The next morning found Spike alone and contorted into a position that shouldn’t have been humanly possible on the couch. It had been an unspoken thing between them that they would spend the night apart. Although, if she had asked him to stay with her he wouldn’t have been able to resist.
Sitting up, he stretched his sore and tight muscles. Sleeping on the couch was going to get old really fast. Since her stay was going to be permanent, he really needed to figure out some better sleeping arrangements or he would be useless at work.
His thoughts drifted to the morning before when he had woken up with Buffy in his arms. Now, that was something he could get quite used to.
But it was too soon for that.
He stumbled into the kitchen and proceeded to make the strongest coffee on the West coast. Waking up at seven o’clock was not his idea of a good time, but it was unavoidable with Buffy around going to bed at a decent hour. He drummed his fingers nervously on the counter in barely-contained anticipation of the caffeine that he would be consuming.
The door to his bedroom was open, had been all night. He guessed it had something to do with the nightmares Buffy had been having. As long as there weren’t any barriers separating them, she could feel safe even though they weren’t sharing the bed. It had been quiet last night so Spike figured keeping the door open was keeping the nightmares at bay.
Nightmares. Nightmares her father had caused. The bastard needed to pay for what he’d done, not that Spike was exactly sure how he was going to accomplish that. Sure, he had ideas, which mostly consisted of scenarios involving blunt objects and a lot of blood, but they were just fantasies, nothing that would go as far as to be a real solution.
And the guy had money and power. There probably wasn’t even the slimmest chance of him getting close enough to Buffy’s father to do anything anyway.
It was more than just a simple promise he had made to his uncle now. What was originally an obligation help her because they had some family ties, had now turned into something much more. He cared for her, worried for her. Somehow she had found a place in his cold, dead heart and made it beat again.
That’s why it was so dangerous for them to be together. On a normal day and in a normal situation, Spike was the epitome of cool confidence. He had his temper on a short leash, not letting anything or anyone too close to matter. But Buffy… On how many occasions had he lost it with her around?
He couldn’t control himself around her. His emotions were running in high gear now. Not just his anger, but his libido as well. And he’d thought about going out and just banging some chick until he was too spent to even think about his sweet little Buffy. It wouldn’t help though. The kind of feelings and lust he had for her were not going to be dulled by fucking a random chit in a seedy motel.
He was a bad, rude man. If he had any honor at all, he would just stop all of this carrying on with Buffy. She was too innocent to be taken advantage of by the likes of him.
And yet, here he was, wandering to the bedroom to watch her sleep, his cup of jet-fuel coffee in hand.
Buffy awoke to the feeling of being watched.
“Are you awake, luv?”
It was only Spike. For a minute there, she had been terrified out of her mind that her father had found her.
Turning over, she found him sitting in the red leather chair that sat in the corner of the room with a coffee mug in his hands. His platinum blond curls were wild from sleep and he had a day’s worth of stubble on his chin. He wore only a pair of faded blue jeans, his chest and feet were bare. He looked yummy.
“I’m awake,” she replied shyly, pulling the sheet up to her chin.
“That’s good because Anya is comin' in little less than an hour t’ pick you up.”
She shut her eyes. “Crap! I almost forgot.”
The minute Spike had kissed her last night, she had forgotten all about Anya and their shopping trip. He had a way of making her oblivious to anything else but him. Not that she minded so much, but it tended to be a problem when she couldn’t even remember her name after a simple touch.
“Yeah, you should probably get ready,” he told her in a rough voice.
His darkened blue eyes raked over her form and Buffy felt a shudder go through her. Just a look had her melting into a pool of needful goo. “What if I don’t want to go?”
He took a visible breath and expelled it shakily. “If you aren’t goin’, then I’m comin’ in. You look absolutely delicious wrapped in my sheets, pet.”
As much as she would love to take him up on his offer (or was it closer to a promise?), she wasn’t ready to go any further than they’d already been and she had agreed to go with Anya today.
“I’d better get ready,” she finally said, pulling back the covers and sitting up.
His lower lip poked out a little into a pout. “That’s a shame. I can think of a much better way t’ spend your time than spendin’ money and tryin’ on clothes.”
“Oh? And what way is that?”
“Well,” he began, his tongue curling up behind his teeth. “First off, instead of tryin’ on clothes, you’ll be takin’ ‘em off.”
Her cheeks reddened in a furious blush. He certainly had that dirty talk thing down to an exact science. Well, two could play at that game.
“What else?”
His eyes widened in shock. Apparently, he hadn’t been expecting her to respond that way. “Don’t roll the dice if you’re not ready for the numbers you get, luv.”
He was warning her to stop before she got in too deep. There was logic to that even though her body was protesting the sudden end of their little game.
Nodding, she stood up and walked over to where he was sitting. “You’re right. I have to get ready,” she told him before kissing him softly on the lips.
She was a fool to think he would let her get away with just a peck. Setting his coffee cup down on the small table next to the chair, he pulled her into his lap. His large hand wrapped itself in her hair and he let his tongue slip into her mouth to caress her own.
“Baby, you don’t have any idea what you’re doin’ t’ me,” he mumbled, breaking the kiss for the slightest moment before latching onto her throat.
