[Reviews - 230]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 1653 times

- Text Size +




Reunions / Part 23

**************

The rest of the ride back to the hotel was pretty much in silence. It was just past 9:30 when they got to the hotel, so Sara drove to the back corner of the parking lot where everyone else was waiting. Sara pulled into a parking slot that had been left open for her and as soon as she came to a full stop Buffy was there pulling open the side door on the van. She jumped inside and gave everyone a quick hug and told Angel to stay in the van because they would all be pulling out soon. Everyone else got out of the van to stretch their legs. Buffy stayed briefly to talk to Angel and then was gone again. Faith and Robin stopped by briefly, then went to the car they were assigned. Willow rushed by with a wave of her hand. Giles came by and asked Angel how his trip was, but spent most of the time he was there talking to Nina and Connor. At the last minute Andrew came to the van and getting inside climbed into a back seat without talking to anyone.

When Vi came to the drivers door and gave Sara a walkie-talkie and told her what her position would be in their little convoy, everyone went to their assigned transport and the signal was given to go. Each of the vehicles left a minute apart so that they wouldn’t be bunched up together and draw attention. For an hour the spread out convoy circled around the warehouse area while Willow and the other three witch’s used seeker spells to try to locate any vampires or demons in the area. Once she was certain that there wasn’t anyone close enough to be a danger Willow gave the signal to one of the SUV’s and it broke away from the circling convoy and drove to the warehouse. A minute later another SUV, then the truck, then a SUV, then the van, then the SUV Buffy was in and lastly the SUV carrying Willow and the other three witches.

All of the people driving had been to the warehouse before and knew to turn off their headlights and where to go. When all seven vehicles were together they shut off all their lights and their engines. Willow was the only one to get out of her car and walked out in front of all of them and popped one of her glow lights up into the air. For ten minutes everyone sat in silence waiting for Spike to arrive. The only sounds that could be heard was some scurrying sounds to far back in the dark to see what was making them. When a light came around a corner Willow was the first to notice it. A tall skinny girl with long blond hair carried a lantern across the room and sat it down on the floor. She then walked back into the dark shadows.

From the moment they had entered the warehouse Buffy had been reaching out with her slayer senses searching for Spike. For that feeling that once long ago she had been able to identify as *him*. The feeling that had become so strong between them that she could always tell when he was near. The feeling that had been missing from her life for so long that she was afraid she had lost the ability to identify it any longer. Minutes went by, and then more minutes, but no Spike. When the girl with the light came into the open Buffy almost jumped out of the car, but Giles steadying hand on her arm kept her in place. When the girl left the light on the floor and walked back into the dark, Buffy wanted to chase after her. She sat in her seat chewing her bottom lip nervously, twisting her hands together, waiting.

When another light came out of the dark Buffy let her breath out in a gasp. She hadn’t even realized that she had been holding her breath. She sat there sucking air into her lungs, trying to steady herself. As the flashlight moved forward and blended with the light on the floor and the light from Willows glow ball, Buffy was finally able to see that it was Dawn. Buffy didn’t wait any longer, she was out of the car and rushing toward her. When they met in the glow of the lights they wrapped their arms around each other. Dawn was taller than Buffy and with her high heeled boots on she was even taller than usual. Buffy had her arms around Dawns waist while Dawn had hers around Buffys shoulders. Looking at them it would have been difficult to tell who was the younger and who was the older. Others started getting out of the cars and trucks, but none of them moved forward, giving the two young women a moment together.

When Buffy leaned back from Dawn, but with her arms still around her waist, she looked up and saw that Dawn was smiling, but it seemed a nervous smile. A wave of fear rushed through Buffy and her entire body started to vibrate with tension. “Dawn, please tell me what’s wrong? I know something’s wrong, I can feel it.” Buffy’s voice quivered a little, she bit down on her bottom lip to stop it from trembling.

Dawns voice was a little tense when she started speaking, “There’s nothing wrong Buffy, not really. It’s just that Spike wasn’t expecting so many of us to show up” Dawn explained. “I mean he knew that Giles was coming and you, and he figured Willow and the others that had been here before would come too, but there’s more of us than he was expecting. More than I knew were coming, and, uh …… Buffy, he felt Angel. I didn’t know Angel was coming. It kind of upset him, took him by surprise. Spike doesn’t like surprises.”

