Looking over at William, she found him grim, his eyes focused on the road before him, one hand gripping the steering wheel, the other by his side. Her heart went out to him, if she was worried, and it was her stepfather, she couldn’t imagine what it was like for him, it being his real father and having already lost his mother to cancer when he was a boy.
Reaching out, Buffy took William’s hand that rested by him in her hand and squeezed. He squeezed back, but said nothing, eyes still trained on the road before him.
When they were just about in Sunnydale, Joyce rang to inform them Giles was in stable condition, sleeping now, and they thought perhaps he didn’t have a heart attack, but that it was something else. They were running tests to be sure. She informed them they had sent her home and that they should meet her there.
William was hesitant about it, but Buffy assured him there was nothing he could do if his father was sleeping and that he could use some rest himself before he saw Giles. William reluctantly agreed and took them to their home in Sunnydale.
Buffy helped him carry their things in the house and Joyce greeted them, clearly worn out, with open arms.
She gave William a lingering hug in which William lost it, sobbing in his stepmother’s arms. Buffy’s heart ached for him and more than anything; she wanted to ease his troubled mind. She just didn’t know how. All she knew was that the man she loved more than anything was hurting and she felt helpless.
“He’s going to be fine, William,” Joyce assured him in her maternal way. “They think he has a virus in his heart. It’s called pericarditis. It feels like a heart attack, but it’s just like a cold in the heart that eventually goes away. It’s nothing serious.”
“What does he have to do if that’s it?” William asked mournfully.
“Take Ibuprofen for the pain.”
“That’s it?” Buffy jumped in.
Joyce nodded, “That’s it.”
“When will they know?” William asked, pulling back from Joyce and wiping at his eyes.
“Tomorrow morning I imagine. He’s fine, William. He’s just resting now.”
“How did it happen?”
“Yesterday he kept thinking he had indigestion, which was odd since he never had that before, and he said he felt winded,” Joyce explained. “Then earlier this evening he said he had chest pains and it had gotten pretty bad. I think worrying made it worse and we took him in. I apologize for calling you as I did until I knew more,” Joyce said regretfully, brushing some hair from William’s face.
“No, Mom, I’m glad you called. We should be here,” William assured her. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine, honey,” Joyce nodded, “Just…I think I need some rest now myself.”
“We’ll lock up, Mom,” Buffy offered. “Go on to bed.”
“Thanks honey,” Joyce smiled. “It’s so good to see you both under the same roof again!”
Buffy and William exchanged nervous grins.
“Goodnight, you two. See you both in the morning,” Joyce said wearily and headed up to bed.
William locked up the front door while Buffy went to the back door and made sure it was locked up. When she came out into the kitchen, she found William standing there, waiting for her.
“Thanks for coming with me,” he told her.
“Of course I was going to come. I consider your dad to my dad. Plus…Mom, ya know?”
William nodded, “Buffy, about earlier—“
Buffy shook her head, “Water under the bridge, okay? It’s not important now.”
He nodded, “Okay.”
“I’m heading up to bed. You coming?”
“In a minute.”
Nodding, Buffy went by him, but didn’t get very far. William grabbed her arm and tugged her into his arms, kissing her voraciously.
“I want you so much,” he told her raggedly. “I can’t stop, Buffy, God help me, I can’t stop…” and he devoured her mouth once more.
Buffy moaned into his kiss, pulling at him, trying to get him even closer than he was. “William—“
”Ssshhh,” he hushed, “Just… please…” he murmured and lifted her onto the kitchen table behind her. “Please let me make love to you…” he begged, sliding his hands up the long skirt she wore.
It was wrong; somewhere in the back of Buffy’s mind she knew that this was wrong. They had things to work out before this. Making love in the kitchen on the table wasn’t going to make things right, it wasn’t going to make things better. This wasn’t about making love, it was about life and death…it was about feeling alive in the face of death. They’d had a scare that night and in fact, they were still scared. Emotions were high and this…this was just a byproduct of all that.
“William…” she murmured. “We have to stop.”
He froze, pulling back only slightly. His eyes widened and he stepped away, running a hand through his hair. “Christ!” He looked at her, “I’m sorry, Buffy,” he said adamantly. “I keep…doing this…I just can’t…” he shook his head again.
“Can’t what?”
“I can’t help myself when it comes to you! I turn into this horny teenager around you…it’s disgusting.”
“No, William, it’s not,” she told him, jumping down from the table and going to him, taking him in her arms. “It’s flattering to know you want me that much.”
“Buffy, you don’t even know,” he said hoarsely, burying his face in her neck. “I love you so much… I feel like it’s bigger than I am and it’s just going to …consume me whole. I can’t stop it, Buffy. I’ve tried and I just can’t…”
“I don’t want you to stop,” Buffy whispered.
He pulled back, studying her imploringly. “What does that mean?”
“What about Lilah?”
William frowned, “She’s…she wants me, but I can’t…she’s not for me and she knows I’m in love with another. She keeps saying she can make me forget but I…I don’t want to, and how could I? You’re…you’re everything to me.”
“Have you…?” she trailed off nervously, afraid of his answer.
“Have I…?” he appeared definitely confused.
“Slept with her.”
William’s eyes widened. “God no! No way in hell. Did you think --?”
“Well,” Buffy started, figuring out how to put it as delicately as possible. “Yeah.”
William shook his head emphatically. “No. I never…I couldn’t. She…kissed me once.”
Jealousy like she’d never known before flared inside Buffy and she shook her head, “I don’t want to know,” and she started off.
Grabbing her, William brought her into his arms, her back to his front and wrapped his arms around her. “You asked, pet, remember?”
“Yeah, I know,” Buffy said, struggling a bit to get out of his grasp though not really struggling. “But now I don’t want to know.”
“Let me finish.”
”Will—“
“She kissed me, I didn’t kiss her. Know what I was thinking of the whole time?” he whispered, his breath fanning across her neck like a warm breeze.
”Wh-what?” she was turning to goo in his arms, and really, she didn’t care.
“You,” he murmured, nuzzling her neck. “How you tasted, your scent…how you felt in my arms…. it was you, Buffy. It’s always been you.”
“H-has it?”
“Yes,” he breathed, biting down on her earlobe and tugging on it with his teeth. “That summer we spent together?”
”Y-yeah?”
“I fell in love with you then, Buffy.”
“Really?”
“Yes. You ruined me for other women, you know.”
A surge of womanly pride coursed through Buffy. “Good,” she said triumphantly.
Chuckling, he spun her around and kissed her hungrily. Breaking the kiss, he pressed his forehead to hers. “You better go now.”
“What do you mean?”
“If you don’t go up to bed like a good girl, I might not be a good boy and keep my hands to myself.”
She nodded in agreement reluctantly. “But we…we have a lot to discuss, right?”
“Yes, we do. The first order of business my apology for being such a jackass.”
“That works for me,” she said grinning.
After kissing her again, he nudged her away. “Go, now, kitten.”
”Will?”
“Yes, my love?”
“Would it be um, bad if you slept in my bed with me tonight?”
His eyes darkened with unrestrained lust. “Yes, it would. Especially since Mom doesn’t know yet.”
“Right, Okay. Night—“ and she set off.
His arms came around her a second later, “But I’m willing to take the chance,” he said into her ear and she giggled uncontrollably.
“You have to behave though,” she admonished him, spinning in his arms and waving a finger at him.
He grinned, “I’ll try my best, luv.”
“There is no try. Only do.”
“What are you Yoda now?”
She giggled, “Maybe.”
“Come on, baby. Let’s get some rest,” William said, tugging on her hand and leading them up to her bedroom.