Dawn had just barely begun to peak, it's dim light stealing past the edges of the heavy curtains that covered the window, when Buffy awoke. There was none of the confusion she might have expected to feel at waking up in a strange room; she knew exactly where she was and all the circumstances that had led up to this point. Slowly, careful not to wake Spike, she slid out from underneath his arm and eased off the bed. Her bare feet made a shushing sound on the carpet as she crept toward the window and edged behind the full-length curtain so that she could look out without letting any of the light filter into the still-dim room.
The ocean was right outside, and despite the early hour, there were already some people on the beach; sunworshippers wanting to get in as many rays as possible, joggers taking advantage of the cooler air, children who had been too excited to sleep any longer. One young teenager in particular caught Buffy's eye, probably because she looked a bit like her own younger self. Blond hair tied back, tanning lotion gleaming around a pink bikini, the girl wore headphones, smiling and bopping her head to a tune only she could hear as she laid out a towel and prepared to bask. Buffy smiled a little, but tears threatened as she clearly remembered when she herself had been that girl. With nothing more on her mind than perfecting her tan. And maybe getting a date for Saturday night.
Hushing an almost hysterical giggle, Buffy thought to herself that at least she had that part covered. In spades. For whatever reason, she was sure that Spike would happily be her date every Saturday for the rest of the forseeable future. And probably every other night of the week, too. And she didn't really doubt that Angel would want her back, regardless of whatever was going on with Darla. He just didn't let go of anything easily, even when that "thing" was a thinking, breathing person. And she really just didn't know what to do about that.
As the tears started to pool once again, she shook her head sharply, forcing them away. She had cried enough for a few lifetimes, maybe she could hold off the waterworks for today. In fact...she looked speculatively down at the beach. Maybe she could just forget everything for one day. Just one day. To have some real, honest to god fun and maybe relax a bit. She was pretty sure she could convince Spike to stay one more night. He couldn't be any more eager to head back to the mess in New York than she was. One day, as a gift for them. And then, she swore to herself, she would face reality and figure out what exactly she was going to do with the rest of her life.
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Spike was dreaming that he was caught in a wind tunnel. He could hear air rushing loudly past....Muttering about the strangeness of dreams, he flipped over in the bed, trying to coax his mind back to sleep, when two things suddenly became very clear to him. One, he was alone in the bed, and two, the sound was not a dream. His eyes snapped open, instantly searching for Buffy, muscles tense. She had to still be here, where could she possibly have gone this time....Oh. The bathroom door wasn't shut all the way and he could see her silhouetted in the opening. The source of the noise that had invaded his dreams was obviously a hairdryer, which meant that Buffy had been awake for some time. With a groan, he climbed out of bed, heart bridling at the thought of making the necessary arrangements to take them back to New York.
"Spike?" The hairdryer shut off and Buffy peaked around the edge of the door. "Are you awake?" she asked unnecesarily, leaving the bathroom and coming toward him. Without waiting for an answer, she surprised him by moving straight into his arms and giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.
Slightly stunned, he stared at her. The weeping, over-wrought girl of the night before had been replaced by a Buffy he hadn't seen in awhile. Not that she wasn't always exquisitely beautiful to him, but so often lately she had been hurt or sad, that he had forgotten just how stunning she could be when she wasn't struggling under the weight of some world-ending crisis. Her hair was curled and pinned casually on top of her head, and she was wearing a simple green sundress she had procured from somewhere, probably the hotel shop. As the sleeve shifted on her shoulder, he could see a strap of black beneath it, one that looked curiously thick to belong to a bra. But more than the outfit and the hair, what had him blown away was the expression on her face. She was smiling, nearly beaming, and her green eyes were dancing with mischief.
"You are so gorgeous," he whispered sincerely, almost reverently, making her smile grow even brighter.
"Do you like it?" she asked, giving a small twirl. "I thought we both needed some fresh clothes, so I went downstairs while you were sleeping..." A small wrinkle appeared on her forehead, marring the bright expression of a moment before. "I hope you don't mind...I charged everything to the room. I'll pay you back."
"Don't even mention it," he growled playfully, daring to sweep her off her feet for a moment to spin in a small circle around the room. "I'd pay anything to see you look so happy, pet."
She giggled and as always, the sweet sound melted his heart. He was mush in her hands, ready and willing to do anything she wanted, say anything, be anything...wear anything? "Um, pet," he said carefully, eyeing the packages laid out on the dresser. Presumably they held clothes for him, but something he could see peeking out of the bag had him wondering. "Just exactly what do you have in mind for today?"
