Six
His words hung in the air between them, leaving Buffy frozen with shock and Spike not much better off. He was first to react, swearing heavily. “Fuck. Bloody hell, kitten. I’m . . . I didn’t mean to blurt that out like that.”
Buffy’s mouth was dry, and she had stopped breathing completely. She tried to speak, her voice high and thready. “Me?” She cleared her throat and tried again, as her heart thudded with a crazy rhythm. “You love me?”
“Yeah.” He ran a hand through his unruly curls, his eyes averted from hers, focusing on the ground and the scuffed toes of his Doc Martens. “Yeah, I do. Jus’ didn’t mean to scare you like that.”
“I’m not scared.” That was the one thing she knew for sure. She wasn’t. What she had been scared of was being alone in her emotions. He’d just quashed any worry she might have been feeling, and she needed to tell him that very quickly. “Will? Would you look at me, please?”
Their voices had dropped so that even the boys in front of them couldn’t overhear their words, and he looked up quickly to find a small smile playing about her lips. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
His heart constricted and he couldn’t hide the fear at all. This is the part, mate, where she breaks your heart an’ lets you down not so easily. He braced himself for the harsh words, only to have the wind knocked out of him when her smiled brightened, nearly blinding him. “I love you too, you know.”
Spike stared at her, not quite believing his ears. “You do?”
“Ahuh.”
He laughed, the noise loud and raucous and swooped over to lift her high in his arms, twirling them both around. Spike was laughing, mostly in relief, and he didn’t care about anything else in that moment. His heart was pounding so hard he could barely breathe and his head was swimming, but he didn’t care.
Buffy loved him.
That was enough to make up for all the stares they were getting, all the questions that were about to explode. It was enough. More than enough.
It was everything.
He kept repeating it, over and over between big, smacking kisses, his voice almost crowing. “I love you. Love you, kitten.”
Buffy was just as hysterical, her laughter interspersed with happy tears, as much from watching him and feeling his reaction as her own.
“Mr. Giles?” The tone of voice clued him in that this wasn’t the first time his name had been called, and Spike picked his head up, leaving Buffy’s lips reluctantly.
“Yeah?”
“Um, I don’t really mean to interrupt you, but could I speak to both of you in private?”
Tilting his head and glancing down at the dazed woman in his arms, Spike’s eyes darkened. “What for?”
Scoutmaster Finn had the grace to look embarrassed. “Ah, well, I’d rather not do this in front of an audience.” He motioned away from the camp, toward the road. “If you don’t mind?”
“Yeah, sure. No worries.” Spike’s hand drifted down to clasp Buffy’s and they shared a look. He had a feeling he knew what this little discussion was going to be about, and he wasn’t going to allow this wanker to lecture either of them. Nothing wrong had been done, they weren’t cheating on spouses, and the children, for the most part, were none the wiser.
Buffy flexed her fingers around his and he glanced down in time to see worry enter her eyes. Tugging on her hand, Spike brought it up to his mouth, laying a kiss on the back. Leaning down to whisper in her ear, he said, “Jus’ remember what I said, kitten.”
Her smile took his breath away and she blushed beautifully. “How could I forget?”
Their combined happiness lasted until Finn turned on his heel and leveled at stare that would have done a drill sergeant proud. “I’ve had a few complaints about . . . “ He faltered under Spike’s growing anger. “Well, they weren’t really complaints; they were more like a couple of comments.”
He hesitated, shifting nervously, then blurted out, “One of the parents overheard you in the middle of the night. And she thought it wasn’t. . . “ His voice drifted off, as he noted with some trepidation the muscles of Spike’s jaw ticking. Finn held up his hands, trying to placate the obviously irate man. “I have a responsibility to mention it.”
“Do you? Or are you just lookin’ to give us a hard time ‘coz we don’t fit right with the rest of you lot?” He let go of Buffy’s hand, his fists balling at his sides. “Don’t rightly care what bug crawled up your arse, but give it a rest. There’s none of the children knew what we were gettin’ up to, so no harm’s done.”