His tongue darted out to lick his way down to her collarbone, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. A hand came up to cup her small breast and she arched into it. God, he was setting her ablaze, her breath coming out in short pants. A tingling throb settled between her legs and her stomach started flip-flopping.
He brushed his thumb across her hard nipple and she let out a moan. She felt a pressure building up inside her body and she recognized it from the morning before. Soon, she would be exploding into a million blissful pieces.
“Spike,” she whispered in a breathy moan.
Saying his name must have broken his concentration because he looked up at her suddenly. His jaw tightened and he put some distance between them.
“You should get ready,” he told her, his eyes focusing on her shoulder instead of her face.
She frowned. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, kitten. Its jus’ that I can’t seem t’ control myself around you.” He brought his finger up to trace the line of her cheekbone. “Nothin’ that you could do would ever be wrong. So no worries, yeah?”
“Okay,” she replied, then got up and walked to the door. “I’m going to go and take a shower.”
“Sure, luv.”
She gave him a bright smile before bouncing off to the bathroom where she jumped in the shower.
By the time she was finished getting ready, Anya was already waiting for her.
“Hey! You ready to go?” Anya asked, standing up from her seat on the couch.
“Yeah,” Buffy replied, glancing over at Spike who was smiling at her.
As they were about to leave, Spike walked over to her and took her hand. “Here, you might need this.”
Buffy lifted her hand to find several hundred dollar bills. “Oh, Spike, you don’t have to-”
“Enough, luv. Take it and have a great time. I’ll see you when you get back,” he told her. Then he leaned down to her ear and whispered, “Then you can try your pretties on for me, hmm?”
She was still blushing as they pulled into the mall’s parking lot.
“What did he say to you?”
“Huh?” Buffy looked over at Anya, who was tapping the steering wheel with her fingers.
“You are bright red, a sure sign that whatever Spike whispered into your ear before we left was naughty,” she said nonchalantly.
It was obvious? Geez, so much for keeping her feelings for Spike a secret. The question was could she trust Anya?
Anya knew she had run away and she got the feeling Spike had filled in at least one of the Harris’ on the details and yet neither Anya nor Xander had made any attempts to call the authorities. But running away from an abusive parent was something most people could sympathize with. Having a relationship with a man eleven years her senior was something that was still quite taboo especially since she was still technically under age.
“I know there’s something going on. You might as well tell me before I try to piece it together.”
“You’re going to think Spike’s a bad guy if I tell you,” Buffy replied, hoping Anya wouldn’t drag it out any farther.
“Trust me, I don’t think my opinion is going to change about Spike. I’ve known him for a few years now, so there’s not too much that you could say that would shock me,” Anya told her.
Well, she did already know something was up and Buffy desperately needed someone to talk to that wasn’t Spike.
“There’s something going on. I don’t know what to call it though,” Buffy admitted.
“Tell me what happened and I’ll figure it out for you.”
Taking a deep breath for courage, Buffy proceeded to tell Anya what had happened the morning before and everything since then. She couldn’t tell what Anya was thinking since her face was expressionless and just when she thought she had made a mistake by telling, Anya laughed loudly.
Uh, that was not the reaction she was expecting.
“So do you want him?” Anya asked bluntly, her eyes full of curiosity.
“Well, I, uh-”
“You do.” Anya finished for her. “Look, Buffy, you’re not a child. You are old enough to make sex decisions for yourself. I’m not saying you should jump on the Spike train, but if you’re ready to be with him that way then do it. If you’re not, then don’t.”
“You make it sound so easy,” Buffy replied.
“That’s because it is. It’s a yes or no kind of a thing. If you are having doubts, then you’re not ready.”
“But he’s so much older than I am and then there’s the whole related thing that-”
“First of all, you aren’t related, so get that out of your pretty little head. Secondly, what does age have to do with anything? I lost my virginity to a guy that worked with my dad and he was way older than Spike is. And I’m three years older than Xander,” Anya told her.
Buffy giggled. “I don’t think that’s the same thing.”
Anya rolled her eyes. “Well, whatever. The point is you can’t help who you are sexually attracted to.”
“I thought you were going to say ‘you can’t help who you love’.”
“You can’t, but I didn’t think love had anything to do with it so I didn’t mention it.”
Did love have anything to do with it? She had never been in love before so she wasn’t sure she could tell even if she was.
“Do you love him?”
“I don’t know. How can I tell?”
“Well, if you can’t tell you’re probably not in love or in some serious denial. Trust me, when you do fall in love, you’ll know.”
Hello, vague?! How the hell was that supposed to help her?
“You’re looking at me like you’re confused. Why are you confused?”
Buffy sighed. “I just wish I knew what to do. I mean, we haven’t known each other for very long, but he makes me feel so good. I haven’t had that in such a long time.”
“I know, sweetie. But you’re here with Spike now and you have me and Xander too. Things will work themselves out, you’ll see.” Anya put a hand on her arm.
“I hope so.”
“Now, let’s go blow some money on stuff we don’t need! That always makes me feel better,” Anya said enthusiastically.
Buffy smiled. “Okay”