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Author's Chapter Notes:
Enjoy... And I want to thank everyone for reading so far.
Chapter:


“I’m not shedding my clothes.“

“Oh, yeah you are.“

“No, I’m not… That’s improper.“

“It’s the 21st century, Grandma!“

“Don’t call me Grandma.“

“Geezer!”

“Stupid Slayer!“

“Prude Vampire!“

After arguing for a minute, the two headstrong women finally came to an agreement. Buffy pulled off her clothes and stood in front of Faith in her underwear. Buffy unconsciously lifted her hands to shield her private parts.

“We can work with this.” Faith smiled, noting on how perfect the blonde’s body was. She had no impurities on her skin - except for the multiple bite marks that marred both sides of her neck. Her skin was pale, but there was no natural way to fix that - hello vampire - but sometimes it was beautiful. Faith was almost certain that Blondie’s translucent skin would actually be a turn on for Spike. Faith was about to comment but the arrival of Anya interrupted her. After throwing a shopping bag onto the bed she turned to Buffy with a huge grin.

“Since my expertise are money, vengeance and sex I’m in charge of teaching you the basics of Sex.” She said, digging into the grocery store bag.

“I get makeover.” Faith added. Anya turned to Buffy and Buffy almost fainted at the sight. Her eyes opened widely and she felt bile rise in her throat.

“This is HAL.”

No matter how hard she tried no to, Buffy caught herself slowly and shyly looking back at the strange object. IT, she didn’t know what to call it, was standing ten inches tall in all it’s ceramic glory.

“This, Queeny, is the unofficial Penis God.” Anya said, holding it out towards Buffy, “Explore it, Learn it. Memorize the indents. Embrace it - embrace the Penis God.” She smiled, thinking Buffy understood. It shouldn’t take too much learning. After all, sex wasn’t too hard - at least it wasn’t to her. She took to it like a bird in flight.

“What am I suppose to do with… HAL?” Buffy asked, not making any movement to grab the statue from Anya. Apparently, the avenger of women scorned was wrong.

“Well, it’s an exact replica of my last fling. Apparently Felix - basically the Duan Juan DeMarco of the vampire world - had the biggest penis ever. It’s pretty impressive, that rumor is probably true. Anyways. I sense you have a fear of penises. I intend to rid you of that fear by making you get accustomed to it. Now! Hold it, go on. Get accustomed.”

Buffy felt like one of the dirty harlots from her time: sitting there in her knickers with a large obscene object in her hands. Two women in front of her, neither of them her friends but going great lengths to help her. “Okay… what now?” Buffy asked after staring at the penis. She was starting to calm down and get used to the feeling.

“Grab it firmly.”

Buffy did.

“Not with both hands. Jeez, your not wrestling it like an alligator. One hand please.”

Buffy held the penis upright with her knees and she took of her left hand. She held it firmly at the base, waiting for directions from the very experienced woman, “Now… slide your hand up and down, applying pressure at the base.”

Buffy moved the penis next to her on the bed, “I can’t do this… I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay.” Faith said before Anya could say something about Buffy’s inadequacy, “How about I take the reins for a few minutes, then Anya can take over again.”

Buffy had never been so thankful… that was, until she headed over to Buffy’s dresser and pulled out a pair of denim jeans. Faith brought them back to the bed and set them down next to the forgotten statue.

“Now… I know I saw some thread somewhere…” She whispered to herself.

“I have thread in the drawer over there.” Buffy pointed. Faith got the needle and thread and called Anya over, “Buffy, can you put your hair in a ponytail.”

Buffy did what Faith said to her. Anya found a scarf in a pile of clothes that Buffy had put away yet. She wet to Buffy and tied the scarf over her eyes. Buffy was blind.

Here Buffy was: in her underwear, with a blind fold, sitting next to an inhumanly large statue of a penis, in the same room as the Slayer and a demon, who both possibly had needles.

There was a ripping sound and a chuckle from the slayer. Buffy shivered. She’d known that was the sound of jean ripping - no doubt hers.

“Buffy.” She heard Anya say, “Why don’t you talk to Hal while we fix your wardrobe? He’s a good listener.

Buffy looked over the her side where she knew that HAL was, “So…HAL. Do you think Spike will like this? Will he like me more once I get all dollied up from him?”

