Who’s That Knocking at My Door?
Buffy spluttered incoherently while she turned a becoming shade of crimson.
“Kinda the whole point,” Buffy mumbled, embarrassed.
“Then why don’t you place equal- if not more- blame on him?” William persevered. His demon was desperate to understand her reasoning in this matter.
Buffy took a deep breath. There was something about William that encouraged her to speak gently to him, to be patient and to answer all his questions. “I instigated it. If I hadn’t pushed it, none of it would have happened. I‘m responsible for Angel losing his soul.”
“No, you’re not,” Anya announced with finality.
“Huh?” Buffy looked at the outspoken ex-vengeance demon in confusion.
“Well you got it wrong. You keep talking about his soul as if it’s this miraculous thing, but it’s not. It’s a curse. It was a form of punishment for the rape, torture, and murder of a potential slayer,” Anya enlightened them all.
“What’s that you say?” Giles demanded, shocked.
Anya graced the watcher with a confused look. “Why do you think she was so special to the gypsies?”
“Did Angelus know that?” Buffy broke in, suspicion making her voice hard.
“Drusilla informed him,” William answered quietly.
“It’s not really important,” Anya dismissed the matter to return to her earlier subject. “You have to get it in perspective, Buffy. I’ve seen this sort of thing too many times. Women who’ve done nothing wrong are forced to go through life with unrealistic views on one man that no other man can compete with. It just leads to the woman having a miserable life.
“You didn’t do anything to him. He didn’t lose his soul, he broke his curse. In any other circumstance, a slayer would have called that a good thing.” Anya was really beginning to warm up to the subject. All her years at being a vengeance demon had given her an insight into the ways woman can allow themselves to be manipulated by clever men. It was always the very young that were the hardest to re-educate.
“Your problem, Buffy, is that you had this unrealistic view of Angel. You looked at him with the eyes of a very inexperienced child and you mistook the idea of being in love with actually being in love. I’m not saying that you didn’t love him. You did. But it was as a child loves, not as an adult loves, and because of all the bad that happened, you never got the chance to discover that on your own. You’ve packed it away with a pretty bow in your memories and have refused to look at it again too deeply. If you were really honest with yourself, you’d take a good long look at the relationship, from an adult’s point of view. You might discover it isn’t what you thought.” Anya spoke emotionally, with an air of compassion that was uncharacteristic of her.
“You act as if Angel is the real person and Angelus is the façade. It’s the other way around. Angelus is the reality and Angel is the act. Angelus is always there. Angel is just a by-product of Angelus’ curse. The Angel that you have locked safe and sound in your heart never existed.”
“Buffy, you cannot continue to blame yourself for the actions of another. A combination of factors led to Jenny’s death, not the very least was Jenny herself. William is quiet right in saying that Angel had a hundred years to research the curse. We found all the information in a matter of weeks. Had he looked, he would have found it also.” Giles paused for a moment. He had something he felt needed to be said but didn’t want to hurt the girl more that she already was. “I have always wondered why an innocent soul required redemption. The information that Anya has provided us with tells us that the soul was not as innocent as Angel always led us to believe.”
An unvoiced suspicion formed in all their minds, ‘What else had Angel failed to mention?’
Buffy suggested they get something for dinner. She needed time to consider what Anya had told her and food always helped her think. As they waited for the pizza to arrive, Buffy decided to broach another subject that had sparked her curiosity with the blonde vampire-no-more. “Um, William?” she started hesitantly, waiting for his full attention. “Will the demon let you tell me why he loves me, why he didn’t want me to know, and why you don’t approve?”
Watching William’s face, Buffy was struck with the thought that it looked like there was a lot going on inside his mind and it would probably be a pretty confusing place to be.
“The way you were treated today is the way the real Spike would treat you. From my point of view; Miss Rosenberg’s spell was fortuitous. You were given the chance to see the man behind the mask. What you need to understand is that the demon loves all aspects of you. He loves the Slayer, her power, her skills, and especially the sense of humour she displays. He adores fighting with her as her equal and would never have dreamed of taking the upper hand had he ever gained it.” William chortled a little at the internal pouting of the demon that was upset at not being able to even spar with the lady anymore.
“The girl has also captured his heart. Your gentle nature, your soft heart; the way you try and never give up. He watches you and it makes him very cross that others seem to take advantage of you. You give of yourself selflessly. He loves the parts of you that show you are a Summer’s woman and he would willingly dust himself to protect both you and your mother.”
Smiling shyly at her, William continued. “He didn’t want you to know, because he was afraid that one of your friends or your watcher would dust him for daring to love you. He didn’t want Angelus to know, because he knew that Angelus would take it as a personal threat to his claim on you. He would be forced to accept staking because he knew that you would never forgive him for harming Angelus.”
“You keep calling him Angelus?” Giles asked, curious.
“The demon makes the claim, Mr. Giles,” William informed the watcher.
“Are you saying he claimed her?” the Watcher demanded, incensed at the thought.
“Oh! I do apologize. I thought you knew.”
Buffy was confused again. “What does that mean?”
“It means that Angel believes you are his property.” Ripper snarled. As far as he was concerned the brunette vampire was a dusting waiting to happen. He prayed that Buffy would feel the same way. “It means that he can control you, coerce you into doing whatever he wants you to do. Luckily, we can get Angel to reverse the claim when he gets here.”
“And if he orders Buffy to kill William?” Anya demanded. She knew exactly how a claim worked. Buffy wouldn’t stand a chance against an order from him. “I say we break the controlling aspect of the claim before he gets here.”
“I wasn’t aware that could be done,” Giles admitted in pleased surprise.
