He hadn’t woken when she had slipped out of his arms; he continued to sleep peacefully. It was eerie how dead he looked when he slept; so pale and unmoving, which wasn’t altogether strange since he was actually dead.
Buffy had left the crypt hurriedly trying to avoid an awkward early morning confrontation. She had swallowed her pride last night and gone to him despite her inner turmoil over the events of the past few weeks. She couldn’t have bared waking this morning to a mocking gaze and harsh words. He would do it too; taunt her for coming to him in need. He was evil; he couldn’t help it.
*Then why didn’t he say anything last night?*
She told herself to shut up and continued towards Giles’ apartment. She had to catch him before he left for school. School; she grimaced, not something she planned to revisit if she could help it.
She knocked on the door and waited a few moments until it opened. Giles stood tea in hand.
“Buffy what on earth are you doing here so early? And…” he looked confusedly at her. “When did you have time to cut your hair?”
She shifted nervously, “Giles I think you are going to need to sit down for this one.”
15 Minutes Later
Giles started laughing; he removed his glasses and wiped his eyes. “Right good one Buffy…you almost had me there for a moment.”
Buffy sat stonily in silence glaring at Giles. “Do you want me to tell you what happens at the end of this year? Who dies, or maybe what happens to the library and all of your precious books?”
Giles stopped, “You’re completely serious?”
“Gee way to state the obvious Giles.”
“Bloody hell.”
Buffy sighed, “So you kinda get why I came to you…I don’t want to screw up the future.”
Giles sank down in a chair astounded. “We’ve got to get you back before you change something.”
“Although…” Buffy began thoughtfully, “There are some things…”
“Don’t even suggest it Buffy; you could severely alter this world and there could be dire consequences.”
“God depressing much? Gee...so you don’t think preventing my mom from dying is purposeful? Or how about saving myself from having to give up my life for Dawn and save the world again?”
“Buffy stop! And who is Dawn?”
Buffy threw her hands in the air, “Isn’t there a spell that Willow can cast that can erase all memories of us? Like that Tabulu Ruso thingy?”
“I’m sorry Willow? A memory spell? And if I’m not mistaken you said us? WHO ELSE GOT SENT BACK WITH YOU?”
Buffy looked very uncomfortable; if it was possible Giles disliked Spike even more now than he did in the future. There was a loud banging on the door and prevented her from having to tell him. “Oh God…” Buffy groaned; no question who that was.
Giles rose, opened the door and came face to face with a slightly charred Spike, duster over head.
“Hey Rupes- invite would be nice!”
Giles went ape-shit. “BUFFY GRAB YOUR AX!!!”
Buffy jumped to her feet and moved beside Giles. She laid a hand on his shoulder trying to calm him. “Giles give him an invite.”
Giles looked repulsed, “Are you insane? It’s William the Bloody.”
“Not for long…”Spike grumbled impatiently.
“Giles…it isn’t the same Spike as in this time…well not completely.” She rolled her eyes catching Spike’s cocky grin. “Please…just trust me.”
Giles sighed and stepped away from the doorway. “Come in…Spike…” he spat out venomously.
Spike continued grinning walking through the doorway, and dropped his duster. “Bout sodding time!”
Giles drew back his arm and punched Spike square in the face; smiling in satisfaction at the forthcoming “CRUNCH!”
“Bloody hell!”
“OW!”
Giles was holding his hand, and Spike was rubbing his nose. “I take it you didn’t tell him Slayer?”
“Tell me what?”
Spike snapped his nose back into place, and wiped the blood from his face on his sleeve. “Oh, well in the future Buffy and I are engaged, she doesn’t try to kill me, I’m a chip head, and oh yeah…Slayer and I shag,” Spike paused for dramatic affect. “A-LOT.”
Buffy rolled her eyes and Spike chuckled at the appalled look on Giles’ face. “Nope, guess she didn’t tell you then.”
Giles looked at Buffy waiting for her to put the vampire in his place.
“Ok, first we were only engaged for like 2 hours, and that was because of Willow’s spell. I don’t try to kill him because he is harmless and it would be kinda like asking a three-legged dog to stand up…”
“Oi!”
She ignored Spike, but didn’t continue.
“Buffy?” Giles croaked.
Her face flushed bright red and she stared at the floor. “That’s all I have to say.”
Giles looked green, “Dear lord. What kind of world does this turn into?”
“I don’t think you have any right to judge…things change, circumstances change…”
“But SPIKE?”
Buffy rolled her eyes again as Giles went in search of his Scotch.
“If it makes you feel any better you don’t feel any differently about Spike in the future than you do now.”
“Thank God for that.” Giles skipped the mannerly approach and swallowed deeply directly from the bottle.
Spike gave Buffy a dark look and slumped down on the couch and began fiddling with the remote.
“What are we going to do Giles?”
“Hit the books; although we’ll have to be careful you aren’t seen by anyone.”
“I’m telling you Giles we need to get Willow in on this. There is a memory spell that can wipe our presence after you sent us home.”
