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Author's Chapter Notes:
sorry for the late update...but i have a slightly longer than usual chapter. i hope you like it...this is going to be a turning point in the story so i hope you enjoy it. please review they mean a lot...thanks!!!
Chapter 11: Feel Mine

Spike walked through her front door soundlessly, knowing that Buffy’s mother was sleeping. He took the stairs two at a time, and crept into her room where he knew she would be. He found her sitting by her windowsill looking out into the night.

“I’m sorry I ran away.” She apologized without even turning to look at him. “It just got a little too much for me to handle I guess.” Buffy finally turned to look at him, and watched as Spike stepped further into her room. “I know who that was…I’ve seen him before in my dreams. I don’t know what his name is or anything, but I know that I’m connected to him in some way.” She concluded looking back outside.

“That was Angelus.” Spike stated with distaste. “He may just be a vampire, but he has more power and pull around these parts than any other demon in the Hellmouth. He’s legendary…kind of like a celebrity to other vampires.”

“Hmm…” Buffy said furrowing her brow. “I don’t know what I saw in him…he has a huge forehead.” Spike had to laugh.

I’m liking this Buffy more and more. he thought to himself with a smile. “I’m gonna have to agreed with you there, pet.”

“Spike…what if I never get my memories back?” she asked, fear in her voice. “How am I suppose to continue my job and go to school when I don’t remember anything about it? I know it looks like I’m taking this well but I’m not. I’m scared and confused…everything just seems so unfamiliar to me.” Buffy took one last look out the window, and then migrated to her bed and lay down on her side. Spike lay curled up behind her, pulling her back to his chest. “The only person I feel comfortable with is you…and you’re not even a person, you’re a vampire. Is that weird?” she asked him with a furrowed brow.

Despite the fact that she stated he wasn’t a person, Spike chuckled. “Well, when you put it that way, yes. But it’s okay to feel out of place sometimes…I feel that way all the time.” He admitted.

“You do?” she question in a surprised tone, turning her head towards him a little.

“Yeah…I live in a world full of people with heartbeats and souls. I haven’t felt my heartbeat for a hundred and fifty years…I’ve forgotten what it feels like. I can’t even go out into the sunlight…go to the beach, to the park during the day. I’ll live forever and I can’t have children. That’s as out of place as it gets.” He laughed bitterly.

Buffy slowly grabbed Spike’s cold hand and placed it gently over her heart. “If you can’t feel yours…you can feel mine.” She whispered to him, and he swore he felt his whole body heat up with adoration.

The vampire pulled her tighter to him, and breathed in the sweet smell of her golden locks. His eyes filled with tears and her gesture, but he stopped them from falling. In this moment, Spike felt more love for her now then he ever did.

“Sleep now, luv.” Spike said; his voice strained. “Well talk more in the morning.” He placed a sweet kiss to the side of her head, and watched as she slowly slipped into slumber.

* * * * *

When the blonde woke up the first thing she felt was a strong arm holding her to an equally strong chest. Next, she felt her legs tangled with jean incased muscular ones. Spike. She smiled to herself. Buffy slipped herself out of his embrace and headed to the bathroom.

When she came back, Spike was still in the same position except in her place was a pillow in which he hugged. Buffy sat down on the edge of the bed and watched him sleep. He looked so different. He didn’t look out of place at all. He actually looked normal, like a real person. The way his chest raised up and down with his unneeded breath, how his lips looked soft and pout despite his bad boy look. Without thinking first, Buffy leaned down and gave him a soft lasting peck on the lips.

Spike woke to Buffy’s lips on his. And first it came as a surprise, but he soon recovered and kissed her back. Now it was Buffy’s turn to be surprised. She pulled away and looked at him with wide eyes. “You’re awake.”

Spike sat himself up against the headboard. “Well when you have a beautiful woman kiss you, it’s kinda hard not to wake up.” He stated with a smile. “So what brought that on?”

Buffy blushed, and looked down and her hands. “Well…I don’t know, I-I guess…” she took a deep breath before continuing. “You looked so peaceful.” She admitted quietly. Her head shot up after a second. “Y-You think I’m beautiful?”

Spike reached up and brushed her hair out of her face. “Always.” Spike dropped his hand to his side. It was about time he finally told her. It was killing him to hold his feelings back all the time. “Pet, there’s something you should know. I know it may seem sudden, but this has been going on for years, and I think it’s about time you knew.”

Buffy was starting to get worried. “Knew what?”

“That I love you, Buffy. Head over heels, insanely in love with you.” Spike claimed calmly as if he were talking about the weather, but with so much emotion that she felt it. “I’m not expecting anything back…just that you believe me, and accept it, because now that you know I’ll want to show every chance I can.”

Buffy smiled with tears in her eyes. She reached for his hand and held it in both of hers. “You can show me whenever you want.” Spike took that opportunity to lean in and kiss her with so much passion and love that Buffy felt dizzy with it. He pulled her closer to him, and she straddled his legs and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Spike pulled away for a second. “God, I love you so much.” He whispered against her lips. He placed several loving kisses on her lips, cheek, and along her jaw. “But…but maybe we should take things slow. I don’t want to rush into things just yet…I just want to bask in the fact that I have you in my arms right now.” He pulled her down so that he head was resting on his shoulder and her chest was pressed against his.

Buffy closed her eyes, and let a content smile grow on her face. “Mmm…bask all you want. You know I feel happier now with you then I have since I got out of the hospital. Even though I don’t remember my past…I feel like a part of me knew that this was how it was suppose to be: Us…together.”

Spike smiled as well as his fingers combed through her hair. “Hmm…that’s funny because you never showed any sign of liking me as anything other than a friend.” The two stayed that was for a long moment, in silence, just enjoying being together. “I hope you know that I don’t plan on letting you go now that I have you.”

“I wouldn’t let you even if you tried.” She countered.





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