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A/N: Hi people! I'm sorry for the lack of updates! I've been a bit busy, and have been a victim of lazyness lately. Thank you sooo much for your comments on the last chapter. They're wonderful! I hope you like this new chapter, and that you don't forget to review! Love ya!

Chapter XI: Broken

Things had been pretty tense in the house the week after their discussion of Spike's past. They fell back into their routine, but this time, no talking unless it was simple, short sentences. “Good morning”, “Good night” ,”What do you want for breakfast?”, “Hello” and “goodbye” Those were the only words they dared to say to each other.

On Friday night, Spike was getting dressed to go to work. Buffy was in her room, her door closed, just like it was every night since their 'chat'.

She locked herself in her room as soon as she got home from work, and she didn’t come out till dinner. Afterwards, she went to her room again, and didn’t reappear until the following morning.

Tonight, though, he knew was going to be different, because as he was opening the front door to leave for work, she appeared in the hallway.

She looked absolutely beautiful.

She was wearing a dark green lacy top that brought out her eyes, and a black leather skirt that went to mid-thigh. To compliment her outfit she'd chosen knee length brown stiletto boots. Her make up was light, a bit of green eye shadow, and her hair looked more blond than ever, and was in waves around her face.

Buffy looked at him expectantly. She'd hoped to get some kind of reaction from him, so she had dressed like this, and from what she could tell, it had worked. He was looking at her, something similar to awe in his eyes.

“Ummm… Spike? I was going to ask you if you could take me to The Bronze?”
Spike seemed to snap out of his reverie, and answered quickly “Yeah, umm… s-sure, Buffy… come on”

They headed for Buffy’s car, which she now letting him borrow everyday for work. The journey to The Bronze was made in total silence. The hum of the engine the only noise.

When the arrived, the got out of the car and Buffy told him thank you, before walking away. Leaving Spike to watch her walk away.

Neither of them knew why their relationship had become so uncomfortable...
Buffy was sitting at the bar, drinking a martini, listening to Spike play in the background, he was currently singing a cover of one of her favorite songs.

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

What hurt Buffy the most was that she knew the song was about Drusilla. She'd had to listen to him, going on about how much he loved her, using the words another had written, and that fit perfectly with his image of Dru.

’Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

You've gone away, you don't feel me anymore.


His heart was broken because he didn’t have Dru by his side, because he couldn’t tell her he loved her, and she had left him.

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

A feminine voice replaced Spike’s, singing Amy Lee’s part in the original song, and Buffy imagined herself to be the one singing with him, telling him what the woman was saying. She wanted to ‘hold him high and steal his pain away’… If only he could open his heart for her…

’Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
’Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

As Spike sang the chorus with his co-singer, Fred, he spotted Buffy. She was sitting at the bar with her back to him. He felt... hurt, that she wasn’t watching him perform. He was scared because of what she had said that night. She'd said she cared for him, and he'd felt happy that he meant something to her. But the thing was, he really wasn’t ready for those kind of feelings yet. Buffy was right. He was still trying to recover from Drusilla’s death. That was why his song was dedicated to the two women that made him more and more confused about his feelings everyday.

’Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
’Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

’Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away…

You've gone away, you don't feel me anymore

Spike ended his song, to loud cheering from the crowd. Standing up, he presented the next singer, as a part of his MC work.

Buffy remained at the bar, only now, she was staring at her empty martini.

“Ummm… would you like me to buy you a drink to replace that one, miss?”
For a moment, Buffy thought it might have been Spike. The voice had an accent, but then she realized it was Irish, not British. She turned around to see a very handsome man. He had short brown hair, a well-defined bone structure and beautiful, blue eyes… not as beautiful as Spike’s ocean blue ones though. He wore a white button down shirt and blue suit pants, his jacket swung above his shoulder; she assumed he was here after finishing work.

“Uhhh… sure… that would be great…” Buffy looked at the strange man with interest, waiting for him to introduce himself. He seemed to catch the message pretty quickly.

“I’m Doyle, Francis Doyle… and you are?” he extended his hand with a friendly smile, and she took it with a smile of her own.

“I’m Buffy Summers. Nice to meet you, Mr. Doyle”

He smiled at her, insisting she call him Doyle, as that’s what all his friends called him. He ordered her drink and sat down next to her.

“So, what brings you here tonight?”

