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Author's Chapter Notes:
I just wanted to Thank everyone who has read and reviewed this story. It is my first chapter fandom fic and the response has inspired me to write more.

A huge thanks to Jane for beta-ing this for me.

I have started a new Live Journal community for Spuffy AU ALl Human Fics and Art Called Spuffy Fantasy I hope everyone will Join and share

http://community.livejournal.com/spuffy_fantasy/profile...............................................

**Some Dialogue borrowed from Entropy
After the day Spike left, Buffy visited the apartment often. Every time she turned the key and entered the empty residence, her heart died just a little bit more. The manager had told her that the rent was paid through the end of the year. So, twice a week Buffy would make the journey to Spike’s place. And twice a week, she would leave shattered.

Near the end of the year, when she climbed the steps for the final time, she was shocked to see boxes outside of the apartment. Her heart soared with joy until she saw a happy, young couple emerge from the door. Slinking back down the stairs, she ran the whole way home. She cried until the last shred of hope was drained from her body. Spike was never coming back.

Sometime before Valentine’s Day, Buffy overheard her mother talking on the phone. She couldn’t make out all of the words, but she heard enough to know her mother was talking about Cordelia. Words like ‘messy divorce’ and ‘money laundering’ were murmured as Buffy pressed her ear flat against her mother’s bedroom door.

Apparently the Chases had lost the gallery. She deserves to lose more than that, Buffy thought to herself. For a brief moment, she considered the possibility that once divorced, Spike might contact her, but deep inside she knew it would be a mistake to hold on to that dream.

By graduation, Buffy had started dating again, but somehow she never made it past a second date. Something always felt…missing. She kept waiting for the fireworks to erupt when a boy kissed her, but they never did. Her lack of interest in pursuing a physical relationship drove most of them away.

Her relationship with her mother continued to be strained. Buffy no longer blamed her mother, but she just couldn’t bring herself to talk about Spike. And with so much left unsaid, it made it difficult for them to speak at all.


********************

Buffy poured herself a glass of juice and stood staring out the kitchen window.

“So, are you and Willow still going to L.A. tomorrow?” Joyce asked, trying to break the ice with her daughter.

Buffy immediately stiffened. She hadn’t even realized her mother was home. “Yeah, we’re going to check out the dorms and do a little shopping.”

“Oh, well there’s this great little bookshop downtown. Do you think you could drop in and get me a book?” Joyce asked.

Buffy turned to her mother, furrowing her brow. “They do have bookshops in Sunnydale.”

Joyce smiled. “I know, but they’re small and don’t have the book I’m looking for. It’s an art book.”

“Sure, just write down the name of it for me.” Buffy shrugged and turned to walk out of the kitchen.

“Buffy, wait,” her mother called.

Buffy sighed, turning back around.

“I hate this honey, it’s been nine months. Are you ever going to stop hating me?”

Buffy saw the unshed tears in her mother’s eyes “I don’t hate you, Mom. It’s just…still too hard to talk about.”

“I know you blame me…”

“No Mom, I don’t.” Tears fell down Buffy’s face as she slumped on the barstool.

Joyce walked up to her crying daughter, placing her hand on her back. “Sweetie, I won’t apologize for what I did. I reacted the way any mother who loves her daughter would have reacted, but…”

“I know, Mom! I’m not asking you to apologize. You were right, okay, he never loved me.” Buffy sobbed, burying her face in her hands.

“Buffy, let me finish. I know you’re hurting, but you have to know that sometimes doing the right thing for someone is the greatest act of love.”

Buffy turned to face her mother. “How can you say that? If he loved me, he would've never just left me like that!”

Joyce sighed. “Sweetie, I can’t tell you what’s in Spike’s heart, but he really didn’t have a choice. He had to leave.”

“It doesn’t matter now anyway.” Buffy shrugged, wiping her eyes.

“Buffy, do you…do you still have feelings for him?” Joyce asked, studying her daughter.

Buffy closed her eyes. “I love him, Mom. He’s probably the only man I will ever love, but it doesn’t matter. It’s time to move on. I start college next month and it’ll be a whole new life for me.” Buffy stood and hugged her mom, “I’ve gotta get going. I’m meeting Willow at The Coffee House.”

Joyce watched her daughter walk from the room and sighed, pulling the piece of paper from her pocket. I hope I’m not making a mistake, she thought.



*********************



The two girls giggled as they walked down the long row of shops. The trip to the dorms had been fun, though Buffy couldn’t exactly say she was thrilled with the idea of living in them.