“Should Angel leave?” Buffy asked quickly. “We could have someone take him back to the hotel.”

“It’s a little late for that, he already knows Angels here” Dawn said, her voice still tense. “Making him leave won’t change anything now. Buffy, he thought Angel was dead, and that’s why he never came back. Finding out he’s alive, ….. it upset him. He won’t talk about it, but I know it upset him. No ones had a chance to explain why Angel didn’t come back because he won‘t let them talk about him.”

“Is he mad at me? Does he think I did something to hurt him.” Buffy asked quickly. “Dawn, I didn’t know anything about anything until Giles got me on the plane. I didn’t know Angel was coming or anyone else either!” Buffys voice was shaking, her eyes glistened, she looked as if she could start crying at any moment.

“I know Buffy, I know” Dawn said as she hugged Buffy to her and held her tight, her own voice sounding as if she were ready to cry.

Buffy forced herself to push back from Dawn and wiped her eyes with the tips of her fingers. She visibly took hold of herself and got her emotions under control. “I don’t want him to see me crying. It took all afternoon for the puffiness to go down from crying all the way over here. Is my makeup okay? Do I look alright? I want to look good when he sees me.” Buffy was forcing a tone of cheerfulness into her voice. She made herself smile. She tried to look happy.

Dawn wiped her own eyes and tried to get herself under control. “You look fine Buffy. You look just like he remembers you looking.”

It was true, Buffy did look just like she had the last time she saw Spike. She still looked like the twenty-two year old woman who had led a group of other young women, and a vampire with a soul, into the Hellmouth to save the world. She still had that look in her eyes like the day the Hellmouth collapsed, and took the man she had finally admitted she loved away from her. She looked as if a part of her was missing.

****

As the others got out of the cars and trucks they grouped up behind Buffy and Dawn. Giles, Willow and Xander came forward to be with them. Faith and Robin joined them next. The slayers drifted up and spread out behind them. Through no real conscious effort the slayers who had been at the Hellmouth with Buffy, and with Spike, lined up behind them, with the other slayers staying to the back. The three witch’s from the Coven took a position on the left side. They were with the group, but not within the group. Angel moved his wheelchair so that he was to the opposite side of the group from where the witch’s were standing, with Nina on one side and Connor on the other. One lone figure was standing away from the group, off to the side, almost into the dark. His arms were folded across his chest tightly, his head was bent in order to avoid eye contact with the others, and if the light had been good enough, tears would have been seen on Andrews face.

With the only light in the large room coming from the lantern sitting on the floor, Dawns flashlight and the glow ball floating in the air, the dense darkness was almost oppressive. Willow reached into her pocket and pulled a couple of packets out and breaking them open with her fingers threw them into the air while speaking a word of power. The dust she had thrown into the air formed two glowing balls of light that doubled the amount of light in the room.

The sudden increase in light brought to everyone’s attention the large group of Spikes children who had been standing in the dark unseen. That they could be there, so close, yet unseen and undetected by either witch’s or slayer’s did not go unnoticed. Angel, the only one of the group who might have known they were there due to their scent, had shown no indication that he was aware of their presence either until they were shown in the light.

The tall thin girl with the long blonde hair came around a corner with another lit lantern and set it on the floor a good thirty feet from the first lantern. The glow of the two lanterns met at the edges of their illumination, but did not intersect. It was as if there was a line between the two groups, a line that wasn’t yet to be crossed over.

When the group of children, standing more in shadow than in the light, parted, Spike came walking through their midst. He was holding Joy’s hand as she walked beside him. He stopped short of the lantern and looking down at Joy he smiled at her. Joy made a low cooing sound and released his hand. Spike stepped forward into the full light of the lantern sitting on the floor. His white blonde hair was a riot of curls, completely unlike the way he had worn it years ago when the others had known him. He no longer wore a black leather duster, as their memories about him always recalled. Instead he was dressed in tight black leather motorcycle pants, heavy black motorcycle boots, and a tight fitting black leather motorcycle jacket that was zipped up to his throat. A six inch by four inch silver cross was hanging from a heavy silver chain from around his neck and lay on his chest over his heart. In the light of the lantern, if you looked closely, dark blue-black archaic symbols were visible on the arms and legs of the leathers. Matching symbols could also be seen on the cross. His skin was so pale that it was almost translucent, but the blue of his eyes caught the light and almost seemed to glow of their own. His face was distant, and hard, as if he were standing before an enemy and dared not show any weakness before them. He had a tight smile on his lips.

