The moonlight coming in from between the curtains allowed Liam to see the tears in her eyes, and he brushed them away with his thumb. "Buffy, baby, I'm sorry about tonight. I'm just so stressed with work, and it's making me edgy."
"I know, but you didn't have to yell at us like that," Buffy replied, her tone soft and tinged with sadness.
"I'm sorry. I really am. I guess part of that, well, I never really got over what happened with William and Eve."
"I don't think anything did happen between then," Buffy said, finally meeting her husband's eyes.
Liam abruptly dropped his hand away from her. "What makes you say that? Has he talked about it?"
"No, I just don't think he did. He doesn't act like someone who would try to seduce his father's wife." Buffy thought it would be for the best if she didn't explain to Liam that it had been William's responses to her advances which had lead her to that conclusion.
"I want to think that," Liam said with a sigh. "It's just William has so much anger towards me, and I don't know why. I guess Darla must've fed him all sorts of lies over the years. I've tried really hard to be a good father to him, but he shuts me down at every turn, and it's frustrating. We were close when he was a little boy, and now I don't know how to relate to him anymore. Sometimes it's like he does things just to hurt me, which is why I'm not sure what to believe when it comes to everything with Eve."
Buffy rolled over on her side to better face her husband. "Have you talked to him about it?"
"I don't really know what to say. We've grown so far apart. It's like my own son is a stranger. I guess that's why I've been avoiding him all week. I'm afraid of how things could go if I tried to spend time with him."
Buffy's anger towards him was all but melted as she reached out and stroked Liam's cheek. "He's a very good boy, Liam. I bet things would go better than you think if gave it a chance."
"I'll try to build up the nerve," Liam replied. "I know I seem so strong most of the time, but I can still be insecure."
"I know, baby," Buffy said as she leaned in and kissed him gently.
As soon as she did, Liam rolled over and tried to situate himself between her legs. Buffy frowned and pulled back from his mouth. "Liam, I'm tired. I'm not really in the mood for this."
"Oh come on, Buffy, don't play these silly little games with me. I've had a long, stressful day, and I need a release. You're my wife, which means you're supposed to give me it to me."
Liam kissed her again, pushing his tongue roughly into her mouth as his hand slid up her thigh to bunch up the bottom of her nightgown. With an internal sigh, Buffy let her legs fall apart and held on to his shoulders.
Buffy had worried how the first day with their new "ground rule" in place would go; however, when William didn't leave his bedroom all morning, she didn't get her chance to find out.
She knew he was awake. She'd stood outside his door, debating with herself over whether or not she should knock as she listened to the sounds of him moving around inside. She wanted to talk to him, to make sure things were good between them, but finally, she convinced herself to walk away.
Still, as she sat alone on the couch watching television, she worried. What if after the incident in the pool and then what had happened at dinner, William didn't want to be around her anymore? What if he spent the rest of the summer locked away in his room, as he'd said he would do when he'd first arrived? Buffy wasn't sure she could stand having him so close, yet cut off from her.
At that thought, she shook her head, trying to force it back. It sounded too much like a thought one would have about a potential lover, not someone who was completely off-limits, as William was. Perhaps it was better if he remained in his room. At least it would reduce the temptation to push things to a place they shouldn't go.
Yet when she heard William walk into the room, relief flooded through her. She could see him out of the corner of her eye, watching her from the doorway as she watched the television, and she waited for him to speak.
"Watching All My Children?"
Buffy glanced quickly over at him, trying to play it cool in a way she knew was more keeping in line with the rules of flirtation than in truly keeping her distance. "Yeah. It's almost time for Passions if you want to come in here and watch it."
"You wouldn't mind?"
"No."
William took a seat on the opposite end of the couch, and the space between them felt almost like a third presence in the room. Buffy wanted nothing more than to move closer, to touch him again, and she could tell by the way William's hands were fidgeting against his legs he was fighting the same urge. Still, they allowed the distance to remain.
As All My Children ended, Buffy switched over to NBC without a word, Her eyes remained on the television, though her thoughts were anywhere but on the denizens of Harmony.
"You two having a nice afternoon?"
