Chapter Seven
I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore
Before you take a swing
I wonder what are we fighting for
When I say out loud
I want to get out of this
I wonder is there anything
I'm going to miss
I wonder how it's going to be
“How’s it Gonna Be” - Third Eye Blind
It was a fairly simple move considering that Drusilla left, seemingly weeks ago. Slipped through the cracks without even a moments notice for the one person she had spent over a hundred years with. She had been angry with him, he remembered that. Something about being covered in sunshine, and the stars whispering bad things in her ears. She had said Miss Edith frowned on him.
Spike hadn’t thought she would actually leave, though. There were times when she would stay out all night, till just before dawn while he paced the floor wondering whether it would be worth the risk to go out and look for her, or if he would simply find dust in the wind. Always he would slam the door behind him as he strode into the night worried that he would find her broken but instead always finding her twirling amongst the trees or enjoying the screams of one of her victims. He could never stay angry with her, and so simply led her home gently to keep her from the dangerous sun, cursing inwardly all the way.
This was the first time he had not gone looking for her, only this time because he knew he had no desire to find her. He simply waited, if she wanted, Dru would come home on her own. He should be worried, it wasn’t often that Dru was left to fend for herself. She was still alive though, could feel her through the faint connection, and so for now he had no reason to feel guilty. She had chosen to leave in a huff, he hadn’t kicked her out, didn’t even leave, he wasn’t responsible. She wasn’t his responsibility anymore.
Spike had done his fair share, and in return got nothing.
He waited anyway. A few weeks, maybe a month, he wasn’t really sure, the counting drove him round the bend. All he really wanted to do his was hop into the car and drive until he found his Slayer. But he waited because it was the right thing to do. Drusilla may not have done anything for him recently, but she had given him the most important thing of all: life. Without her, he would have died long ago, a pathetic man who did nothing but write bloody awful poetry. Without her, he would have never come across his sweet Golden Girl.
For years he had been in love with his Dark Princess, devoting his unlife to taking care of her every desire, but that was no longer so. Spike didn’t know when the change happened, when his feelings for her shifted from pure love and devotion to simple obligation, but they had. And he couldn’t force himself to care. A part of him would always love Drusilla, would always care for her, but he knew now what he thought was soul mates was a mere path to reaching his own destiny. Their time had come to an end. He had realized that from the very first dream, Drusilla simply had the courage to act on it first.
He had waited, but he was done with that now. He needed answers, something to explain the changes in the past year, why he was having these dreams and why they affected him so. And he wanted to find Buffy, see her face, touch her skin, and he wanted to do it in reality. And to do that he would have to go out and find the answers, search for the information he had avoided trying to find. And so he closed the door to the run down house behind him, saying good bye to Drusilla and the life of death and bloodshed that he had so eagerly been a part of just a few months ago. It was time to start anew.
***
L.A, was great and all, the lack of a hellmouth being one very obvious reason why, but a part of her had seriously missed Sunnydale. She had missed her mom, her friends, even Giles and his stuffy British attitude. It surprised her how much things had changed since she had first arrived here last September. Sure she was thrust back into the slaying against her will, but even that turned out okay in the end seeing as she acquired some cool friends, and of course, William. She still wished for the normal life in the normal town, but she had also accepted her duty , embracing it with open arms. There was no escaping it.
Her sacred duty had brought her William. That alone made it worth it.
She had been a bit freaked out when the fact that she had died finally sunk in. She had died, as in, she been no longer of the living. That was huge even if it had been only for a minute. Everything with William and his freaky dream bite had happened so fast that she had glossed over the Master part of the evening and straight to the bitey part.
It had eventually hit her though, full force while she was in the grove with William and they had taken to casually discussing something that had to do with kittens when somehow her thoughts took a dark turn and the horrible fact of her brief, but very real death hit her full force. After completely embarrassing herself by sobbing like a baby in his arms, they had decided that ignoring what had happened that night wasn’t doing anyone much good and so they started to talk it out, mostly William listening as she poured her heart out about her most recent death to her worries about dying young and everything she would never get to do. She could tell that often William had to bite his tongue to keep from blurting his thoughts, but he had been a good listener, whispering reassuring words in all the right places. Buffy wasn’t quite sure she would have been able to survive the summer if it hadn’t been for him. He was her rock.
“Hey Buffy, you’re back,” announced Willow, spotting her in the courtyard.
“Yup, yesterday afternoon. Dad dropped me off,” said Buffy happily, her eyes never quite meeting Willow’s. Even after two months she still hadn’t quite forgotten her friends semi-betrayal. “So how was your summer?”
“Boring, very slow, very few vampires,” supplied Xander.
“Oh see, Giles was wrong,” said Buffy.
“There’s one for the record books.”
“So, what about you? How was your summer? Did you slay anything?” Xander questioned rapidly.
“No. Uh, just hung out, partied some, shopping was also a major theme. Got shoes, lots of cool shoes,” said Buffy, nodding some as she did so, remembering how her father had basically bribed with money and his credit cards so she would be out of the house so he could do whatever he did that Buffy didn’t like to mention. Being blissfully unaware, or pretending to be, was of the good.
“A necessary accessary,” agreed Willow.