“It doesn’t look right.” A dark blush bloomed on Finn’s face and Spike knew the man was a prude. Probably saluted his wife before he got into bed beside her every night.
“What? Two people in love doesn’t look right?” Spike took a menacing step forward, and the bigger man flinched again. “Tell me somethin’, mate, did you sleep with your wife last night?”
Finn spluttered, shaking his head. “That’s not the same and you know that.”
Spike poked his chest with two fingers. “How is it not the same? You love your wife, yeah? Well, I love Buffy, an’ it doesn’t get any simpler than that.” He stepped closer, forcing the other man back. “I’ve dealt with bigger fish than you more than half my life, mate.” He snarled the last word, his lips sneering as he peered up at the bigger man, “An’ I’ve never fuckin’ backed away from somethin’ I wanted.”
Buffy’s hand on his arm brought Spike’s temper down a few notches and he eased off, stepping away from Finn. “Don’ you dare take this out on the boys or Buffy. There’s nothin’ wrong with what we were doin’, jus’ your twisted, tight assed mind that makes it so.”
Spike turned to Buffy, folding his hand over hers and dropped a kiss on her forehead. “C’mon, kitten, let’s get the boys ready to go.”
He resolutely turned his back on the indignant Finn, tugging Buffy along behind him.
An hour later and everything was packed up, the boys in Buffy’s car, while Spike’s held all the gear. Buffy and Spike were standing together beside her car, deciding on where to stop for breakfast. After a few moments of playful wrangling, they compromised on The Pancake House. Spike kissed her quickly and opened her car door.
The boys were engrossed in their Game Boys, neither one of them paying the least bit of attention to what had gone on just beyond their noses, and Spike swooped in for another kiss. They ended up making out like a pair of teenagers against the car door, and didn’t stop until they heard Wesley remark, “Xander, have you ever kissed a girl?”
“Ew. No.”
Neither boy had even bothered to look away from their games. Spike shared a look with Buffy, both of them sporting goofy grins, which gave way to laughter with Xander’s next remark.
“Girls aren’t any fun unless they play with Legos.”
Buffy ducked her head into the open window. “Are you guys ready to get out of here?”
Both of them said ‘yes’ without lifting their heads up from the Game Boys, and she shook her head, laughter still sparkling in her eyes. “You hungry?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, that was really enthusiastic. Could you tear yourselves away from the games for a minute?” When they both glanced up, she said, “We’re going for breakfast, that okay with you two?”
Wesley nodded his head, “Yes, Mrs. Summers.”
“Can we go now, Mom?” Xander whined a bit, and she raised an eyebrow, not saying a word. She didn’t really have to. “Sorry. Can we go?”
Buffy yelped when Spike slapped her butt, straightening up quickly when his hand soothed the area. She playfully pushed him away, wagging a finger at him. “Now, now, Mr. Giles. You know we can’t have any of that in front of the children.”
Spike growled at her, grabbing her up in another hug. “Keep it up, little girl, and the kiddies’ll really get an eyeful.”
“Promises, promises. “ She returned the kiss, then quickly moved away. “If we don’t go now, we’ll be here all day just talking about it.”
“Right then. Meet you there.” He opened the car door for her, ushering her inside. Leaning down into the open window, he brushed a quick kiss on her forehead. “Love you.”
Her answering smile nearly blinded him and she blew him a kiss as she put the car into gear and pulled away. Spike watched them drive off, laughing when she stuck her head out the window and yelled, “Love you too!”
The boys were engrossed in their games, and Buffy figured it was safe enough for her to head to the bathroom before their food arrived. Spike had been distracted, humming and writing something down on a napkin from the moment they sat down. He looked up quickly when she excused herself, smiling when she motioned to the bathroom but staying silent.
