Chapter 3 POST HUSH 1999

"Holy frijoles, they're at it again!" Xander spluttered. "How are we supposed to find her a nice, normal boyfriend if she keeps kissing vampires. Well, that one particular vampire, anyway." He glanced around the room in the hopes that neither Angel, nor Riley, the last hope for 'normal', noticed.

"It wasn't me," Willow squeaked. "I didn't have anything to do with it this time. NosireeBob."

The two Scoobies watched in horror as Buffy dragged Spike into the corner. She covered his lips with hers while she rubbed her hands all over his back and ass. Both blanched when Spike returned the favor by slamming their hips together. Willow and Xander turned their backs on the entangled couple, only to come face to face with Riley, the last hope for 'normal', macking on his frat buddy, Forrest. They turned another direction just in time to see Angel escort Professor Maggie Walsh into the sitting room just off the main room of the frat house. Willow and Xander gasped when they heard a voice whispering in their minds.

Fun, fun, fun. I just love it when a plan comes together. That naughty Slayer shouldn't have protested so loudly. It was so easy to convince the Cursed One to come to Sunnydale. Hee, hee, and then hitch a ride.

"Did you say something, Wills?"

"No, I thought you did." Willow looked around in confusion, and she came to the conclusion she was hearing things. Life on the Hellmouth must be making her crazy. Case in point was this Christmas party. It was supposed to be just a little get together to help Riley get over the shock of finding out that Buffy was the Slayer, but then Angel, Cordelia and Wesley showed up. Cordelia and Wesley were across the room laughing at some joke told by one of the college jocks and Angel had gone from chatting Professor Walsh up to playing tonsil hockey with the woman.

That vampire really should smooch-a-roo his Slayer more often. She's so much easier to deal with when she's got his tongue down her throat.

"Ewwww, who said that?" Xander shuddered at the not so mental picture when he looked around to see where the voice was coming from, and his eyes fell on Spike and Buffy still making out in the corner. "Can you make me blind now, Willow?"

"Oh, there's my new friend Tara," Willow said brightly to avoid answering Xander's question about blindness. She still felt guilty about the whole 'Thy Will Be Done' spell, especially the part where she had Spike and Buffy being engaged to be married. She glanced at the petite blond Slayer while she hurried to Tara's side. The memories of the aftermath of her spell flooded her mind.

Spike lips, Lips of Spike," Buffy growled. She leaped up off of the blond vampire, and her eyes first went to the ceiling above her, then they landed on the red-haired witch. "You know, I can handle the Spike kissage, 'cause, you know, been there, done that, but we were betrothed. I'm not ready to get married!"

"I'm s-sorry, Buffy," Willow stammered. "I j-just wanted to feel better."

"Well, I certainly felt better." Spike leered at Buffy. "I'll have some nice memories of the Slayer wiggling all over my lap to keep me warm on the cold nights."

"You're such a pig, Spike," Buffy grumbled. She grabbed him by the coat sleeve, and she dragged him out of the crypt.

"Bad and rude, too, but it's all part of my charm."

Willow, Xander and Anya followed the still bickering blond couple out of the crypt and across the cemetery.
(end memory)

"Tara, I'm so glad you could make it," Willow greeted the other girl, and her voice dropped to a whisper. "Things are kinda weird around here. I think we should check the eggnog to see if it's been spiked." She paused for a moment, her eyebrows drawn together in thought. "Wonder if Spike spiked the eggnog?"

"W-why do you think the eggnog is s-spiked?" Tara stammered. She was a little embarrassed to see all the amorous couples around the room.

"Well, Spike and Buffy are kissing again, Xander and I heard a weird voice in our heads, and he wants to be blinded like I did to Giles," Willow stated.

The eggnog isn't spiked, witch.

"What's going on here?" Anya, Xander's ex-vengeance demon now full time girlfriend, entered through the main door of the frat house. She noticed the amorous couples. "Willow, you didn't make my Xander a demon magnet again, did you?"

Anyanka, it's been ages. How have you been?

"Rosebud, what kind of havoc are you wreaking here?" Anya demanded. "I thought you gave up the stupid idea of world domination after O.W. wished you into a plant."

