Author's Chapter Notes:
A big thanks to my beta Ashley. Thank you to everyone who has been following this story and reviewing. I wanted to let everyone know about two great new sites. The Feeling Love Awards (A spuffy Awards Site) created by my girls Smudgiboo,Vampgirly and Indigodiaries
http://community.livejournal.com/fl_awards/
And The Bloody Crypt a great banner request community for all the talented authors seeking banners for their fics.
http://community.livejournal.com/thebloodycrypt/
Joyce felt the bile rise in her throat as she examined the photos. Closing her eyes tightly she wished she could deny the woman in the pornographic pictures was her little girl. She didn’t immediately recognize the man, but upon closer inspection his identity was clear. It was Cordelia’s husband, William. Joyce had only met him twice, when the Chase family first bought the gallery, but he was not the type of man you forget.

Pouring herself another scotch, she couldn’t help but blame herself. She knew leaving Buffy at Cordelia’s was almost as bad as leaving her alone, but she had turned a blind eye. Joyce had wanted to go on the trip so badly; she had shirked her responsibilities and left her daughter.

She wanted desperately to tell herself that her daughter had been somehow forced, but the pictures made it clear that her daughter was more than happy to be in the arms of the married man.

The knowledge especially hurt because unlike Buffy, Joyce knew the real reason Hank had left. She had told Buffy it was to find himself when the truth was, he had run off with his twenty something secretary.

As upset as she was with her daughter, she could barely contain the rage she felt toward a certain blond older man. Buffy was only seventeen and who knows how long the affair had been going on. Even jail was too good for this man, but Joyce would have no problem sending him there.


********************


Buffy bounced up the steps to her front door. Spike had dropped her off around the corner. She giggled to herself remembering how long it had taken her to actually make it out of the car. She knew she was late, but her mother had been pretty relaxed about her curfew because of her grades. She smiled opening the door. Life was good.

As she started to tiptoe up the steps, she was startled by her mother’s voice.

“So you finally decided to come home.”

She turned and walked toward the dark living room. Her mother was sitting on the couch. Buffy was immediately assaulted by the smell the alcohol as soon as she entered the room.

“Mom, is everything okay?” Buffy asked concerned.

Joyce let out a dry bark, “well if you call my seventeen year old daughter fooling around with a married man twice her age everything being okay all right then everything is just fantastic.” Her mother slurred waving her glass in the air sarcastically.

Buffy’s eyes widened Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God…the words were a mantra in her head. She kept waiting to wake up and have this all be some terrible nightmare. Her mouth opened and closed several times unable to think of anything she could say in defense.

“Well Buffy do you have anything to say for yourself?” Her mother stood and crossed the room.

Buffy’s eyes filled with tears, “I love him,” she whispered.

Joyce snorted “Oh you love him? Well then that makes everything better! Oh wait that’s right we are forgetting a few things like the fact that he is married!”

“Mom, they are getting divorced!” Buffy defended.

“Oh even better, my daughter is a home wrecker!”

“Mom it wasn’t even a real marriage. They never loved each other,” Buffy wailed tears now streaming down her face.

“Oh God are you really that stupid? What else would he tell you Buffy? That you are special? Don’t you know that men will say anything to get you into bed?”

“No mom you’re wrong! Spike loves me!” Buffy spat.

“Yeah well we will see how much he loves you from jail,” Joyce said walking towards the phone.

Buffy rushed forward grabbing her mother’s hand.

“No! Mom please you can’t do this. It isn’t his fault! It was me…I went after him.” Buffy confessed.

“How could you…after your father…” Joyce abruptly stopped.

“What does dad have to do with this?” Buffy furrowed her brow.

“Your father left us for another woman,” Joyce blurted out

Buffy looked at her mother, confused by her declaration.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think it mattered why he left.’

“Oh no, it wouldn’t matter until you could throw it in my face! Well I have news for you mom, it’s not like that. I will not feel guilty for this. Spike loves me and I love him. Cordelia is a fucking bitch…”

Joyce turned before she even realized what she was doing and slapped Buffy across the face. She immediately covered her mouth and gasped. In seventeen years she had never struck her daughter.

