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As it turned out, Andrew wasn’t at home. In the apartment, Dawn fussed around, apologising for the untidiness, trying to hide discarded cups and magazines, straightening cushions. Spike watched her quietly. “Nice place.”

“Yes. It is. Just a bit small, what with Andrew and all, but Buffy says prices in Rome… There!” She nudged a plate under the sofa with her foot. “You could sit down.”

“OK…”

She sat next to him and leapt up almost immediately. “Oh! Beer! We have beer.” She turned to him. “I could get you a beer.” She was trying very hard to be the perfect little hostess. He knew the signs - as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof and trying to work up some courage. Little Bit had something to say, and didn’t know how to say it – memories of confessions, of wheedling requests, of transparent lies, of embarrassed (and embarrassing) questions during all of those months he’d watched over her. Yeah – he knew the signs.

He smiled at her “Beer would be good.”

She disappeared into the kitchen and reappeared with two bottles, one of which she handed to him. She sat down again, threw him a nervous smile and toyed with her drink. “Do you remember the time you caught me with that beer?”

Hiding in the yard with a bottle stolen from the fridge, some childish notion that drinking beer might make her more grown up, might make things easier. Spike in full looking-out-for-little-bit mode.

“I should bloody well thump you.”

“Why? You drink, seems to help you.” She’d glared at him defiantly and taken a drink, wincing. Turned out she didn’t much like the taste.

“Yeah, that’s right.” He’d frowned at her. “OK. Go to it. Drink as much as you want. And tomorrow? Everything’s still going to be there to be dealt with – only you’ll have to deal with it while your head’s thumping and your guts are heaving and your mouth feels like something’s died in it.” He sighed and crouched down next to her. “It’s not the answer, pet.”

Her lip had trembled “What is the answer Spike?” She’d looked at him, tears pricking her eyes. “I miss her.”

“I know. Me too.” They’d sat shoulder to shoulder in the quiet darkness of the yard, the discarded beer soaking away into the parched earth.

“Glad to see it didn’t put you off for life.”

“Seems not.”

There was a long silence while Spike waited for her to speak. Not quite ready, it seemed. “So.” He took a pull from the bottle. “What you been up to?”

“Oh, you know, usual teenage stuff. Worrying about acne. Listening to annoyingly loud music. Sorting out the aftermath of the latest closely averted apocalypse. Dating boys...”

“Living ones?” He cocked his eyebrow.

“Yes! Jeez am I ever going to be allowed to forget that one!” Dawn blushed.

“Probably not.”

She grinned. “Been going to school, too - where I’m rapidly becoming a valuable and productive member of society and not at all with the mindless little automaton. I can also order beer and curse fluently in Italian. Oh! And acciughe, that’s anchovies, so I can even get my favourite pizza.”

“That’s my girl.”

“You?”

“Long story. Long, confusing and kind of painful.” He looked down at his beer with a frown.

“You wanna tell me about it?”

“Maybe… but not now.” Not nearly ready. There was another long silence.

“Spike?” Dawn’s voice was hesitant.

“Yeah?” he looked over at her bent head. OK – here it comes.

“I’m sorry.”

Wasn’t expecting that. He gave her a puzzled frown. “For what?”

“Last year. I threatened to set fire to you.”

“Yeah, you did too. It was kind of scary…”

“I scared you?”

“Well, yeah…”

“Neat!” She gave a brief smile, but didn’t raise her head. “It was just… you hurt Buffy.”

“I know.” He kept his voice level and calm as flashes of memory scorched through his mind, the red hot knife that never left him twisting in his guts.

“Xander told me.” She winced at the memory.

“He did, did he?” Spike dropped his eyes – he could just imagine that conversation.

“I couldn’t believe…” a puzzled frown “…and Buffy wouldn’t… talk, I mean, so nobody… everybody kept treating me like a child.” She shook her head. “When you came back, it was just… too hard. I thought I hated you.”

“Well, I wasn’t so keen on me either.” He took another drink of his beer to drown the sour taste of remembered madness.