Buffy gasped at the sound of her husband's voice, then turned quickly, startled. "Liam! You're home early." She forced a bright smile forward.
"I thought I'd do some work at home this afternoon," Liam replied, his eyes trained on William even as he responded to Buffy. "Will? Can I talk to you alone for a moment?"
William swallowed, his heart pounding in his chest. Nothing good ever followed a request like that from his father, yet he knew if he tried to refuse, it would only make things worse.
"Yes, sir," he said, his head down and his eyes off Buffy as he left the room and followed Liam.
Liam led William upstairs to his office, dread growing in William the whole way up. The sound of the door shutting resonated behind him, and William knew whatever his father was about to say was not something he wanted Buffy to hear.
Liam crossed his arms over his chest as he appraised his son with cold eyes. "You know, seeing as you were down there watching soap operas with her like you've got a pussy, maybe everything I'm about to say is completely pointless. You like cock, boy?"
His eyes trained on the carpet, William shook his head. "No."
"You sure? You always were a fucking wuss. It wouldn't surprise me to find out I have a queer for a son."
"I'm not," William said, his voice barely above a whisper. He wondered belatedly if maybe he should've just said he was. Maybe then his father would lay off of him about Buffy. Because William knew exactly where this was going… His only hope was that Liam was going completely on speculation and worries and didn't know about what had happened in the pool the day before.
If Liam knew William had touched Buffy, William wasn't sure he'd make it out of the room in one piece.
"Then you want to fuck my wife."
William flinched. "I'm not…I won't…"
"Don't lie to me, boy. Any man that likes pussy is going to want hers. Why do you think I married the damn woman? Hot little piece of tail like that in my bed. Mmm. Lot better than those other mouthy bitches I married. Especially that whore you call a mother."
William swallowed hard. As much as his relationship with his mother wasn't one he'd classify as loving, hearing his father talk about her like that still upset him.
Darla may have been cruel, but Liam was so much worse—and had done so much to her.
To both of them…
"Tell me the truth. Tell me you want to fuck my wife."
"I don't… I wouldn't…" William stammered, unable to fight the fear being alone with Liam like this brought forward in him.
Liam grabbed William's arm, twisting it as his fingers dug into the young man's skin hard enough to bruise. "Don't lie to me, you little shit. I know what you're thinking every time you're with her. Tell me the truth. Say it so I can hear."
William fought back tears. He knew his father well enough to know what would happen if he dared to cry. "Yes, all right! I want her. But I won't…"
"Damn right you won't," Liam snapped as he let go of William, sending him staggering backwards. He sneered at the teen. "She wouldn't want you anyway, you know. Women like real men, not pathetic little pussies like you."
His head down again, William nodded. "I know."
"Good. But just in case you forget, I'm going to be doing more work at home. I'll be coming home some afternoons, but you won't know what day or what time. So any time you think maybe you want to touch my wife, you just remember, I could walk in the door at any moment. And if I find your filthy hands on her, I'll kill you. Understand?"
William nodded. "Yeah, I do."
"That's my boy," Liam said with a grin. He draped his arm over William's shoulders. "Now, if Buffy asks, we were in here doing some sort of father-son bonding, opening up the channels of communication, or whatever Oprah tells women we should do. Got it?"
"Yeah, I got it."
Liam brought his forearm up, choking William. "That's 'yes, sir.'"
"Yes, sir," William forced out.
William gasped for air as Liam let him go. "Good. Now get out."
Without looking back, William hurried out of Liam's office. He knew, after that conversation, he should probably just stay away from Buffy all together, yet his feet seemed to be heading in her direction on their own accord. He couldn't touch her, he knew, but at least with Buffy, he felt something he'd rarely felt before in his eighteen years.
She made him feel like he mattered.
The moment William followed Liam out of the room, Buffy began to worry. She tried to tell herself it was crazy to be as concerned as she was—after all, it wasn't like Liam was going to hurt his own son—but she couldn't shake that nagging feeling.
For the past couple of days, she'd started to wonder if Liam was the man she'd thought she'd married. He'd seemed so different, her loving husband replaced by something cold and cruel.
