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Author's Chapter Notes:
Once again, not beta'd just lil ole me. I'll update with the beta'd chapters once they get back, so xcuse the errors :D
*Eww… Angel lips*

The thought popped into her head and she almost laughed out loud. Spike would have got it…except, well she was kissing Angel.

Angel took the lead from her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her passionately. She got lost in the kiss for a moment; a flood of memories were overloading her brain. Then she remembered why she was kissing Angel, Spike.

Kissing Angel wasn’t unpleasant, but it was definitely lacking the “zing” it use to have. Not dwelling on the past she broke the kiss and stared up at Angel. He was looking down at her his face full of love.

*Damn it Buffy, what are you doing? Trying to break two hearts?*

She stepped back from Angel and the sound of clapping filled the empty street. She turned, and her Spike was standing not 15 feet away. His jaw was clenched and his eyes dark; he was obviously not amused.

“Nice bloody show; was all that for my benefit?”

Buffy’s face turned beet red.

*No Buffy don’t give in; you’re mad remember? HE LEFT YOU*

Angel growled and stepped towards Spike. “What is wrong with you Spike? Can’t you take the hint?”

Spike ignored him. “Not happy to see me luv? ‘N here I thought you might have been all sad I was gone…”

“You’re giving yourself too much credit Spike,” Buffy snapped.

“What the HELL is going on here?” Angel roared. “Buffy?”

“The Slayer was just using you to make me jealous, isn’t that right pet?”

Buffy clenched her fists; this was not how it was supposed to go.

*What did you think would happen idiot? They would both fall at your feet?*

“Spike you’re getting on my last nerve; she wants nothing to do with you! Get that through your head!”

Spike slid into game face. “Do something about it then Peaches, or are you all talk.”

“Spike no…” Buffy started, but was cut-off when Angel leapt at Spike. He slammed into Spike taking them both to the ground. Buffy stood and watched the fight ensue. This was because of her, because of her self-indulgent delusion that kissing Angel would make Spike realize his mistake, when all along the mistake had been hers.

The fight raged for what seemed like forever; both vampires not quitting. Finally it ended, Angel pinned Spike to the ground and pulled a stake from the back of his waistband.

“I should have done this years ago.”

Spike’s game face slipped off; his eyes challenging Angel.

“Do it then; just bloody do it.”

“What?” Angel looked baffled. Spike had given up struggling and was lying in wait.

“You heard me you me, just do it you wanker.”

There was silence, and no one moved. Buffy could barely breathe; he wanted to die. Was this because of her as well?

“No!” she yelled jumping forward and pushing Angel off from Spike.

The two vampires stared up at her and she had to fight hold the tears back.

“You can’t dust him.”

“Why?” Angel looked at her suspiciously.

“Yeah why not Slayer?” Spike was staring her down. He was clearly enraged; she could tell by the furious tick in his jaw.

“Because…” she threw her hands in the air, “I can’t deal with this shit! I have to go save Xander and Willow.” She turned on her heal and began to walk away.

“So that’s your bloody solution then?” Spike yelled after her. “You’re the one who wanted to play this sodding game Slayer, and now you’re just going to walk away?”

She didn’t turn, but stopped her voice quiet. “That’s what I do. I can kill vampires and demons, I can save the world, and I can even die, but this I can’t do.” She wiped the tears from her eyes and turned to look at them. “Don’t kill him Angel, just let him leave. Go talk to Giles…tell him I want him to explain everything to you.” With that she turned and walked away.



***

Hours later she sat alone in the cemetery leaning against a headstone lost in thought. She had “saved” Xander and Willow interrupting the very not-so-timely kiss with a very loud cough. No uncomfortable silence, no injured Cordy, just a very quiet exit. Because she was now “keeping” the secret, she wasn’t forced to explain to Xander how she got back so quickly from her trip with her mother. Let the other Buffy figure that one out.

She was so tired, and so very confused. Kissing Angel had been the stupidest thing she’d done in a long time, and the look on Spike’s face hadn’t brought her any pleasure. He was hurt, she could see it in his eyes, and he was pissed. She didn’t know what possessed her only that on instinct she thought he would realize what he was missing, and forgive her.

She laughed out loud. Right kissing Angel would make Spike forgive her for using him.

*You so need to grow up*

She knew before he made a sound that he was there. A few seconds passed and he was standing beside her, staring down at her.

“So everything’s fixed up with Red and Xander then?” His voice was low.

“Yeah.” What could she say? Apologize, again? Throw herself at his feet and tell him she was pathetic? No, she wouldn’t, that wasn’t her, and that could never be her.

“So you’re just sitting here feeling sorry for yourself?”

She frowned and looked up to glare at him. His eyes were smiling, and he raised an eyebrow at her.

“Well, no one else is going to.”

“You’re damn right about that pet.”

Silence, very awkward silence.

“I…”

“Don’t.” He lit a cigarette and stared down at her. “Don’t explain, I know why you did it, and I wish I could say I understand, but bloody Angel? Couldn’t you have at least picked the whelp?”

“He was busy being unconscious.”

They shared a smiled. Buffy groaned and slowly got to her feet. “So what are your thoughts on the former ‘Big Bad’; everything you remember?”

He chuckled. “Was a smart git even back then; pegged you and Angel didn’t I? Although…a tad pathetic where Dru is concerned; would have made things a lot simpler if I’d just said to hell with her.”

She cocked her head at him. “Yeah, and then you could have just gone back to trying to kill me, what fun.”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t love it.”

She didn’t respond, and she stared at the ground. Where was this going? Did he forgive her? Why was he being so damn nice?

“Luv, stop looking so bleedin’ sad; you’re killing me.” He stepped forward and lifted her chin. “Buffy…”

There was a flash, and a large bang the ground shook and Buffy grabbed at Spike.

“What is going on?”

He looked grim. “I think Red is sending is home.”

She looked up at him, her eyes frantic. “Don’t let go, ok?”

He squeezed her hand and pulled her close. “Never pet, never lettin’ go.”

Buffy started to get dizzy, the light was blinding and the ground was still shaking. There was a loud “WHOOSH” and everything went black.

***

Buffy was on the ground in the cemetery. She began rubbing her temple, trying to adjust to her surroundings. She remembered the flash and the shaking, and Spike….where was Spike?

She looked around; she was in the same spot she had been before the time loop, but minus Spike.

He was gone.


A whole bag of Jellie Bellies...because they are soooo good. :D
A/N:Although it kind of sounds like we're getting close to the end...trust me, we are far from it.





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