“Oh, well, It’s practically a weekend now, so I wanted to have some fun here. What about you, Doyle? You don’t seem like the type of guy that spends his time going to bars and such”

“Well, the truth is, I don’t. I just got out from work, I’m a lawyer at a law firm here. I was transferred from LA… Do you know Wolfram and Hart?”

She knew Wolfram and Hart alright. Hank Summers had worked there when she was little, before he had broken up their family.

“Yeah, I know it. You work there?”

“Yeah. Well, it seems they have a small office here, and they wanted me to work here. So here I am. Lil’ ol’ SunnyD “she chuckled at his accent saying those words, and he laughed along with her. Her drink was brought to her, and he asked for a glass of whiskey for himself.

“So... what do you do for a living, Miss Buffy?”

“I work as a manager of my mother’s art gallery”

“Summers’ Art?”

“Yeah! How did you know?”

“Well, there are only two art galleries in town… and this one has your last name, so… I put the pieces together”

“Have you been there?”

“Yes, a nice redhead attended me… I was there three weeks ago, maybe…”

“Oh, that was Willow, I wasn’t there. I was fixing some things”

“What a shame. We could have met sooner”

“Yeah, well, I guess we weren’t meant to meet then”

“I guess.”

“So… It seems that you’re al little sad… is there something wrong, Buffy?”

Buffy looked at Doyle for a moment. He was practically a stranger, but she felt the urge to tell him all she had been through. He inspired trust.

“I recently lost my father”

“Oh…I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have asked…”

“Oh, no, it doesn’t bother me anymore…well, at least not that much…”

“Oh, I see. Was he ill?”

“Yes. He had brain cancer”

“Oh, that’s too bad.”

“Yeah” Buffy let her head down, and stared at the stage for a moment, where Spike was sitting, watching the band currently playing. “Do you see that guy over there?” she gestured to Spike with her head, and Doyle stared at him.

“Yeah, I’ve seen him when I have come here before, why?”

“He lives with me” Doyle’s stare was blank and he looked at her.

“He’s your boyfriend? Husband, maybe? Was I hitting on you without even knowing if you’re taken?”

Buffy stared at him and giggled. “Nope, he’s not my husband, boyfriend or anything of mine” Buffy’s look turned sad “he’s nothing of mine”

“Is he your best friend?”

“Nope. We don’t get along very well”

“Why do you live with him, then?”

“My father wanted us to live together…It was in his will, and he’s his nephew. It’s only for a month and a half, so… we both accepted” Buffy’s eyes returned to rest on Spike, who was now smiling and talking to some of the people in the audience.

Doyle watched Buffy looking at Spike. He shook his head and smiled at her. “You like him, don’t you?”

Startled, Buffy turned her eyes away from the bleached blonde and stared at Doyle. “W…what do you mean?”

“Well, you like him. I can see it in your eyes. You kind of blush when you look at him, actually. What’s his name?”

“His name’s William, but he goes by Spike.”

“Oh, yes, I remember having heard him play once. I came here and he introduced himself, it was one of his first days. You know, he seemed a nice guy.”

“Yeah, I know…” Buffy’s eyes were downcast again.

“So… do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Like him”

“Umm…”

“Come on, Buffy, I know you do. It’s obvious”

“Really? Is it that obvious?”

“Yes. You look at him as if he were a god, and let me tell you. It does hurt my ego”

Buffy smiled gently. “I’m sorry, Doyle… I can’t help it. I’m just drawn to him.”

Doyle smiled too “Don’t worry. Since the moment I saw you look at him, I knew I had no chance in hell with you. Your feelings go deep”

Buffy sighed “Yeah… I guess… I’m sorry Doyle.”

“Don’t worry, Buffy, there’s always friendship… that’s, if you want to be my friend, of course”

“Yeah! I wanna be your friend. You’re a nice… how do you guys say it…? bloke”
Doyle laughed, and Buffy giggled beside him.

“I guess this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship, Buffy”

---------------------**************-------------------

While he was speaking, he wasn’t focusing on the crowd in front of him.
He wasn’t focused on the cheers directed his way.

On the women screaming his name, and asking him to go home with them.
He wasn’t paying attention to anything else except for her.

Buffy.

Buffy, who was talking to some guy at the bar. And she seemed to be having fun.
She was laughing, and so was he.

They were having fun. He was making her laugh.

Not himself.

Another sodding wanker was getting his paws all over HIS Buffy.

Life was bloody unfair.