She was gone about ten seconds when Spike looked at the boys. “Listen up you two. Can you stay put for a mo?”
“Sure, Uncle Will.” Wesley looked up at him, pushing his glasses up on his nose. “You going to get your guitar?”
“Yeah. Don’t you move from this spot.” Spike surged to his feet, looking down at the two. “Promise me.”
“I promise.”
When Xander didn’t answer, Spike thumped him gently on the head. He yowled, rubbing his head. “Your promise, too.”
“Okay. I promise.” He said it so grudgingly that Spike knew he wasn’t going to move.
He was out to the car and back before Buffy returned, his guitar and notebook in hand. Fame sometimes had its privileges, and he was very happy to play that card. He’d gotten them to open up one of the small private dining areas, one they only opened on holidays, so even though the manager didn’t recognize him, two of the waiters had and they had their privacy.
Shaking his head at the picture of the two boys so engrossed in their games they didn’t notice he’d returned, Spike took his guitar out of the case and focused on his own distraction.
The words came easily, almost writing themselves, though the melody was giving him a bit of a problem. He’d have to run it past his band mates, see what Gunn and Lindsey thought of it. Spike was halfway through the second verse when he finally noticed Buffy was back. Feeling eyes on him, he looked up to see her sitting quietly, elbows propped up on the table, her chin resting in her palms, watching him. A soft, dreamy smile was playing about her lips and her eyes were sparkling. She blushed beautifully when he caught her staring and she looked down at the scribblings on the paper.
“What’s that?”
“Jus’ somethin’ that popped into my head.”
She reached for it then pulled her hand back. “Would you let me see it?”
“‘S not finished yet.” He looked down at what he’d hastily scribbled there, changed one thing, then pushed the battered notebook toward her. It used to bother him, sharing his lyrics before they were done, but he was long past worrying about that. Besides, this song, like the last one, was all about her. She might as well see it first.
He held his breath, waiting for her reaction.
At first Buffy didn’t really see the lyrics, she was overwhelmed by how he’d just handed them over without even flinching. Then she read the words written in his flowing script and gasped.
It's not that she scares me as much as the fear of giving so much and needing so little
of loving so gently, my heart never meant me to fall.
Inside her eyes.
Now I could be giving, too much away by the way that I'm moving, everything I say. Now don't say you won't try to tell me you don't feel the same, I picture your eyes, I whisper your name.
Inside I'm screaming, outside I'm sane, as soon as you're leaving, I need you again, I'm left with my dreaming, it's just not the same. As inside her eyes that's where I want to be Inside her eyes, that's where I want to be.
After she’d read through the lyrics a second time, Buffy lifted her eyes and stared at him. “When did you. . . Just now?”
“Yeah, well, the words have been in m’head for a bit, an’ I just now put ‘em on paper.” He watched her, staring closely at her face, noting that despite the fatigue he could see, she was luminous. She glows in the light. . . and she’s all I ever wanted.
More lyrics flooded his brain, but before he could grab his notebook back from her, one of the star-struck waiters was back with their order.
“Will, you’re humming.” He didn’t realize it until Buffy pointed it out to him.
“Am I?” He had just swallowed a mouthful of home fries and bacon and shook his head. “Working somethin’ out in my head again.”
“Is it that song?” She pushed around her pancakes, not daring to look up at him.
He’d shoveled in another mouthful while she was talking and he all he did was shake his head, until he realized she wasn’t looking at him. “No. ‘Nother one.”
She gaped at him then, her mouth hanging open. “Another song?”
He chuckled. “Yeah.”
“So quickly? Is that normal?” She was staring at him, a forkful of chocolate chip pancakes halfway to her mouth. “You write like this all the time?”
He half snorted his answer, “Hardly. Don’t always get inspired like this. Sometimes it’s jus’ the words, sometimes the music. When I’m really lucky, I get both together.”
