And speaking of slayers, the one who had fed him her blood was still curled up at his side. Spike ran his hand down her back and nuzzled against her hair. She stretched against him and mewed in her throat.
“Rise and shine, kitten. Let me see those pretty eyes of yours.”
She whimpered, and Spike smiled as he leaned in and captured her lips. She kissed him back, though her eyes remained closed, and Spike trailed his hand into her hair, pulling her closer.
If he’d had more strength, he would’ve already rolled her over and found his place between her thighs. Damn that stake-happy soldier boy…
He knew the moment Buffy woke completely. She pushed against his chest, broke his hold, and rolled off the sarcophagus, tumbling to the ground before she rose to her feet and backed away. “This isn’t happening, Spike.”
Spike frowned in frustration. She had to be kidding him. After last night she was going to pull this? “Why the bloody hell not?”
“Because we just can’t. I can’t be with you and you’re… I can’t.”
“But you love me,” Spike replied. “You said it. I know I’d lost blood and for all I know that chip causes brain damage, but I know I heard you say it. And last night, you came here on your own. Even after you sent me off when I came to your house, you came here to see me.”
“It was a moment of weakness. You left, and I started thinking about things that can’t happen, and I came here. But I shouldn’t have.” She paused, her brow wrinkling. “Okay, well, I should have because otherwise you’d be a pile of dust and I would’ve had to beat Riley to death, but what I was thinking last night…that can’t happen.”
“Yes it can. We were happy before, pet. I really don’t see why that has to end just because the spell did.”
“It does!”
“It doesn’t!”
“Yes, it does!”
“Why?”
“Because you don’t love me!”
Her words met stunned silence from Spike, and for several moments, he simply stared at her. Then, his shock turned to anger. “You arrogant little bint. You honestly think you can dictate who can and can’t love? Love isn’t just about souls, you know. And just because your precious Angel didn’t…”
“No, Spike,” she said quickly, cutting him off before he could say anything else about Angel. “This isn’t about that. I don’t think you can’t love without a soul. I…I believe you loved her.”
“Her?” Spike asked, confused. “You mean Drusilla?”
“No, not Dru. I mean, yeah, I do figured you probably loved her, though let’s not go there right now, okay? I meant spell Buffy.”
Spike’s brow furrowed. “You’re not making any sense at all, Slayer.”
Buffy sighed heavily before she began to explain. “I’m not the girl I was when I was under the spell. She listened to punk rock and wore black nail polish and smoked. I don’t do any of those things.”
“Yeah, and?” Spike replied, one eyebrow arching neatly.
Buffy looked down at the floor, tracing a pattern with the toe of her shoe. “And that’s why you loved her.”
“Bloody hell, you’re one daft bird.”
She looked back up sharply. “Okay, I don’t really know what daft means, but I don’t think it’s very nice.”
“Means you’re a little slow on the uptake, luv.”
Buffy planted her hands firmly on her hips. “See – not very nice. And so not true because I’m right. You hate me, Spike. Remember? You wanted to kill me.”
“I did before I met you.”
“You always wanted to kill me. You wanted to kill me right up until the night I showed up here after the spell.”
“Are you dead?”
“No…”
He smirked at her. “Then I didn’t really want to kill you.”
“That’s… Spike, don’t do this. You know how this will turn out. You’ll realize I’m just boring old Buffy and…” Spike burst out laughing and Buffy glared at him. “Why are you laughing at me?”
“Because you’re being daft again. Buffy, you’re a lot of things, but boring is not one of them.”
She pouted at him, and Spike really wished he was strong enough to tackle her. “I’m not that girl.”
“Please. The great music taste and the cute lil nails were just window dressing, pet. That’s not why I fell in love with her…fell in love with you. God, Buffy, I fell in love with you long before the spell. I mean, yeah, I didn’t put a name to it, but I did. Why do you think Drusilla left me?”
“Because she developed a slime and antlers fetish?” Buffy replied.
Spike gave her a stern look. “And again with the daft. Really, pet, you might want to think about cutting down on the bleach.”
“Oh look who’s talking.”
He smirked at her, and she found herself trembling. He looked gorgeous stretched out on that sarcophagus. “It seems like it’s been a little more detrimental to your mental health.” She snorted and Spike chuckled. “But seriously, kitten, I’ve been in love with you since the beginning. First time I saw you.” He paused for a moment, reliving the memory. “It was at the Bronze. You were wearing a light blue top and you were dancing. The light was hitting you just right, and you were glowing. You stood out above every other person in the room, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. I fell in love with you in that moment, Buffy, and I never stopped. I never will stop.”
She tried to push back the tears that threatened to spill forth at his confession. No one had ever said anything like that to her before, made her feel so desired…so desirable. “Spike, I…”
“If anyone should be worried here, pet, it’s me. If you’re not the same girl, then can you love me? I still listen to punk music, paint my nails black, and smoke cigarettes.”