Her smile slipped for the barest of moments, and Spike's heart constricted, wondering just how much of this new levity was real. But then it was back again, and he though maybe he had imagined the sudden worry in her eyes. She backed away and sat down on the bed, leaning back on her arms so she could easily look up at him. "I"m not really that eager to go back right away. I kinda think I could use a break from everything; really just wanna forget for a little while. And it's been so long since I spent any time here," she admitted. "And so I thought 'what's one more day'?" Flinging her arms out expansively, she fell back on the bed, so that Spike had to lean over her to see her eyes, make sure this was really what she wanted.
"You want to stay here today?" he asked, kneeling on the bed, head propped up on an elbow that rested just to the side of her head. He wasn't any more eager than she was, to hurtle right back into the mess waiting for them to sort out. After being so afraid she was lost to him, he was more than happy to follow her lead now and try to forget, just for a little while. Oh, he knew everything, all the problems would still be waiting for them, but surely they would be stronger, could face them better, after some recovery time. Right? Without thought, he reached out to caress her face, tracing her lips gently, just so bloody glad she was here for him to touch.
"Yeah, I do," Buffy sighed quietly, eyes quivering closed at the contact, her breathing slightly hitched. Easily, he leaned in to close the distance, bringing his lips to hers, wanting the connection, wanting a taste of her, just wanting. Her hands automatically came up to link behind his head, holding him to her, fingers caressing the nape of his neck and ruffling his hair. It was so easy for him to get lost in her, so easy to forget. With a shuddering breath, Spike gently broke the kiss and opened his eyes to look down at her, laid out on the hotel bed in her pretty green dress like a gift he could unwrap, technicolor against the white duvet. He probably could, doubted she would protest, knew it would take only a few small moves on his part to make her eager....Regretfully, he stood up and moved a few steps away. He wanted to be able to touch her, have her, openly, with no complications, and since he hoped to god they were close to that, surely he could wait a little longer.
Buffy made a mewl of protest at his sudden move that almost made him reconsider, but she sat up and met his eyes wryly, understanding without him having to say the words. "So, today?" he prompted.
"Today," she grinned, a wicked gleam lighting her green eyes. "Today, I want to go to the beach."
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Several hours later, Spike contemplated whether he might actually have gone stark-raving mad. Maybe the plane crashed, or Angel had actually managed to get in one good punch, and he was lying in a hospital bed somewhere, dead to reality and instead living in some crazy dream world where he got to go to the beach with Buffy, massage sunscreen into skin as soft and smooth as original sin, while she held her hair back and smiled at him over her shoulder. Where he got to lie next to her prone form on a sandy beach in front of a million people who couldn't care less. Where it seemed like he and Buffy were just an ordinary couple, doing ordinary couply things. Where things actually seemed like they might work out.
With a small sigh of contentment, Spike tugged the brim of the cap covering his tell-tale platinum locks further down over his head. He definitely didn't want to be recognized here. Didn't want anything to mess with the small island of denial they had carved out, just for today. That was all they needed anyway, for the press to snap shots of him sunning with his married mistress....Which was of course, how they saw her. They didn't see the truth, which was way too complicated for anyone to suss out, including him and Buffy sometimes. All he knew was that he loved her beyond reason and please god she was finally going to leave that fucking bastard husband...
"Spike." Her breathy voice, dazed with heat, interrupted his internal monologue, and he quickly banished all the evil thoughts. No worries for today. Right. "Yeah, luv?" he answered gently.
"Just seeing if you were awake." She lazily opened her eyes, squinting a little in the sun, and then sat up abruptly, reaching a tentative hand out toward him. "Oh my god, are you okay?"
"Of course," he answered, puzzled. She hadn't suddenly added mind-reading to her talents, now had she?
"Your chest," she gestured, lips quirking in amusement, even though her eyes were concerned. "Spike, did you even use sunscreen?!?"
"Um, no?" he answered sheepishly, a rueful look in his eyes as he followed her gaze down to his chest, which was now decidedly pinkish edging toward red. He had been way too involved in smoothing the cream into every crevice of her delicious body, giddy with delight at having an legitimate reason to reacquaint himself with every perfect inch of her,covered as she was by only a tini black bikini that he almost didn't want her leaving the room in...
"Spike, focus!" She laughingly brought his attention back into the present. "Come on, we have to get you out of this sun."
They gathered up their towels and started back to the hotel, fingers linked and swinging gently between them. Both of them felt the strange normalcy of such a small gesture, but didn't want to remark on it in case talking about the thing broke the spell.
