“Huh?” Buffy tried to look as innocent and confused as possible.
*I can’t believe he heard me; way to go with the tact Buffy*
Spike grinned, and tilted his head to one side. “What are you apologizing for pet, and to who? ‘Cause I’d like to be front row center for that bloody miracle.”
Buffy’s eyes narrowed, “No one you know Spikey.”
Spike chuckled and stepped down into the crypt dropping the garbage bags. “Right Slayer, because you’re social circle expands beyond the Scoobies and the undead.”
He was such a jerk; how could he ever expect her to apologize when he made it impossible to feel any remorse.
*He doesn’t expect you to that’s why*
“What’s in the bags?” she changed the subject; her opening had fled.
He raised an eyebrow at her skill in avoiding his questions.
“Blankets, pillows and blood.”
“Oh.” She hadn’t expected him to bring her anything to eat, so why was she disappointed he hadn’t thought of it?
“Here,” he pulled a Ziploc bag out of his duster and tossed it to her; a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, her favorite.
“Thought you might be peckish.” He turned and began unpacking the bags. He was playing it off like it meant nothing, but the look on her face was all the thanks he needed, but she surprised him.
“Thanks,” it was soft and genuine. He pulled the blankets out of the bag, a few pillows, and an egg crate foam layer. She pretended not to notice but she saw it. He was still surprising her after all this time how thoughtful he was; even after all the shit they’d done to each other over the years.
She munched away on her sandwich as he moved to arrange everything into two separate begs; across the crypt from each other. He finished, and hopped onto the edge of the tomb across from her; opening his jar of blood he took a deep gulp. Disgust flittered across his face as he drank it down.
“You weren’t seen were you?” she tried the small talk route.
“Not by anyone who matters Slayer.”
She stopped herself from arguing with him; he wasn’t supposed to be here now in this time. He couldn’t be seen at all.
“So what other bleedin’ surprised should we expect? Besides White Fang out there?”
Buffy scrunched up her face; she hasn’t been thinking about their situation she had been fretting about him.
“Ok…well it was my senior year so…evil Faith, Trick, Acathala, the Mayor…”
“Skip the obvious ones luv and stick to the ones that’ll pop up and bite us in the ass.”
Buffy stiffened at his condescending tone. “Don’t call me that!” Her voice was low and full of warning.
He looked at her strangely; she’d been acting off since he’d gotten back.
“What is your deal Slayer? Just get it out in the open for chrissakes!”
“You had sex with Anya!” Buffy covered her mouth in shock; she hadn’t meant to say that. He was looking at her like she’d kicked him in the stomach.
“We’ve been bloody shot back four years in the past and you’re upset because Anya and I were in the sack? Bloody hell Buffy, you don’t even care! You said it yourself! You sure as hell don’t love me, and I doubt you even sodding like me. You ended with me and what did you think I would do…wait?”
*Yes*
He took her silence as an answer. “Right then, I get it. You don’t want me but you don’t bloody hell want anyone else to either. ‘N don’t think you can pawn this off on you comin’ back from the dead, because this is you Slayer. So please, explain it to me.”
He was angry; fuming. He loved her, and shagging Anya hadn’t changed that; it had just made it all the more obvious. Here she was throwing it in face; he couldn’t be with but she didn’t want him to move on.
“I don’t know.” She lifted her head to look at him and he softened instantly at the moisture glittering in her eyes. “It…” she stumbled over the words. “…it means something that you love me. I know I don’t have the best rack record for relationships; I’d be lucky if I wasn’t named ‘Worst Girlfriend in History’.”
Spike cracked a small smile at her attempt to poke fun at herself.
“Knowing the feelings are there makes me feel like I’m not alone Spike.”
He was stunned; she was being honest with him and actually sharing her feelings about them. “You’re not alone pet; you have the Scoobies and Dawn.”
“It’s not the same.”
They were both silent.
“It hurt…not because you were with Anya but because it wasn’t me. I’m the one who caused the whole thing to happen, and I blame myself for putting you in that position, and then hating you for it.”
He looked at her, his face guarded. “Are you apologizing pet?”
She sighed and wiped the moisture from her eyes. “It looks that way doesn’t it?”
Spike slid to the floor and slowly crossed the space between them. He looked down at her solemn face and raised a hand to push the hair out of her eyes. Buffy flinched unwillingly, and he drew back a frown gracing his features.
“Sorry…habit…” she muttered.
He broke into a grin. “Twice in one night; must be some kind of record.”
She looked at him, suddenly very tired. “I don’t want to fight with you anymore. I know that sounds ridiculous because that’s what we do; it’s what we’ve always done. I just…can’t anymore Spike. Can’t we just pretend everything is ok for once?”
“I won’t tell if you won’t luv.”
She smiled wearily up at him and shocked him again by reaching out and grabbing his hand.
“Shake on it?”
He relished the feel of her skin against his; he had begun to believe he would never feel it again.
She released his hand, and hopped to the floor. “Which side do you want?”
He sighed, “Doesn’t make a sodding difference; ladies choice I guess.”
She made her way to the “bed” on the left and snuggled down on the foam and burrowed her way into the blankets. She had no problem taking the softer bed; he was a vampire after all. Cold floors shouldn’t bother him. She was asleep before he had even approached his makeshift bed. He stood for a moment staring down at her slumbering form.
*What I have ever done to deserve her?*
She had apologized to him, and taken the blunt of the blame for all the tension between them. She was amazing and totally crazy at the same time.
“Sleep tight Slayer…” he whispered as he lay down on his own bed and promptly fell asleep.
***
*It’s cold as death in here….duh it’s a crypt genius*
Buffy was shivering uncontrollably. She had a pile of blankets, but she was freezing. She never remembered it being this cold in here before.
*That’s because you always had Spike wrapped around you and you were creating enough heat to warm the North Pole*
She rolled away from the wall and glanced over at Spike’s sound asleep body. She was fighting herself again; all she wanted to do was crawl under the blankets with him and let him warm her up.
*His body is just as cold as the floor*
She shook her head at herself; she would have to stick it out. She had too much pride to go creeping back to him after she had made it clear she didn’t want him anymore.
*You can freeze your ass off the rest of the night, or suck it up and go over there*
She threw the blankets off and got to her feet; she padding quietly across the floor.
Spike had awakened the moment her feet hit the floor.
*What n’ the bloody hell is she doing?*
He didn’t react; he kept his eyes closed and feigned sleep. He could feel her getting closer, hell he could smell her.
Buffy sank to her knees besides Spike and wiggled her way under the blanket. She didn’t touch him; just lay beside him holding her breath.
Spike shifted, and his eyes opened. Even in the dark she could see how blue his eyes were; he didn’t say anything, just raised his arm in welcome.
Buffy let out an internal sigh and moved close to his body, letting him wrap his arm around her and hold her close. Even though his body was cold he was warming her. She didn’t know if it was the close contact or just her imagination running away with her again.
She let her head hit the pillow, and he continued to watch her. Their eyes remained in contact; neither one blinking as their watched each other. Both were waiting for reactions, but there weren’t any.
Buffy’s eyes fluttered shut, and Spike applied more pressure with his arms and she scooted closer laying a hand on his chest. His stomach was is knots. There was no way he could sleep now, not with her totally helpless in his arms. He wasn’t going to miss a minute.