A big thank you to everyone who voted for this story. It won best Fantasy Readers Choice at the Spark and Burn Awards! You guys are the best.
Spike knew the plan. He had gone over it in his head for three long, sober days. He had accepted that right now, it was impossible for him to be with Buffy. But Tara was right, she wouldn’t be seventeen forever and he had already taken the first steps in ending his marriage.
Bridge to the future he reminded himself. He had to tell Buffy how he really felt. She deserved to know, even though right now, she probably hated him. He could only hope that one day he would have the opportunity to show her.
Spike knew he had to be strong. He had to keep the conversation short and then leave. Buffy deserved the chance to make her own choices about her future; she deserved the world. He couldn’t give her that right now, but one day he would.
Spike’s well thought out plan went out the window as soon as she opened the door.
“Angel I told you…”
Spike saw her freeze mid-sentence. She looked beautiful. Her hair was up in a loose ponytail with wisps framing her perfect face. She was wearing a simple pink blouse that tightened under her deep breaths. Her skirt fell mid-thigh showing off her tanned, muscular legs. For a moment, Spike was mesmerized.
“Hi Buffy” Spike managed to choke out.
For one brief moment, she looked almost happy to see him, but suddenly her eyes narrowed.
“What are you doing here?”
Spike clutched the envelope in his hand as his chest tightened under her glare. Holding it out to her with a trembling hand, he attempted a smile.
“I…a…brought the photos…from your birthday.” he managed to stammer out.
Buffy looked at the envelope before her. She closed her eyes in an attempt to will the memories of that night away.
“I don’t want them!” She spat slamming the door in his face.
Spike realized he should not have been surprised at her actions, but he was. Taking a deep breath he knocked lightly on the door.
“Buffy please open the door”
When there was no response he tried another approach.
“Buffy…even if you don’t want them, I’m sure your mother does.”
Buffy opened the door snatching the pictures from his hands and was about to slam the door once again when Spike blocked it with his boot.
“Buffy, please …” Spike pleaded.
“Move your foot Spike. I took the pictures, now leave.” Buffy yelled pushing against the door.
“Please Buffy I just want to talk to you.” Spike begged holding the door ajar.
“I have nothing to say to you.” Buffy said her voice cracking.
“Then just listen…please Buffy just give me five minutes then I promise I’ll leave.” Spike breathed leaning his forehead against the door.
Buffy knew she should not open the door, but there was something in his voice that made her take a step back.
Spike breathed an audible sigh of relief when he felt her move away form the door. He took a step forward as she opened the door only to be halted by her hand.
“You aren’t coming in. You have five minutes.” Buffy stated crossing her arms in front of her.
Spike wanted to protest, but knew he couldn’t. He nodded in agreement trying to gather his thoughts. Everything he had carefully thought out was now a jumbled mess in his head. Everything was supposed to be simple and direct, but now looking at her, he wanted nothing more than to hold her tight, burying his face in her silky hair.
“God Buffy…I’ve missed you.” He whispered in a low shaky voice.
Tears filled Buffy’s eyes. She could see the pain on his face, but she remembered all too well how he had hurt her.
“What’s the matter Spike, having trouble finding a new bimbo for the week?”
Spike felt as if he had been slapped. Her eyes were cold and full of hate. For a brief moment he was not sure if he had the strength to do this, but deep down he knew if he didn’t tell her now, he would lose her forever.
“Buffy it’s not like that…” Spike breathed.
“Oh so you do have a new bimbo already!” Buffy accused with her hands on her hips.
This angered Spike. He took a menacing step toward her, grabbing her upper arms “No!”
They both felt the bolt of electricity flow through their bodies form his touch. Spike saw the fire in her darkened, green eyes and couldn’t help but move closer to her.
Buffy realized what was happening and attempted to struggle free from him.
“You have to leave…now!” Buffy said in a strained uncertain voice.
Spike’s mind was in a haze. Being this close to her after so long, seeing the passion in her eyes, had him moving before he could even stop to think. The air around them crackled as he backed her inside and whirled her around.
It all happened so fast. Buffy barely had time to breath. She felt her back hit the door, closing it, just as Spike’s lips crashed down on hers. All she could do was whimper as his hungry mouth claimed hers. She wanted this…she wanted him, but not like this.
“No!” Buffy cried shoving him back. “You can’t just come in here and use me like this…not anymore”
“Buffy I…” Spike scrambled to explain.
“You what Spike? What could you possible have to say?” Buffy sobbed, bringing her hands up to cover her face.
She could feel her heart breaking as the tears streamed down her face.
