Chapter Four: Ghost of Women Future
Spike was cold. Scratch that, he was freezing. Shivering on his bed he reached for his covers, only to find them not there. Grumbling he sat up and that’s when he saw it: A figure all in white. Staring at it, he concluded it had to be a woman by not only the size, but from the fact that in the all white cloak, there were definitely the shape of breasts.
The cloak was almost pearlescent and the hood was long enough that it draped over the face of this Ghost.
“Lemme guess,” Spike drawled, “Ghost of Women Future?”
The Ghost nodded.
Climbing out of bed, Spike sighed heavily. “Do you talk?”
The Ghost shook her head.
“All right. I’m ready.” At that point, he just didn’t have it in him to goad the ghost into talking. He was tired and wrung out and from what he’d seen so far that night, and he was not looking forward to what else he was going to see. Though…though if he had already decided to make changes, then perhaps what she’d show him was the good things that were to come from those changes.
Slapping his hands together and rubbing them, Spike grinned. “More than ready, actually.”
Spike was back in his office. This time, he stood behind where his other self sat. Facing his other self was Buffy; a resplendent Buffy in sleek black pants, and a purple v-neck top that brought out her green eyes. Her hair was draped around her shoulders and she was beaming at him.
“So, when is the big day?” his other self asked her.
“Riley wants our wedding to happen soon, he says he can’t wait to marry me.”
“Can’t say I blame him, pet.”
“William, I’d really like it if you could come.”
“Of course I’ll come. Might even bring a date. Or not. We’ll see.”
Spike watched the scene before him in abject horror. Buffy was engaged? That was not how he imagined the future at all!
“Riley really wants to meet you,” Buffy continued. “He says I sing you praise all the time and he wants to meet the man that made me into such a great editor.”
“Well, thanks,” the other Spike said graciously. “Though when I taught you all I know, I didn’t think you’d take it somewhere else.”
Buffy smiled and looked down, sheepishly. “Well, you know how it goes…”
“I do. You met him, you liked him, and obviously vice versa. So, you left.”
Buffy frowned slightly. “I’m sorry, William.”
“Don’t be. You’re happy, yeah?”
Buffy nodded, “I am.”
“I’m happy, you’re happy. We’re all happy.”
Spike frowned at his other self and came round to look at him. He didn’t look happy, and if how he was feeling was any indicator, then he knew that his other self was definitely not happy. In fact, he felt sick. He felt the way he did when Dru left him only magnified by a thousand. This was Buffy. And while he could fully admit to himself now that he knew deep down he and Dru weren’t forever as he once thought, he knew that if he were given the opportunity to be with Buffy, they would be forever. Eternal.
“You stupid sod, say something!” he shouted at his other self that just sat there, smiling cordially at Buffy. “Tell her not to marry him! Tell her you love her instead.” He froze. “Bloody hell,” he whispered. His eyes widened and he looked at the Ghost of Women Future. “I love her. I do. I love Buffy Summers.”
The Ghost did nothing, didn’t even move a muscle.
“How far is this in the future?” Spike demanded. The Ghost held up three delicate fingers. “Months?” The Ghost shook its head. “Years?” The Ghost nodded.
“If I don’t change things, this is what will happen?”
The Ghost nodded.
“But I have to know at this point that I love her. I mean…how could I not? She’s the first person I seek in the morning when I arrive, the only one I can really talk to here. When I’m not…otherwise engaged, I seek her out. I become grumpy when I don’t have a chance to talk to her and I live to make her smile at me and to make her blush and oh God, I’m in love with Buffy Summers. I mean, I knew I felt something for her before, knew I wanted to be part of her life in some way, but after all I’ve learned tonight…I’ve fallen for her. She’s an angel, my sunshine, the light in my very dark tunnel and I just want to bask in her.” He shook his head as he looked to Buffy who was now telling him all about her wedding plans and Spike watched her, sadly. “I don’t want to hurt her if she’s happy with him. Don’t want to ruin it for her. She deserves happiness with all she has to deal with. She deserves a knight to swoop in and love her wholly. If this Riley bloke is the one…who am I to stop it?”
He watched sadly as Buffy bid his other self goodbye and walked out of the office. The Ghost pointed to her and Spike followed Buffy, down the hall and to the elevator. The doors dinged open and Darla was stepping out just before Buffy came on. Buffy stared at her, blankly, and Spike shook his head, “No,” he murmured. “No.”
The Ghost was pushing him onto the elevator, and Spike happily obliged. It was where he wanted to be anyway; near Buffy to feel her warmth and sunshine. He was completely bewildered when Buffy started to cry; heart wrenching sobs that compelled him to try and hold her, and he growled when he couldn’t.
“Buffy, what is it?” he whispered.
“Oh, William…” she whispered, wiping at her eyes. “I wish things could have been different. I just couldn’t wait for you, and I can’t even trust you. We’re better off as friends…I just wish I wanted my fiancé the way I’ve always wanted you.”
“Buffy, they can be different, I swear, they can be!” Spike gushed, wanting desperately to gather her to him and comfort her. “I’m going to change, luv, I am. I’m not going to be the same anymore, you can trust me. I’d never do anything to hurt you -- I love you, Buffy, I do, and I’m going to prove it to you--”
The doors dinged open and Buffy straightened. Stepping out from the elevator, she was gathered into the arms of a tall, oafish, plain looking bloke whom he assumed was Riley.
