Chapter Eleven
Night lift up the shades
let in the brilliant light of morning
habit steady there now
for I am weak and starving for mercy
sleep has left me alone
to carry the weight of unraveling where we went wrong
it's all I can do to hang on
to keep me from falling
into old familiar shoes
how stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
"Stupid"- Sarah McLachlan
She supposed a part of her should have expected the feeling of having his lips on hers, but it still came as a surprise. A pleasant surprise she should add. The thought to protest the intrusion upon her personal space never even crossed her mind, there were no horns or warnings going off in her head that said this was wrong. It felt right, so amazingly right.
There were no other words.
He had started off gentle, one hand on her cheek, almost as if he was testing the water. It wasn’t like she had much experience in the area. In real life, her only kiss had been with Angel, and that had been more like a nightmare. She had done it as a test, actually. She had wanted to prove to herself that she could actually be attracted to a guy outside her dreams. It didn’t work. The second her lips touched his, warnings sounded, and the hairs on the back of her neck stood straight up, telling her she was in close proximity with a vampire. Suddenly terrified, and more than disgusted, she had bit his lip causing him to vamp. It had only gotten worse after that.
He understood though, and Buffy had apologized the next day for biting him as hard as she did. He even admitted he should have told her he was a vampire. She didn’t bother to correct him, she was far too embarrassed as it was. Embarrassed and worried.
But ew. She didn’t want to think of Angel right now. Not when Spike was touching her.
This wasn’t like that. Her spider sense wasn’t even going off. She moved her lips tentatively against his, and he pulled her onto his lap to get better access. She wriggled around in her place, moving so she was straddling him, a movement that caused Spike to moan into her mouth. She had to get as close to him as she could, she wanted to be close to him, to feel his cold skin against hers.
He deepened the kiss, his tongue coming out to play with hers, his hands teasing the soft skin of her back. His hair was surprisingly soft she concluded as she buried her hands in his bleached locks, mussing what was once carefully slicked back. She imagined it would look better that way. Sexy.
She didn’t know how she could have possibly wanted the dreams over this. How could it even compare. The dreams were a glimpse of what could be. Here it was solid, real, electricity radiating between their bodies as the mysterious connection between them strengthened with each passing moment they had contact. She felt it, something pulling them together, showing them what they probably would have never realized had it never been.
It was raw emotion, raw passion pouring from them as they clung to the other desperate for the contact, needing it now that they knew what it could bring. How complete it made her feel.
Buffy pulled back, panting as she gasped for air. She noticed Spike pull for air as well despite the fact that he didn’t need it. The act made her feel oddly satisfied, that she could affect him like that.
Spike moved to her neck, pressing hot, wet kisses against her skin, before sucking gently on his mark, flicking it gently with his tongue. A wave of pleasure washed through her. Never had she felt anything like it before.
“Oh. . .”
“So soft. Beautiful.”
“Hmmm.. .” She couldn’t form coherent words. He was turning her into a pile of mush. Her body was on fire. It felt like he was everywhere, the spots where his fingers touched burning in their wake. She had no idea it could feel like this. That such a feeling could exist. That she could feel at home, complete, at peace from a simple touch.
It was terrifying.
And oh so wonderful.
But they had to stop. She feared getting lost in the touch, in the passion that only he could ignite within her. It felt too good, and it only strengthened her fear that perhaps this wasn’t real, that it was only some illusion cast by a spell. Nothing could feel this amazing, at least not for her. She had to know what this connection between them was caused by, even if it meant pulling away from his delicious touch.
“It’s late,” she squeaked suddenly, jerking back from him. She didn’t miss the disappointment that crossed his face before turning into understanding. It surprised her how deep the connection seemed to go, but then she realized that it really shouldn’t, they had know each other for quite a while now.
She herself had to bite her lip to keep from letting a whimper escape from her lips from the loss of his touch. Everything felt cold now. Cold and lonely. “I should go.”
“Tonight then?”
“Yeah,” she said with a smile. She squeezed his hand, and gave him another kiss goodbye. They had their dreams. Something to look forward to.
***
“Rupert Giles speaking.”
“Quentin Travers,” said the voice on the other end of the phone.
Giles quickly straightened in his chair, attention at full alert. He could feel the ache in his head begin to strengthen.
“How - how are you, Mr. Travers?”
