“Mom, I am so totally going to be fine!” Buffy assured her worried mother. Gesturing emphatically at her clothing, she joked, “See? All showered and in public wearing something other than my trusty sweats.”

“I know. I know! I just worry about you, sweetheart. I could always stay a little while longer. Rupert doesn’t really need me, right? Oh and Dawn, she could cancel classes she managed to arrange to audit. We could spend some more time together.”

“Thanks, but no. I will not allow you guys to put everything on hold to just sit around here and hold poor, pitiful Buffy’s hand, ok? Plus, we start recording at the first of the week so that will keep me preoccupied.” Wrapping her arms around her mother, Buffy pulled her close for a bear hug. “Thank you, though….for everything. I’ll be fine.”

“You’re Welcome, baby. It’s what mothers do.” Joyce brushed a kiss across her oldest daughter’s temple before releasing from their embrace.

Turning to Dawn, Buffy said, “Gimmie a hug, Dawnie.” Squeezing her little sister with an unusual amount of strength for someone as small as she was, Buffy buried her nose in Dawn’s long brown locks and struggled to hold her tears at bay. “I’m gonna miss you. Promise you’ll come back to visit when it’s not so crazy?”

“I promise. After spending the next couple of months in dreary England, I know a beach vacation will be needed.” With a chuckle, Dawn pulled away from Buffy and furiously wiped her eyes. “I told myself that I wouldn’t cry.”

“If the Summer’s women managed to say goodbye without shedding a tear I would likely stop breathing.” Giles replied good-naturedly as he watched the three most important women in his life sniffle and hiccup. “Now Buffy, dear, you are still planning to fly over for Christmas?”

“If nothing comes along and mucks my plans up. Heck, I may end up over there sooner than that. It’s been a helluva long time since I have been totally alone.”

“Hop on a plane anytime you want to, Buffy.” Joyce managed to say between sniffles. “You just let me know when to be at the airport.”

After another tearful round of goodbyes, Buffy finally managed to get her family onto the plane and back in her car and stuck in heavy midday traffic. Grumbling, she scanned her surroundings and tried to figure a way out of the mess. It took a great deal of maneuvering and a lot of angry horn blows before she was able to pull off at the nearest exit. Sitting at the traffic light, waiting for it to change back to green, Buffy realized where the exit had taken her. About a block down on the right was Spike’s apartment complex. Taking the location as a sign, Buffy flipped on her blinker and headed towards the massive structure.

Pulling into the parking garage, she stopped the car and rolled down the window expecting to see Mr. Rayne, but was surprised to find a young man with sandy blonde hair manning the security station.

“Good afternoon, ma’am.” He exclaimed, peering into her open window with a pleasant grin that instantly turned into awe when he recognized who she was. “Oh my god! It’s you…you’re her…Buffy! I was told there was a chance that you might come here, but I just didn’t think it would happen.”

“You, it’s me. I’m all with being Buffy.” Buffy babbled nervously. She was skiddish enough about seeing Spike for the first time in five days and really wished that she wasn’t famous at that particular moment. “I’m here to see Spike…er, Mr. Worthington, is he in?”

“Of course you are! But, he’s not here right now. I mean, he’s out of town on business, but shouldn’t you know that. I mean, not to be rude or anything.” Confusion clouded the young man’s face as he shuffled awkwardly from one foot to the other and mentally prayed that he wouldn’t get written up for being rude to a visitor.

“Um…yes, I should. Uh…we must have gotten our wires crossed somewhere. Honestly, I have been so busy the past week that I forgot. Does it say when he will be back?” Buffy hoped that her sunglasses would cover her blatant lie, but she figured the guard was so enamored with her that he might just fall for the tale.

“Well that’s funny,” he murmured, glancing down at the schedule near the window. “Usually he leaves a return date, but there’s only a question mark.”

“Thanks for checking anyway. I’ll just call his cell later on. I’m sorry for taking up so much of your time,” Buffy squinted her eyes in order to read the embroidered patch on his dark blue shirt, “Chris. Thank you so much.”

“Hey, it’s no problem at all. You can bother me anytime you want to, Miss Summers.” Chris said openly. His face lit up as bright as a tomato when he realized just what he had said and disappeared back into the tiny building.

As she pulled away from the complex, Buffy’s eyes filled with tears for the umpteenth time that day; making it very difficult to drive. ‘I waited too long and now he’s gone! Stupid Buffy!

Driving slowly down the busy street, Buffy wished that she hadn’t sent her family away; she really needed the company and comfort. Her second thought was to go see Angel, whose office wasn’t too terribly far away from where she was, but then realized that he was out of town as well and wouldn’t be back until Monday.

