Author's Chapter Notes:
Chapter's title comes from TATU's 'All about us'
(Edit) PLEASE READ THIS:
A/N: MY GOD!!!! I skipped a chapter! Please FORGIVE ME!! I'm such a KLUTZ!!! I made a bit of a mistake with the posting, since I've been posting at a forum, where I've already posted a couple more chapters I was A BIT clueless. I'm so sorry, guys! I confused the '10' from the spuffy realm with the ten in my chapter lol. The prologue is 1, 1 is 2, and so on, sooo... I confused a bit. Please, dun' forget to read chapter 9 before reading chapter 10!

A/N: Hi guys! I'm sorry it took me so long to post this! Specially because it was already written =P To those who have read my LJ, I had a surgery last monday, and I've been in bed these last few days lol. Also, before that, I've been having a BIG writer's block, and I didn't wanna post this without at least having started chapter 13, which, even though I haven't started writing, I already know what It's going to be about, and that's an advance. Hopefully I'll be able to write it in this couple of days, maybe sooner.

And before I leave you guys alone, well, I just wanted to say... THANK YOU SOOO MUCH for your reviews! They're AMAZING! I love them! I'm really happy that you like the story!

Now, on with chapter 10!!


Chapter X: All about us

Buffy was in the car, driving back home.

He’d hung up on her! How rude could he be? He could have just said ‘no’!

Arriving at the buildings parking lot, she prepared to get in and thoroughly kick Spike’s ass.

Opening the front door she was greeted with loud music and the sound of things slamming against the wall.

His door was wide open, so she walked in.

He had ‘The Sex Pistols’ on full blast in his stereo, and she immediately moved to turn it off, stopping the angry sounds of ‘Bodies’ from continuing. Drusilla’s stare from the paintings made her feel nervous, and with a weak voice, she called his name.

He looked at her, his eyes dark. “Why the hell did you do that?”

“Spike, we have neighbors, and those neighbors can SO get us thrown out if they want! And also, they’re millionaires, so they ALWAYS get what they want!”

“Well, I don’t fucking care, because when this shit is over and you leave? I‘ll be a millionaire too!”

Buffy reared back, hurt. “It’s nice to see this doesn’t mean ANYTHING to you.”

“Well, yeah, what did you expect me to feel? I’m sick of you trying to barge in my life and I’m tired of you trying to make me feel guilty for not talking to Giles!”

“Well, I’m sorry! But I feel like I’m the only one telling you what I have been through here! You just close off from me! You hide your past, and then make me tell you mine!”

“I haven’t forced you into telling me!”

“I know, but…” she was cut off by Spike, who had started talking in a low, controlled voice. “You want to know about Drusilla?” he turned his back on her and waited for her answer.

“I… I do... But it’s your decision to tell me”

He sighed, and finally looked at her. His eyes were heavy, dark and depressed. He sat down on his bed, and so did she. “I met her when we were fifteen. I was a geek back then, and she was a very beautiful, Goth princess. I had always had a crush on her since my freshman year in high school, and thought she was out of my reach. That was until she spoke to me one day during the lunch period. She seemed a little strange to me. She spoke in metaphors, and rambled about stars and little fish all the time, but it didn’t matter to me. In my eyes, she was perfect.”

Buffy was silent, so Spike continued “I started changing a lot after meeting her. I became who I am now. She called me her Spike, so I’ve gone by that name ever since. Giles was already married to your mum at the time, if I remember well... He told me he had never been so happy”

There was a moment of silence, and then Spike went on with his story. “So… where was I? Oh, yeah, well, I started dating Drusilla, and well, she was a wild bird. She was into heavy partying, and alcohol. That’s something that everyone knew, and in no time, Giles found out about Dru’s crazy ways through my mother. He warned me about her. Told me to stop seeing her, but I refused. I continued to date her, and some time before we were both sixteen, she started to take heroin”

Buffy let out a slight gasp, and couldn’t help but asking “Did you do it too?”

“I did, sometimes. I just didn’t become addicted to it.”

