Reunions / Part 20

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Willow picked up the story from the time she last talked to Giles. She explained that the previous morning Dawn had made the decision that she was going to stay with Spike at his place instead of coming back to the hotel. She told about Faith and Robin showing up with eight more slayers and how they ended up going on a vampire hunt. How when they broke into a building to prevent a group of vampires from attacking some humans they found Spike, Dawn and five of Spikes kids already in the building waiting for the vampires to attack. When Spike decided that the people he had saved were no longer safe where they were he led them to a new safe place for them to stay. Willow was very specific about how much these people had trusted Spike to protect them from harm. She then told how they had all gone back to Spikes place for a little after action party.

From that point on Willow, Faith and Robin each told parts of the story of how after getting back to Spikes place, while his kids and the slayers were all dancing to burn off energy, the rest of them had sat down for a drink and talked. Faith told how Dawn had explained that after having a simulated combat workout with Spike and his kids that afternoon she had proven to them that she was capable of protecting herself and others in a fight. When some demon friends of Spikes had come looking for him in the early evening and had warned him of a planned vampire attack on some humans at a specific location, Spike formed up a group, with Dawn included, to ambush the vampires.

That was when Robin added in that these demon friends of Spikes apparently were very friendly toward humans and helped Spike and his kids all the time. That was when they were told that it was because of his demon friends that no one had ever been able to find Spike with a locator spell. They were the ones who had healed him after the final battle and had charmed his leather suit and had provided special Demonic/Christian Crosses to him and all of his kids to hide them from locator spells for the past seven years.

Apparently a tribe of demons had been converted to Christianity several hundred years ago by a Spanish monk. With a combination of their Christian beliefs and their demonic magical powers they had been able to live and hide themselves in and around Los Angeles for hundreds of years without being discovered by humans. Spike had saved one of their kind, a High Priest, from other demons and they felt they owed him a favor. When he had been injured in the final battle they had used their powers to keep him hidden. They had also been helping him and his kids with information, arranging special jobs for them in the underworld to earn money and through their many connections helped provide a major portion of the food Spike and his kids needed to survive. They were also the ones who had told Spike about Joy’s special abilities.

Willow then told Giles, Buffy and the ladies from the Coven what Spike had told them about Joy’s mother, the significance of Joy’s birth, the date and time, her special abilities and that she appeared to be both a slayer and according to Spike and his demon friends she was also the only known living Guardian.

The ladies of the Coven had sat quietly through everything that had been explained by Willow, Faith and Robin. When Willow made the final pronouncement about the young girl being a Guardian they became very excited and started whispering to each other.

“A Guardian” Giles said in astonishment “how could they possibly know that she is a Guardian?”

“Giles” Willow responded, “these demonic priest are apparently very powerful wizards and have been able to study Joy for the past five years. I told you she is both a telepath and an empath. The priests say she also has great magical potential and that she has abilities that haven’t even surfaced yet. Their the ones who told Spike that she is a Guardian. I think that they might know a lot more about Guardians than we do. If we could get them to talk to us we might learn a lot.”

“Oh yes, I agree whole-heartedly” Giles replied excitedly “this is the first piece of information regarding the Guardians we’ve come across in eight years. We will definitely have to set up a delegation from the Council and the Coven to talk to them about what they know. Do you think Spike would be willing to help us make contact with them and set up a schedule of meetings?”

“That’s sort of a problem right now” Willow said reluctantly. “It’s like I said at the beginning, Spikes kind of upset with us right now. I don‘t think were really in a position to be asking him for favors.”

“Just why is it that Spike is upset with us” Giles asked?

“We got into an argument with Dawn about telling Spike certain secrets” Robin said, taking the lead in the conversation. “Dawn wanted to tell him everything, about Buffy and the Hellmouth and what happened that day. The rest of us felt that we shouldn’t tell him until after we’d had a chance to talk to both of you. Dawn felt we were saying we didn’t trust Spike and got angry about it. When the three of us voted against her she started drinking heavily and started crying. Spike walked up on us while I was reminding Dawn that she didn’t have the right to divulge Council secrets. We don’t know what else he may have heard, but he did blame us for Dawns crying and told us we had worn out our welcome. Whether or not he is still upset with us, we don’t know? Willow left a phone with Dawn and we have tried to call her several times this morning, but apparently after the first call, we could hear it ringing, she or Spike has turned it off.”

“When was the last time you tried to call” Giles asked?

“Just before you got here” Willow said as she looked at Giles and then Buffy. “Do you want me to try calling her again?”