“So you’re getting lucky?” She realized a half second after she finished speaking what she’d actually said and Buffy blushed once more, stealing a quick glance to make sure the boys hadn’t heard her.
Oh, I’m not lettin’ that one go without. . . “If you think we can leave the boys long enough, there’s a bathroom ‘round the corner. . . “ He laughed when she spluttered something unintelligible out, quickly reaching for her hand. “No, kitten, ‘m jus’ teasin’ you.” His thumb stroked over her hand, the touch reaching all the way through her. “But I plan on taking you up on that later.”
They stayed like that, their hands linked together until the waiter interrupted them again. After ensuring that everything was fine and they didn’t really need anything else, he went off and Buffy started eating again.
Spike, on the other hand, couldn’t get the melody out of his head, nor the new lyrics that were swirling there. He grabbed the pen and notebook from her side of the table, and pushed his plate aside. Quickly scribbling out some lyrics, he kept humming and drumming his other hand on the table. The boys ignored him, but Buffy was fascinated by the whole process. Before long he was partially satisfied with what he’d done and he picked up the guitar from the case and began softly strumming out the melody he’d been humming. At first it was very disjointed, a chord here and there, then he’d stop and write, another set of chords, then more writing. The process didn’t make any sense at all to her, but she was content to just watch him while he created.
Not once did he look up at her, though she knew he was more than aware of her presence and occasional staring. Instead he just plowed through, the urgent need to get it all down completely communicating itself easily. Finally, after endless minutes listening to the disjointed, almost jarring notes, the notes flowed smoothly from the guitar and he hummed along with it.
Buffy recognized this, and how he’d done it – was it just yesterday? – with that wonderful song he was calling ‘Bright Blue Rose’, and she waited, knowing he’d start singing the lyrics very shortly.
He didn’t disappoint her, though she wasn’t quite catching what he meant with the lyrics.
Let me wake up in your arms
Hear you say it's just alright
Let me be not dead and gone
So far away from life
Close my eyes
Hold me tight
And bury me deep inside your heart
All I ever wanted was you, my love
You're all I ever wanted is you, my love
You're all I ever wanted, just you
Let me never see the sun
And never see you smile
Never be so dead and so gone
Not far away from life
Just close my eyes
Hold me tight
And bury me deep inside your heart
All I ever wanted was you, my love
You're all I ever wanted is you, my love
You're all I ever wanted, you, oh my love
You're all I ever wanted, you, my love
That's the way it's always been
My heart keeps beating only for you Baby
Only for your loving
All I ever wanted was you, my love
You're all I ever wanted is you, my love
You're all I ever wanted, you, my love
You're all I ever wanted, you, my love
His eyes were closed as he was singing, a slight smile curving his mouth. Buffy wished he’d open his eyes, because she just knew she’d be able to see exactly what he was thinking in their depths. The chorus haunted her as he kept singing it, repeating it over and over, until she looked up to see him watching her reaction.
Buffy couldn’t speak, couldn’t force thoughts, much less words, to her tongue. She got the lyrics now. Oh boy, did she understand. Instead of speaking, unwilling to break the spell that had enveloped them, Spike launched into the song again, his voice firmer, his eyes never leaving hers. When he was done with that one, he segued into the other complete song he’d written this weekend, and Buffy didn’t bother hiding the tears swimming in her eyes. No one had ever – ever written a song about her before. And now, here was this man – this Grammy award wining, multi-million selling artist – sitting before her, with two songs inspired by her.
She was in love.
So she told him.
His wide grin told her more than any words could have expressed. Spike loosened his hold on the guitar, getting up to sit beside her. His arm sloped over her shoulders and he dropped a kiss against her temple, breathing out against her skin, “I love you, kitten.”
Well, kids, there you have it. . . it's all over but the epilogue. Hope you've enjoyed this romp as much as I have. Thanks so much for reading, and I appreciate everyone who's taken the time to leave a review. Nia