Anya nodded happily. “Oh, yes. Of course, the easiest way would be if Spike counter-claimed her, but it would cause him a great deal of pain. A family claim wouldn’t work because they’re the same family. So, unfortunately it’s going to mean more magic. I’m going to have to adjust the protection spell to include the claim. Please know that I will not resort to magic every time you have a problem, I don’t believe in using magic just because I can.”
“He could do that?” Buffy asked in a small voice. The slayer side of her was screaming at the idea of being claimed by the evil that was Angelus. The Buffy side of her just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. She felt so betrayed. That he could claim her and then leave her anyway brought home everything Anya had said. She thought that he loved her; she was starting to doubt that he ever had.
William patted her hand in an attempt to appease the demon inside him that was screaming at him to comfort the precious girl.
Buffy, the girl, grabbed on to the attention he was offering with both hands. A combination of the wonderfully sweet things William had said about her and the truth about Angel made the insecure girl desperate for some affection.
“I’m sorry, Miss Buffy, but unfortunately the fact is that he could do that and a great deal more besides. I wish I could offer you more. My demon is enraged, he also thought you knew. It is unheard of to make a claim on someone and not inform them. And then to have the unmitigated gall to just walk away from you? The beast should be flogged.” William spat in disgust.
Desperate to think of something else while Anya and Giles worked together to change the parameters of the spell, Buffy returned to her earlier question. “Why don’t you approve of your demon loving me?” she asked with innocent guile.
“He is beneath you; unworthy of your affection. His love may be pure, but he is not,” William explained his reasoning.
“Okay, but I don’t understand how he can love me but you don’t?”
“Miss Summers, I never said that I didn’t love you, but my feelings are irrelevant. If the demon is not worthy of you, then neither am I,” he told her gently. He didn’t tell her that he was also extremely reluctant to have his heart broken yet again.
Before Buffy had the opportunity to address William’s little revelation, Anya announced that the spell was ready. As soon as she completed it, a knock at the door heralded the arrival of the food. Soon all four were enjoying various types of pizza and William’s heart-warming reactions to it.
“Anya, when you said that Spike, Angel, and the other one might survive the venom because of their souls, why didn’t you also say Dru? Didn’t you say she has her soul too?” Buffy asked, curiously.
“Yes she has her soul, but she isn’t mentally stable enough to survive the attack,” the ex-demon explained.
“Makes sense. You also called the group ‘your’ team, which would kinda indicate that you don’t think you’re part of the scoobies?”
“That’s alright, Buffy. I understand that you wouldn’t want an ex-demon on the team of the Slayer,” Anya said sadly, obviously hurting at the thought.
Buffy ignored her distress and waved her hand dismissively. “You were right in suggesting that I should ask Spike to join the team, and as soon as we’ve got him all fixed up, I will. But, you’ve been on the team for a while, you should know that. Shouldn’t she know that, Giles?” Buffy batted her eyelashes at her amused watcher.
“Quite right!” he smiled as he spoke.
“May I ask a question?” William asked hesitantly, still unsure as to his place.
“Shoot,” Buffy said.
“Miss…Oh I do apologise, I don’t know your surname.” William looked highly embarrassed.
Anya preened delightedly. It had been a very long time since someone had addressed her so formally. “It’s Jenkins.”
“Miss Jenkins,” William smiled and bobbed his head in acknowledgement. “I have noticed a certain…er…reticence on your part when it comes to refraining from private matters.”
Anya noticed the look of confusion on Buffy’s face and smiled at the girl. “He’s saying I talk about sex too much.”
“My demon has a suggestion,” William offered cautiously.
Anya grinned at Buffy’s look of trepidation. “What’s the suggestion?” she asked.
“Do you remember what it was like when you were first discovering your own…ah…sexuality?” William said as he blushed at his own boldness.
“Of course, I was embarrassed when anyone mentioned anything about sex in front of me,” she replied, shrugging.
“Perhaps if you consider that everyone you associate with is at that point in their sexuality, it might make it easier for you to understand their reactions.” William struggled to get out his point without breaking out in a nervous sweat.
Anya took a moment to think about what he had said and then did something she had not done for a very long time – she blushed. “Oh, well, yes, I’ll…er…remember that.”
A loud pounding on the door saved the embarrassed ex-demon from the spotlight. With a firm nod from Buffy telling him it was the vampire they had been expecting, Ripper opened the door.
“You have two minutes to relinquish the claim you hold over my slayer or I will dust you,” Ripper snarled at the brunette before he had a chance to speak.
Two things happened simultaneously; Anya noticed the crystal turning red and Angel was suddenly surrounded by a smoky haze before he collapsed.
When Angel came to a few moments later, it was to see a bored looking watcher regarding him stoically. “Um, Giles, why am I on the ground outside your apartment?”
“What’s that last thing you remember, Angel?” Giles asked him coldly.
“You telling me about the prophecy,” Angel replied carefully, unsure how to act given the watcher’s obvious displeasure.
Giles knew with absolute certainty what prophecy Angel was talking about. It had to be the prophecy that had ended in the momentary death of his slayer. Turning back to the others, Giles let them know. “It appears she believes we would all be better off forgetting the last three years.”
“Giles, she has to be taught control or have her powers bound. She can’t be allowed to play with people’s memories.” Anya was furious that the little witch had tried to play god. Willow was so lucky that she was no longer a vengeance demon.
The phone rang and Buffy moved swiftly to answer it. After a hurried conversation, she hung up and then made a call of her own. Returning to the group she updated them. “That was mom; Willow called her panicking because she didn’t recognise the room she was in. I called her and told her you’d go get her Giles, that way you can pick up the spell too.”
Giles picked up his keys and headed out.
Angel watched him go then moved to the door. “Someone want to tell me what’s going on?”