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“Always said I would know where to find love,
Always thought I’d be ready and strong enough,
But some times I just felt I could give up.
But you came and changed my whole world now,
I’m somewhere I’ve never been before.
Now I see, what love means.

It’s so unbelievable,
And I don’t want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you’ve always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it’s so unbelievable to finally be in love,
Somewhere I never thought I’d be.

In my heart, in my head it’s so clear now,
Hold my hand, you’ve got nothing to fear now,
I was lost and you’ve rescued me some how.
I’m alive, I’m in love you complete me,
And I’ve never been here before.
Now I see, what love means.

When I think of what I have,
And this chance I nearly lost,
I can’t help but break down, and cry.
Now I see, what love means.”


“Unbelievable” by “Craig David”


Although Buffy fell asleep in the comfort of Spike’s arms within in instant, she didn’t stay that way for long. She woke up, her thoughts clouding her mind. She was still lying close to Spike, her head resting on his shoulder, and her arm placed around his waist, while his arm was protectively settled on her waist, pulling her even closer.


She pulled up to stare at his sleeping face for a moment, taking in every detail.


‘What have I got myself into,’ she wondered as she ran her fingers down his cheek bone, tracing an imaginary line to his lips. This is what she wanted… so badly. Someone who would take care of her, but not overprotect her like a child. Someone to be there for her, whenever she needed a shoulder to cry on… and someone to love her, unconditionally whether she be human, demon, the slayer, or just a regular girl. This was what she wanted, so why did she feel so scared? She tried to pinpoint her exact reasons for her fearful thoughts, and was surprised by what came to her. She wasn’t scared of Spike, or his feelings for her, well, not anymore… she did admit that the thought of him loving her had terrified her once before… but now she found it… relaxing… good… whenever she thought of Spike loving her there was only goodness involved. It wasn’t Spike she was scared of… she was scared of herself. Not her feelings for him exactly, but her capability to love. If she couldn’t love this man in front of her, who happened to be gorgeous, who, despite being a vampire, was a good man, who had such a big heart… and who was so clearly head over heels in love with her, so extraordinarily in love…the great love… the once in a lifetime kind of love… then who could she love?


‘But then what is love… exactly?’ She tried to examine what love was, what she considered love to be.


‘Well, I guess you have to be attracted to them… you always want to be with them, and a minute apart feels like much too long… you care about what happens to them and what’s going on in their lives... you know you can count on them for… everything… ooohhh, I know, when you get that tingly feeling right down in your tummy when you see them… or think about them… when you can trust them completely…when you can’t imagine living without them in your life …when…’ she broke off… a thought just occurring to her…


As she was thinking about all the things that meant “love” to her. She couldn’t help but realize that she’d just described exactly how she was feeling towards Spike…


‘Maybe… maybe I... maybe I do love Spike…’


For one thing she was definitely attracted to him… she always liked being around him, and at the moment, she didn’t feel like spending even 30 seconds away from him… of course she cared about how he was feeling, and what was happening in his life… or unlife rather, but… although she didn’t really know that much about him, other than the obvious “Big Bad, Master Vampire, killed 2 slayers” and the rest of the stuff that everyone else knew. She didn’t know any of the personal things in his life… the things that he didn’t brag about, the things that you only share with that one special person…but she still cared about him, and she promised to fix that problem. A few weeks ago she would never have believed it possible that she could admit, even to herself that she felt butterflies when she saw Spike, but now she couldn’t deny that she had tingly feelings fluttering inside her when she woke up in his arms… and she knew she could trust him with not only her life, but the lives of her sister and her friends. Yeah, she knew Spike and her friends weren’t exactly buddies, but she knew if push came to shove, she could trust that Spike would protect her friends.


‘Wow… maybe I… I do… I never even thought about it like this… yesterday I just assumed that I didn’t, because I didn’t think I could… not so soon after letting him into my life, I didn’t think I could fall so soon… or maybe it isn’t so soon… but I didn’t even like him after I came back, I was just with him because I wanted to feel… anything… or maybe I just wanted to feel something… with Spike… and not just anyone…maybe I’ve always…’


“I love Spike,” she whispered softly in wonder.


She surprised herself with this deep revelation, and all of a sudden, she didn’t feel so scared anymore. It was like, finally realizing that she was in love with him, was the most freeing thing she ever remembered. She felt this whole weight suddenly lift off her shoulders, she felt giddy, and happy, and ecstatic, and just wanted to laugh! It felt so good. So… right.


“I love you, Spike,” she whispered delicately against his ear, knowing that somewhere in his subconscious he could hear her.
This did bring her back to the pressing matters at hand though, namely, the big battle against the first evil. She was still stumped as to how they were going to win… sure she had her Scythe, and she had this new amulet thingy, but no one really knew if it was going to be any help at all, or what it would do. Which brought her back to another worry that was racing through her mind. She looked at Spike tenderly, and pressed a light kiss to his cheek, careful not to wake him up. She gently sat up and began to pace the floor of her basement.


Although she trusted his word when he said he wouldn’t let it hurt him, she couldn’t help the doubt in her mind surface. ‘What if it happens suddenly, before any of us is aware in time to help? What if he…’ “No! No Buffy, you can’t let yourself think like that. No more scaredy-cat Buffy… I’m gonna be brave Buffy, and act like the Slayer I’m supposed to be,” she said softly with firm conviction in her voice. “I’m not gonna let anything happen to him,” she repeated firmly again. “I’m not… I can’t…”


She looked over to him, noticing how beautiful and peaceful he looked when he slept, taking an occasional breath that he did not need.


“We’re gonna get through this, we’re gonna work this out…” she whispered as she walked closer to him, kneeling down beside the bed, caressing his cheek tenderly with her hand. “I love you, and I don’t know if I can or not,” she said, wiping a tear away with one hand. “But I’m gonna try my hardest to be everything you deserve and more, when we’re through with this, because we’re going to win... we have to,” she finished softly.
She was about to place another soft kiss to his lips when she heard a voice behind her that sent a chill up her spine.


“Are you so sure about that?”


She didn’t have to turn around to know it was the voice of Caleb…but she knew he was dead, she had definitely put an end to him… so there was only one other thing it could be…


The First…





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