Chapter 8
Buffy was drinking a cup of coffee when Spike came into the kitchen. She pretended that she was reading the paper, but was really avoiding his gaze after the kiss they shared the night before. He just left after it happened and told her to get some rest. She didn’t even know if it meant anything to him, but wasn’t about to be the first one to bring it up.
Spike let out a sigh and pushed the paper away from her face. “I know you’re not interested in the sports section.”
“I happen to find it very enlightening.”
He rolled his eyes and sat across from her. “We need to talk.”
Buffy raised her eyebrows. “Oh, now you want to talk? Well, maybe I’m not in a talking mood.” She tried to get up, but Spike grabbed her arm and made her sit back down.
“I’m sorry about last night. I was confused and didn’t know what I was doing.”
Buffy felt hurt at his words, but tried not to let it show. “I think that’s pretty obvious. Look, just forget about it. We’ll just go on with our lives and pretend that it never happened. I’m sure that’s what you want.” This time she did get up and headed into the living room.
Spike groaned and went after her. “That’s not what I want. I don’t regret kissing you. I regret doing it the way that I did. You were caught off guard and I shouldn’t have done that in your room. You’re bloody confusing, you know that?”
“How am I confusing? I haven’t done anything. You’re the one that kissed me first, so don’t make it seem like I did. If anyone’s confusing, I would say it’s you.”
Spike was starting to lose his patience. “Dammit, Elizabeth! You always do this.”
She gasped at his words and noticed his eyes widen.
“Bloody hell, I didn’t mean that.”
Buffy shook her head. “No, I think you did.” She then made her way upstairs, Spike right behind her.
“I’m sorry, Buffy. I don’t know why I said that,” he explained.
She turned to look at him, with tears that she didn’t even realize were in her eyes. “I’m not Elizabeth, Spike. I never will be, no matter how much you wish I was.”
Spike watched as she entered her room and closed the door. He rested his head against the wall and took in a deep breath. He couldn’t believe that he screwed up by calling her the wrong name. He didn’t even know where that came from and supposed it was because he used to have a lot of meaningless fights with his wife, arguing with Buffy must have reminded him of it. He then walked back downstairs and headed to his office, desperately needing a drink.
* * * * *
“I don’t think he meant anything by it, Buffy. He was just upset.”
She wiped her eyes and really wished the tears would stop, but it was a losing battle. “He seemed pretty serious, Will. Is that why he kissed me? Because I reminded him of Elizabeth? I actually thought he was starting to like me. I thought he was really starting to see me, but it’s still always her. I should have known. I’m not trying to replace Lizzie. I could never do that, but I can’t help the way I feel either.”
“You really like him, don’t you?”
Buffy shrugged. “I wasn’t planning on it. I just keep thinking about how different things would have been if he met me first. I know it’s stupid, he’s probably not really interested in me.”
Willow shook her head. “I don’t think that’s true. You told me about how he reacted when he saw Angel. It sounded like he was jealous to me.”
Buffy’s eyes brightened. “Do you think so? I never really thought about it.”
Willow nodded. “And I know you were jealous when he went out on that date. I just think you both need to talk about this. I don’t have all of the answers.”
Buffy agreed and gave her friend a hug. “Thanks, I feel a lot better. I should be getting back. He’s bound to wonder where I am by now.”
Willow nodded again and watched Buffy walk away. She really prayed that everything would work out.
* * * * *
Buffy entered the house and was confused when she heard voices. She headed straight for the living room and stopped when she noticed Spike in there with another woman. She tried to hide the hurt when he looked up at her.
“Hey, where have you been?” he wondered.
“Sorry, I was at Willow’s. I didn’t realize you had company. I’ll just go now,” she mumbled and was about to leave, but the woman’s voice stopped her.
“You must be Buffy. It’s great to finally meet you.”
She was stunned and wasn’t expecting that.
“I’m Tara, William’s sister. I’m sorry to just drop in like this unannounced.”
Buffy sighed in relief when she realized it was Spike’s sister, a sister that she never knew anything about. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Spike stood up. “Tara’s been away in London; this is the first time I’ve seen her in months.”
Buffy nodded in understanding.
Spike went to hug his sister. “It was good seeing you again, love.”
She returned his embrace. “I just had to make sure that you were okay. A phone call is never enough. I’ll be in town for a while if you need anything.”
Spike pulled away. “That’s good to know. Dad could use the company.”
“He really wants to see you. I’m not the only one that’s worried about you, William.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “Tell him to stop worrying, I’m doing fine. I’ll see you later.”
Tara nodded and glanced back at Buffy. “It was nice to meet you again. Good luck with him.”
Buffy smiled. “Thanks, I’ll need it.” She turned back to Spike once Tara was gone. “How come I never knew you had a sister?”
He shrugged. “I guess it never came up. Tara has been my sister since she was six-years-old. My parents realized they couldn’t have any more kids after me and always wanted another one, so they adopted her. I sometimes forget about that. She’s always just been my little sister.”
“Wow, that’s pretty amazing. She seems really nice.”
Spike agreed. “Yeah, she’s the best, but enough about that. I think we really need to talk, Buffy.”
She sighed and figured that it was about time they had a real conversation, hopefully she was ready for it.