Spike had woken up several times during the night just to look at her while she slept. And each time that he did, his heart would melt instantly at the innocent sight of her. He would check constantly on the clock that lay on her night table and would frown each time the hour got a little closer to dawn. He was simply apprehensive of what tomorrow would bring, since he was not sure how Buffy would take everything that had happened that night, once she was back to her old self again.
When morning came, the first thing that he did was touch her side of the bed. Bugger, she’s gone.
Spike suddenly sat up, anxiety momentarily filling his still half-asleep senses before he spotted her sitting on the chair that overlooked the window outside. His sigh of relief was immediately cut short as soon as he recognized the faint sob that continued to rack from her body.
Bloody Hell! What have I done? Spike thought regretfully as he watched her petite form curled up on her chair. She had her knees up with her yummy sushi pajama top unintentionally riding up to reveal perfectly luscious bottoms. She was sobbing so hard, he could practically see her body trembling while she tightly held Mr. Gordo in her arms.
His heart constricted painfully at the result of his foolishness. Angel might’ve been the one who broke her heart last night, but it was him who robbed her of her innocence. He had easily broken his promise in a moment of weakness and now he wasn’t sure if he could ever forgive himself for ruining Buffy’s vision of saving herself for the man she truly loved.
Spike quickly put on his pants and with a heavy heart, he walked slowly towards her. “Buffy…”
Her face was filled with tears when she looked up at him. “You’re awake…(sniffs)”
His eyes were full of emotion as he carefully lifted her up to him. Sitting on the chair, he gently settled her on his lap and began to rock her softly. Buffy’s arms instinctively went around him as she buried her face in the crook of his neck. He swallowed hard. “Oh Buffy I’m s….”
“I’m sorry…” she told him faintly.
Spike looked at her in bewilderment. “For what sweetheart, you don’t have anything to be sorry for. I was the one who…”
“I tried not to… I truly did I swear...I know that I’m not supposed to feel this way.”
“Shhhh… you’re hurt.” Spike used his thumb to brush away the tears in her eyes. “It’s only right for you to feel the way you do, luv.”
“No you don’t understand,” she told him desperately. “You have to promise me that you’ll always be my friend no matter what.”
She’s leaving me? Spike nodded weakly.
“Promise me you won’t leave me for letting it happen.”
Spike breathed deeply as he watched her with apprehensive eyes. What could she have possibly done wrong for me to think about leaving her? “For letting what happen, Buffy?”
Buffy heaved a big sigh and buried her face once more in the crook of her neck before she spoke faintly. “For letting myself fall in love with you.”
********************
It was quite possible that he was still dreaming and he had not awakened yet. After all, it would be really hard to differentiate between hallucinations and reality when he had dreamt of this very thing happening so many times before. He closed his eyes and forced himself to breathe evenly.
“Buffy…did you just… I heard you…Oh Bloody Hell!” He stuttered.
“I did.” She whispered softly on his neck. Oh no…now he’s upset with me. “And before you get totally mad or creeped out, I just want you to know that I’m not expecting anything from you...”
“Buffy, I’m not...”
“I know that you probably think that I’m such a fool for letting myself feel this way but…”
“Buffy, luv. Look at me.” Spike interrupted her babbling and lifted her chin up to face him.
The truth was, Buffy didn’t want to see his reaction, especially when she knew that Spike wasn’t the type of guy who believed in true love and soul mates in the first place. But as she did face him, she was shocked to see …his eyes welling up with tears. She’d never seen Spike look at her this way before. So open and vulnerable.
“I love you too, Buffy.” He said with a half smile that nearly melted all her worries away.
Buffy’s breath hitched in her throat. “You what?”
“I love you.” He rested his forehead on her head and closed his eyes. It felt so wonderful that he was able to finally tell her what he truly felt.
Buffy wanted so much to believe him but what if he was doing it out pity? What if he’s…“Spike, don’t say that you love me just because…”
Spike silenced her with a hunger-filled kiss that had left her breathless and begging for more. “I do, luv. I just didn’t have the courage to admit it to you.”
Buffy stared up at him, thankful that she wasn’t standing up for she didn’t know how her knees could support her from the incredible amount of emotion that welled up inside her. “You…love me?”
“You have no idea what it felt for me before to have to watch you with Angel.” He said, running his fingers through the soft strands of her hair. “You broke my heart a lot of times.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I always knew that you were gonna realize that you belong to me and not with the poofter.” Spike looked at her thoughtfully. “Care to explain to me what happened between you and Angel?”
