Author's Chapter Notes:
I promised to make it all alright and I hope I suceeded. Thanks for all the support over the weeks and months!
Chapter 30/Epilogue

Spike opened the door to Buffy’s hospital room and walked in. A teary eyed Buffy looked up and seeing his face, she promptly burst into tears again. He went to her immediately and pulled her into his arms and began stroking her hair.

“I’m so sorry,” she sobbed.

“Shh, pet, don’t cry. Its gonna be ok.”

He was remarkably calm considering how he was feeling inside, but he knew it wouldn’t do either of them any good if he allowed his anger to get the better of him, particularly for Buffy. She’d been through a lot tonight and no matter how angry he was at her for keeping the news of her pregnancy from him, his love for her demanded that he keep it in check.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

She pulled back. “I don’t know…I was scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“We’d broken up. I didn’t know how to tell you or if you’d even be interested.” She looked down at her hands as more tears began to fall. “Anyway it doesn’t matter. There’s no baby anymore.”

Angel’s attack and being pushed down the stairs by Drusilla had caused Buffy to miscarry. Though she’d been rushed to hospital, there was nothing that the doctors could do.

“It does matter. You think it doesn’t hurt me that you lost our baby? You think I wouldn’t have cared if you’d told me about the pregnancy?” He caught her chin and drew her head back up. “Do you really think that little of me?”

“No, I…its just what was I supposed to do? We weren’t together…for all I know you’re with someone else now who wouldn’t have taken to kindly to a pregnant ex.”

“Buffy, I’m not with anyone else.” He took a hold of her hand and looked her square in the eye. “Don’t you know you’re the only one for me.”

Buffy’s lip wobbled as she unsuccessfully fought the tears.

“I heard Drusilla talking to Darla,” she said between sobs. “They were laughing about how she’d tricked me into thinking you’d cheated on me.” Tears ran down her cheeks. “It was all lies and I believed it. I was too scared to trust you and I ruined everything.”

Unable to stand seeing his girl cry, Spike pulled her into his arms again. “Shh, kitten. It’s ok. I don’t blame you.”

“How can you not?”

“Because it wasn’t your fault. You were tricked – they must have gone to great lengths to make you believe what they wanted you to believe.”

“But I should have trusted you. As soon as she said it, I should have known it was a trick. It was my stupid insecurity that refused to believe you’d changed, even though I’d seen it in everything you did. If I'd taken a step back, if I’d looked at it rationally, there’s no way you’d ever do that.”

Spike lifted both hands up and brushed away her tears. “Don’t you see? It doesn’t matter anymore. They failed. They thought they’d tear us apart but I couldn’t let you go. That’s why I came looking for you earlier.”

“I wondered how you’d found me.”

“It was Willow and Oz who first realized you were missing from the dance and they approached me saying they couldn't find you and asking me if I’d seen you. That in itself had me worried – I hadn’t spoken to you in weeks so they had to be really concerned to ask me. I told Willow we should go look for you.” His eyes narrowed with remembered rage. “When I saw what Angel was doing to you, God, I wanted to kill him.”

“I knew Angel and you weren’t the best of friends after what happened with Drusilla, but I never thought he’d go as far as he did.”

Spike sighed. “The thing about Angel is that he has problems. He actually moved to Sunnydale not long before you did and he was an instant hit with the popular crowd since his stepdad owned a string of nightclubs in LA. But what none of us knew was that he was on medication for hidden violent tendencies. Something to do with his real father abusing him when he was a child.”

“And nobody had any idea?”

“Not a one. My guess is either that it stopped working or he stopped taking it. According to Darla, his violent nature had started coming through during sex, which is probably what attracted Dru, but then he started getting worse. He hated me and he wanted to get at me by taking you. Apparently his plan was to abduct you. Darla loved him and would’ve done anything for him but I don’t think she was actively involved in his plan. When she saw him attack you, she ran off to call the police. Angel regained consciousness in the back of a police car.”

“What about Drusilla?”

“Well, let’s face it. The chit’s bug-shagging crazy. We all know it. Xander managed to restrain her after she pushed you down the stairs and last I heard she was headed for the psych ward at Sunnydale Memorial.”

“So it’s over?”

“It’s over, luv. Neither of them will get away with what they did or tried to do. And I’m not letting Angel within 100 miles of you ever again. You’re mine.”

Buffy couldn’t stop the watery smile creeping onto her face. “You still want me?”

“Good God, woman, you drive me mad. Of course I still want you.” He cupped her face in his hands. “Buffy, I love you.”

Buffy felt sure she must be dreaming. She couldn’t believe he was saying those words, the words she’d dreamt of him saying since they’d first gotten together, words she’d wanted to say to him herself but she’d been too unsure of his feelings for her. But she wasn’t unsure anymore.