That’s when she figured out who she really needed…Willow. Whipping her car around dangerously, causing the mid-afternoon traffic to blare their horns at her in annoyance, Buffy headed towards Venice Beach, her favorite part of Los Angeles.
Willow and Tara had relocated there when they bought their store, purchasing a quaint cottage a couple of blocks away. Buffy loved the cozy feel of their house and felt completely at ease whenever she walked over the threshold. Pale yellow with clover green shutters would normally stand out in any neighborhood, but in theirs it blended in with all of the other brightly colored homes. Purple posies and multicolored tulips lined the hand laid stone walkway and countless potted plants adorned the porch.

Nearly forty-five minutes later thanks to traffic, she parked the Jeep into the narrow driveway and walked to the door. Even though her face was red and splotchy from tears, Buffy’s face broke into a bright smile when greeted by the chipper redhead.

“Buffy! Look at you being all sneaky and coming to visit.” Bouncing up and down with excitement, Willow gave Buffy a hug and ushered her inside. “So, what brings you to my neck of the woods? Haven’t heard from you in a couple of days; how goes it?”

Flopping down on the baby blue couch, Buffy sighed loudly and said, “The real question should be ‘Where do I start’? Take a seat, Wills, this might take awhile. By the way, where’s Tara?”

“Had to run to the store for some last minute stuff, she’ll be back soon though. Should we wait?”

“Nah, she can be filled in when she gets here. Really need to get some input from my nearest and dearest, ya know?”

By the time Buffy had spilled everything that had happened over the past few days, Willow was wide-eyed with surprise. “Holy cow! This calls for a whole lot more than just me. Be right back!” When she returned a couple of minutes later, Willow was laden down with soft drinks of the non-diet variety, spoons and a gallon jug of chocolate chip ice cream. “I think this might help the situation, dontcha think?” Giggling, the tiny redhead fell onto the couch where she instantly dug into the frozen treat with Buffy.



Spike was piss drunk, as he had been for several days. Letting the empty bottle of whiskey slide from his hand, he struggled to pull himself up from the leather chair that had become his home. Staggering across the room towards the bar that stood proudly in one corner, Spike reached underneath and grabbed the first bottle he came to; not caring what was inside.

Maneuvering around the room had become a challenge by this point since the only light was the meager amount that had streamed through the slit in the thick curtains. With several curse words echoing in the silent cave, he managed to make it back to the chair with only minor bumps to his shins.

If at any time Spike had taken a good look into the mirror, he would have screamed at the fright he had become. Usually impeccably groomed, his hair was now disheveled and dirty and a slight growth of shadow had settled on his normally smooth skin. Sorrow filled the cerulean blue eyes and just underneath them he was sporting heavy dark smudges indicative of the lack of sleep since the night Buffy had kicked him to the curb.
His body was bordering on the edge of exhaustion; no longer able to cry or express any emotion. Spike felt empty, as though a part of him was missing; a gaping hole that was once filled with Buffy’s love.

When forty eight hours had passed and he had not received any calls from Buffy, Spike had turned off his phone figuring that if she hadn’t called by then, she never was. Those two days had been spent only slightly inebriated. Deciding that he needed a good round of serious moping in the only way that he knew how…a good old fashioned bender, Spike had made a quick call down to the guard shack to say that he was out of town.

Halfway through what he realized was a fifth of gin, Spike managed to drink himself to the point of sobriety. The foggy haze that had permeated his brain lifted and he was tuned in to the song that was playing on the radio he hadn’t known was even on. It was Buffy. Her soft voice swam inside his head and he was filled with heartache once again. Cursing the alcohol for wearing off and clearing his senses to the point where he was able to make stupid decisions, Spike reached for the cell phone and punched in Buffy’s number.


**OK, so I decided to put the A/N here so that it's more likely you guys will read it. I finally got a negative review on this at another site and I wanted to run it by you guys since I have more readers here. Not to mention that you guys really seem to like this.

Anyway, the review stated that I have made Spike into a piece of meat and not a real character. I have tried not to do that, but what do you guys think? They also stated that Buffy wouldn't act the way she has in this story nor would Riley. Everyone does understand that this is AU and so totally of my own creation. Just really using a few personality traits here and there; really only that of Spike since why would anyone change him? So, what do you guys think?

Oh and thank you so much for the reviews! Really made me smile! Also, I will be out of town this weekend so unless I can get a chapter out by Friday morning, you guys will have to wait until next weekend.





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