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Author's Chapter Notes:
sorry for the late update, i'm working a lot and when i get home from work i'm too tired to even turn on the computer. But anyways enough excuses. I have another chapter for you, and i'm thinking there will only be a couple more chapters left of this fic. and then it's on to finishing the other ones. I've got a bunch of new ideas and i want to get them out but i have to finish these first. soooo enjoy
Chapter 15: I’m Glad You Told Her


Buffy, Spike and Katya walked with purpose towards the mansion Angelus was living in. Buffy had a stake tucked into the back of her jeans, and Spike was holding a long sword at his side. It was for Buffy once she got her powers back. Buffy made it clear that Spike and Katya could help until she got her powers back, but when she did, they were to let her kill Angelus on her own. The blonde vampire was reluctant to agree at first but with the look on her face when she countered him, he quickly changed his mind.

They were standing outside the mansion now, preparing themselves for the battle that has been a long time coming. “You can do this Buffy.” Spike said squeezing her hand in his.

“I know I can…I have to.” Her voice was filled with determination. With that she walked forward and pushed the door open with a grimace. It was heavy. Buffy strolled in with confidence, Spike and Katya trailing behind her. The powerless slayer spotted Angelus lazily lounging on a couch reading a book, dinner dead on the floor beside him.

“Was wondering when you’d betray me and bring them to me.” The dark vampire didn’t even look away from the book in his hands, he simply turned the page. “I guess I could go for some dessert.” He closed the book and leaped up gracefully to turn to Buffy. He frowned. “Of course you’re not going to taste as good without a fight.” He stepped towards her, and Spike stepped in front of his girlfriend with a snarl as his face changed. He couldn’t stop the intense urge to protect her. “Ooh…do I have to go through your bodyguard first?” Angelus put his game face on and threw a punch at Spike. Spike dodged it, and caught him in the stomach hard, making the other vampire bend in agony.

“Buffy go!” Spike shouted. While Angelus was talking his head off, Buffy was subtly scanning the room looking for her power center. She spotted the box and waited for Spike’s cue. When she heard it, Katya and her booked it to the case and the small vampire broke the lock off. Buffy took the orb in her hand.

Angelus saw this and looked pissed. Spike took the opportunity to punch him hard in the face. The force of it knocked him to his knees. Angelus wasn’t even fighting back anymore. It was like part of him knew it was over. But the other part wasn’t going to stop fighting back. He started standing when Buffy spoke.

“It’s over Angel.” She let the orb drop and it smashed on the marble floor. Yellow light curled up from the floor and floated around her, entering her in the center of her chest. The blonde breathed heavily feeling the power go through her, and her eyes blackened when the light was gone. She looked at Spike, and then at Katya. The little vampire passed her the sword and she took it from her little hands. “It’s over Angelus.” Buffy said again. She strode towards the two other vampires and placed her hand on Spike’s shoulder, silently asking him to step back. Buffy stood talk in front of her ex lover, her head high, and the tip of her sword poking Angelus in the chest.

She walked forward as he walked back, stopping the tip from puncturing the skin. “Everything you did, everything you thought would hurt me…to bring me down, it’s all over now.” She kept on pushing him until his back was pressed against the cold wall. She smiled. “You thought that because I loved you I wouldn’t be able to do this…that I would miss Angel too much.” Angelus looked incredibly calm for the moments before his death. “And some part of me will.” Buffy didn’t see Spike’s head bow in defeat. “But you know what I realized in the few weeks without my memory? That you and Angel are one in the same; hiding behind one another. That without him there would no you and vise versa, and that means he could control you if he so wanted to…but he was weak, and so are you.” She smirked as Angelus swallowed hard. “Spike can control his demon,” she whispered so only he can hear. “Spike is strong, and that makes him a better man then you or Angel could ever be.” With that she pulled out her stake and aimed it at him heart.

Before it even touched his shirt, Angelus grabbed her hand and jerked it to the side, making her lose her weapon, breaking her wrist, and breaking her stance as well. He pushed her away from him and kicked the sword out of her hand. He kicked her in the stomach and she dropped to her knees. He started clapping. “Wow, Buffy! What a speech! That was touching really, I almost cried.” He taunted. He stepped towards her and hauled her onto her feet. Spike ran at him and tackled him to the ground. He was not going to stand around and watch her get hurt.

When Buffy regained her composure, Spike backed off and let Buffy take over. She had her memory back. Spike was sure that Buffy could defeat Angelus, but a part of him was worried that it would be the end of what they had together. She would remember who he was and tell him that it would never work. He tried to keep his composure and Buffy sauntered towards her ex, who was now rising from the ground. Buffy pushed him back down to the ground with her foot, and pierced the sword through his shoulder; pinning him to the ground.