“Is that the bookstore?” Willow asked pointing across the street.

Buffy took out the slip of paper her mother had given her. Looking towards the small store, she noticed a long line of people in front of it.

“Yes,” Buffy sighed, “it figures it would be packed. Maybe I’ll just tell my mom I couldn’t find it.”

“It looks like it’s just a book signing. I doubt you’ll have any trouble since you’re just buying a book.” Willow offered.

“Ok,” Buffy grumbled, hurrying across the street, toward the store.

She suddenly stopped, causing Willow to run right into the back of her.

“Buffy, what are you…oh no.” Willow gasped when she saw what had stopped her friend.

Buffy’s chest tightened and her heart raced as she froze in front of the bookstore. Her mind screamed at her to run away and never look back, but her feet betrayed her as she stood there staring at the poster in the window. It was Spike.

Fate had once again dealt her a crushing blow. He was there inside, signing copies of his new book Tales of William the Bloody. He was smiling in the picture. Buffy choked back a sob as she thought about the happy new life he appeared to be living.

“He is soo hot,” she heard a teenager cry as she exited the store clutching the newly signed book to her chest. Buffy’s eyes narrowed, as she noticed that the majority of the people in line were women.

Something inside Buffy snapped as she stormed through the front door, snatching a copy of the book from a nearby display. She managed to maneuver herself to the front of the line. Marching up to the table, she noticed he hadn’t yet seen her. She placed the book down on the table.

“What would you like me to write?” he asked, taking the book, still not looking up.

“Oh, I don’t know. How about ‘I’m a fucking bastard for leaving you without saying goodbye’!” Buffy yelled.

His head instantly popped up. He couldn’t believe his eyes. There she was, after all these months, standing in front of him with fire in her eyes. She had never looked more beautiful. Her hair was longer and a little darker, with highlights framing her face. She stood there with her hands on her hips, waiting for his reaction.

“Buffy,” it came out as a hoarse whisper.

“At least you remember my name.” Buffy spat and turned to walk away.

Spike jumped out of his chair, knocking over a nearby display of books. When he grabbed her arm she whirled around, snatching it from his grasp.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t ever touch me again.”

He could see the pain in her eyes. “Buffy, please luv, just let me talk to you.”

Buffy snorted. “Oh now you want to talk? That’s funny, Spike, how you only want to talk now that I’m right here in front of you. What about the past nine fucking months? Where the hell were you then?”

“Mr. Rayne is there a problem?” The bookstore manager appeared.

Buffy looked around and noticed all eyes were focused on them. She blushed, realizing what a scene she’d just caused.

“Look, you should get back.” Buffy whispered.

“No! Not until we talk! Can you meet me…after?” Spike asked, ignoring the manager and crowd of onlookers.

“I’m going back. Willow is my ride and she’s leaving…”

“Please, Buffy, just give me thirty minutes and then I promise I’ll leave you alone. I‘ll make sure you get back to Sunnydale, I promise.” Spike pleaded.

“Really, Mr. Rayne, there are people waiting…” The manager started.

“I’ll be back in a bloody minute, now get the hell out of my face, so I can talk to my girl!” Spike roared, causing the small man to scurry away.

Buffy’s eyes narrowed, though there was a small part of her that melted at his words, he had no right to say them. “I’m not your girl!” She yelled.

Spike sighed, closing his eyes. “Please Buffy…just thirty minutes.”

Buffy looked to her friend who was patiently standing to the side. In the months after her breakup with Spike, she’d confessed everything to her friend. Willow gave her a reassuring smile. Buffy took a deep breath and nodded.

Spike pulled out a business card and wrote an address on it. After handing her the card, he reached in his pocket and pulled out a key. “I’ll be there in two hours,” he said, handing her the key. “Thank you!”

“I wouldn’t thank me just yet, Spike.” Buffy said and turned and walked away.



********************


Buffy gasped as Willow drove up to the address Spike had given her. It was a small bungalow right on the beach, similar to the one they had gone to last summer, only bigger.

Buffy sighed, looking at her friend. “I guess this is it. Thanks, Wills.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to wait?” The redhead asked.

“No, Willow, it’s okay. I promise I’ll be fine.” Buffy smiled, not sure who she was trying to convince.

Buffy slowly made her way up the sidewalk and pulled out the key. She didn’t see Spike’s car in the driveway, so she slipped the key in the lock and went in. The house was completely empty except for a king sized mattress and T.V. in the middle of the living room floor.

