In hopes of not waking Spike, who had somehow managed to sleep through the shrill ringing of the telephone, Buffy quietly tiptoed out of the bedroom while her mother chattered away in her ear, as though a conversation at six in the morning was the most common thing in the world. Sleep clouded Buffy's brain as she made her way down the stairs in search of caffeine, her focus so intent on finding a very large cup of super sugary and creamy coffee that she missed the question her mother had just asked as she searched the kitchen for the coffee filters she knew Spike had used only the day before.
“I'm sorry, Mom, what'd you say?” Buffy asked, doing a little dance as she located all the necessary items to brew a pot of coffee; a task that she typically relied on the other people in her life to do. Listening to her mother repeat herself, Buffy got everything started and replied, “Yes, it is very early here, Mom. One of these days you're going to remember that we're a whole eight hours behind you guys.”
“Or you could just move over here with us, you know,” Joyce offered for the one billionth time since making the move across the proverbial pond. A wistful sigh followed the comment, before her mother added Buffy's usual argument for her, “I know, I know, California is your home and where you belong. I just miss you, sweetie, especially with everything that's going on lately. I worry about you.”
“No need to worry, Mom. I promise I am in very capable hands,” Buffy said in return, her cheeks reddening with the thought of just how capable Spike's hands truly were. “Anyway, not to change the subject, but I am glad you called. There's been a change in my case. Um, it looks like we're going to have to go to trial after all. Riley changed his plea.”
“What do you mean he changed his plea?” Her mother asked with each word getting a bit more loud and angry as she said them. “Just who in the hell does he think he is? He hurt my babies...Hell, he almost killed you, Buffy! He shouldn't be able to just change his mind!”
“Mom...Mom? Hello?” Buffy repeatedly interjected throughout her mother's continued rant, failing miserably until she all but screamed, “Mother!”
“Oh, Buffy, sweetheart,” Joyce apologized as she finally stopped her shrill rant, “It just infuriates me that he hurt you, much less the fact that he hurt you and might actually get away with it. Not to mention the stress you'll go through by dealing with a trial.”
“It will be okay, Mom. I will be okay, I promise,” Buffy promised, although deep down she was scared of what was to come and was not certain that sitting in the same court room day after day with the man she thought she had once loved, a man that had damn near killed her in a fit of rage. But, if doing so meant that Riley might face what he had done to her and Dawn and be punished for hurting them both, then Buffy knew she could be strong and survive. Pausing long enough to taste test the cup of coffee that was finally brewed to make sure there was just enough sugar to nearly cause a diabetic coma, she added, “They're going to need Dawn here to testify though. Is that okay?”
“Of course that's okay, Buffy. It's her chance to get justice, too. We'll just have to figure out her school schedule is all, maybe have her take a semester off just in case.” Joyce paused and Buffy heard the telltale sound of her stepfather's voice in the background before her mother returned to the phone. “Rupert says hello and that he misses you.”
“Tell him the same for me. I hate that you guys are so far away.” Buffy chugged down a massive gulp of coffee and wondered if she could manage to cook something for breakfast without totally screwing it up, but pushed away the thought as she figured it would just be easier to go out and grab something if Spike was not up to doing his usual chef thing when he woke up.
“I like it over here, definitely a different pace than California, but I do miss seeing you and hearing about what's going on in your life,” Joyce replied wistfully. “Now, fill me in on everything else that's going on with you. Anything thing new? Something good?”
“Um, new? Nothing much really. I've been super avoid-O Buffy lately,” Buffy admitted, slightly ashamed at how reclusive she had been since leaving the hospital. Chewing on her thumbnail, she wondered if she should tell her mother about the fledgling relationship with Spike. She had always talked about guys with her mom, not always taking the advice Joyce gave her, but welcoming it nonetheless. However, there was a gnawing pain of nervousness in the pit of her stomach at the thought of telling her mother about Spike, but she pushed it aside and said, “There is one thing that's been good. Um, I'm seeing someone. It's kinda new, but he's pretty great and makes me happy.”
“Buffy,” her mother said in that tone that instantly made Buffy realize that she had made a huge mistake in not listening to what her stomach was trying to tell her; that tone that made her wish for a magical time manipulation device to go back and just not say anything at all. After a long drawn out pause of excruciating silence, Joyce continued, “What do you mean you're seeing someone exactly? Who have you managed to meet if you've allegedly been avoiding everyone?”