“No. I know.” She paused. “Buffy told us you’d changed, that you had a soul. But the thing was…” She struggled for the words, “Xander had a soul and he hurt Anya, and Willow had a soul and she nearly destroyed the world. So – what was the big deal with souls? You were kind of nice without one until Buffy…” She frowned “So was the soul-having going to make so much difference? Then… then I started to wonder. Do I have a soul? I mean, I’m not exactly with the normal coming into existence and all… so have I got one? And if I haven’t and not having a soul is evil like Xander told me, then… but I don’t feel evil…” She gave a wry smile. “That was about when I gave up with the thinking. See? Complicated. It hurts my brain.”

“Yours and mine both, pet. Reckon it’s kind of over-rated, personally.”

“Thinking or the soul?”

He smiled. “Probably both.” He shook his head. “You’re not evil – soul or no. Believe me, I know evil.”

“Oh, I know I’m not. Well, no more evil than a girl needs to be.” She gave him a quick grin and then sighed. “Anyway, soul, whatever… can’t see it makes an awful lot of difference to some people. I don’t understand what went on with you and Buffy.” She looked at him solemnly. “And I’m not sure I want to. But you were always good to me and last year you were there for all of us, despite everything. And then… at the end… Buffy told us it was all down to you.”

“It was down to all of you. All I did was wear a flashy piece of jewellery.” He shrugged.

“You know that’s not true. It’s taken me a long time.” She looked off into the distance. “We did a lot of travelling, you know, just after. And everyone was so wrapped up in their own stuff – coming that close to the end of the world kind of focuses the mind. So I did a lot of trying to get things straight in my mind. Still a way to go, and it’s not easy, but no-one said the whole dealing thing would be a party.”

Spike looked at her – little bit was all grown up. Part of him ached for the child she had been, but here she was dealing with stuff that would send a weaker will screaming into insanity. He felt stupidly proud of her. “Growing up’s not all it’s cracked up to be. You’re doing good.”

“Some days.” She looked down. “I wish we could have talked.”

“Me too.”

She smiled at him. “Enough with the wallowing. You want that pasta yet? And then you can give me some good reasons why I shouldn’t call Buffy, because frankly...” There was the sound of someone fumbling with the catch of the door. Dawn gave a tight-lipped smile. “Oh, good!” she said “The cabaret’s arrived.”

She leapt to her feet, rushed across the room and pulled open the door on a surprised Andrew, key in hand. She folded her arms and glared at him, blocking his view of the apartment. “Andrew.”

“Umm… Dawn?” He smiled at her nervously.

“Andrew… is there something you’d like to tell me?”

“Ahh…” He thought for a moment then grinned weakly. “No… I don’t think so… Unless - you cleared under the sofa? Is this is about the magazines, because…”

Dawn rolled her eyes. “No, not the magazines. Just wondered if, you know, you’d maybe met anyone lately?”

“I meet lots of people.” Andrew tried out his best 'man-of-mystery' look. Dawn was clearly unimpressed. “Umm… anyone in particular?”

“Oh, I dunno… like a vampire maybe?”

Andrew glanced back along the corridor and then looked back at her. “How did you know?” he asked in awe.

Dawn pressed her lips together and took a step back into the apartment.

Andrew caught sight of Spike. “Avete ritornato!” he rushed across the room and flung his arms around him as he cowered on the sofa. “Oh, come li ho mancati!”

“Will you get off my knee?” Spike’s voice was muffled by Andrew’s shoulder.

“Well, somebody’s clearly pleased to see you.” The voice from the doorway was heavy with sarcasm.

“Oh, for… What the bloody hell are you doing here?” Spike disentangled himself from Andrew and scowled at Angel.

“Just thought I’d drop by,” Angel shrugged.

“What, you were just passing?” Spike gave a snort. “What’s up? Scared I might be muscling in on your ex?” He gave an exasperated sigh. “We’ve been through this. Moving on, remember?”