“Just fine, Rupert. How is your Slayer?”
A small smirk graced his face. So typical. “She’s doing well. She improves with each passing day.”
“And you feel she is being completely honest with you?”
“Excuse me?” Quentin Travers always knew how to push the right buttons. Giles didn’t appreciate being accused of ignorance regarding his own charge. The information was appreciated. But dangling the fact he didn’t know something when he obviously should, put him on edge. Upset him in a way that he possibly didn’t understand. The interrogation of his Slayer’s doings a few months ago was bad enough, and now accusations.
But he did know Buffy wasn’t being completely honest with him. She never had. Always dodging one thing or another, omitting certain details in her obscure stories that she told at her rapid pace. Her skittish behavior only getting worse in the past few months, not to mention her rapid change of moods that Giles could never keep up with.
Quentin Travers had no need to know that, however.
“My Slayer is hiding nothing from me.”
“Are you absolutely certain?”
“If you have something you wish to discuss, then do so.”
“We have reason to believe that your Slayer, Buffy Summers, is well on her way to becoming mated.”
It was lucky Giles was sitting down. With a revelation like that he needed the support. “Are you certain?”
“Yes.”
Dear Lord. Why did Buffy always have to stand out? Why did she always have to get herself into these types of messes? “Who? Do you know?”
“We hoped you would have an idea Mr. Giles.”
“There is Angel.”
“The souled vampire? No.”
Giles didn’t press the issue, the Council would have likely known if it had been Angel. He was a unique case. “I’ll observe her.”
“Very well. The situation needs to be dealt with before it gets out of hand. Do I need to remind you once again that the balance is already destroyed? To do so more could have serious consequences.”
Giles quickly suppressed an uncharacteristic growl. This situation had been discussed in full many times over the summer. A very unpleasant subject that Giles wished had never been brought up. “I’m fully aware.”
“Good day, Rupert,” said Quentin, before hanging up the phone indicating the end of the conversation.
Good day indeed.
***
Xander eyed his cards, “Go fish,” he replied and Willow was forced to pick up a card. “Do you have a two?”
“No,”
Xander wagged his finger, “Nuh-uh,” he scolded. The game was no fun if you didn’t follow the rules.
Willow rolled her eyes. “Go fish. Any fives?”
Xander gave a disappointed sigh and handed her the card. He fished his brain for a topic of conversation before landing on something they both had in common. Well sort of. “Buffy’s looking good, ain’t she?”
Willow choked, and Xander patted her on the back. “What?”
“Buffy. Look. Good.” said Xander slowly. Sometimes his friend was just a little slow on the uptake. He
watched Willow fidget with her cards, and thought it was perhaps time he found himself a friend of the male gender to avoid this awkwardness. “If you think so. Do you have a queen?”
“Well duh,” retorted the boy, automatically handing her the card. “I think I’m going to try again with her. Did you see the way she shot down Dead boy the other day? I think that’s my cue, ya know.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” muttered Willow. “Ten?”
“Go fish.” Willow plucked a card. “And why not?”
“Nothing,” she replied. “It’s your turn.”
“You got the girlie scoop. Tell me,” demanded Xander, putting his cards down in front of him.
“Girlie scoop?”
“Willow!”
“Xander.”
Xander was beyond intrigued now. It was obvious the secret the red head was keeping was a doosey. Curiosity peaked, he crouched in front of her, prepared to beg if need be. “No secrets remember?”
It had turned into a promise or pact of sorts originating in First Grade after he had refused to tell Willow where he hid her Barbie and had to listen to her cry for a full two minutes before he caved. They agreed to hide nothing from each other since.
“It’s not my secret,” replied Willow sternly.
Xander stuck out his lower lip and gave her the puppy eyes that he knew his best friend couldn’t resist. “Puh-puh-puh-please.”
Willow crossed her arms, pursed her lips, and shook her head from side to side. “Pretty please with a cherry on top.”
He saw her smile sneak through her frown, and knew in a few minutes he would have it in the bag. And, just as he predicted, Willow spilled the cat right out of the bag, almost as if her very life depended on it.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Lyrics: Stupid - Sarah Mclachlan. Mucho thanks to my beta, basilio_the_cat, for the edit. And also a big thanks to those who continue to take the time to review. It means a lot, and hopefully all of you will enjoy this.