Buffy looked at him sharply, as if something was finally making sense. “I still love you, but…”
“Opposites attract, baby. Is that why you ran out on me the other morning? Because you thought I wouldn’t love you if you weren’t under the spell.”
“Yes,” Buffy replied with a nod. “I didn’t want you to look at me without that love in your eyes.”
“Never gonna happen.”
“Never?”
“Nope. Come on, Buffy – you know what happened between us was more than any spell. Hell, you know what happened with Willow’s will-be-done bit was more than a spell.”
She looked down, her cheeks coloring slightly. “I do.”
“Besides, what we did most of the time…” He looked her up and down, leering as he did. “That we don’t need a spell for. Something tells me you’re still sodding amazing in bed.”
Her blush deepened. “What if I’m not?”
Spike rolled his eyes. “Please.” He patted his leg. “Stop talking crazy and come ride me.”
“You’re hurt,” Buffy pointed out.
“I’m not that hurt. ‘Sides, you get on top and do all the work, won’t be a problem at all. Now hitch up that bloody skirt.”
“Spike! We’re having a serious conversation here!”
“Yeah, and it’s over. You love me, I love you. End of bloody discussion. Now’s the part where we have make-up sex.”
“I’m still not sure if we should…”
He said nothing, though his actions were enough to make her stop, no words coming out as her mouth hung open. He unzipped his pants, pulled his cock into his hand, and began to stroke. “Come on, baby. You know you want this.” He ran his tongue over his teeth and winked.
Her brain shut off and Buffy began to strip, her eyes trained on the weeping head of his cock. She missed that. Really, really missed that.
Nude, Buffy walked to the sarcophagus and straddled Spike’s hips, poised to take him inside. “Are you sure this won’t hurt you?”
“Trust me, kitten, I’m going to be in a lot more pain if you don’t.”
Buffy smiled and leaned in to kiss him quickly before she sunk down, throwing her head back as she took him all the way in. She moved up and down several times, relearning the feel of him inside before she leaned forward, bracing her hands on his chest as she looked into his eyes.
There it was… The love she’d seen in Los Angeles was still there, shining brightly in his blue eyes.
His hand shook as it came up, his fingers threading in her hair. “No matter what happens, I love you. No spell can change who you really are.”
She wanted to say so many things, wanted to tell him everything she felt, but she couldn’t. She’d never been good with words, especially not like he was. So instead, she rained kisses on his face and neck, hoping he understood.
He panted, stroked her hair, and she knew he did.
The moment before she came, Spike pulled her mouth down to his and kissed her hard, swallowing her passion-filled cry. Buffy trembled as he erupted inside of her, knowing in that moment nothing was truly lost.
The chest beneath her rose and fell with unneeded breath, and Buffy clung to him as the aftershocks rode their course through him. He kissed her hair, telling her over and over again how much he loved her.
Still, one thing was weighing heavy on her mind.
“You’re not beneath me. I didn’t mean it when I said that.” Spike stilled under her, and Buffy reluctantly pulled up to look into his eyes. “Spike? You don’t believe you are, do you?”
“Buffy, I know what I am. Not exactly a worthy lover for the Chosen One.”
“What, a vampire who has the strength to turn away from the dark and chose to be a better man for the woman he loves?”
Spike cleared his throat and looked offended. “Bloody hell, Buffy! Don’t say things like that! That’s not me. I’m still the Big Bad.”
Buffy smirked and patted his rumpled curls. “Sure you are, honey.”
“I bloody well am! I’m the baddest vampire there is, and don’t you forget it, little girl.”
“Whatever you say, dear.”
Buffy chuckled as Spike continued to grumble beneath her but said nothing else. She’d let him have his delusions if they made him feel better. She knew the truth. She’d seen the man behind the monster.
A smile on her lips, Buffy leaned in and kissed his cheek before she whispered against his ear, “I love you, Big Bad.”
A wide grin spread across Spike’s face.
And that is the end of this one. Thank you to all my readers, I hope you enjoyed the story. Please leave a review and let me know what you thought of the ending!
I’m going to hold off on posting any new fics until I get further along on Oedipus Calling, but I have a couple I’ve started, so hopefully you’ll see something new from me soon.
Also, as I said in a note in Oedipus Calling (for those of you reading both), I’ve started using Livejournal for posting fics. Right now I’m pretty much only posting my fics that aren’t Spuffy, though I may start posting new Spuffy fics there, too (I haven’t decided). Either way, my other BtVS fics (none of which are Spike/other or Buffy/other – completely different pairings), including fics from my “Daylight verse” chronicling the life of Buffy and Spike’s family will be posted there. If you’re interested in checking any of these out, they can be found here: http://addie-logan.livejournal.com/ Feel free to friend me.
Again, thank you to everyone who read this story. You guys are what keeps me writing.
~AL