t sure what to do with. They were pretty much all little sentimental things. Gifts he’d given her, pictures of them and their friends.

He hadn’t cried yet. He didn’t think he ever would. If he ever decided to get over Buffy, he would leave this place entirely. He would sell everything and start over, because this was the last time he would open up his heart.

If he didn’t get over her... This would be the place to end it.

He brought the near empty bottle to his lips and took a swig. It was enough and he felt himself slipping back into sleep until the sound of footsteps on the stairs jolted him back to consciousness.

“I told you to leave me the fuck alone!” he yelled as he staggered toward the landing.

“And I told you that I wanted hardwood floors in the master bedroom.”

He closed his eyes, sure he was either asleep or hallucinating, but when she touched his face he had to look. She smiled sadly. “I’m so sorry, Will.”

That was all it took to break him. He dropped to his knees and pulled her against him. “Oh God, luv...”

She knelt next to him and stroked his hair, trying to comfort him while she let her own tears fall. She hadn’t meant to have such a messy exit, but it was what had to be done, and by the time she was able to alert everyone at home they had already seen the news. But none of that really mattered anymore.

“I’m here now, I’m so sorry. I’ll never have to leave again.”

She wasn’t sure how long they stayed there together, but eventually she was able to coax him into the bathroom. She filled the tub with lukewarm water, not wanting to overheat his body after all the drinking. She helped him undress and settled him into the water before undressing herself and joining him.

He was silent as she ran the washcloth over his skin, taking special care when she came to his knuckles which were bloody and bruised. He hissed when she tried to clean them and she shushed him gently. She stepped out and grabbed some disinfectant.

Finally, when she was satisfied that he was clean and beginning to approach sobering up, she broke the silence.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen this way, please believe me.”

He turned in her arms slightly to that he could face her, if awkwardly. “You think I’m angry?” When she avoided his eyes he brought his hand up to cup her cheek. “You came... I honestly don’t give a bleeding fuck about anything that happened before.”

When he kissed her she finally felt like she was home.

***

A/N: Wow, this has been one weird experience. I’ve never had people react so strongly to anything in my fic until this one. I’m glad I could entertain some people, and to all those who reviewed, thank you so much. I just have to apologize that it took me so long. I hope it ended with the majority satisfied. I had a hard but happy time writing it, so please let me know what you thought. Thanks for reading.





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