Buffy had watched Spike move forward into the light and had been transfixed by the sight of him. There were obvious things about him that had changed, but at the same time he looked just the same as the last time she saw him, in the Hellmouth. Unconsciously she started to step forward toward him, but Dawn grabbed her arm and stopped her. Buffy glanced quickly at Dawn and tried to pull her arm free. Dawn held on to her arm and whispered “Don’t!” Buffy stopped trying to pull free and looked at Dawn closely. She saw that Dawn had her jaws clenched tight and was very nervous. When Buffy looked back at Spike she could see that he was purposefully not looking directly at her. Buffy felt a tightening in her chest and had to open her mouth to breath in enough air.

Spike stood before them and focused his eyes on Giles. As he continued to stare at Giles he saw him become uncomfortable under his gaze. Giles then squared his shoulders and stared back at Spike. A slight smile came to Spikes lips. “Did you think you had to bring an army with you, Rupert?” Spike said with a slight edge to his voice.

At first thought Giles was confused by Spikes statement, until he realized that thirty slayers, four witch’s and eight other fighters could very well be considered to be an army. Giles let his face relax and smiled at Spike for a moment before speaking. “I hadn’t really thought about the numbers that much to be honest with you Spike. If you look closely you will notice that you know almost everyone here. Most of them in fact came here for the specific purpose of seeing you.”

“Why would that be, Rupert?” Spike asked as he studied the young women.

“Of the thirty-four people that went into the Hellmouth in Sunnydale, twenty-five of us came out alive.” Giles made sure that everyone in the room could hear him, especially Spikes children. “It was only because of what you did that day, your sacrifice, that any of us lived at all. We all thought you died that day saving the world, and incidentally our lives. Recently when we learned that you were still alive I notified all of the survivors. We have all come here to thank you for what you did that day and to offer you our gratitude and our friendship.”

A crooked smile spread across Spikes lips as he looked at Giles. “Bloody hell, Rupert, that must have hurt a bit, didn’t it?” Spike said, but there was a tone of amusement in his voice.

“Actually, not as much as you might think” Giles replied lightly, a smile also on his face. “Time and good thoughts have softened the edges of past memories to where I barely felt a twinge at all.”

Spike burst out with a short laugh at the comment as he looked out at the slayers lined up across from him. It took him a few moments, but he started putting names and faces to the young potentials he had helped train to fight against Caleb and the army of the First. It bothered him somewhat that they all seemed to still look the same as they had in Sunnydale, but of course with four witch’s with them they must all be under a glamour. Still, it seemed a bit excessive. Unless they were doing it so that he could recognize them?

Spikes eyes roved over the group before him. He deliberately kept his eyes from meeting with Buffys. He saw that Faith and Robin were there, that was expected. Dawn, Buffy and Willow were all together. But directly behind Willow was someone new. It took a moment before he realized who it was, the whelp, Harris. But he wasn’t a whelp, a boy, any longer. The man standing across from him had changed more than any of the others. This man had little about him that resembled the youth he’d had to deal with years earlier. He wondered if this man hated him as much as the boy always had? He didn’t see any outward signs of hostility, but that didn’t mean anything, maybe he just had better control of himself than he did in the past. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking about that anyway. But he would keep a wary eye on him just the same.

His eyes kept roaming, he let them pass over Angel, but didn’t stop. He wasn’t ready to deal with that yet. When he couldn’t find who he was looking for he turned his gaze back to Giles. “Where’s the boy, Rupert” he asked, “where’s Andrew?”

Giles glanced to both sides and then turning he looked behind, but he couldn’t locate Andrew in the crowd. Before he could turn back and say anything, a voice from the shadows off to the side said “Here!”