"So what now, pet?" he asked. "We've still got the better part of the afternoon to spend here."
Buffy carefully considered her options, green eyes thoughtful. "Do you think we could get a car?" she asked.
"Sure, sweetheart. Whatever you want," he glanced at her curiously. "What 've you got in mind?"
"I was thinking," she hesitated. "Maybe you won't want to, and if you don't that's fine, but I thought, maybe..." she trailed off, looking up at him uncertainly.
"Whatever you want," he repeated with an affectionate smile. "No babbling necessary."
"Right," she nodded and answered his smile with a small one of her own. "Well, I thought it might be nice to drive around a little, show you the town. Not that there's so much to see, but, I grew up here, you know? And I haven't been back in forever. And I'd like to show you."
A fission of warmth crept down Spike's shoulders, relieving some of the seemingly ever present tension. She wanted to show him the town she grew up in. No matter that she hadn't intentionally brought him here, they were here, and she wanted to show him. That had to mean something. Letting go of Buffy's hand, he slid an arm around her waist and pulled her close, resting his head briefly on top of hers, breathing her in and enjoying the moment. "I would love that," he said sincerely.
Another blindingly brilliant smile and she snuggled into him briefly before tugging loose and darting away. "Race you back to the hotel!"
Surprised into laughing out loud, he started after her, sand flying under their feet as he came close enough to mock grab at her before letting her pull ahead and scoot into the lobby before him. She was giggling again, and the light in her eyes made him giddy. This was how she should always look, always always always, wanted her to be laughing and happy and...
"I win!" she teased, stopping just inside the door to let him in. He couldn't resist putting his arms around her, just wanted to be close to her when she was like this. Spike knew he wasn't thinking quite straight, there was something intoxicating about having his gorgeous girl so carefree and easy with him, and being able to touch her was absolute heaven.
"What do you want for a prize?" He asked, gaze fastening on her mouth. He knew exactly what he wanted.
Her thoughts followed his, and she rose up on her tiptoes so she could reach him, softly brushing his lips in a teasing kiss. Not enough. Arms around her waist tightened and he deepened the connection, letting his tongue play along the seam of her mouth until she gave a small sigh and opened to him. Never enough.
A small cough alerted them to the presence of the desk clerk and they abruptly came back down to earth. Buffy pulled away first, cheeks stained red as she closed her eyes in embarassment. "Whoops," she murmured softly, looking up at him from under lowered eyelids, a smile still playing at the corners of her mouth.
"Never mind, luv," he bent to whisper in her ear, breath warm against her cheek. "Bloke's just jealous. Wishes he had a beautiful girl to kiss in public places." With a smile and a wink to her, he approached the desk and made arrangements for a rental car to be delivered for them.
"I'd like to change first, if that's okay," she interjected, avoiding the clerk's eyes, a rosy blush still coloring her face.
"Course. We'll have a few minutes before it gets here. Ready to go up, then?"
They went up to their room, and changed out of their swimsuits, chatting easily about nothing. Buffy changed in the bathroom, but didn't shut the door all the way so she could still talk to Spike. Although he tried not to, she knew when he surreptiously peeked inside the door and she giggled to herself. She was quickly discovering what if felt like to wield a bit of feminine power. It was a heady feeling, knowing Spike was so attracted to her, and it kind of made her feel like a teenager again, just discovering what she could do to a boy with a smile and a toss of her hair. It had never been like that with....Nope. Not going there today. Just going to enjoy.
In a matter of minutes they were changed and heading back down the hallway, hands once again linked. Spike lifted his hand in greeting to the desk clerk, who indicated that their ride was there. When they exited the lobby into the sun-drenched day, the requested car was waiting right out front, keys in the ignition. Buffy stopped abruptly and squealed in glee when she saw that it wasn't a typical rental car sedan, but a roadster convertible.
Spike gave her a sideways smile, congratulating himself for making the special request. "Like it, luv?"
"I love it!" she replied with that sunny smile that was quickly imprinting itself on his heart as his favorite sight in the world. "I always wanted one of these, but they're not very practical in New York...." she trailed off, not wanting to bring up anything remotely tied to the problems of reality.
"Well, we're not in New York, are we," he interjected smoothly, opening the passenger door for her, before getting himself situated in the driver's seat and starting the car.