Buffy had listened quietly to Willow, Faith and Robin as they told what had occurred since last talking to Giles. For the first time since they had started explaining what had happened the previous night she spoke up. “It’ll be okay” Buffy said calmly to all of them. “Spike wasn’t mad at you, he just wanted you to go away so you wouldn’t upset Dawn anymore.”

Giles was looking at Buffy and felt concern because of the distant look she had in her eyes. “Buffy” he said quietly “why do you think Spike won’t stay mad at them?”

Buffy’s attention focused on Giles after a few moments. “Because he never was mad at them. When Spikes mad it’s always bloody this and bloody that, and maybe breaking a few things. Spike just wanted them to go away. He just wanted to protect Dawn, that’s what he does, always.” Buffy explained. After a few moments she added, “Spike won’t let Dawn tell him any secretes either.”

“I don’t know, B” Faith said as she looked over at Buffy. “Dawn was pretty upset over the whole not trusting Spike thing. She just might blurt it all out and not give him any choice about it.”

“No, Dawn won’t do that” Buffy said to the group. “Dawn will tell him she knows something she thinks he should know but she can’t tell him unless he asks her. Spike won’t ask.”

“I’m not sure I understand your reasoning there Buffy” Robin said as he looked at her with a question in his eyes.

Buffy looked around the group and could see that clearly none of them understood. Taking a deep breath Buffy explained, “Dawn loves and trust Spike, but she won’t break her word to the Council, unless Spike asks her to. Spike loves Dawn and would never let her do something that would hurt her. Breaking her word to the Council would hurt Dawn, so Spike won’t let her, he won’t ask her to break her word.”

“Is it really that simple Buffy” Giles asked with a sense of wonder in his voice.

“It is for Dawn and Spike” Buffy responded with total conviction. “There’s no point in trying to call Dawn either, she won’t talk to anyone until after she talks to Spike. When their done talking Spike will remind her to call us.”

***

Buffy had just finished speaking when Willows cell phone started ringing. Willow glanced at the number of the incoming call and looking over at Buffy with a look of surprise, said “It’s Dawn!” Buffy just smiled at her.

When Willow answered the phone and started talking to Dawn she told her that they had been trying to call her all morning. Willow repeated back what Dawn was saying, that Dawn had shut off the phone because she didn’t want to talk to anyone until after she had a chance to talk to Spike. When Willow asked if she had told Spike the secret, Dawn told her that Spike wouldn’t let her. She also mentioned that Spike had been the one to remind her to turn her phone back on and to call Willow because he thought Willow might be getting concerned. Willow and the rest of the group sat there for a few moments staring over at Buffy.

Buffy just smiled at them and said quietly “Told ya.”

Dawn said something on the phone and drew Willows attention back to her. When Willow asked her to repeat what she had said, Dawn started telling her that there was going to be a big party for Joy the next day at noon. But if anyone wanted to attend they had to come after dark tonight and wouldn’t be able to leave until after dark tomorrow night. Spike had told Dawn that a number of his demon friends would be attending and if Willow wanted to meet any of them this would be her opportunity. He had also told Dawn that it would be appreciated if the Slayers didn’t do any demon hunting in his part of town for the next couple of nights because they might end up hurting his friends.

When Giles heard what Dawn was saying to Willow he asked for the phone and started talking to Dawn. Giles asked her to ask Spike if he could come to the party, along with some of the witches from the Coven, and a few other people. Giles heard Dawn talking to Spike and heard Spike talking in the background. When she came back on the phone Dawn told Giles he could bring himself and anyone else he wanted to, as long as Willow brought him more brandy, since she and Dawn had drank up all he had the night before. When Willow heard what Spike had said she smiled and nodded her head to Giles that she understood. Giles then passed the phone to Buffy.

***

When Buffy took the phone she hesitated for a few moments before she said “Dawn, it’s me.”

“Buffy, oh god it’s good to hear your voice” Dawn said with a tone of suppressed excitement in her voice. “Are you alright, are you doing okay? The last week has been a roller coaster and I’ve wanted to talk to you so bad, but I couldn’t say anything to you until after we talked to Spike, and I’m really sorry we didn’t tell you right away.”

“It’s okay Dawn” Buffy said with just a touch of strain in her voice. “Giles explained everything to me, I understand.”

Before Buffy could say anything else she heard Dawn saying “Oh shit, shit, shit”, but not into the phone. “Dawn? Dawn?” Buffy said into the phone, her voice getting louder. “Dawn, what’s the matter? Dawn, are you there?”