“Yeah? So why are you here? In Buffy’s apartment?” Angel stood over Spike, arms folded.

“Me? Least I’ve got a reason to be in Rome. What’s your excuse? Shouldn’t you be back in LA doing evil law firm stuff and snuggling up with dog girl? Or has she found herself a new poodle already?” Spike stood up to face Angel.

“Will you stop with the dog references?” Angel glared at him.

“There’s a dog?” Dawn struggled to get some sort of grip on the conversation.

“Well, some of the time…” Spike explained. “His girlfriend.”

“Nina is a werewolf,” Angel growled at Spike.

“You have a girlfriend?” A surprised comment from Dawn.

“Yup. Blonde, cute… nice cold, wet nose…” Spike grinned at Angel.

“Anyone mind if I smack Spike? Because I’d really like to smack Spike right now.” Angel glared at Spike.

“Oh, I’d like to see you try.” Spike smirked, tongue against his teeth.

“Boys! Boys!” Andrew clapped his hands and was rewarded with a glare from both vampires. “Please! Let’s not fight!”

“This is turning into some sort of bloody farce.” Spike stalked off into the kitchen. “I’m going to get another beer.”

“Hee! Cold wet nose…” Dawn giggled. Angel glared at her. “Oops.”

The sound of a key in the lock drew all eyes to the apartment door. They heard Buffy long before they saw her.

“That’s it! I am so through with that man! Hasn’t anyone told him how annoying he can be? I mean, no-one could love someone that perfect! Been spoiling for a good fight all night, and would he rise to it? Oh, no. Not him with his “yes, my love, you must be right”’s and…” She stopped dead as she finally took note of the unexpected face turned her way. “Angel!”

“Umm… hi?”

Buffy folded her arms across her chest and glared at him, tight-lipped. “And you are here, why?”

“That’s it? That’s my welcome?” Angel raised his arms. “Last time it was all with the kissing and basking…”

“Yeah? Well, that was then. Things change.”

“Well, yes,” Angel snorted. “People sure do.”

“Which means exactly?” The glare became harder.

“Well, you know, last we talked you were all ‘oh, I’m not done with the baking’. I’m supposed to wait ‘til you’re all cooked through. So, the minute my back’s turned you’re offering… cookie dough to The Immortal.”

“I’m what? Oh, for… Look, the whole true love forever thing? Kind of over it. I’ve moved on. Maybe you should try it, because all this wallowing in the past does not exactly make for a healthy life.” She paused and considered then went on “… unlife… whatever.”

“I’ve moved on.” Angel bristled. “I have a girlfriend.”

“You do?” Buffy raised an eyebrow.

“Well, sort of…”

“Well, sort of. But then I guess it can’t be easy fitting her around your demanding and oh-so-important new job. You wanna talk people changing? Let’s talk Champion of the People to Evil Underling…”

“Who’s evil? I’m so not evil,” Angel blustered “And I’m nobody’s underling.”

“Well,” Andrew shrugged. “You’re working for a big evil old law firm… kind of like Keanu Reeves in Devil’s Advocate…”

“Oh, he was good in that!” Dawn turned enthusiastically to Andrew.

“Yes… but I always preferred him as Neo.” Andrew’s gaze became distant. “In black…”

“He was hot in black,” Dawn sighed in agreement.

“Who’s Neo?” Angel frowned in puzzlement.

Buffy gave a snort of disbelief. “Will you stop? What is going on here? You’ve come half way across the world to talk about baking and The Matrix?” The others exchanged nervous glances, and Buffy frowned suspiciously. “What?”

“Buffy…” Dawn began.

“Oh, here it comes.” Buffy heaved a sigh. “Is that why he’s here? What’s gone wrong this time? If it’s another apocalypse count me out – I’ve retired from the whole saving the world a lot thing.”

“Nothing’s… wrong… not exactly...” Dawn threw an unhappy glance in the direction of the kitchen. “Buffy…”

Buffy frowned and followed the line of her gaze. And her mind and heart froze.

“Hello Buffy,” Spike said softly.





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