[Reviews - 478]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 4246 times

- Text Size +




Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry for the shorty-but it needed to be the way in came out. :D More very soon, I fell behind a day and will make amends tommorrow.
The laughter and the tears came simultaneously.

I love you.

An apocalyptic phrase if ever she’d uttered one. It wasn’t just the meaning behind the words; it was that they had sprung from her lips.

Cry a bit more, tears won’t wash anything clean.

Those eyes were the identical; cold and full of blame. Blame for what? Blame for love, for guilt, for being a weaker version of herself; blame for giving in, blame for just being her. Years had just passed in mere moments, but he unchanged. There was no doubt it was him, but this adventure had left him the same while she had become this.

Whimpering, hysterical, weak.

It didn’t matter now; the line between the vicious and caring Spikes was not blurred, it was gone. The foundation of Spike had been constant for years, only his perception of her had been altered. This journey had been about her all the time and she had gained nothing.

She didn’t try to cover her nudity. The state she was in was penance for trying to fix what hadn’t needed to be. Love was not sex; he’d never been fooled by her before, and it hadn’t been any different in her attempt in the past.

She looked up and didn’t speak. Would it matter she had fucked him? Or was it trivial who it was, just that it was.

“Let him assume the worst,” her mind screamed. “There is no more damage that can be caused; just add one more notch to the list of wounds you’ve already inflicted upon him.”

He’ll go again, and she would get what she deserved.

But he didn’t go.

His arms held her while she cried; it was wrong of her to hope through her grief that there was forgiveness, but there was hope nonetheless.

Time ticked away, and her sobs subsided. She was wrapped up in his arms, her body completely still. She was too afraid if she moved, he would remember that he didn’t want to be holding her.

*Sound a little familiar*

This is how he had felt, every moment with her. That at some point she would remember that she hated him, remember the disgust and shove him away.

*I don’t even know who you are anymore*

At some point they moved, and he wrapped her in his duster and lifted her into his arms. He didn’t ask again, and she didn’t explain.

“Are we home?” she whispered against his chest.

“Dunno’ Slayer.”

There is was again, the reminder of why she treated him the way she did. It was almost an insult coming from his lips. Not luv, pet, sweetheart, or even Buffy, but Slayer.

His crypt was furnished, but no one was there. Everything was exactly the same as he had left it, days, years, minutes before? They had both been too consumed with trying to get home, they didn’t think of the consequences of when they actually returned.

Wrapped in a blanket she sat in the comfy chair in front of the TV. She wouldn’t let him take her downstairs…

*Oh God what have I done?*

He leaned against a pillar, cigarette hanging from his lips.

“Do you remember?” She couldn’t bare it if he remembered; it would have been a year earlier. If Giles had left out the memory adjustment spell he would remember it all.

“Remember what?”

He didn’t remember her in that weak state, that blubbering, soulful state of mind where she had professed her love. If he remembered then he wouldn’t love her anymore. He had said it.

“…loving me would equal weakness, and she couldn’t have that… I love her because she is strong, and because she doesn’t need me, not because she does.”

She had always thought it was what he had most wanted to hear; that he was right, she did love him. But it was obvious now he loved her because she wouldn’t lower herself to that level. That being strong and full of light meant not giving in to temptations from the dark. He loved her because she couldn’t love him back, and that made her better than him, worthy.

Following her train of thought, and ignoring his question she let her heart stumble forward.

“Do you still love me?”

He hesitated, and she almost wept.

“I told you I’d love you until I was dust; meant every word.”

“Even like this?” She pulled open the blanket revealing her naked body; blatantly exposing her alleged deceit.

“I tried to leave you, I tried to show you I could bloody well be with out you, but here I am. I’m nothing without you, and nothing you could ever do could make me leave you again.”

Her heart sobbed; she should be happy that his love was as strong as ever, but he was broken. Seeing her like this, assuming she fallen in to the arms of another man, it broke him. He accepted her actions, as terrible as he thought they were because he couldn’t let her go. He would get mad, he would stalk away, but he could never truly leave no matter what she did.

“It was you.”

His forehead crinkled as he tried to understand what she meant. “I don’t get it Slayer; what was me?”

“I was with you, in the past.”

His fists clenched. “Had an itch you needed scratched eh’? No cares for what it could have sodding done to the future?”

He was angry that she had slept with him.

*I can’t win this can I?*

This wasn’t the time to be weak, or cry, or even to get mad and hurt him a bit. This was her shining moment; what her escapades in the past had prepared her for.

*And somehow I’m not comforted by that.*

“I gave him what I haven’t been able to give you.”

Spike snorted. “I’ve tasted every inch of you Slayer, and there is nothing-“ he let his gaze drop to the juncture of her legs, “-that you haven’t given me.”

*That’s what you think*

“Love.”

***

The emptiness that consumed the town was quiet, and eerie. A town once alive with energy and voices was quiet. Sunnydale was no more; without its people, and even its demons, it was just the Hellmouth.

Those who remained did so with a purpose, preparing for the inevitable dawning of the following day. Only the bright light of two dwellings remained shining, 1630 Revello Drive, and a small crypt in Restfield Cemetery.

A/N: Potato skins with lots of cheese and bacon and sour cream. (cause thats what I want)





You must login (register) to review.