“Yes,” Spike answered for the millionth time. “I took a drag and there she was.”
“And she just kissed you?”
Spike sighed. “For the hundredth time, this is what happened.”
Flashback
“You know I was never good at realizing what I had until it was gone. How old is your girl?”
Spike gulped, “Twenty-five.”
“You love her?”
“Very much.”
“Like you did me? Or more?”
“Isabel, I don’t want to answer that.”
“Why not?”
“Cause the way I love Buffy is much different.”
She laughed nervously, “I’m sorry.” She shook her head, staring off at the dumpster.
Silence fell and Spike wasn’t sure what to do. He was horrible at things like this. Did he stay and once more offer his condolences about her husband or did he go?
“She make you feel young?”
Spike chuckled easily. “Sometimes.”
“Did I make you feel young? Or old?”
“Young, I guess. But I was young then--”
“You’re still young, William. At least younger than me.”
He nodded slowly, feeling incredibly uncomfortable. He itched to light another cigarette, but that would just keep him where he was longer. It was when he started to excuse himself and inch toward the door that he realized she’d started crying.
Now he hated to see a woman cry, always had a hard time with it. When Buffy cried, his heart broke and he wanted to slay any and all dragons that plagued her, even if he knew he couldn’t. And even if Isabel was his past, she was still an important part of his past, and he didn’t want to see her cry.
Awkwardly, he placed a hand on her arm and she turned to him, flinging herself in his arms. He was stiff as a board, and she cried into him.
“William, I never got the chance to tell you how sorry I was for the way I ended things.”
“Isabel, let it go now. It’s the past. I moved on.”
“I let you think I didn’t really love you, but I did, William, I did. I wanted to tell you…and now you’re getting married!”
“Please, just let it go, it’s all right.”
And then she kissed him full on the lips, stunning the hell out of him in such a way that he was unable to move. He froze completely. All he could as her lips moved over his unmoving lips was Is she really doing that? Is this really happening? What the hell is she doing? What the hell is going on?
“What the fuck is this?” Faith. Shit.
Spike pushed Isabel off him and faced Faith. “Faith--” he started.
“Who the hell are you?” Faith demanded of Isabel.
“She’s--” Spike started to say “no one” but then, Isabel answered.
“I’m Isabel, his ex,” the older woman answered stiffly.
Faith’s eyes widened. “I know about you. The married chick, right?”
“Not any longer. My husband is dead.”
“Isn’t that interesting?” Faith mused, turning to glare at Spike. “Good job, asshole. Buffy just saw you mackin’ on your ex.”
“Sh-she saw--?” Oh God.
“Yeah, she saw,’” and with that she spun around and went back inside. Spike lunged for the door to follow and Isabel grabbed his arm.
“Forgive me,” she whispered.
“Isabel, you know…for a long time I rued the day I lost you, but you know what? I never realized how fucking selfish you were. It’s always about what you can’t have isn’t it? Always about what you want to make yourself feel better because you can’t stand to be alone. It’s not about me. I’m just unavailable now, that’s what its all about. Go find your next boy toy, cause baby, I ain’t him.” And he followed after Faith to find Buffy leaving, his focus being to get to her when Hank punched him.
End Flashback
Hank grumbled something in the backseat.
“I know, it sounds far-fetched, but it’s true. I haven’t seen the woman in years—two decades! And then this weekend, at my rehearsal dinner…” Spike shook his head. “I can’t even imagine what Buffy is going through right now.” He paused. “Scratch that, I can. When we first started seeing each other, I saw some bloke dancing with her one night and that was actually the first –and last—time we split. I jumped to conclusions and …Fuck!”
“You all right?” Wesley asked from the backseat.
“No, I’m bloody not! My fiancé just caught me in a compromising position two days before our wedding. How the fuck do you think I am?” Spike demanded.
“Not well.”
“Drink it,” Faith demanded, putting the shot of tequila right in front of Buffy’s nose.
“I can’t,” Buffy said weakly, looking up at her friend with red eyes.
“Why not?”
Buffy swallowed, “There’s a possibility I could be pregnant.”
Willow, Faith and Anya all at once sputtered, “What?!”
Buffy nodded mournfully. Anya shook her head, Willow patted Buffy’s back and Faith downed the shot, muttering “Hell.”
They sat then, in a dark crowded bar, staring at the walls or the floor.
“Talk about a kill joy,” Anya muttered.
”Does William know?” Willow asked and nudged her friend in the ribs for the comment.
Buffy shook her head, “No. And I don’t even know for sure yet. I was too afraid to take the test…” she sniffled. “What if I’m pregnant and Spike wants to go back to Isabel? What if he’s already with her?”
“He’s not, Buffy,” Willow told her reassuringly. “You should talk to him. You have to talk to him and sort this out.”
Buffy nodded. “I do. I know. I’m just afraid, ya know? I mean…what if he is with her and he didn’t know how to tell me?” She started to cry again. “I don’t want to hear him tell me he doesn’t love me! She was his first love…”
“And you’re his last love,” Willow affirmed. “Come on, let’s get you to your parents, okay?”
Nodding mutely, Buffy stood and grabbed her purse. Faith sighed heavily and started for the door, Anya, Willow and Buffy in tow.
Trudging up to the house, Buffy wrapped her arms about herself feeling as though this was the weirdest night she’d ever had.
Walking inside, she found Joyce on the couch, waiting for her. “Honey,” Joyce murmured, and stood, opening her arms.
Buffy ran into them, hugging her mother and sobbing yet again. “Mommy, he…he wouldn’t do that, would he?”
“He says no. Course that was after your father hit him.”
Buffy pulled back. “Dad hit him?”
Joyce nodded, frowning. “’Fraid so. He’ll have a shiner for the wedding.”
“If there is a wedding,” Buffy muttered and plopped herself on the couch, staring forlornly across the room.
“Buffy, I believe him,” Joyce said, sitting down next to her.
Buffy looked up at her. “You do?”
“I do.”
“Do you really believe him, or do you just want to believe him?”
“You sound like your father,” Joyce said, smiling.
Buffy attempted a smile.
“So why didn’t you stick around and question him yourself to see if you believed him?”
“That’s what I’d like to know too.”
Buffy and Joyce’s head swerved to find Spike standing there, looking worn out and stressed, and Hank was behind him. Buffy immediately welled up in tears and Spike rushed to her, knelt before her and gathered her up in his arms.