Spike looked in the direction of the voice and watched Andrew step barely out of the shadows. He wasn’t the boy Spike remembered from Sunnydale, or from the last time he saw him in Rome either. The young man standing before him had changed too. His face was much the same, maybe a little thinner, his hair was cut shorter, and the clothes he wore fitted properly and were stylish in a conservative way. The gray slacks, off white shirt, gray-on-gray stripped tie and the gray tweed jacket all went well together and made him look good. Like a proper Junior Watcher. But the way he was folded in upon himself, and the traces of tears still on his face, spoke loudly to Spike. Spike knew immediately what the problem was and felt the sting of anger. The boy had kept his promise and now the others were angry with him.

Spike knew what needed to be done, not for himself, but for the boy. He stepped away from the lantern on the floor and walked over to Andrew. Stopping a few feet away from him he spoke with his voice raised loud enough for all to hear. “It’s few enough who have kept their word to me Andrew. There’s even some that think making a promise to a vampire like me has no value at all. But you made your promise to me lad, you kept my secrete and kept your word, I won’t forget that, ever.” Spike then stepped up to Andrew and wrapped his arms around him in a hug of friendship and respect. In a voice low enough that no one else could hear, Spike whispered in Andrews ear, “Don’t you let these bloody wankers make you feel less than you are boy. You made your promise to me, and you kept it. A real man honors his word. If they can’t deal with it, you just tell them to ‘sod off’. You hear me?”

Andrew had his arms around Spike and was hugging him in return. Hearing Spikes words in his ear, a slight chuckle escaped him. “Yeah, I hear you Bro.” Andrew straightened his shoulders and stood straight before Spike, looking him in the eyes. “I never thought I’d get the chance to say this, but I’ve missed you Spike. I’m glad you didn’t die again.”

Spike let a sincere smile spread across his lips as he spoke. “Yeah, all things considered, I’m fairly happy about it myself.”

Spike gave Andrew another quick hug and turning walked back to the light. Andrew wiped tears from his eyes and then straitening his shoulders again, he walked out of the shadows and joined the line of slayers. When Spike was back in the light he looked over and saw that one of the slayers, one that he remembered from Sunnydale, had an arm around Andrews shoulder and was giving him a hug. Looking at them he gave them both a smile.

Back in the light the smile on his face remained until he swung his gaze toward Angel. The smile left his face and the skin tightened as he clenched his jaws. His eyes narrowed as he looked closely at Angel for the first time. The wheelchair didn’t mean anything to Spike, he’d been in one himself, several times over the past hundred plus years. Vampires could sustain massive injuries and survive, but even a vampire needed time to recover from some injuries. Angels hair was the same as the last time he saw him, still poofed up with to much gel. He looked heavier in the shoulders and chest than he remembered, but not that much. The rest of him looked the same as before. He still furrowed his brow with disapproval whenever he had to deal with Spike. He still frowned as he brooded. He still hated Spike just for existing. Nothings changed.

“Why are you here, Angelus?” Spike asked suddenly into the quiet. “Surely not out of friendship or gratitude, we both know better than that.”

The room had been quiet before, but with Spikes statement to Angel, the room became even quieter. No one moved, no one spoke, some even held their breath, waiting.

“Hrump” Angel said as he cleared his throat. “Ah, when I heard you were alive again, er, not dead, er, not dust” Angel stumbled through the sentence, “I thought I should come see you, to explain things.”

“What’s to explain, Angelus?” Spike said angrily. “You asked us to fight, all your friends died, you ran away and didn’t come back. What needs to be explained?”

“That’s not how it happened Spike and you know it” Angel snapped back angrily. “I didn’t run away. Illyria carried me off while I was unconscious. I didn’t have a choice. By the time I woke up it was to late. The fight was over, I thought you were dead” Angel shouted.

The anger on Spikes face was readable to everyone in the room, he vamped out and he looked as if he was going to charge across the room and attack Angel. Then it was gone, he straightened up, his face smoothed out, a tight look of indifference was on his face now. In a tight calm voice he spoke to Angel. “When we agreed to fight, all of us, we knew we were going to die. You told us we couldn’t win, but we could make a difference. You told us we could hurt them Angelus, and we did, we hurt them bad. But it was all for nothing. You were gone, the Slayer wrote the city off, (Spike heard Buffy gasp when he said this) there was no one to stop them from coming back and taking over again.”