“Hello, my love,” the man greeted her, smothering her in kisses that she did not seem to want at that moment in time. “How was your visit with William?”
“Fine, Riley,” Buffy said, trying to smile and failing miserably.
“Come on, we have lots to do this afternoon. I want to get a jump start on getting ready for our new house, doesn’t that sound like fun?”
Spike grimaced; did he have to talk to her as if she were a child?
“How about we do that later, Riley? I thought maybe we could go ice skating or--”
“Well, hon, I’ve had it in my head that this was what we were going to do today. You know how I hate going against our schedule.”
“She wants to go ice skating, you git, you take her ice skating!” Spike shouted.
Buffy sighed and nodded, “Okay, Ri.”
“Tomorrow we’ll go, okay, honey?”
“Yes, Ri.”
He took a step toward her, desperately wanting to follow her as Riley blathered on about something Buffy didn’t appear to be listening to (nor him for that matter), when he stepped back into his office. He turned to the Ghost that was next to him. “I ever tell you that I fucking hate being fooled like that? I wanted to be with her!”
“Okay, lover, I’m ready.”
Spike turned to see Darla, spread out like a Christmas feast on his desk while his other self stood, looking a tad disoriented, and fully dressed.
“I’m talking to you,” his other self said, the hurt apparent in his voice. “I was trying to tell you about Buffy’s wedding coming up.”
Darla rolled her eyes. “I don’t come here for talk, Spike. I come here for sex. I don’t date you – I have a boyfriend, remember? Now, I only have an hour, could you get over here and fuck me already?”
Spike watched in disgust as his other self started to disrobe. “Get me out of here!” he roared. “I can’t fucking watch this!”
With a snap he was back in his apartment. “I’m not going to let things happen like that,” he told the Ghost, pointing at her. “I’m not. I’m going to change things. I’m going to be what she needs – already it’s more than what that white bread is giving her.” Spike shook his head and started to pace. “Fucking schedule he has for her…she wanted to go ice skating!” He stopped and stared at the Ghost. “Do you say anything?”
The Ghost stood there, mute.
Angrily, Spike stalked over to it and whipped off the hood revealing--
“Buffy,” he breathed, gazing down at her reverently.
“Not her,” the Ghost stated.
He dropped his hands in defeat. “I know, I just…wish. She’s…she won’t be happy with him?”
“Riley is a good man, he’s just predictable. He’s safe and secure and--”
“And everything that is not me, right?” Spike murmured. “I get it. So, she’s not exactly happy and I’m…I’m just a fucking mess--”
“You’re the same, just with feelings attached. Not that you didn’t have feelings before, but well, you weren’t very good at admitting to them. You and Buffy will suffer from wanting what you think you cannot have – and for Buffy’s part, she will suffer thinking that even if she were able to get it, she wouldn’t be able to trust it. Riley is a simple man, but like I said, a good man. He supports her even if he doesn’t always listen to her.”
“I would listen,” Spike said vehemently. “I would listen to her. If my Buffy wanted to go ice skating in eighty degree heat, and there were no rinks around, I’d find a way to take her. Do anything to keep her happy, I would.”
“Your Buffy?” the Ghost smirked.
Spike shot it a wary, and yet amused grin. “You’re a little like my Buffy. I know that girls got sass in her.”
“You have seen it, though she doesn’t show it often.”
“No,” Spike shook his head, “She doesn’t. But she will.”
“That so?”
“You challenging me?” Spike asked with a raised brow.
Buffy the Ghost smiled, “Perhaps I am.”
“Well you needn’t challenge me to force me to get what needs to be done, done. I’m gonna make her happy.”
“And you? Are you going to make you happy?”
“I’m not happy now, am I?” he said rhetorically. “I don’t see how stopping the way I’ve been and going for the woman I really want – the woman I love – is going to make me unhappy. I’ve made a right mess of things with myself, my family, with Buffy and with Harmony. It’s time to fix those things, time to make them better.”
“I don’t know how he could stand it,” Spike shook his head. “How he could sit there and listen to her talk about her wedding and not say anything. And yet I get it. If he thought she was happy – if I thought she was happy – I wouldn’t stand in her way.”
“That is the mark of someone that truly loves and cares for another,” Ghost Buffy said, smiling. “So, I take it the things you’ve seen tonight helped open your eyes to what you were missing – not just with Buffy, but with yourself as well.”
Spike nodded adamantly. “Yes, God, yes.”
“Good. The gang and I have been talking and we were wondering if there was something different we could do, but this has proven to be most effective when employed.”
Spike stared at her.
Ghost Buffy burst into laughter. “It was a joke. We have a sense of humor, too!”
Spike chuckled. “Yes, this trip into my world – and hers – proved most effective.” He paused thoughtfully. “When do I tell her?”
“When do you want to tell her?”
“Now, I want to tell her now.”
“Then do so.”
“But--”
His alarm went off then and Spike jumped a mile.
In bed, he was in bed. The sun was up, pouring into the windows, and he could see it was snowing and – where’d the Ghost go? When did it become day? Rubbing his eyes, he looked down at himself, naked. Just as he was when he first went to bed, but…
He shook his head and jumped out of bed, reaching for his clothes strewn on the floor. “No,” he said aloud, “That was real. All of it was real. I know it. I felt it. And now…” he threw on his duster, “I’ve got a girl to see about.”