Spike was mortified by his actions. He had come here to help alleviate some of her pain, not to hurt her all over again. Taking a step closer to her he ghosted his fingers down her arm.
“Buffy…I was wrong.” Spike started.
Buffy’s head shot up. “Well then just go…I wouldn’t want you to do anything else you regret.”
Spike could see the pain in her eyes and wanted to cry out in frustration. Clenching his jaw he ran a nervous hand through his hair.
“This is all coming out wrong. I didn’t come here to hurt you. I just wanted…”
“I know what you wanted Spike.” Buffy glared.
“No! That isn’t why I came here Buffy, please believe that!”
“Then why did you come here Spike? Just tell me…” Buffy looked at him with pleading eye.
Spike took a steeling breath. This is it he thought to himself.
“Buffy I…” Spike closed his eyes trying to find the words. “All my life…it has just been me. Even when I was with Dru, I was alone. I’m not good at caring much for other people’s feelings…I’m used to just worrying about me…looking out for myself.”
“Yeah well you aren’t telling me anything I don’t know.” Buffy snorted.
“Buffy please just let me get this out.” Spike pleaded.
When she nodded Spike continued. “When I met you…you turned my whole world upside down. It’s like you reached inside of me and touched something I didn’t even think was reachable anymore.” Spike’s voice was low and raspy.
Buffy just stood there frozen, unable to move. Part of her was scared he would stop talking, another part scared to have him continue. This was too close to her dreams, she wasn’t prepared to have it all taken away again.
“Buffy I told I don’t believe in those happily ever after endings…not for me, but with you…” Spike screwed his eyes shut.
Buffy took a step closer “What Spike…tell me.”
Spike looked up in her eyes. “You make me want to believe Buffy. You…make me want to be a better man.”
“What are you saying?” Buffy whispered never breaking eye contact.
“I’m saying that…I love you.”
“But why did you tell me you didn’t?” Buffy sobbed.
“Because I’m a coward Buffy.” Spike looked down at his shoes.
Buffy walked up to him gently lifting his head with her hands. Searching his eyes she let out a deep sigh.
“Tell me again.”
“I love you” Spike said looking in her eyes.
Buffy brushed her lips against his “I love you too.”
Spike brought his hands up to her hips tugging her against him. When he brought his lips to hers the spark between them ignited into an inferno. Weeks of pain and longing fueled them as they began pulling at each other clothes. His hands ached to touch every inch of her body. Buffy let out a throaty moan when she felt his rough palms moving her skirt up over her bare thighs. Her skin seemed to burn everywhere he touched.
Buffy freed his shirt from his jeans, running her hands over his taught muscles, desperate to feel him.
Spike growled, backing her in the living room and pulling her down on the couch with him.
Buffy straddled his hips and quickly tugged his shirt over his head. Spike briefly tried to unbutton her blouse, but quickly got frustrated and ripped it off her body, smiling when she giggled.
He pulled her in for another searing kiss grinding his aching erection against the thin, damp lace covering her pussy.
“God Buffy…missed you…love you so much” Spike mouthed biting her lace covered nipple.
Buffy threw her head back ready to explode from need. Spike reached down with trembling hands, to free his throbbing erection. Pulling the sodden thong aside he thrust deep inside her. They let out duel cries of passion and relief. Their eyes never wavered as their bodies moved together. His cock stroked her quivering pussy until she was exploding and writhing on top of him.
Spike gently lifted her and flipped them over. Buffy immediately wrapped her legs around his slim waist as he laved and nipped at her hardened nipples. Feeling his release near, Spike grunted against her breast, as he increased their rhythm.
Stars burst in front of her eyes as she felt him erupt within her reverently chanting her name. Buffy’s body trembled as uncontrollable sobs tore through her.
Spike was immediately alarmed “Kitten? What’s wrong baby?” He asked gently stroking the tears from her face.
“I’m scared I am going to wake up and find out this wasn’t real.” She sniffed burying her face in his neck.
Spike closed his eyes. It was a feeling he was all too familiar with. He knew this wasn’t the plan, but holding her in his arms he couldn’t let her go…not again.
“It’s real.” He whispered trying desperately to reassure both her and himself.
[Reviews - 438]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | 
Chapter or Story
Has been viewed 4284 times
- Text Size +
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | Chapter or Story - Text Size +
Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry I have not updated in so long.RL has been rough plus I have been struggling with some writers block. This story is almost at the end and even though a good part of it is smut…I have come to care about these characters and the endng is very important to me. This chapter is shorter than some of the others but the next chapter is already written just needing a tweak and a beta so I promise it will not be as long. Thanks for sticking with me. Please leave a review and tell me what you think.