Chapter 16
**
.
Previously:
Taking a step forward, Angel was halted by the stake pressed firming against his chest. This one would not miss his heart.
“Stay the hell away from him.”
**
Angel froze. Joyce was serious and he knew it. How the hell had this happened? When did these people stop respecting him? They were all crazy! They had to be; no one in their right mind would choose Spike over him. Taking a deep breath- well not too deep because of the stake- Angel spoke softly in an attempt to placate the woman who had him at her doubtful mercy. “Joyce, he’s my grandchilde. It is my right to discipline him.”
“And if you attempt to do that, I will dust you,” Joyce replied flatly, her eyes cold. No one was touching her saviour on her watch.
“You don’t seem to have grasped the concept that you are neither needed nor wanted here, Angel,” Giles coldly stated his observation.
“I thought you wanted to be one of the good guys, Angel? A good guy wouldn’t attack someone else for failing to bow down to them. A good guy wouldn’t have suggested it in the first place.” Willow crossed her arms and let her resolve face slip firmly into place.
“You should l-l-leave, we w-w-won’t let you hurt Spike.” Tara surprised the group by speaking up. The Sunnydale group knew that she must feel really strongly, since she rarely spoke up during meetings.
Cordelia looked critically at the vampire she knew in her heart could make a difference, if only he would stop listening to his ego, it was so beyond irritating. “Enough Angel…God, when are you going to learn? You put so much stock into being a champion and then you act like a damn child that can’t get his own way. Get over it, already.”
“Cordelia is right, Angel. In reality you have only been fighting the fight against evil for just over four years. The bulk of your experience, I hasten to add, has been for the other side. It is ludicrous to believe that just because you have managed to survive for over 240 years as a vampire, that you are automatically more knowledgeable than the rest of us. It is insulting both personally and intellectually. You did not earn that soul, Angel, you were cursed with it. To assume that after only actively using your soul for four years, you have some sort of superior moral guidance system is preposterous,” Wesley delivered his opinion with the cutting edge tone that only an upper-class Englishman can truly produce.
“If you continue with this attitude, you will be responsible for the destruction of this world,” Penny stated, with absolute finality. Taking in the lost expression on his features, she felt the stirrings of pity. Softening her tone, she asked him her question, “Do you really want to be redeemed?”
~*~*~
Riley watched and waited, silently stewing in his anger, his mind going over his unanswered questions again and again. ‘What happened? Who was that bitch that had had him by the throat? Why hadn’t Buffy helped him? Why did that so-called representative from some higher power set him up? Who knocked him out? How did he get out of the shop? What was the vampire ex-boyfriend doing here? What was going on? Why was he on the outside?’
He hated being on the outside. He was always on the inside. When he’d looked through the glass at the front of the shop, he’d seen Angel. Angel was inside, yet here he was; sitting in his car, waiting for some answers. He had more right to be in there than Angel. There had to be a way to fix this. He just had to figure it out. If he could work out what his mistake had been, then fixing the problem should be easy. He dismissed all that Penny had told him, nothing she could say would change his mind that demons needed to die. They were just another enemy and he was a soldier. Surely if he could just get Buffy alone he could make her see, make her understand the threat they posed? Maybe make her understand that the stake wasn’t a torture device? Make her understand that he didn’t have her special powers, so he had to use any and all means to gain the advantage. Surely she would see the wisdom in that? It was times like this that he really missed Maggie. She would have known what to do.
~*~*~
Ben looked around the room in horror, bloody and broken minions lay all around. Glory had obviously had a little repressed rage were his sardonic thoughts as his mind snickered in rebellious glee. ‘Serves you right, bitch’.
What the hell was he supposed to do now? Did he help the little maggots or leave them as they were? Did he just ignore the carnage or was he supposed to clean it up? Did this mean that the God who made his life hell on earth was going to be easier to fight for control of his body, or would it be harder? Looking around at the decaying and mutilated bodies, he thought, ‘I wonder who pissed her off this time?’
~*~*~
“But that’s what I don’t understand. I have been redeemed and everyday I work towards making up for all the terrible things that Angelus did,” Angel pleaded with them all to understand his confusion. He had worked hard to get his business up and running. He helped the helpless everyday. This made no sense, why were they all looking at him like he was an alien? What the hell was he missing?
"Oh, Angel, do you even hear yourself?” Cordelia shook her head sadly at the morose vampire.
“Redemption comes in many parts, Angel, but none of them include business. You say you are redeemed, yet you pass over your responsibility by conveniently blaming Angelus. You are still you, and the only thing stopping you from reverting to the killer that you were is the cursed soul. Calling yourself by another name doesn’t change what you’ve done, and you can’t hope for forgiveness if you don’t acknowledge your crimes. You can’t be redeemed if you don’t seek forgiveness. You can never ‘make up’ for what you have done. All you can do by way of reparation is to serve rather than take. Getting paid doesn’t count. The only actions that can be construed as sincere are those that you do selflessly, altruistically. Any good that you do is negated when your only incentive is what you might receive in return,” Penny passionately informed the elder vampire.
Joyce slowly removed the stake from Angel’s chest. She would wait, wait and listen to his reaction.
Tara gripped Willow’s hand. Penny’s passionate words had touched her. Tara berated herself. If she truly wanted her relationship with Willow to work, she needed to be honest. As soon as they were alone she would tell Willow about the family legacy. she prayed to the Goddess that Willow would understand.
Anya thought about what Penny had said. She didn’t understand this obsession some humans seemed to have with selfless actions, but she wanted to. She wanted to very much.
Cordelia stared thoughtfully at the beautiful psychiatrist, ‘God, she’s got great hair’.