Giles sighed, “Fine; Willow but no one else. And you still need to be cautious in case the spell proves inadequate.”
“Yer forgetting we’re going to need Red to get us back…no one else powerful enuff to bloody do it.” Spike still hadn’t removed his gaze from the television.
“Where are…”Giles coughed. “Where are you two staying?”
“Spike’s crypt…which you have no idea about...” she muttered to herself. “But if this is going to be an extended vacation I’m opting for something a bit more ….comfy.”
“Seemed pretty comfy to me…” Spike said slyly casting a pointed look at Buffy causing her to flush.
“Oh dear lord…”Giles closed his eyes and took another swig from the bottle.
“Knock it off spike; it wasn’t anything and you know it.”
*Liar*
Spike and Buffy locked gazes; neither one blinking. It had been something; she wasn’t going to admit it and he sure as hell wasn’t going to be a prat and have her deny it.
“Well I suppose the mansion would work…” Giles cast a tentative glance at Buffy gauging her reaction.
“NO!” She knew what Giles thought; that she was uncomfortable with Angel’s death when she actually was concerned with who was currently staying the in the mansion. She wasn’t about to share space with a deranged Angel and herself. That would be bad, very bad. It wasn’t the time to let that cat out of the bag yet. Besides, she’d already had to face the hurt and disappointed looks the first time around; she wasn’t going to do it again.
***
Buffy sat on the back outside on the front step head in hands; Giles was on the phone trying to get a hold of Willow. Went had everything gone to hell? Her life had never been perfect; heck most of it had been downright painful. Why was she doomed to repeat it, without being able to fix any of her mistakes?
*You could fix one right now dummy*
Spike, plaguing her thoughts as usual; she didn’t know when he had become her primary concern. He was always in the back of her head; reminding her that she was there, feeling and living. He had given her something to live for; not him of course, but the realization that she did have emotions. Most of them anger and disgust directed towards him.
He was right though, as usual. She wanted him because he made her feel, but she didn’t want him openly in her life. Doing that would make her a monster, and it would take any sense of normality out of her existence.
*When has anything ever been normal?*
“That bad huh?”
She didn’t glance up, but she knew he was standing behind her. He was staring down at the top of her head, his fingers itched to play with her hair, but he restrained himself.
“What now Spike?”
Spike frowned, and sank down on the step next to her; scooting back as far as he could avoiding the sunlight.
“You’re being a right bitch ya know.”
She glanced over at him; he was wearing a brooding expression and she couldn’t help but laugh.
“You keep looking like that Spike and I’m going to start calling you Angel.”
He growled and shoved her playfully. “I’m nothing like the poof and you know it luv.”
“No, you’re not.”
They sat in silence. Spike knew she was thinking about Angel; the love of her life. Stupid ponce had used a bloody weak excuse to run out on her, and somehow still managed to keep her pining for him. Wasn’t bleedin’ fair; he was the one in the middle of it. He was fighting with her, beside her, for her; pouring his heart out and loving her and he didn’t even have a sodding soul.
Buffy stared at the step. Spike was nothing like Angel; they both knew it, but she didn’t know if that was a bad thing anymore. Angel had never truly been there for her; he had loved her, and been a fighter in the beginning. But he was gone now, and had been; he only popped in when something major occurred and when he felt the need to butt in on her life. She hadn’t ever voiced the credit Spike deserved for sticking by her all this time; despite the fact she had shunned him at every turn. She was defensive whenever he was near her, because she was afraid of getting hurt. She wasn’t scared of him, when she was near him she felt like a 16 year old girl again. Whatever came out of her mouth was the exact opposite of what she was thinking, because she didn’t know how to tell him how she was feeling.
“I thought we weren’t going to fight anymore?”
“You started it pet.”
They stared at each other and then broke into sheepish smiles.
“You know,” she started jokingly. “I could just stake you in this time and save myself all this trouble in the future.”
He raised an eyebrow at her, “’N what’s the fun in that? ‘M not even here yet luv.”
“You will be.”
He looked slightly confused, and then he remembered. “Bugger…forgot all about that…”
She grinned at him, “I’m kinda looking forward to that; haven’t seen the ‘Big Bad’ in quite some time, I’m starting to forget what he was like.”
Spike scowled at her, and then softened as she laughed at him. “I’m still the ‘Big Bad’ pet; just because I choose to love you rather than hurt you.”
He sent her senses spinning; he could be so sensitive and normal sometimes. It got her in the gut every time he told her he loved her; she may not love him back, but she liked hearing him say it.
“Tell me again.”
“What?”
“You know ‘what’. Tell me again.”
“I love you Slayer.”
They stared at each other for what seemed liked forever. Spike didn’t deny what he felt, and would openly tell her anytime. He loved her, and he wasn’t ashamed; it had changed him, and he couldn’t pretend it wasn’t the reason he had changed.
“Buffy??” They both looked up suddenly; Willow was standing on the walk staring at her and Spike.
“Here we go again…” Spike muttered.