“Um, well, do you remember the guy that Angel hired when I was in the hospital, for security? The blonde guy? Spike.” Buffy paused and gulped down the rest of her coffee and wished it was acceptable to chug half a bottle of wine instead. Hearing the very audible sigh of disapproval from her mother, she added, “I mean, it's not super serious or anything, it's new. Like, it just happened recently. Not like we've been doing...um, you know, I mean...we haven't been together this whole time; not like that. But, Spike? He makes me happy, Mom. Happier than I've been a long time.”
“Baby, I want you to be happy. I really do, but Buffy, you only recently ended things with Riley and you're still healing from everything that you went through with him. I just don't think jumping straight into another relationship, serious or not, is the best idea for you at the moment.” Joyce paused and Buffy could mentally picture the look her mother got on her face when she tried to not sound like she was harping at her daughters. “Don't get me wrong, I like Spike. He seems like a nice enough young man, although I am not certain about his choice in names, and I think it's quite romantic the way you two met and found one another again. I do, honestly, but honey, I don't think this is something you need right now.”
“I'm sorry you feel that way, Mom,” Buffy finally said, struggling to keep the tears in her eyes from finding their way into her voice; not wanting to let her mother know just how upset she was. “But, I do think this is what I need. He helps me forget it, what Riley put me through, even for just a little bit. He takes away that pain, Mom.”
“Fine, baby, but please be smart about it. Don't let it get out of hand,” Joyce relented, although disappointment colored her words and caused Buffy's heart to sink even further. She truly hated disappointing her mother. “With the trial coming up, you need to focus on yourself and making sure that Riley gets what he deserves. The media is going to eat you alive if you show any ounce of weakness and heaven help you if they get wind of you jumping into bed with a new guy so soon after Riley. Don't let Spike be your weakness, your undoing, Buffy. You're fighting not only for yourself in this, but for your baby sister, too. You've got to be strong for Dawn, too.”
“Yes ma’am.” Buffy replied, quietly, knowing full well that her mother was at least partially correct. While Spike could never be anything but her strength, Buffy knew that the media would skew anything out of proportion and she could not afford to have anything jeopardize the trial. Sighing, exhaustion from dealing with her mother creeping in to make her tired despite the caffeine singing through her veins, Buffy muttered a lame excuse to end the conversation and ended it with a terse goodbye that hurt her heart.
Leaving her dirty coffee cup on the kitchen counter, Buffy headed back upstairs to slip back into bed with Spike before he could see the tears that streamed down her face. Unfortunately, her plan failed when she stepped out of the bathroom at the same time she entered the bedroom and the sunlight streaming through the windows showed him every tear that streaked over her reddened cheeks. Falling into his arms, she put up no resistance as he navigated them towards the bed, to where he sat down and pulled her into his lap to hold her quietly until the wetness on her cheeks dried. Sniffling, Buffy scrubbed the palms of her hands over her face and said, “Thanks, I needed that.”
“Anytime, love.” Spike smiled softly as he brushed a wayward strand of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. Concern washed over his handsome features as he studied the sadness that no doubt continued to fill her eyes and asked, “You want to tell me what happened to make you so sad?”
“That was my mom on the phone. I, uh...I told her about us and needless to say, she was definitely not thrilled with the idea,” Buffy replied grimly. Before continuing with the story, she wriggled her way off Spike's lap and crawled up the bed, laid down and pulled the comforter up to her chin. Since the day had started out as a suckfest, she was just going to go back to sleep and maybe start it over at a later hour. However, one glance at the expression on Spike's face erased that thought, at least for the moment. “I'm sorry, I...l didn't mean to say it that harsh. It's not you in particular that she's so against, I promise, she likes you and all. It's just that everything else is going so wonky right now and she doesn't think that me jumping into another relationship is the best idea.”
“It's fine. She's your mum, love. She worries, that's her job,” Spike replied as he scooted across the bed to join her under the covers, pulling her into his arms so that she could rest her cheek on his chest. Buffy smiled at the feel of his lips brushing against her forehead, but still hated that she had hurt his feelings even for the briefest moments.