Stung to his soul by Spikes words, Angel responded defensively between gritted teeth, “What about you? You were here, what were you doing, hiding?”

A grim smile came across Spikes face. “I was here Angelus. I did what I could. I saved a few and protected a few more. I even made some friends. But I didn’t have the bloody Powers on my side now, did I? I didn’t have prophecies and oracles and redemption working for me, did I? All I could do was to keep fighting, saving one life at a time, helping the helpless.”

Hearing Spike say ‘helping the helpless’ drained all traces of anger out of Angel. That had been his mission, to help the helpless, and he had given it up to save his son, to give him a chance at a normal life. He had made a bargain with the devil to take over Wolfram & Hart, thinking he could change things from the inside. Thinking that he could make a big difference in the lives of many instead of little differences in the lives of a few. Instead his friends were all dead, he was a cripple, and he’d failed to help anyone.

“Course your right about one thing” Spike continued, “I have been hiding.” Spike lifted up the cross from his chest and flashed it at Angel. “The bloody sod’s haven’t forgotten what we did, not by a long shot. No, they been trying to track me down for years now. Wankers almost got me a few times too. So it might be a good idea for you to go back to wherever you were hiding right quick now, before they find out your in town and come looking for you.”

“I haven’t been hiding Spike” Angel said in a flat emotionless tone of voice. “They just don’t see me as a threat anymore. A vampire with a soul locked in a wheelchair doesn’t worry them all that much, or fulfill any prophecies either.”

It wasn’t until that very moment that Spike realized that Angel being in a wheelchair wasn’t a temporary thing due to some recent injury. He remembered his own injuries from that battle with the demon army sent to destroy them. He remembered the weeks he had spent undergoing mystic surgeries under the care of the Hool-Mar priests, and more months before he could walk again. It finally occurred to him why Angel hadn’t come back. Like an epiphany it occurred to him that maybe Angel didn’t deserve all the anger he was feeling toward him after all. Some of it, yeah, for certain, but maybe not all of it.

He stared at Angel for a moment, watching him, seeing his bent neck, his defeated look. As much as he loathed and despised Angel at times, he had never seen him bow to defeat. Being in a wheelchair had done more than prevent Angel from coming back to L.A. to carry on the fight. It had taken something else away from him, his pride, his honor. Seeing Angel humbled gave Spike an instant of joy, but only that. Seeing the defeated look on his face also made him angry. He remembered those last days with Angel before the final battle. He remembered that they had seemed to have finally found a place where they were both able tolerate each other, to accept each other without the constant fighting. Spike didn’t know if they would ever find that place again, but he made the decision not to close the door on the possibility, not just yet.

All of these thought had flashed through Spikes mind within moments of what Angel had just said to him. He looked at Angel and let a grin return to his face, “That’s right stupid of them don’t you think, chum? Writing you off’s not the smartest thing they’ve ever done, now is it? We’ll just have to see what we can do about that, won’t we?”

Angel heard the change in Spikes tone of voice and looking up saw the grin on his face. He didn’t have the slightest idea what Spike was grinning about or what he was talking about either, but the ‘we’ in his last statement indicated that the two of them had a common goal. Angel grinned back a Spike, not really knowing why he was grinning, and watched Spikes grin turn into a smile. “Yeah, we’ll have to do that, won’t we?” was his reply as he smiled back.

****

Having finished with Angel, Spike turned back to face Giles. He again avoided any eye contact with Buffy, as if she wasn’t even in the room. Speaking only to Giles, hurrying along as quickly as possible, wanting to get away before he had to speak to Buffy, he said “You can settle your people in here tonight, we’re not expecting anyone else until early morning. My kids will give you a hand with anything you might need. I’m going to get my young one’s to bed for the night, I’ll see you in the morning.” Having gotten that out in one quick rush, Spike turned away and started to walk toward his children and out of the light.

Buffy had been watching every move Spike made and listened to every word he had to say. She saw the initial potential confrontation with Giles turn into one of humor and acceptance. She watched him single out Andrew and publicly thank him for keeping secret that he’d come back after the Hellmouth and was alive again. He had made the promise a point of honor that he appreciated Andrew keeping all these years. He had also kept a distance between himself and everyone else, except for Andrew, that everyone had plainly noticed. She had seen him glancing over the faces of the slayers and was certain that he had recognized many of them.