“I love you too, Spike,” she said, pulling him to her and pressing her mouth against his. Their tongues came into play and they clutched at each others clothes, both feeling the need to be close after so long apart. When Buffy finally pulled back, they were both breathing hard.

“God, Buffy,” he said, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear as his gaze locked with hers. “I can’t believe how lucky I am. When I first saw you, deep down I knew there was something special about you, but I guess I was too self-absorbed to admit it. I took seeing you with Finn to make me realize what I’d thrown away. You have such energy and passion and you’ve made me see life in a whole new way. Every day I fall in love with you more and more. You’ve taken my ordinary existence and replaced it with something new and exciting. And I don’t want to ever live without that.”

“Spike, you make me sound so amazing, but don’t sell yourself short. Everything I’ve done for you, you’ve done for me too. After what happened with my father, I was kind of expecting you to hurt me – it almost seemed as soon as I started caring about somebody they’d let me down. But what I wasn’t expecting was for you to become the guy I could rely on to be there for me and take care of me through thick and thin, no matter what. Somewhere inside of you, I believed there was something more than the arrogance you wore on the outside, but I never expected to see it. I feel just as lucky to have you if not more.”

“What you say you saw inside of me – that was the real me, the real William Giles. Spike was a persona I created after I was rejected by a girl I had a crush on.” Seeing Buffy’s eyes narrow, he continued quickly. “She didn’t hold a candle to you, luv. She was insipid and unkind. But it was William she rejected and I decided I didn’t want to be him anymore. I wanted to be the kind of guy that girls liked and wanted to be with. And in the process I became egotistical and insensitive. It was you that reminded me of how much better a person William was and you were the first person I wasn’t afraid to show my true self to.”

“Spike does have some good points though.”

“You’re right. If it wasn’t for his confidence, I’d never have had the courage to approach any girl let alone one as beautiful as you. I didn’t have much experience with girls growing up – after my mum died, it was just me and my dad. I don’t have many memories of her, but my dad says she was a lot like you, so I reckon she’d approve.”

He kissed her softly and for the next few moments, their mouths continued to meet as they exchanged light, gentle kisses.

“I’m so glad we managed to sort everything out,” Buffy said. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d lost you.”

“You could never lose me. You’re perfect for me.”

“We’re perfect for each other.” They kissed again, until Buffy pulled back. “I just wish…”

“I know,” Spike said, immediately knowing she was thinking about the baby. “Me too. You would have made a great mother.”

“And you would have made a great father.”

“One day, pet, it’s gonna happen for us again. I’m gonna give you another little baby and its gonna have beautiful blonde curls just like its mum…”

“…and incredible blue eyes just like its dad.”

“I promise you that, Buffy, because I love you and no matter what the future brings, I’m never letting you go.”



Epilogue

Spike was good at keeping promises.

Six years later, Buffy lay on a bed beside an ultrasound monitor. Spike stood beside her, their fingers laced together and their wedding bands glinting in the unnatural light.

They had been married a year – Spike had proposed the day Buffy graduated from UC Sunnydale – and Buffy was three months pregnant. Though after marrying, they had decided to wait a little while before starting to try for a family, when they had started trying, Buffy had fallen within a month. She jokingly blamed it on Spike for never leaving her alone, which he rolled his eyes at clearly remembering all the times she’d instigated their lovemaking.

The obstetrician squeezed gel onto her softly rounded stomach and Buffy gasped. “Ooh, that’s cold,” she said, giggling.

Dr Burkle moved the detector over her stomach and then pointed to the monitor. “That’s your baby.”

Buffy’s eyes met Spike’s and their smiles spoke volumes of how happy they were both as a couple and as prospective parents. They also knew that their friends and family would join in their happiness. Giles and Joyce, who had married the summer prior to Spike starting college, would be proud grandparents. They had also had a child of their own, a girl, Dawn, who was now four and desperate to be an auntie. Willow and Oz, who were engaged, and Xander and Cordelia, who had recently married, had remained close friends and would be delighted godparents.

“Do you want to know the baby’s sex?” Dr Burkle asked.

Both Buffy and Spike looked back at her and then at each other, smiling. After finding out that Buffy was pregnant, both had laid bets on whether the baby would be a boy or a girl. Buffy said it would be a boy, while Spike was convinced it was a girl. It was high stakes, with the loser having to do whatever the winner wanted for a whole night.

They nodded and Dr Burkle, moved the detector over Buffy’s stomach again and peered at the screen.

“It’s a girl.”

Spike’s grin widened as if silently saying ‘told you so’, before he leaned down to whisper in Buffy’s ear.

“Can you remember where we put the handcuffs?”





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