She smiled when he screamed. “I know it won’t kill you…but it hurts doesn’t? To be at someone else’s mercy, to feel incapacitated.” The slayer watched Angelus attempt to cock his leg back to kick at her. “Ah-ah-ah!” she pulled the sword out of his shoulder, and rammed it into his leg. “I’m not finished with you yet. You lied to me…you used Angel against me…to make me believe you. You haunted me in my dreams. You made me fall in love with you, and then you hunted me down like the animal you are.” She crouched down to his level, still gripping the sword. She whispered. “But I’m not going to kill you. I’m not going to kill you because a part of me still loves you…and I hate you for that.”

Angelus smirked at her and breathed an unnecessary sigh of relief. Spike frowned at the events unfolding before him. He couldn’t believe Buffy was going to let him live. He couldn’t believe how naive she was to think that he wouldn’t kill her as soon as he was free. “I guess there’s hope for you yet, Buff.” His cocky tone was prominent.

Buffy grabbed the stake tucked into the waistband of the back of her pants, and plunged it into his heart. She saw the look of shock on his face. “Don’t you hate being lied to?” she asked him with a cold look on her face before he vanished into to dust before her eyes. She took a deep breath before standing and walking over to the other vampires. Spike looked shocked, and Katya looked impressed. Buffy turned to the little vampire. “Go. Take what you need from this place, and go…don’t come back.” She said referring to the mansion. “If I see you again I’ll stake you.” Katya ran to the coffee table and grabbed the wad of money she knew Angelus kept there and left, leaving Buffy and Spike to look at each other.

“You got you’re memory back.” He stated.

Buffy nodded. “Yup. Everything just came flashing back to me when I got my powers back; everything from being a little girl with my parents, to being called and to lying in that hospital bed.” Buffy shook her head as her memories swarm her thoughts.

“And what about after that?” spike asked tilting his head to gauge her reaction.

Buffy’s head snapped up to look at him. “Everything after too.” She whispered.

Spike nodded and took a step closer to her. “And what does that mean…for us? I mean you know how I feel now…about you.” She started nervously. “And I know you felt something too.” He was trying to keep it together. His voice was wavering and his eyes were tearing up, she was just looking at him giving him no indication of what she was going to say.

Buffy closed her eyes, in an attempt to block out the sad expression on his face. He loved her so much, and she didn’t know how she was going to break this to him after everything he did for her. She relied on him over anyone else, built a friendship with him, and had feelings for him that she couldn’t explain. “I did…feel something.” She claimed as she opened her eyes. She instantly regretted it. Spike’s head hung in despair at her words.

“Did.” He repeated quietly.

“I did. But…I don’t know what I felt. I wasn’t myself; I didn’t know what I knew then or now. All I knew was you.” Tears were coming to her eyes and she tried hard to keep them at bay so she could get out what she wanted to say. “All I knew was how you were there and that you were the one that saved me, that you were the only one that understood me. My past with you didn’t affect me because I wasn’t there to live it out.” Buffy took a step towards him and he took a step back, wounded. “I appreciate everything you did for me…”

Spike was starting to get angry despite the tears falling down his cheeks. He knew this was going to happen. That’s why he wanted to stay away in the first place…so she wouldn’t hurt him like she was doing now. “But…” he predicted.

Buffy sighed. “But I can’t be with you. Not until I figure out my feelings; if they’re real and they’re there,” she continued placing her hand on her heart. “Or if I just fell in love with the idea of loving my hero.” She took a step closer and this time he didn’t move, he just let her get close and cried silently as she raised her hand to his face. “I’m not mad at you about what happened that morning.” Spike didn’t have to guess that she was talking about the morning he told her that he loved her and that amazing kiss they shared. “You felt you needed to tell me, and I don’t think I would have reacted that way under any other circumstances, so I’m glad that you had her to tell.” Buffy stroked his cheek, as a tear trickled down hers. “I’ve never felt that loved by anyone.” She shook her head as her voice choked up. “So thank you.” She whispered. Buffy placed a soft kiss to his lips before letting her hand trail down his cheek, then neck, then chest. She walked past him and out of the mansion, leaving him there to weep as his heart broke.

She never meant to hurt him. But she knew that if she led him to believe there was something there, when there wasn’t it would only hurt him even more, and the thought alone made her heart clench.


Chapter End Notes:
there you go guys. I didn't want it to be so that when she got her memories back she'd be all in love and running into his arms, because that's just not our Buffy. I wanted her to be completely different from her non-jaded self. and i hope that i protrayed that for you. please leave a comment after the beep


BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!



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