All because he wasn’t ready to give her what she needed. He cared for her too, but… he just wasn’t ready for it. A relationship at this point in his life would be chaotic for his heart. He supposed she was hurt because of his response to her declaration, but he was barely capable of admitting his feelings to himself. He felt guilty about wanting to let go of Drusilla, but he just wanted to be free and happy.

Yeah, life bloody sucked…

-----------------------*****************--------------------

Spike’s voice rang out in the club once again, and Buffy sighed. She wanted to get out of there.

He was driving her nuts!

“Buffy, he has been watching us for the last ten minutes. He doesn’t seem very happy…”

Doyle’s quiet statement brought an idea to Buffy’s mind, as well as a smile that generated a grin in Doyle’s face.

“I know what you’re thinking, Buffy. Maybe I can be of some use maybe help you get some kind of reaction from him?”

“Yeah, I was thinking that…How do you plan on us doing that?”

“We can leave, and it will seem as if we’re going to a more ‘private’ place”

Buffy tensed a bit “And where would we go?”

Doyle smiled at her reassuringly “We can go to a diner close by”

She visibly relaxed “I'd like that”

“Ok. Let’s go”

Doyle took Buffy’s hand in his, and they smiled at each other as they walked out of The Bronze.

-------------------------------------*****************----------------------------------

**Where the bloody hell are they going? Bloody ponce thinks he can go away with her…**

Spike was still onstage, trying to concentrate on the crowd.

He was having a damn hard time doing it.

You just couldn’t think right while worrying your head about some bloody chit that had now run away with her new poofter of a friend.

Or at least, he hoped he was just a friend…

He shook his head briefly and got his head back in the show.

“Okay, people, let’s make some noise and have an awesome time here!”

God knew he really, really wasn’t having a good time that night…

He discreetly checked his watch and sighed. Only half an hour more and he was out of there.

He seriously needed to talk to Buffy when he got home.

----------------------------******************------------------------

Buffy and Doyle sat in a booth right at the back of a small diner, chatting amicably about themselves while eating some snacks. A chocolate milkshake for Buffy, and some iced tea for Doyle.

Doyle was a really nice guy. He was friendly, sweet, smart, funny…

But he just wasn’t Spike.

He wasn’t who she needed.

“So I grew up in London after we moved from Dublin. My mam wanted me to study law, so I did. My da was a lawyer too, so it was their dream right from when I was a little boy. After I graduated, I moved to Los Angeles a couple of years ago after I was offered a job in Wolfram and Hart”

“That’s really cool, Doyle, you must have been a very bright student if they asked you to work for them! Your life sounds pretty awesome”

“Well, mildly interesting, I’d call it. My life is not very exciting… and thanks for the compliment” He blushed as he thanked her, and she smiled.

“I wish I had a life like yours. You still have both your parents, and they’re still happily married.” Buffy’s expression turned sad for a moment, and Doyle looked sympathetically at her. He took her hand in his, and caressed her knuckles.

“Destiny must have wanted your parents to divorce, so your mother could marry again… to that great guy you told me about… Giles, is it?”

“Yeah, well, maybe that’s true… after the divorce, things got better… but why did they have to die and leave me alone?”

Buffy looked desperate for answers. Her eyes showed it. Doyle grasped her hand more firmly and looked at her.

“Maybe if they hadn’t died, you would have never met Spike…”

A mild sense of panic rushed through Buffy when she thought of her life without meeting Spike. Suddenly he seemed completely necessary for her to be happy, even with all the suffering he was now causing her. He was now the only constant in her life. The only person she knew was going to be there everyday. Her mom wasn’t there, Giles wasn’t there… but now she had Spike to keep her company.

At least until the contract was over.

After that, they would part, and she would be alone again.

Buffy’s eyes were filled with sadness after Doyle’s last statement, and the thoughts that it created.

“Don’t worry, you have me now, Buffy. We are friends, okay?” said Doyle, as if reading her thoughts and after seeing her panic. Buffy smiled at him, and gripped his hand. They looked at each other, and Doyle returned Buffy’s smile.
And that was how Spike found them after entering the small diner, before promptly turning around and walking out.

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Hi again! Hope you liked it =D Chapter 12 will be up very soon, I promise! hehe, also, I'll be posting a new lil' ficlet I wrote for the spuffy fantasy community challenge. I hope you read it when it's posted and that it's of your liking =D Let me know what you think! Love y'all!





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