Buffy slowly walked toward a large wall of windows overlooking the Pacific Ocean. The sea was dark and rough. Thick black clouds hovered over the stormy blue waters. Buffy almost laughed at the irony.

“Beautiful,” she suddenly heard Spike behind her. Buffy closed her eyes, willing her body not to turn toward his voice. “It looks scary…I think there’s a storm coming.” she muttered.

“I wasn’t talking about the view.” Spike said.

Suddenly, she could feel his breath on the back of her neck. She cursed her body for reacting to his nearness. Moving closer to the window, she turned to face him, desperately wishing he wasn’t so close.

“So…the clock is ticking…talk.” Buffy said, trying to keep her voice from trembling.

Spike let out a nervous chuckle, running a hand through his curls. It seemed so strange to see him like this. Gone were his trademark jeans and t-shirt, replaced by a navy pinstriped suit and a deep pink button down. Buffy had to admit, it looked damn good on him.

“I’m not sure where to begin.” Spike ducked his head.

“How about with using me, lying to me, and then leaving me!” Buffy answered coldly.

Spike looked as though he had been slapped. “I never used you, Buffy, and the only lie I ever told you was the night of your birthday, when I said I didn’t love you.”

“Spike, I’m not some stupid little girl, willing to blindly believe you anymore…I’ve changed.” Buffy jutted her chin out defiantly.

“I can see that…so have I.” Spike croaked out.

“I can see that. You seem…happy.” Buffy turned away, so he couldn’t see the tears in her eyes.

“Happy? Is that what you think…that I’m fucking happy?” Spike roared, closing the distance between them.

Buffy tried to ignore his proximity. “Why wouldn’t you be? You’re a writer, you have this great place…”

“This place is…not mine.” Spike sighed, turning and walking toward the kitchen.

“Well whatever, you’re staying here.” Buffy frowned, watching him walk back in the room with papers in his hand.

“Read it,” Spike said, handing them to Buffy.

Buffy read the papers then looked up at Spike in disbelief. “Why is my name on here?” Buffy asked.

“I bought this place for you,” he stated.

“Why?”

“I was coming back for you. I even told your mum.” Spike confessed.

“You…told her…when?”

Spike sighed, “Things got…messy with the divorce, Cordelia tried to drag you into it. I knew they were laundering money through the gallery. Your mum helped me get the information to use against them. We talked…a lot. I basically blackmailed them into dropping your name from the divorce. I refused to drag you into it. I would’ve gone to jail first.”

“Why did you do all that?” Buffy looked at him confused.

“Because God help me, Buffy, it’s still all about you. Everything I’ve done, every decision I’ve made for the past two hundred and seventy four fucking days has been about you!”

Spike walked toward the windows. The storm was just reaching the shore. Long bands of wind and rain began to pound the shoreline. Buffy stood staring at his back. Not sure if she was more scared that what he was saying was all a lie, or if she was actually terrified that it might be the truth.

Spike was still facing the storm as he spoke. “I can see you’ve moved on, Buffy. I don’t blame you. I promised myself I would let you go if your feelings had changed. I just hoped…”

“You hoped what…that I sat around for all those months waiting for you?” Buffy asked softly.

“I know that isn’t fair. You have your whole life ahead of you…” Spike placed a hand against the glass as the as the rain thumped against it.

“So what…you just give up, just like that?” Buffy sobbed.

Spike turned suddenly. “Buffy, I’ll never give up on you.”

Buffy sighed, “Do you…do you really love me?”

Spike went to reach out for her, but pulled back, scared of her reaction. “Oh God, yes! More than anything. I know things fell apart, Buffy, but as long as there’s breath in me, I’ll love you.”

Buffy saw the tears streaming down his face and knew she had matching ones running down hers.

The thunder and lightning roared around them as the power blinked on and off.

“They did…fall apart, and I don’t know if you can ever put them back together again. I mean, do we even fit in each other’s lives anymore?” Buffy sobbed.

“Buffy…please…” Spike cried bowing his head.

“There would be so much to work through. Trust to be built…” Buffy trailed off walking around Spike towards the window.

He turned and watched her lean her head against the glass. He felt like he was dying inside. Seeing her in pain, knowing he was losing her, was almost more than he could bear.

Buffy turned to face him “It’s a long important process, and…can we just skip it?”

Spike’s head immediately popped up.