After ten minutes, Buffy was pulled off the bed by Faith and then placed erect on the ground. Her body was maneuvered into different positions to make it easier for Faith to get her masterpiece on Buffy. After putting on both a skirt and a tank top, they took off the scarf. Buffy looked down at herself and almost had a heart attack. They had butchered her jeans and strategically turned them into a short skirt. Faith had somehow managed to find some safety pins to hold pieces together. They’d gotten one of her red tank tops and slashed the front, leaving open gashes that showed off parts of her black bra. Add in frayed edges and Faiths choker necklace Buffy looked stunning.

“I look horrible.” Buffy whispered.

“You do not.” Faith said.

“Trust Faith, she’s big on outfits. Normally I would go for nothing because that always gets a man hot and bothered. But Faith has a different opinion.” Anya explained.

“I guess it’s just me, but my kind of guys go for dominatrix. Anyways, Blondie, now it’s time for your makeup.” Faith said, returning to the bag. She returned a second later with eye liner, mascara and lipstick. The first thing Faith added was red lipstick that matched her ripped shirt. Then she put the eyeliner on thick and added a touch of mascara. Faith finished off by adding a pair of Buffy’s black boots.

“And now, it’s back to me.” Anya said, pushing Buffy onto the bed, “Now, there’s more than just learning the penis. There’s also kissing. I’m not gay. So Faith will have to teach you that.”

Before Buffy could protest, Faith had her hand behind Buffy’s head and was slowly pulling her in.

“You lean closer… wet your lips. Buffy! Don’t pull away! Do you want to learn or not? Okay…”

Their lips were centimeters apart, the distance kept shrinking. They closed in. It started out slow and shy. But then Faith’s tongue slid across Buffy’s lower lip. Buffy opened hers to allow passage. Their tongues danced, just like hers and Spike’s had hours before. But this wasn’t Spike. On remembering this, Buffy pulled away. This was all for Spike. Looking at Anya, she awaited what was next.

“No… Since you were born in the mid eighteen hundreds I’m taking a guess that you’ve never really gotten the sex talk?” Anya concluded.

Buffy nodded, partially ashamed.

“That’s fine.” Anya said, “I’ll just give it to you. When a male is aroused their penis gets bigger and harder. This is their semen head up to the seminal vesicle from the testes. There, it gets sperm. At the moment of intense pleaser, the semen shoot’s out. This is called ejaculation. A man usually ejaculates in a woman’s vagina. The vagina climaxes too. When this happens - for both male and female - it’s called an orgasm because it’s an intense feeling that nobody can know until it happens. Now, it does hurt the first time, but the pain will go away and be replaced with pleasure. Sometimes, orgasms can be caused orally. That’s when the woman sucks the mans penis and the man does the equivalent to the woman’s vagina. They are both pleasing.”

Anya dug into the bag and pulled out a book.

“Tonight, when you have sex with William the Bloody -” Anya was saying, but Buffy interrupted her.

“I’m not having sex with Spike tonight!” Buffy argued, Anya shut her up with a palm in her face.

“ - this book can help. I suggest page 42. That one looks like a pretzel.” Anya said, she grabbed her bag, “Now, I’m going to go. D’Hoffrin’s not pleased with my vengeance count. Tomorrows going to be a big day if I want to up my quota.”

She disappeared with a small wave and a wink at Buffy.

“Now, Buffy, It’s time for the lioness to go on a prowl. Get your prey.” She pulled open the door and pushed Buffy out.

Spike and Giles looked up from a movie that they’d been watching to see Buffy. Spike’s pants instantly tightened when he saw. The couple stared at eachother, lost in their own little world. Faith joined Giles’s side and then pointed towards the door.

“Patrol?”

“Yes.”

They left. Spike walked to Buffy and stopped when their chests were touching.

“What happened?” Spike asked, grabbing the side of Buffy’s top. She immediately became self conscious.

“I’m sorry, Spike, they insisted.” She felt like running to her room and hiding.

“No, It’s looks great, but… Why?”

Buffy couldn’t stop herself before she said it, “They said that if I wanted you, I needed help to get your attention. I wanted to speed up the soon. So they gave me a makeover, shredded my clothing, and gave me the sex talk with HAL.”

“S-Sex talk, Luv?”

Buffy nodded, Spike felt his pants get tighter.

“You wanted it sooner?” Spike asked, staring down at his bulging jeans.

“Yes.”

“Is right now soon enough?” Spike asked. Buffy felt butterflies in her stomach as Spike lifted her up in his arms and carried her into her room. He closed the door and mentally reminded himself that he needed to listen to the right head.

I have to go slow. Control yourself.


Authors Note: Next chapter is going to be a first for me so it might take a little while for me to get it good enough for the story. So bear with me while I perfect. Reviews please :)





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