When he started his confrontation with Angel she could feel his hostility and anger. She also felt that somehow he thought Angel had betrayed him, and the others who had died, by not coming back. But somewhere in there Spike had realized why Angel hadn’t come back, and that seemed to make a difference. She had watched him as he studied Angel and could see the changes that were going on in his mind by watching the changes in his eyes. The fact that they ended up smiling at each other, even though there was tension still between them, was the most surprising thing of all.

When he finished with Angel, Buffy felt that she would now get her chance to speak to him. She’d been told by the others that he hadn’t allowed any of them to talk about either her or Angel. But seeing how things had turned out with Angel she had her hopes up. She knew he was reluctant to talk to her and she wasn’t sure why. Her greatest fear was that he didn’t love her anymore. That over the years he had stopped loving her and now loved someone else. She had never understood why he had never let her know he was alive again after the Hellmouth. But she also remembered that the last time they had seen each other, in the Hellmouth, she had told him she loved him, and he had denied her love. He’d told her she didn’t mean it. That memory had haunted Buffy for eight years.

Buffy was so busy thinking about what she wanted to say she didn’t realize at first that Spike was telling Giles to settle in for the night and was getting ready to leave. He had already turned away when she did realize it and called out “Spike” loud enough for everyone to hear. When he kept walking she called out again “Spike, please!”

Spike stopped at the edge of the light and turned back toward Buffy. She had unconsciously walked from the pool of light she was standing in to the lantern he had been standing next to. When he turned around she’d stopped automatically. She could see that his face was cold and distant, his posture rigid, his eyes looking past her and not at her.

“Spike, please talk to me” Buffy asked calmly. She was forcing herself to stay calm. She forced herself to smile at him. She forced herself to stay in control of her emotions. “It’s been a long time. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, Slayer” Spike responded, his voice clipped and toneless.

Calling her ‘Slayer’ sent a knife of pain through Buffy’s heart. Slayer was what he use to call her when he was trying to put distance between them, when he was angry at her, when he was hurt by something she had done or said to him.

“I’ve missed you a lot Spike, more than you might believe, but it’s true. I think about you everyday. When I thought you were dea ….. gone, I tried to remember everything about you. I tried to remember everything we said to each other.” As Buffy continued to talk a quiver came into her voice. “Sometimes the things we, …. I said weren’t very nice, I know, but I didn’t want to forget anything. I tried to remember the times we were together too. Mo… mostly the good times though. But I remembered the ba … bad ones too. Because I didn’t wa…. want to forget.”

Spike continued to look past Buffy and not at her. When he spoke his voice was distant and empty of emotion. “I remember too, Slayer. Long time past, best be forgotten.”

Buffy started speaking quickly, as if she couldn‘t get the words out fast enough. “I can’t forget, Spike. I don’t want to forget. I remember the Hellmouth. I remember you calling my name and I came to you. I remember the light, you were shining.” As she spoke Buffy’s eyes seemed to go out of focus. “I remember taking your hand in my hand, and they caught fire, but it didn’t burn.” She reached out as if taking his hand in hers. “I told you I loved you, but you didn’t believe me. Spike it was true, when I said it, when I told you I loved you, I meant it.” Buffy’s eyes came back into focus as she looked across the short distance between them. “I still love you. Do you understand. I love you Spike.”

Buffy saw Spike look directly into her eyes, she saw his eyes go soft and fill with pain, she saw the mask he had been holding start to crumble, she heard him say, “No, you don’t. But, thanks for saying it.” Spike spun on his heel and walked away quickly. When he was fully out of the light she heard him running away from her.

Buffy stood transfixed, unable to move or say anything, then she crumbled to the floor. Her body trembled and shook, she couldn’t draw her breath, tears filled her eyes and she couldn’t see, pain and anguish robbed her of thought, she wanted to die.

A scream of pain echoed from the throats of both Dawn and Joy at the same time as they both rushed to Buffy to wrap their arms around her to try to sooth her. Everyone else seemed frozen, unable to move. As Buffy sobbed on the floor, Dawn and Joy cried with her.

*************





You must login (register) to review.