Never, darling Anyanka. I will rule the world, mark my words, but first I must enjoy the blond vampire's smooch-a-roos with his Slayer.

"She's not his Slayer," Willow protested. "She has a nice, normal boyfriend right over there." The redhead pointed to where Riley and Forrest were sitting on the couch kissing each other.

Ahh, yes. The soldier that secretly harbors a hate towards anyone or anything not like himself. His dislike of his fellow soldier because of color and sexual preference makes him easy for me to manipulate.

"Well, turn it off before someone gets too happy," Xander broke into the conversation abruptly, his face a curious shade of crimson.

You humans are such chickens. Look the blond vampire is almost to second base.

"No, no second base, no third base, no homerun either," Willow squeaked. "Baseball is bad. Evil and bad."

I love evil and bad, but, alas, you're right. It's time to stop. I have other mortal enemies to cause smooch-a-roos between. I'm off! See you next time.

The four Scoobies, old and new, cringed at the laughter that rang through their heads. They jumped when they heard a loud smacking sound, and they turned towards the room expecting Buffy to have slapped Spike silly. However, much to their surprise, they found Riley laying on the floor holding his eye while Buffy was still staring up at Spike gasping for breath. The Slayer turned on her heel, and she marched over to her friends, while Spike sauntered over behind her, his pelvis thrown forward in male pride. Willow and Tara blushed and dropped their eyes, while Anya stared at the blond vampire in undisguised admiration.

"It wasn't me, Buffy," Willow blurted out. "It was that mistletoe you mentioned a couple of years ago."

"Think it likes us, Slayer." Spike ogled at the petite blond girl. "I bet if you'd just admit to yourself that you like kissing me, it would quit coming back to visit."

Before Buffy could reply to the vampire, her elbow was grabbed roughly. On pure instinct she turned around and swung a fist into her attacker's face. Buffy winced and covered her mouth when she realized that she'd hit Riley in the eye that Forrest had missed. She elbowed the snickering Spike out of her way. She went to help the soldier up, but he cowered back in terror.

"Not only do you kiss that degenerate in front of my entire frat, you have to punch me, too?" Riley squealed. "You are not the girl I thought you were."

"Gosh, Riley, I'm sorry," Buffy said, her voice filled with fake regret. "But you don't have much room to talk. You were kissing Forrest." She glanced over to where the irate man was hissing to Professor Walsh while pointing towards Riley. Standing behind the Professor was a contrite, and obviously embarrassed, Angel. Buffy turned back to her friends, and she asked, "What's Angel's problem?"

"Um..." Willow stammered. "A-apparently only you make him really happy?"

"You mean he boinked Professor Walsh?" Buffy asked. "But she's so not his type."

"Remember, pet, mortal enemies, just like you and me."

"Yeah, but you're cute. She's just not!" Buffy told the vampire in a distracted tone, not realizing what she'd just revealed. "But how can she be his mortal enemy?" She shivered when Spike came up to whisper in her ear.

"If Captain Cardboard here is part of the group that shoved that chip in my noggin, then she's the one in charge. That makes her Angelus' mortal enemy." Spike raised an eyebrow when Buffy turned to stare into his face.

"She is," Angel muttered. He had heard the Scooby conversation when he approached the group. "There was no chance for me to be happy," he sneered. "Don't think she's been laid in years. She was so thrilled she babbled on about everything. They're planning on making an army of chipped vampires, but all the test subjects except Houdini here fried their brains trying to hurt people."

"What's so different about Spike?" Xander asked in a perplexed tone. Weren't all vamps the same?

"I'm not a minion, you moron, I'm a Childe. Minions are mostly what you find here in Sunnyhell," Spike said. "We need to get out of here before something else happens." He was surprised when the rest of the group agreed with him.

"I won't be forgetting this, Buffy," Riley broke in. "I'll be watching you! You're gonna slip up sometime." He stormed off towards his commanding officer.

"Definitely time to go!" Buffy announced. She herded Spike towards the door. "I think we need to go tell Giles the newest info."





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