Xander’s attention had turned to Buffy’s hair, a dreamy look gracing his face. A look that made Buffy feel very uncomfortable. She had hoped Xander would have gotten over his crush by now. After all, she made it perfectly clear that she wasn’t interested last Spring. At least she hoped she had. “I like your hair.” Buffy replied with a girlish giggle not sure how else to react, before deciding a change of subject was in order. “So, how did you guys fare? Did you have any fun without me?”
“No.”
“Yes!”
“What were you doing, Wills?” questioned Xander with a raised brow. “Uh, our summer was kinda yawn worthy. Our biggest excitement was burying the Master.”
“That's right, you missed it.” Willow added. “Giles buried the bones and we poured holy water and we got to wear robes.”
“Very intense. You shoulda been.”
“Ugh, no thank you,” said Buffy, scrunching her nose. The farther away she was from the Master or his bones the better.
“So, have you been sleeping well?” Willow asked suddenly with a vague attempt to keep her tone casual.
“You weren’t sleeping?” asked a concerned Xander.
“No, I was sleeping,” assured Buffy. “Very well in fact. Lot’s of nice dreams.”
Perhaps Willow would get the point then.
“Dreams are meaningful.”
“Me and Buffy just had a discussion on that,” said the red head. Buffy glared at her. What the hell was she doing?
“Really?” questioned Xander, intrigued. “Did it involve any nakedness?”
Buffy gave the boy a disgusted look, who in turn just shrugged innocently. Willow glanced nervously at Buffy. “We were trying to analyze a dream I had. She thought the same thing. But dreams are just dreams, I think.”
“Slayer dreams so prove that theory wrong.”
“You gotta have the power.”
“Which I do. Go me,” cheered Buffy, punching the air.
“I still go with the theory that all dreams are with the meaningful,” stated Xander.
“Go us. Finding the hidden meaning behind those pesky night visions,” said Buffy, slapping Xander’s hand in a high five. Not wanting to prolong the discussion more than she had to and risk the spilling of her secret, the blonde decided that it was probably time that she had hightailed it out of there. “Well, I’m gonna hit the library.”
“Library?”
“Yeah. You know. Giles, he’s my watcher. I should check in.” And make with the research added the Slayer silently as she bid her friends goodbye.
***
It was very difficult to find the information she needed with Giles constantly hanging in the library. Didn’t he have anything better to do? He happened to be very observant when it came to his books and the touching of. Checking out said books was probably not an option. Which left stealing, and Buffy was under the impression that she already had a big enough track record that she didn’t need to add that particular offense to it.
She would have to think about it. Maybe come up with a crafty plan. For now she had decided that it was time to make with the normal, and hang out with her friends at the Bronze.
She just had to get rid of her stalker first.
“Hi,” she said to the spot where she was pretty sure Angel was hiding.
“Hi,” greeted the vampire as he stepped from the shadows.
Buffy raised her eyebrow. “So, is there danger at the Bronze? Should I beware?”
“I can't help thinking I've done something to make you angry. And that bothers me more than I'd like,” Angel admitted.
“I'm not angry.” Annoyed maybe. “I don't know where that comes from.”
“What are you afraid of? Me? Us?”
Us? This guy must think an awful lot of himself. Sure, he’s fairly good looking, no where near William, but fair enough. Nice as well, a little on the broody side, but he was nice. Could do with the less of the cryptic, either tell the full story or don’t bother telling the beginning was her motto. But an us? That didn’t exist. And Buffy thought she had been pretty clear on that. Maybe she was turning soft?
Perhaps it was time to fix that.
“Could you contemplate getting over yourself for a second? There's no 'us'. Look, Angel, I'm sorry if I was supposed to spend the summer mooning over you, but I didn't.”
There nice and firm, good for the necessary clearing of messages into thick skulls. Angel however was giving her an odd look, almost as if she had grown a second head.
“What? Is there something on my face?” she patted. Nothing there from what she could tell.
“Were you hanging with any vampires in L.A.?” he asked suddenly.
“I slayed some, if that’s what you mean.” Okay. Make with the crazy.
“No. Not slaying.” He looked confused as he glanced at her, almost as if he was trying to figure out some mystery. “Did you spend any time with anyone in particular? Anyone named Spike?”
“Ah, no, why would I do that?” retorted the Slayer. Especially if he had a name like Spike. That just screamed I’m a punk, in a gang, and a killer. “Oh my god are you smelling me?”
“It’s just. .”
Buffy took a step back and quickly cut him off. She really did not want to hear any sort of explanation he may or may not have. “It’s disgusting is what it is. Don’t do it again.” She gave him a pointed look, and made to walk into the Bronze, leaving the souled Vampire behind her. The nerve of him. Smelling her. Where does he have the right.
***
Welcome to Sunnydale.
Spike slammed on his breaks. Bingo. Home of the active Hellmouth, and from the information he had gathered from two careless vampires, the home of the Slayer, his Slayer. “Home. Sweet. Home.” He smirked and raised a cigarette to his lips. Things were about to get interesting and he had a front row seat. He couldn’t wait.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Lyrics: How’s it Gonna Be - Third Eye Blind. Some dialogue from the episode 2x01 - When She was Bad written and directed by Joss Whedon; some out of the original context. Thanks to basilio_the_cat for the edit and also thanks to everyone who reviewed.