Buffy didn't like what she was seeing, and she didn't want to think for a moment that maybe she'd married someone she didn't really know. Instead, she wanted to rationalize it all, tell herself Liam didn't mean the things he'd said, and that he truly did love her. Everything he'd said to her, all the promises he'd whispered as he'd held her, they couldn't be the lies.
She'd been saved from the hell her life had become by her Prince Charming, and she couldn't lose that now.
When William came back into the room, his head down, Buffy felt her worry fighting with her need for denial again. "Will? What happened? Are you all right?"
"I'm fine, Buffy," William insisted, forcing himself to look up, though he couldn't meet her eyes. "We just talked." He paused for a moment, then cleared his throat and added, "Opening the channels of communication and whatnot."
He was giving her the answer she wanted to hear, but some part of her was still having a hard time accepting it. Buffy's eyes fixated to a spot on his neck, and she frowned. "Will, your neck is red. Are you all right?"
William flinched. "Sunburn. I've spent so much time at school in England, that I'm not used to the California sun."
Buffy frowned. "Are you sure? It doesn't look like…"
"Bloody hell, I'm sure!" William yelled. "Would you just let it go?"
"I'm sorry," Buffy said, flinching away.
Immediately, William felt bad for snapping at her. When it came to Liam's cruelty, William knew she was a victim, too—even if he wasn't sure she realized it yet. "No, I'm sorry. I had no right to yell at you."
"William, what's going on?" Buffy asked, her need to know what was causing this nagging feeling inside of her pushing aside her desire for denial for the moment.
He wanted to tell her. William wanted to give her the truth, tell her what sort of man she was married to, and then curl up in her arms and let her take the hurt away. But he couldn't. He knew well enough to know it wouldn't happen the way he wanted it to. If she believed him, and she tried to get away from Liam because of it, they'd both get hurt.
If she didn't, she'd push him away in favor of Liam, and he wasn't sure he could handle such a rejection.
William looked up at her, calling up on years of experience in covering for his father. "Nothing. We only talked, Buffy. I'm just tired, is all."
Buffy looked skeptical for a moment before her expression softened again and she accepted what he told her at face value. It could be sunburn. Maybe she just hadn't noticed until now... "Okay."
William smiled at her, relieved she seemed to be letting it drop. "So tell me how Passions ended?"
Smiling back, Buffy filled him in.
I don't know when there's going to be another chapter, because I currently don't have one. In all honesty, I haven't written a single word on this fic in over a month. (This chapter was written in mid October.) This is for two reasons. One is I am so incredibly busy with work, it's not even funny. I've worked overtime every night this week, and even on the nights when I don't, after spending all day doing dictation for two Dictaphone-happy lawyers, I really don't feel like coming home to look at a computer.
The other reason, is, well, not really writer's block, since technically I know where I want this story to go, but I don't know, maybe writer apathy? It's not that I don't want to finish the story, but when I sit down to work on it, I can't really get into it. My thoughts just aren't flowing, and I end up just staring at the blank page with a deer in headlights look despite the fact I have it plotted all the way to the distant end. So I'm asking a favor. This is in NO WAY blackmail. I want to make it very clear that I'm not saying "everyone give lots of reviews or I won't post anymore!" because that's not the truth, and not something I'd do. Eventually, I will finish this story, and hopefully, I'm not going to have to put it on an extended hiatus. But if even one of you could do something for me, it would be great, and I'd be so very thankful.
Here's the deal. A lot of times, when someone gives me a review telling me their thoughts on where a fic has gone so far, it gets me thinking about it and inspires me to write. It's amazingly helpful just to see a fic from another view point. Often times, readers say something I hadn't even thought of, and it gets the wheels turning in my mind. Even if it isn't what I'd planned or where I think it's going at all, just seeing what someone else thinks can get me thinking about a story in a whole new way. So if any of you would be willing to leave me a review or send me an email (addie_logan@yahoo.com) just giving me your thoughts on the fic so far, I would be eternally grateful. I need something to kick me out of this, and I think that would help. It doesn't have to be a dissertation, just a few thoughts could do it. Thank you.