Author's Chapter Notes:
okay a semi Buffy/Spike chapter....but i swear the good stuff is coming!!!
Chapter 5: Just Like High School

When Buffy walked into the gallery about twenty minutes later, she said ‘hi’ to her mom and Anya as she walked to the back to put away her purse, grab her nametag and clock in.

She wasn’t surprised to see Spike in there as well, moving boxes checking inventory. “Hey Spike…sorry I didn’t tell you that I wasn’t coming in until later.” Buffy explained nonchalantly as if him seeing her earlier in her little situation never happened.

Spike dropped one of the boxes and wiped his palms on his black jeans. “Oh…don’t worry about it. Wasn’t that far out of my way anyway.” He replied in the same tone.

“Good…good.” She said pinning on her nametag. She started walking towards the door then stopped and turned back around as if she was going to say something. Pursing her lips, she shook her head and started towards the door again when she felt Spike’s hand on her forearm.

“I’m glad you two are doing better.” He claimed in a tone that clearly showed that he wasn’t.

“Thank you…me too.” forcing a smile on her face Buffy walked out the door, and into the showroom.

Spike stared after her for a second, then sighed loudly and went back to work.

* * * * *

“Hello Buffy…you’re not supposed to be here yet.” Anya greeted as Buffy walked back into the front.

“Yeah…um, I thought I’d come in early. Mom could always use extra help around here.” Buffy replied with a smile. After a few years of working around the other blonde, you learn to understand, and live with the way of her speech.

“Well…that’s great!” she commented with a large, face-splitting smile. “But you’re not taking my shifts, right? I’m still getting paid?” She asked bluntly.

“Yes. Technically I’m not here for another hour.” Buffy moved behind the counter and started to check the receipts.

“Good, because I’d hate to gypped out of a day’s pay, without my knowledge. I work very hard for it.” Anya moved to the table and started flipping through the wedding magazine that was lying there.

“I can see how hard.” Buffy said to herself, with a dry smile.

“Hello Buffy…there’s really not that much for you to do in the front.” Buffy’s mother stated, giving her daughter a kiss on the cheek. “Maybe you can go in the back and help Spike with inventory?”

“Um-no…you know I think he’s doing fine by himself. I’ll stay here and-” Buffy cut herself off when she realized that she really didn’t have anything to do here. “I’ll be in the back.”

Joyce smiled, and nodded her head in agreement.

* * * * *
When Buffy walked in Spike was squatting over a box on the bottom ledge of the stock shelf.

“Hey Spike…um-you need help with anything?” Buffy asked nervously, scratching her forehead.

“No, I’m fine, thanks.” He replied without looking up from the box he was searching through.

“Oh! Well, okay…you’re positive? I-I mean, there’s nothing, I can do?” she stuttered, while fidgeting with her hands.

“Yeah…” Spike glanced up at her quickly with a small smile. “I got it.” Then just as quickly went back to work.

Buffy nodded then walked over to a desk and pushed herself onto in, sitting on the surface. Leaning her palms on the edge she crossed her ankles and swung them back and forth, causing them to repeatedly hit the wood below her. She let her eyes travel around the room, trying her hardest to avoid looking at the muscles working in the bleach blonde’s back.

After a minute or so of it, Spike sighed dramatically and stood up brushing his dusty hands on his jeans. He stalked over to the desk, standing right in front of Buffy, and waited for her to look at him.

When Buffy suddenly got smacked back into reality and realized Spike was standing in front of her, she jumped in surprise. “What?” she asked in a small, childish voice.

“Do you have something to say?” he questioned with squinted eyes, wishing she’d just be out with it.

“No.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah.” She said defensively, crossing her arms over her chest as well. Spike raised his eyebrows, silently asking her again, knowing if he pried enough she’d say what was on her mind.

“Okay, look-” she caved to his satisfaction. “I just wanna say…I’m sorry, for earlier; this morning. You shouldn’t have had to see us like that.” Buffy bowed her head, all of a sudden very embarrassed.

Spike shifted from one foot to the other, and dropped his arms to his side. The uncomfortable look on his face, showed less than what he was feeling. “I can’t stop what you and Angel do together, Buffy. It’s not my place. You don’t have to say sorry for anything.” His voice lacked emotion, and proved to Buffy that he wished he hadn’t seen what he did.

“I know, but I know that-I know that if it were me, seeing you and Cordelia like that…I would be hurting.” She spoke with a soft sadness that cut Spike deep. Buffy looked up at him with tears in her bright green eyes. With a blink a droplet slid down her cheek.

Spike’s thumb quickly went to smudge it away, more by force of habit, but let his hand linger there, the pad of his thumb stroking her cheek tenderly.

Spike leaned in, glancing down at Buffy’s lips before lightly brushing his against them. Buffy closed her eyes as the familiarity of it hit her hard. She deepened the kiss by wrapping her arms around his neck, and running her tongue along his lips, begging for entrance. When he aloud it, she tangled her tongue with his, loving how he could make her go crazy with just one kiss.

Spike abruptly pulled away and pulled her arms away from his neck. “Buffy…we can’t. I’m sorry. But we can’t.” Spike mumbled with guilt.

Buffy looked down and licked her lips nervously, still tasting him. “You’re right. We can’t. I’m with Angel…and you’re with Cordelia. Nothing’s changed.” Buffy laughed bitterly. “God, is it just me or is this like high school all over again?”

Spike leaned on the desk beside her, with his palms resting on the edge. Taking a deep breath, he spoke. “Guess we missed our moment, huh?”

“Yup. Whenever an opportunity presented itself something always got in the way. Chicago, Angel…Cordy. You think someone’s trying to tell us something?” Buffy asked turning to look at Spike.

“Could be. But you never know…maybe our moment will come around again.” Spike declared with hope filling his eyes.

Buffy turned to him, her feelings reflecting his. “You think?” her voice was soft, and a little apprehensive.

“I don’t know what to think anymore…this whole situation is one big mess.” He mumbled. Spike looked down, as he fidgeted with his hands.

“Well, you and Cordelia are fine right?”

Spike laughed bitterly. “No…not even close. Everything looks like its fine from the outside, but on the inside…” he sighed loudly, and then continued. “We fight all the time; we can barely keep a conversation going without an argument being involved. But it’s like with other people around we put on a show. We’re a fake couple. I mean I love her…sort of.” Spike added on as an afterthought, which Buffy felt slightly relieved at. “She means a lot to me.” He corrected then continued. “It’s just a little too complicated, you know?”

“Yeah…I know.” Buffy coincided. She knew complicated a little too well. “At least Angel didn’t freak last night when I came home. He knew I was at your house but I said I was talking to Cordy, not you. He would have had blown a blood vessel if I did.” Buffy ran her hands through her golden tresses, and sighed audibly. “Things are still a little rocky between us.”

“Didn’t seem like it this morning.” Spike retorted bitterly, his jaw clenched, and eyes stone cold.

Buffy sighed again. “I knew you weren’t okay with it.”

“Well of course I’m not okay with it, Buffy! It killed me seeing you like that. But what am I suppose to say? ‘Stop! Don’t have sex with your girlfriend in your own home.’” Spike asked rhetorically. “Look, he’s your boyfriend, and I hate that he gets to be with you in ways that I can’t…in ways that I want to be, but I’m not going to try and break you two up. Angel’s my friend too, and I don’t want to hurt him.” Spike admitted in a sad, defeated tone that made Buffy want to cry with joy and pain.

“I know. I don’t want to hurt him either.” Buffy agreed, dropping her head. She really didn’t want to hurt him, but it was hurting her not being with Spike. God, I feel like I’m living in a soap opera.





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