“Oh, I’m sorry Buffy” Dawn said when she came back to the phone. “Spike must have heard me talking to you and he ran away.”

Buffy had been sitting, but when Dawn said Spike had run away, without thinking she was on her feet. “He ran away” Buffy said, her voice was quivering.

“Oh, no, no Buffy, not like that, I’m sorry” Dawn said into the phone hurriedly. “I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant he left the room.”

Buffy noticed that everyone was looking at her with concern in their eyes. She turned away from them and walked over to a window so that her back was to them and spoke to Dawn quietly. “Is it because of me Dawnie” Buffy asked, her voice was quivering and a tear started running down her cheek.

“I don’t know Buffy. He was across the room when I started talking to you and when I looked up he was gone” Dawn told her. “But I don’t really know why he left. It could have been for a lot of reasons, I guess” Dawn ended lamely.

“Does he hate me Dawnie” Buffy asked, her voice was quivering even more and tears were running from both her eyes now and dripping from her chin onto her blouse.

“No, god no Buffy! Spike doesn’t hate you” Dawn said quickly. Buffy could hear in Dawns voice that she was trying to hold back tears. “It’s just that, whenever someone mentions your name or tries to talk about you, it seems to hurt him. Buffy, he thought you were happy. That’s why he stayed away, why he never called. He thought you were happy and he didn’t want to mess that up. He thought that if you knew he was alive it would just make you unhappy.” Dawn was crying now. “Andrew told him you had moved on with your life and that you were in love with the “Immortal”. He thought the two of you were living together in Rome and that you were happy and living the life he thought you always wanted.”

The tears were flowing in heavy streams from both of Buffy’s eyes, so many tears that she couldn’t see past them out the window. Her chest felt so tight she could barely breath. Her throat felt so constricted she could barely speak. “Does he love someone else now Dawnie” Buffy choked out.

“Oh Buffy, please don’t do this to yourself” Dawn cried into the phone. “Spike lives with forty-three kids and the oldest one is younger than me. He shares a room with his little girl, his adopted daughter Joy. Buffy, her name isn’t really Joy, that’s just what they all call her. Her real name is Joyce, he named her after mom. I asked some of the kids if he has a girlfriend and they told me that he doesn’t, but they think he had one a long time ago. One of the girls told me that he has a picture of a girl that he carries with him and that she saw him looking at it once and he was crying. Buffy I don’t know if the picture was you or not, but the girl said it was an old picture, and you told me once that Spike had a bunch of pictures and drawings of you, so it could have been you. But I don’t know Buffy, I don’t know.” Dawn was crying just as hard a Buffy now and it took her a minute before she could talk again. “But Buffy, if he didn’t still love you, why would it still hurt him so much to talk about you. I mean, until just a few days ago he thought you were happy and in love with someone else. Maybe he hasn’t worked it out in his head yet. Or maybe he still thinks that he’d mess up your life, I don’t know.” Dawn slipped back into crying and couldn’t stop herself.

Buffy continued to stand in front of the window crying and was totally lost to what was going on in the rest of the room. Everyone else had sat quietly, not looking at her and trying to give her the privacy she needed. When she continued to sob Giles couldn’t take it anymore and got up from his seat and walked over to where she was standing. Quietly and without saying anything to her he took the phone out of her hand and turned it off. He then turned her and wrapping his arms around her he pulled her against his chest and tried to sooth her. Holding her seemed to have the opposite effect though. Instead of soothing Buffy it just seemed to open her emotions up even more and she started crying even harder. Giles felt totally lost as to what to do or say to Buffy. He loved Buffy with all his heart and thought of her as his beloved daughter, but he didn’t know what to do to ease her pain. He brushed one hand over the back of her head and made little sounds he hoped were soothing, but he wasn’t sure and felt totally helpless.

After what seemed hours but were in reality only minutes, Buffy finally regained enough control of herself to speak. Her voice was almost a whisper and tear choked, but with her forehead pressed against Giles chest she finally spoke. “I don’t think I can live like this anymore Giles. When I thought he was dead it hurt so much I wanted to die. But because of Dawn and you and Willow I tried to hold on. But now that I know he’s alive I can’t stop myself from thinking he doesn’t love me anymore, and it hurts to much. I love him so much Giles. I don’t want to live without him, I don’t think I can.”

Giles held on to Buffy even tighter as if holding on to her would prevent her from slipping away. Tears were standing in his eye and he knew that within moments he might loose control of himself. In a voice choked with emotion Giles whispered in Buffys ear “Please, please Buffy, hold on. We all love you so much, I love you so much, please hold on.”

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