Buffy bounced a little as she fastened her seatbelt and leaned over to turn on the radio. Scrunching her forehead, she said, "Let me see if I remember what I used to listen to." She thought for a moment and then turned the dial. Surprisingly enough, Blue Flame's first single drifted out of the speakers. "Must still be a good station!" she giggled, as Spike rolled his eyes in mock consternation.
"So where to?" he asked as they pulled out of the parking lot.
After a second of consideration, she directed him to turn right. "Um, that way, I think."
"You think?" he raised an eyebrow. "Not going to get us lost, are you, pet?"
"No," she said, playfully defensive. "It's just been awhile since I was last here."
She pointed out the mall, and the playground near the elementary school she had attended. The high school, next on the list, looked so much smaller than she remembered. It wasn't like she had grown; Buffy was the exact size and height she had been in her junior year, so it was funny that the building seemed to have shrunk while she stayed the same.
"I'll bet you were the Queen Bee in high school," Spike teased, luring her out of the brief reverie she had fallen into.
"Not exactly," she responded lightly. "I was more of an all-around girl. Good grades, friends with everyone, really. I was a cheerleader though."
"Now that I would have liked to have seen," Spike grinned lasciviously. "You in one of those teeny skirts, doing cartwheels and splits..." He drifted off into his own reverie of Buffy dressed as a cheerleader when she shocked him nearly into swallowing his own tongue.
"I still have the uniform. Maybe I could show you sometime," she said innocently, only a hint of a smile and the glint in her eye giving away the seductive overtones.
The car jerked a bit under Spike's hands and he took a deep breath as he steered smoothly back to the center of the road. "You trying to kill me, pet?" he exhaled slowly, only half-joking. Under the circumstances, Buffy had never been sexually bold with him, never teased. He had no idea what she would be like in normal conditions, but if this was any indication, he was in for a hell of a time. That was assuming of course - no. Just no. Not going there.
"This is the downtown area," She went on in a more normal pitch, pointing out the window at a street with shops lining both sides. "Kinda our Main Street, although it isn't called that. There's this bookstore that I used to love to go in, they always had something different, books you couldn't find at a big chain store." There was a slight catch in her voice that had Spike glancing at her in concern, but she went on in nearly the same tone. "And my Mom's gallery used to be right down there. It's a restaurant now. She just rented the space, so it wasn't like I could keep it after..."
Now she couldn't control the quaver in her words, and he quickly reached over to take her hand, caressing her palm in silent comfort. Buffy cleared her throat and squeezed his fingers once before releasing them and continuing in a stronger voice. "So anyway, that's mostly it for the town. Not very large. If we go down this way," she pointed to a side street ahead on the left, "we can do a quick turn through my old neighborhood." She continued to chatter a bit about old neighbors and anecdotes about the town, while Spike followed her directions to a comfortable looking Colonial with a modest front porch and flowers blooming in the yard. He pulled to the side of the wide street and let the car idle while Buffy collected her thoughts.
"It looks nice," he offered quietly.
"It was," she said, a wistful smile on her lips. "You know, things weren't always easy and drama-free, with my dad leaving and all, but still, it was a nice place to grow up. It was home, you know?" Her hands were twisting in her lap, and he reached out to still them, once more letting his fingers stroke her soft skin in an effort to soothe the slight sadness that had come over her.
"I haven't really found that, since here," she continued. "Not in college, or in New York. It just never felt right."
"You'll find it again, sweetheart," Spike promised softly. We'll find it, he added to himself.
"Yeah," she replied, agreeing without any real belief behind it. "So," she brushed a hand over her eyes, visibly pulling herself back from the edge of melancholy. "It's getting kind of late. Maybe we should have dinner?"
"Sounds good," he said, voice still gentle as her smile tugged itself back into place and her inital enthusiasm begin to return.
"I remember this really great little Italian place, or we could just go back to the hotel and order room service..." And out of the blue, there was that seductive tone again. Their eyes caught, heat flaring between them as they contemplated the possibilities. Buffy broke the gaze first, with a small rueful laugh. "On second though, better not."
"Right," he responded, equally rueful. Soon enough, though, he silently promised them both. "So which way to the Italian place?" He started the car again and pulled back onto the road as they headed into the darkening horizon, determined to enjoy what they had left of their day of denial.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
I'm really sorry I haven't been updating. We had a death in our family and I just haven't been able to get my head together enough to write until now. Kinda funny, because I think if this had been one of those angsty chapters it would have been easier to write than Spike and Buffy having fun for once. I don't think this is my best effort, but I'm just thrilled that I was finally able to get it out, and I really hope that now I can keep moving on with the story. Please review!