“You were right. Angel and I…we’re just not right for each other.” Buffy smiled lightly, recalling what Cordy had told her. “He’s better off with Queen C.”
“And you’re okay with it?”
“Well I should be since I’m the one that brought those two together.” she said, giving Mr. Gordo a light kiss before placing him by the window.
Spike chuckled softly, “And here I thought that was the reason why you were...” Spike cocked an eyebrow. “If you weren’t distraught over Angel, then why were you looking like it was the end of world when we were on the dance floor?”
“I saw you and Dru..in the hallway…” her voice trailed as her mind replayed a very brief flashback of Spike and Dru kissing in the shadows.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” Buffy told him spitefully, her lower lip jutting out. “Now you see why it’s difficult for me to believe that you feel that way about me when you…what are you-? You’re grinning…I don’t see anything funny with this Mr. I-Wanna-Shag-Every-Woman-In-Sunnydale…You can not just kiss a girl and tell your best friend that you’re in love with her…Spike if you don’t wipe off that annoying smirk on your face I’m gonna…”
“Oh Buffy,” he interrupted, his grin becoming even more evident. “I’m sorry it’s just that I adore seeing you this jealous over me and Dru. And damn, that luscious pout of yours is just making me crazy!”
“Spike!” she warned.
“Luv, I’m guessing you missed the part where I pushed Dru away and told her to sod off. You should know by now that she’s not the girl I’m hopelessly in love with.”
Buffy blushed deeply. “Then why did you ask her out in the first place?”
“Isn’t obvious?” He said, cocking an eyebrow.
“You were trying to make me jealous?” It was more like a statement than a question.
“Did it work?”
Buffy eyes instantly darkened as she answered him by pulling him in for a long deep kiss. “Does that answer your question?”
Spike grinned mischievously, “I dunno. I think you’d better do that again just to make sure you get your point across,” Spike said before Buffy kissed him again. And this time she straddled him on his lap.
“You do realize that this thing between us probably won’t work.”
Spike withdrew from her, frowning. “Why the bloody hell not?”
Buffy leaned again. “Because (kiss) I know you too well, (nibbles his bottom lip) William.”
“Splainy?” His hand stilled her movements. He too knew her well enough to know that she was being more bloody serious than she let on.
“You’re afraid of commitment.” She told him lightly.
Spike let out a smile that was enough to melt her insides. “Well we’ll just have to find out won’t we?”
“And what does that mean exactly?”
Spike rolled up his eyes in ecstasy as Buffy started to grind herself into his already hardening cock. “Well it means that you’re probably going to be stuck with me…” Forever. “… For a while. Still got so many lessons to teach you, luv.”
“Ooooh…I wonder if there are any lesson of yours that you could teach…” Buffy stood up, ignoring his groans of protest. “….while we’re in the shower.”
Buffy suddenly lifted up her top and winked before she walked away to the bathroom.
“Minx.” Spike muttered happily as he swiftly removed his pants and almost stumbled over himself on his way to follow her.
The End
A/N: I just want to let you all know how much I enjoyed writing this story. As most of you all know, this story was originally meant to be a short one, a PWP that was written to last at least five chapters long but the response I got had been so overwhelming that I got inspired to expand it further and see where it will take me. Having said this, let me also point out that I’m aware of some questions that are still left unanswered like the fact that they didn’t use any protection when they finally did the deed, there's also the prom and I think it would be interesting to know how will Joyce react once she finds out that they are finally together.
Now, I’m not much into baby fics so I’m not sure that there’s gonna be a pregnant Buffy in the future, but I 've purposely left these story lines open just in case I decide to write a sequel say…five months from now. I’m taking a break from writing after I finish-up with my other fic. I’m gonna miss you all! You’ve all been so wonderful! {hugs you!}
Special thanks to Natalie for working on this story with me! She’s absolutely one of the best betas out there! Thank you sweetie and I’m looking forward to work with you again in the near future.
NEW NOMINATION: This story has been nominated for the FL awards for best Spike Characterization. Thank you (whoever you are) for nominating me! Those of you who would like to vote for me can go to this link: http://community.livejournal.com/fl_awards/
Voiting will go on from June 16 to July 15, 2007
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Author's Chapter Notes:
NEW NOMINATION: This story has been nominated for the FL awards for best Spike Characterization. Thanks to you (whoever you are) for nominating me! Those of you who would like to vote for me can go to this link: http://community.livejournal.com/fl_awards/
Voiting will go on from June 16 to July 15, 2007
Voiting will go on from June 16 to July 15, 2007