“Oh. Well, go on…”

“Well, Giles found out about the heroin too, and he said that I had to break up with Drusilla. I basically told him to go fuck himself and never spoke to him again.” Spike sighed, and continued. “We continued dating, and I fell in love with her shortly after we both turned sixteen”

“Our relationship continued till we were eighteen, and the day we finished high school, I asked her to marry me” Buffy lowered her eyes, trying not to break down. He was destroying her, but she had asked for it. Literally. He was just telling his story because she had asked. “We got married, and looked like the perfect couple. Even though she was a little crazy, she said she loved me, and that was enough for me. We got a small apartment. I didn’t want to live with my mother. She was the one that had been telling Giles all about Dru, and she bothered me everyday telling me that he had called, that he was concerned… I just didn’t care, so I moved out. I left the drugs alone, because now that I was married, I considered myself an adult, and knew I didn’t need them because I had my wife and a new life, but Dru… she was another story. When we had been married for a year, I heard the first rumor that she was cheating on me. I didn’t accept it. I didn’t want to, so I blinded myself from the truth. The signals were there… Maybe it had been a one time thing, maybe she had been high… maybe… I was making too many excuses. The rumors didn’t stop. It wasn’t a one time thing, well, the guy had been, but not the cheating. Dru slept with loads of different guys behind my back, and I accepted it because I loved her. When I was 25, I saw that it was enough, even though I loved her, she was humiliating me. I reluctantly broke up with her, even with her threatening me saying that if I left her, she’d kill herself. I didn’t believe her, so I left, and then, the next day they called me from the hospital, telling me that she had overdosed on heroin” At this point, Spike was crying, and so was Buffy.

“I went to the hospital as fast as I could, and when I got there, she was still alive, just unconscious. I begged her not to die, I told her I needed her… But she died anyway… she left me…”

Spike’s words from the last days echoed in her mind. Like a curse.

Don’t leave me… Dru, don’t leave me… Dru… please… I need you… Drusilla…

“She died, and the doctor told me she had been pregnant, but had lost the baby due to the drugs some weeks before... The baby was young, so her regular drug habit had killed it. Dru had been carrying a corpse inside of her… a BABY’S corpse. I was devastated. Even if the child hadn’t been mine, she had killed it just because she needed the fucking drugs. She needed them more than me. I knew I wasn’t that important to her... I wasn't ENOUGH. I was a fool to think she could love me… I was a fool to think anyone could love me… I’m love’s bitch”

“Don’t say that about yourself, Spike… If she didn’t care about you, she was heartless”

“You don’t mean that. You hate me”

“I don’t hate you… You are the most caring, sweet man I have ever met. I don’t know how anyone couldn’t care for you! God knows I do!”

Spike’s eyes flied to meet hers, wide and confused at her slip.

“What did you say?” Buffy was speechless. She stuttered and looked away, embarrassed

“I said that I… I... like you, very much…. And I don’t know how… anyone could not do it… like you, I mean…” She was blushing, her eyes downcast, and her heart and mind racing **Did I say… I care for him? What’s wrong with me? I’m not ready… I’m…**

“I... ok… so… yeah, that’s my story. I lived in London till now, when they called me to tell me about Giles”

Buffy nodded, and then dared to ask him what she was dying to ask since the beginning. “Do you ever regret being with Drusilla?” and then, another question, to make it seem that she was not that interested in the woman “Do you regret not talking to Giles in all these years?”

He was silent for a minute, and then looked at her.

“No, and maybe.” Buffy was disappointed that his first answer hadn’t been a ‘maybe’ too, but she knew that expecting anything else was ridiculous. She looked at him when he started to talk again. “I kinda regret not speaking to Giles because I lost the father-son connection we had. I didn’t enjoy it the way I should.” Buffy nodded, thinking that that was the end of the conversation, then he surprised her by continuing. “And about Dru… well, I don’t regret it, because if I hadn’t lived all of those years of suffering and love with her… I wouldn’t appreciate what I have now since I met you” Her eyes snapped up to his, wide in question. Unfortunately for her, Spike had decided that was the end of their conversation. He stood up and left.

Leaving her sitting on his bed, full of doubts that she wasn’t going to try and find answers to.

At least, not yet.

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Well, that is it! It's a bit short, but chapter 11 is long, so I hope I can make up for this one with it =)

I wanna see what you guys think (You can be mad at me for dissapearing after regular updates xD)

Hope to se I didn't lose any readers! (That would make me very sad! xD)

Love y'all! See you VERY soon! (I promise!)





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