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Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry for the delay :D Big thanks to my new beta Sirc!!!

Don't forget to pop on over to my new Spuffy award site BIF Awards and nominate your favorite fics!!
“Ok…so bright flashy light and ‘poof’ two Buffys?”

“Yeah that’s the gist of it.”

Willow didn’t look as surprised as Giles had; she was too busy staring cautiously at Spike, and had been through most of the conversation.

“And…you want me to do a spell and send you back…and um…erase our memories? Not to be the party pooper but I CAN’T DO THAT.”

“The power is there Red; just a few years behind schedule.”

“We don’t have a choice Will; there is no one else. We can’t stay here! I can’t stay here; I can’t do this all again.”

“Um…all Buffy?”

Buffy sighed, “You really don’t want to know.”

Willow huffed up, “Well yeah, I kinda do Buffy! What about Oz? Is he really killing people? If not, then who is?”

“Buffy-“ Giles started and then stopped at her look.

“Does it really matter how the whole Oz/crazy killer deal gets sorted? If I tell you it can get fixed faster, minus you getting shot with a tranq dart.”

“It isn’t just the big things Buffy…and tranq dart?”

“It isn’t Oz…ok Will? I’ll leave it at that.”

Spike stood, realizing the conversation was going nowhere. “Look, obviously we need to stay out of the bloody way, and not bugger things up.” Spike looked pointedly at Buffy. “Which means no letting the cat out of the bleedin’ bag Slayer.”

“Hey!”

Giles cleared his throat, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I agree with Spike.”

“So what, we hide? Where? I can’t just sit and do nothing!”

***

“This is sooo not what I meant.” Buffy sat on the floor of Spike’s crypt surrounded by piles of hardcover books. Giles had driven Buffy and Spike back to the cemetery with four boxes of reading materials for her to look through.

“You set yourself up for that one luv.” Spike was decorating; he had been back and forth in the tunnels all afternoon bringing in supplies.

“Yeah well, it’s not fair; how come you get to be Mr. decorator?”

Spike grinned and turned the TV on, “Cause it’s my crypt, and Giles doesn’t trust me enough for sodding book duty.”

“How much is there for you to do anyway? Some candles and blood and its home sweet crypt.”

Spike raised an eyebrow, “You never complained before luv; ‘sides you’re the one who said you wanted it comfy.”

“Doesn’t feel comfy…” Buffy grumbled flipping through a book absently.

“That’s it!” Spike grabbed Buffy’s arm and dragged her to her feet.

“Watch it!”

He led her down the ladder to the basement of the crypt; Buffy froze, and her eyes widened. The basement had been transformed; it looked almost the same as it would in the future. The bed was back draped in black satin sheets, and candles were filtered throughout the room. A small wooden chest and a small tub were new.

“Oh…”

Spike shuffled, “Yeah well couldn’t have you sleeping on the floor again.”

She walked forward and ran her fingers along the edge of the tub. She stood before the chest and looked back at him questioningly. Spike nodded softly.

She opened the chest and let out a small gasp. Clothes…her clothes! They were folded neatly, there was bath stuff, makeup, and…

“…Mr. Gordo!”

“No one was home…day and all; my invite hasn’t been revoked yet, and I figured you might need some stuff…”

She was speechless; Spike could do all this for her, treat her like she was priceless, and he didn’t have a soul.

“Don’t get all emotional on me Slayer-I just didn’t feel like sleeping on the floor myself.”

“Ok.”

Spike’s eyes widened; she hadn’t told him to sod off, that he wasn’t sleeping in the same bed as her. Just the though of sleeping inches from her made his senses go wild.

*She’s just surprised is all; once she comes out of it you’ll be kicked to the curb as usual*

“Sides…after a few days I reckon you won’t be smelling very pretty; wouldn’t want anyone to catch wind of it.”

Buffy came out of her stupor and frowned at him. “Can’t it just be simple Spike?”

“What?”

Buffy wasn’t yelling or being sarcastic; her voice was tired and pained. “You are never either black or white; you’re both, your grey. One minute you love me…and treat me like, I’m special. The next you are defensive and all…”

“Evil?”

She was silent, and her head dropped.

“You know what I am Slayer. In all these years the demon hasn’t changed.”

“It has.” Her voice was soft but steady. “Maybe you can pretend you don’t see it, but I do. You always say it was the chip…but the only thing the chip did was stop you from killing; you changed on your own Spike. You spent a century with Drusilla killing and torturing; 5 years in Sunnydale and you are killing your own kind at the side of a Slayer.”

“’S maybe I’ve gone soft luv, or maybe I just got tired of it all. I was the ‘Big Bad’, William the Bloody; demons and vampires feared me…but why? I did it for her; it was all sodding for her. ‘N here you are confused about who I bloody well am? 5 years in Sunnydale pet, 5 years with you. Don’t you see it? You are the reason; you did this to me.”

The last words uttered were not an accusation; they seeped with sorrow and pride. She could only stand and stare at him.

“This,” he waved his hands around the room, “…means nuthin’ pet. I’m not a demon; I’m not a man, what am I Buffy? I’m yours that’s what I am! Until you dust me, or until you die; I’ll be here.”

“Why?” her face was full of confusion and pain. She didn’t understand how he could love her so completely; enough to spend a lifetime fighting by the side of a Slayer he’d sworn to kill.

“’Cause I love you; even though I’m not the ‘poof’ that should mean something. I said I’d stake Dru for you, ‘n you didn’t care. What will make you care? How about if I dust Peaches or Captain Cardboard? I would stake myself Buffy if I knew that you would care once I was gone.”

She held herself together; he was totally falling apart in front of her. He couldn’t control his emotions and kept shifting into his game face while ranting and pacing. She understood, she finally understood. The insults and the gibes he threw at her were to cover is own discomfort about her; he was scared of her reaction, scared of her rejection, so he took control of the situation and forced her to snap back at him.

“I’m not going to stake you Spike; I don’t think I ever could, just like I don’t think you could ever kill me.”

He whipped around, “I bloody hell wanted to! The first night in Sunnyhell I was going to, and then after that it was…it was like, ‘what a sodding shame, she is too much fun to kill.’ I’m a sodding idiot.”

“Maybe…” Buffy whispered taking a step closer to him. “But you’re my idiot.”





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