Buffy looked at her mother is disbelief, and then turned to run toward the stairs.

“Buffy!” Her mother yelled.

She stopped but didn’t turn around.

“Give me your cell phone,” her mother demanded holding out her hand.

Buffy turned to argue but sighed in defeat and handed it over.

“I’ve taken the phone out of your room and changed the alarm code. You will not leave this house except to go to school and then come straight home.”

Buffy narrowed her eyes, “You won’t keep us apart!”

“Maybe I won’t, but jail sure will.”

“I hate you!” she screamed then ran up the stairs and slammed her door.

Joyce stood at the bottom of the stairs letting out a ragged breath as tears fell down her face. She hoped one day Buffy would understand what she was doing.


*******************


Spike pulled the pillow over his head trying to ignore the pounding on the door. Buffy was usually his only visitor and she had her own key. Jenny had occasionally stopped by insisting on bringing him a care package of his favorite things. Whoever was at the door didn’t seem to have any intention of going away, so Spike crawled out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans.

He padded through his apartment running his hand through his unruly curls. He yawned as he opened the door.

“Sorry to wake you, but I think we need to talk.” Joyce announced as she pushed her way through the doorway and entered the apartment.

“Uh…Ms. Summers what can do for you?” Spike smiled trying to keep the terror from his voice.

“You can stay the hell away from my daughter,” Joyce stated.

Spike’s eyes widened, “I don’t know what…”

Joyce held up her hand stopping him mid sentence as she opened the envelope and dumped the photos on the table.

Spike could not believe his eyes, but he immediately knew who was responsible.

“Cordelia did this.” Spike whispered his terror now replaced with rage.

“No William, you did this. You are the one sleeping with my seventeen year old daughter. This may be just some fling to you but she is a just a child…”

“It’s not like that! I’m in love with her.” Spike answered honestly.

Joyce scoffed, “You honestly expect me to believe that? You are a married man.”

“We are getting divorced and I swear to you Joyce I do love your daughter.” Spike’s voice was thick with emotion.

“So what? Are you asking for my blessing? I know she is young and beautiful…”

“No” Spike roared, “Joyce I have been around hundreds of young, beautiful girls, that isn’t it. It’s Buffy that I love! Not just her youth or beauty.”

“If you really loved her then you would leave her alone and give her a chance to grow up and have a normal life.” Joyce offered.

“Don’t you think I’ve tried? I know she deserves more than some divorced, washed up photographer, but for some reason she loves me.” Spike voice broke as tears filled his eyes.

A part of Joyce wanted to feel sorry for him. A part of her actually believed he did care for her daughter, but that didn’t change the fact that he was still married and Buffy was just too young for this kind of relationship.

“I believe you care for her, but if you really loved her, you wouldn’t be so selfish. No matter how much you might not want to believe it, you are holding her back. Let her be a child while she still can. I am asking you as her mother.” Joyce sighed, “if you don’t I will be forced to contact the police. I don’t want to, but there will not be a second warning.”

Joyce left the photos on the table and walked out the door. Spike just stood there staring at the photos of the woman he loved. He knew he was being selfish by staying with her, but he didn’t think he could give Buffy up. Spike sighed as tears rolled down his face. How had it all come to this?


********************


Buffy ducked behind the bushes as the group of older ladies past by. Sneaking out of school early was not something she was used to, but she had to see Spike.
Slipping up the steps, she carefully unlocked the door and stepped inside.

“Spike?” She called softly.

When there was no response, Buffy walked through the apartment stopping dead when she saw the scattered photos on the dining room table. Oh my God my mom has been here? she began to panic.

“Spike!” She yelled now racing back toward the bedroom.

She breathed an audible sigh of relief when she saw him sitting on the floor in the darkened room.

“Didn’t you hear me call you?” She asked approaching him.

“I did,” he whispered.

Buffy knelt down taking the half empty bottle from his hands.

“I know my mom has been here, but I won’t let her keep us apart,” she sobbed cupping his face.

