Chapter 3
“Wow, and you had no idea?”
Buffy shook her head at Willow’s question. “I had no idea that she was married, or that I would be applying for a job with her husband. I don’t think things could possibly get any weirder.”
Willow thought about it. “Do you think it’s a good idea for you to work for him?”
Buffy shrugged. “I already said I would. Besides, I don’t see any other options right now. This is probably the only job I would be able to get. It’s also a live-in job, so I would have to move into his house.”
Willow frowned. “Oh, you’re leaving already?”
“I’m sorry, Will. It doesn’t have to be so bad. His place is only about twenty minutes away. We’ll still get to see each other every now and then, and this way I’ll get to spend time with the niece that I knew nothing about. She’s absolutely gorgeous, too. I always knew Liz was likely to be the first one to have a kid. Emma looks so much like her, but she has William’s eyes,” Buffy explained.
“Well, I’ll miss having you around. I hope everything works out.”
Buffy silently agreed, wondering if she was doing the right thing.
* * * * *
“And this is where you will be staying. I hope it’s big enough for you.”
Buffy was stunned when she entered the room. She looked around in amazement. “Big enough? This one room is probably bigger than my whole apartment in Boston.”
Spike smiled. “I’ll just let you unpack your things. You’re probably hungry as well. The cook only works every other night, so I’ll just make a couple of sandwiches.”
She raised her eyebrows. “You have a cook?”
He nodded. “I mostly eat out or order in, but sometimes I’m in the mood for a home cooked meal. I’m afraid anything I make probably wouldn’t be very edible.”
Buffy laughed. “Right there with you. I’m probably the only person in this world that can burn water.”
“I don’t know about that, you may have some competition now,” he told her.
She smiled and was caught in his gaze. He really did have very beautiful eyes, but she quickly looked away when it became too intense.
Spike also felt awkward and cleared his throat. “I’ll just leave you to your things now.” He then turned and left the room, without another glance.
Buffy sighed and plopped down on the bed, again wondering what she got herself into.
* * * * *
Spike stared at the photograph and traced the image with his finger. The picture was taken a few months after he started dating Elizabeth. They were smiling for the camera and looked so happy. She was the first and only woman that he ever loved. No one understood him the way she did. He didn’t think anyone else ever could. He was ripped out of his thoughts by a knock on the door to his office. He placed the photo back into his drawer just as the door opened.
“Hey, I was wondering where you got off to. You’ve been in here for a while.”
Spike looked up at Buffy. He had to keep in mind that she wasn’t Elizabeth, no matter how alike they seemed. “I was just finishing up a few things. Did you need something?”
“I was thinking about taking Emma out for a while, maybe to the park or something. I was wondering if you wanted to join us.”
He shook his head. “You two can go. I have a lot more work to do.”
Buffy was concerned when he looked away and started messing with some papers on his desk. “Are you sure? It would only be for a few hours. I’m sure Emma would want you to come.”
Spike sighed and remained focused on what he was doing. “She’s a baby, Buffy. She won’t know if I’m there or not.” He finally looked at her and stood up, grabbing his coat off of the rack. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have somewhere that I need to be.” He walked out of the room, leaving her to stare after him in confusion.
Buffy didn’t know what his deal was. It seemed like he didn’t want to spend anytime with his daughter. She shrugged that thought away and figured it couldn’t be right. She probably just caught him at a bad time. That’s what she tried to convince herself, anyway.
* * * * *
Buffy was playing with Emma in the nursery once they returned from the park. She read the child a story and bounced her on her knee, which caused the little girl to giggle a few times. She stopped when she heard a noise come from downstairs, then got up and placed Emma into her crib.
“I’ll be right back, sweetie,” she said, then made her way out of the room and down the stairs. She noticed a light on in Spike’s office and figured that he was back. She knocked on the door and got no response, so she pushed it open and wasn’t prepared for the sight in front of her. Spike was passed out in his chair and he was a bit disheveled. She moved closer and could smell the scent of booze that was coming off of him. “Are you drunk?”
Spike glanced up and laughed when he saw her. “Buffy, I was just thinking about you. Did I tell you how bloody sexy you look today?”
She raised her eyebrows. Yeah, he was definitely drunk. “Are you okay?”
He laughed again. “Oh, I’m just peachy. I couldn’t be any better. How about you?”
Buffy ignored his last question. “Is this why you wouldn’t come out with us today? You were getting drunk at some bar?”
He shrugged. “I just had a few drinks, nothing to get your knickers in a twist about. It could probably loosen you up a bit. You seem a little uptight.”
“I’m uptight? Excuse me for thinking that taking care of your daughter was the most important thing to be doing. I know you hired me for that, but I didn’t think that you would just ignore her. I’ve been here for over a week now and you’ve done nothing to acknowledge that she even exists. You make it seem like you don’t even care about her.”
Anger formed on his features as he stood up, suddenly feeling sober. “You don’t know anything. She’s my flesh and blood; of course I care about her. I just have other things to deal with. I have to make a living to keep providing for her. Do I need to remind you that I’m only paying you to watch Emma? I’m not paying you for any of your lectures.”
Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. “If I don’t say something, then no one will. How is getting wasted supposed to provide for her? I know you’re better than that. What would Elizabeth think if she saw you like this?”
That did it and Spike got in her face. “You don’t get to talk about her. She was my wife. I probably even knew her better than you did. You haven’t been in contact with her for the last eight years. She told me about how upset she was when you left, not giving a damn about how it would make her feel. You don’t know anything about her.”
Buffy took a step back and realized that he was right. She should have called her sister in all that time, but she never did. She never got a chance to make things right with her. Now, she would never have that chance, but she could at least make things right with the man that Elizabeth loved. “I know I wasn’t there for her. I should have been, but I’m trying to make up for it now by being here for her daughter, and you. I don’t know much about your relationship, but I know Elizabeth doesn’t fall in love easily. That’s something we always had in common. If she gave you a chance, then you must be pretty special. I know that she would hate to see you like this. Drinking your sorrows away and not even paying attention to Emma? She wouldn’t want that.”
Spike clenched his fists at his side and turned away from her, heading back to his desk. “It’s getting late; you should head up to bed now.”
Buffy just shook her head, knowing that it would probably be hopeless to get through to him right now. She glanced at him one more time. “My sister picked a real winner,” she stated sarcastically, then walked out of the door.
Spike sighed and turned around to see that she was gone. He sat at his desk and ran his fingers through his hair. He knew that she was right, but it was hard for him to admit that. It was hard for him to do anything without Elizabeth around. He knew that it wasn’t fair to take out his anger on Buffy. She was only trying to help. He did love his daughter very much. It was just hard to be around her and not think about his wife, knowing what was sacrificed to bring her into the world. Not that he would ever regret the birth of his child. He only regretted the fact that Elizabeth wasn’t around to raise her with him. He just prayed that he was strong enough to change his actions. He worried that if he didn’t, Buffy might decide that he wasn’t worth it and quit. For some reason, he couldn’t bear the thought of her leaving.