“Can you just be kissing me now?” Buffy smiled, tears still running down her face.

Spike’s lips instantly smashed down on hers with nine months of pent up emotion. Buffy immediately moaned against his mouth as his tongue pushed past her teeth. Pressing her back against the cold glass, Spike pulled her flush against him.

The storm screamed around them, but the lovers were too lost in their own passion to even notice. Breaking the kiss, Spike trailed his tongue down her neck, lightly scraping his teeth up to her ear.

Buffy felt his hands cup her ass and brought her legs up to wrap around him, grinding down against his hard cock. Bracing her against the window, Spike freed a hand and started tugging at her clothes.

“Need you…love you…Oh God, missed you so fucking much,” Spike murmured against her throat.

Buffy tugged at his tie, struggling to loosen it. She finally got frustrated and moved to his shirt, yanking it open. Spike chuckled as buttons flew across the room. Reluctantly setting her down, he quickly pulled her shirt over her head. He growled as he ripped her bra off.

Dipping down, he latched onto her pink nipple, biting down on it as he pinched the other lightly with his fingers. Buffy threw her head back in ecstasy, not even noticing the removal of the remainder of her clothes.

Buffy protested as Spike stepped back to look at her.

“Perfect,” he smiled, as his eyes raked hungrily down her body. She smiled, stepping forward to tug open his pants. Reaching a hand between them, she freed his erection and gently squeezed it.

“Fuck!” Spike groaned.

Before Buffy knew it, she was lifted back against the cold glass. She cried out when she felt his hard cock poised at her entrance.

“Please…God Spike,” Buffy whimpered.

Spike slowly pushed inside of her, nearly losing control as her hot pussy gripped his erection. Buffy twisted her hips, begging for friction.

“Need a second luv, it feels too bloody good. Don’t want it to be over just yet.” Spike said, letting out a strained chuckle.

Spike began to move slowly in and out of her as Buffy let out small, pleading little moans. Blood was roaring in her ears as he gradually increased his pace.

“Oh God,” Spike howled as he suddenly thrust up inside of her, shooting his seed deep in her womb.

He felt Buffy’s pussy pulse and tighten around him as she quickly followed him over the edge.

Spike leaned his head against hers and chuckled, “Sorry…it’s been a while. You just felt too good.”

Buffy turned her head not wanting to think about Spike with someone else. He immediately noticed her reaction.

“Hey…” he said, placing a hand on her face gently so she would face him, “There hasn’t been anyone else.”

Buffy looked at him skeptically. “Spike, you don’t have to say that if…”

Spike sighed, looking her directly in the eyes, “Buffy, I told you, it’s all about you.”

Buffy smiled, “I haven’t either…I mean…you’re still the only one.”

Spike dipped down and kissed her again. “I promise next time will be better.” Before Buffy could answer, he carried her over to the bed and gently laid her down. Kneeling above her, he grasped his necklace and pulled it off.

“I’ve worn this everyday for the past nine months. Whenever things got tough, I would touch it to remind myself why I was doing this.”

Buffy sat up, watching as he opened his hand, revealing a large diamond ring.
“What…” Buffy gaped at him.

Spike smiled. “Read the inscription, it explains it all.”

Buffy took the ring, unable to stop her hands from trembling. It was a two carat princess cut diamond solitaire. She looked at the inscription.


‘To Buffy, my happily ever after’

Buffy sobbed, looking up at Spike. He immediately frowned. “You don’t like it?”

Buffy shook her head “Oh God, Spike, I love it,” she cried, wrapping her arms around herself.

Spike breathed an audible sigh of relief. He pulled back smiling. “Buffy, kitten…will you marry me?”

Buffy closed her eyes, trying desperately to stop the tears streaming down her face. Opening them slowly, she smiled when she saw the nervous look on Spike’s face. “I guess,” she sighed, rolling her eyes.

Spike growled, tackling her back onto the bed, causing Buffy to giggle uncontrollably. “You little minx!” he teased, nuzzling her neck.

Resting up on his elbows, he smiled, “I can’t believe you came into that bookstore today of all places.”

“Well, you have my mom to thank for that, she sent me in there to get her a book.” Buffy shrugged.

Spike raised an eyebrow. “She sent you to that bookstore?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Buffy, your mother knew I was going to be there.” Spike told her.

Buffy thought about it a minute, then smiled, “Well, I guess we both need to thank her then.”

“Later,” Spike said, leaning in for another kiss.

Buffy moaned, “Mmm, much later.”





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