“Forget about my mom for right now. I figure once all the Riley drama calms down and the trial is over, she'll come around.” Buffy glanced up to look at Spike and asked, “Know what I think we should talk about instead? You. I want to know everything there is to know about you.”
“Surely we can find something else more entertaining than that boring story, pet,” Spike replied suggestively, doing his best to distract Buffy by sliding his hand up her bare thigh. “In fact, I am certain I can think of something else for us to do instead.”
“And I am sure we will get to that at some point, but right now I want to know all the juicy details about you. When did you come to the states? How long have you known Angel? How many times have you been in love? I want to know everything! Pretty please?” Buffy pleaded, playfully pouting to get her way; knowing full well that he had yet to be able to resist the sight of her lower lip poking out.
“Very well, pet. You win, but there's nothing juicy about it. Downright boring if I say so myself,” Spike said, caving the minute she poked out her lip and batted her eyes at him. “Just so you know, I was a bleeding ponce in my younger days, so you can't hold that against me after, yeah?” Pausing long enough to let Buffy settle back down in his arms, Spike dredged up at least part of his unspectacular life just to appease her. “My first love was Cecily. Thought she was the most beautiful bird I'd ever laid my eyes on, that one. Followed her around relentlessly, spouting off sodding poetry and doting on her every second. Turned out to be quite the raging bitch, that one. Made a bleeding wanker out of myself over Cecily. Changed every poncy thing about myself after that one; hair, clothes, accent. The whole lot of it, gone. After that was done, moved my arse to the states and met Drusilla.”
Buffy felt bad, since she had begged for him to tell her the story, but a snort of laughter escaped at the name of the second love in his life. Glancing up to find Spike glowering at her, Buffy explained the giggle and apologized, “I'm sorry, that was so rude, but come on...Drusilla? Seriously, who names their kid that? Did her parents hate her or something?”
“Right, pet. Like Buffy is such a normal everyday type of name for a child?” Spike retorted with a chuckle, but managing to effectively put her in her place with his comment. Albeit childish, Buffy stuck her tongue out at him and Spike said, “Cute, pet. Just like your name, yeah?”
“Darn straight, I'm all sorts of cute, I'll have you know,” Buffy replied with a smile, before steering the conversation back to Spike's story. “So, what happened between you and Drusilla?”
“Probably best to ask what didn't happen between me and Dru, love. Quite the rollercoaster; up and happy one moment, then her mood would take a bleeding nosedive down and there'd be a bit of misery for a while. Dru, well, she wasn't all there all the time, I guess. Got worse as the years went on; mostly lucid, then one thing would go barmy and she'd be dancing around the living room, talking to her bloody doll. Not much I could do to help her, just had to wait it out, really,” Spike said, sadness tinging his voice.
“Years?” Buffy asked when he paused his story. “How many years exactly?”
“Let's see, we broke up last fall, so that would have been ten...no, eleven years. We met shortly after I met Angel, so yeah, Dru and I would have started dating right around my twentieth birthday.” Spike paused long enough for Buffy to ask him what went wrong with them in the end, and appeared to be ponder his words before continuing, “There were less and less of the good days, I guess. By the end, Dru was barely keeping it together, to be honest. That last day, when she left me, was right after I met you actually. That night at Caritas? She was going on and on about the sunshine infecting me or some nonsense; said it was too bright, that it hurt to look at me. Whatever the hell that meant? Anyway, packed up her bags and left. Haven't seen her since.”
“Have you heard anything about her? Like, is she okay?” Buffy asked, truly worried. Guilt gnawed at her conscience as she wondered if Spike had told Drusilla what had happened between them at Caritas the night they met and if that was the reason she left, but Buffy was too chicken to ask Spike if that's what had happened.
“Last I heard she was in an institution back in London. Spoke to a friend of hers a while back and found out her condition had deteriorated quite terribly and her family had to have her committed.” Pausing, Spike obviously felt the need to drop the subject, because he said, “That's enough of story time for today, love. How's about some breakfast? I'm feeling a bit peckish.”
Knowing that talking about his past had been difficult, Buffy accepted the offer of food and gladly let him end story time for the day, but hoped that he would open up to her again. While her heart hurt at the sadness in his life and loves, she wanted to know everything there was to know about him, because regardless of the warnings from her mother, she already knew that she was falling head over heels in love with Spike Worthington.
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