Spike placed his forehead against hers.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he rasped bringing his hand up to softly stroke the ends of her hair.

“Where else would I be?” Buffy smiled bringing her lips down to brush against his.

Spike’s hand tangled in her hair, pulling her down against him, as he deepened the kiss. As their tongues dueled, Buffy felt a sense of relief wash through her. She hadn’t lost him, despite her mother’s visit.

Buffy broke the kiss looking into his eyes, “let’s run away together.”

Spike smiled at her naivety, “Buffy…”

“Just hear me out. You could hire a private jet and we could go to England. Faith said she knows a guy who could get me a fake passport. You said you have a house in England, and it wouldn’t even be illegal for us to be together there.”

Spike smiled stoking her face. Her eyes were so full of love and hope. There was a part of him that wanted to readily accept her plan, but the truth was that Joyce was right, he was being selfish.

“Buffy, I love you. I know I’ve said that before, but I want you to know what exactly that means. For the first time in my life I care more about someone else than for myself. Kitten, you deserve so much more than I can offer you.” He said as tears filled his eyes.

Buffy’s stomach knotted, though his words were full of love the defeat in his eyes made her uneasy.

“All I want is you Spike, nothing else matters.” Buffy breathed.

Spike let out a dry laugh, “Buffy I don’t want nothing else to matter. This is supposed to be the best time in your life and I’m just holding you back.”

Buffy abruptly stood up, “Is that what she said? Don’t you see she just want you to leave me?”

“Buffy your mother loves you. She just wants what is best for you,” Spike assured her.

“And you think that you dumping me is what is best? You just told me you love me.”

Spike stood up closing the distance between them. Taking her hands he guided her to sit on the bed and knelt before her.

“Buffy I am a bad, rude man. I haven’t been worth a damn my whole life, but you…you make me want to be a better man. I do love you…God I love you so much it hurts and I promise you now that I will love you until the day that I die,” Spike closed his eyes drawing a shaky breath.

“But…” Buffy sobbed.

“But for now, I have to go.”

“Go? Go where…when?” Buffy yanked her hands away. The shock was evident in her voice.

“Don’t know, but I can’t do what is right by being here,” Spike tried desperately to choked back tears that were filling his eyes.

“Are you saying it’s over? You’re leaving me?” Buffy whispered bowing her head.

Spike placed his finger under her chin lifting her head slowly to face him.

“I could never really leave you. You are a part of me now,” Spike chuckled, “the only part that is any damn good. I just need to step away and let you live your life. Luv, as long as there is a breath in me, we will never be over.”

“So, you are staying?” Buffy looked at him confused.

“No Buffy, I have to go.”

“Why, because of my mom?”

Spike sighed, “Because of me, Pet. I love you and this time I’m gonna do what is right.”

Buffy jumped up shoving his hands away.

“You don’t love me! If you really loved me you wouldn’t leave me.”

Spike approached her trying to take her hands.

“No! Don’t touch me! You can’t say you love me and then just leave me!” Buffy sobbed.

Buffy turned and ran out of the apartment. Spike wanted to follow her. He wanted to take back everything and to take her away and never look back, but man she had awoken inside of him told him he was doing the right thing.


**********************


It had been three days. Three days that felt like an eternity. Buffy had barely even left her room, unable to even look at her mother. Her mother had gotten very familiar with the liquor cabinet as of late and tonight before bed, she had forgotten to set the alarm.

The streets were dark and eerie, but Buffy had to talk to Spike. She couldn’t just leave things like they had. She smiled as she approached the steps. She knew he would be going crazy without her by now. She closed her eyes picturing their sweet reunion. He would be upset with her for being out at night by herself, but she had taken great care in her appearance and was confident he would be unable to resist her.

Turning the key she entered the darkened apartment. Flipping on the lights her smile instantly faded when she looked around the room. Buffy numbly walked around the apartment unable to believe her eyes. The apartment was bare. Spike had left her.

Buffy leaned against the wall and slid down until her bottom came in contact the bare floor. She knew the tears would come, but right now it hurt to bad to even cry.





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