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Author's Chapter Notes:
here's a little bit of spikes past...there's also more in the next chapter as well hope you like it...things start to heat up a bit between them as well ...ooooh!
Chapter 5: Telling It Like It Was

1774-London, England

William walked down the street, ripping up the poems that were just recently ridiculed by a room full of people. The sound of their laughing and taunting still rang in his ears as the angry tears streamed down his cheeks.

William found himself bumping into a hard body that was walking in the opposite direction. “Watch where you’re going!” he shouted angrily. He continued to walk in that direction without looking back…and without knowing his whole life was about to change.

* * * * *

The pack of three strolled down the cobblestone streets as if it was their own. Darla clung to Angelus’ arm, as Drusilla stood lonely beside them. Dru had just finished feeding on a young man in an ally, and the blood was still running hot through her veins.

“I’m full and warm-yet all alone.” She stated wiping what blood was spilt on her chin.

“That's not true, precious. You've got us.” Angelus claimed, with a big smile, trying to cheer up his childer.

“Not in the least. You won’t even hurt me just a little bit.” Drusilla whispered out, the look on her face showing she wasn’t pleased.

“All you had to do was ask.” Darla commented with a sly smile linking her arm with Angelus’ and placing one pale, delicate hand over his big chest. She looked over at Dru.

“No. His head’s too full of you, grandmother.” Drusilla replied with a stone look on her face, and walked ahead of the other vampires.

“Stop calling me that.” Darla scolded, slapping Angelus’ chest half-heartedly when he let out a chuckle.

Angelus swung his other arm around Drusilla’s shoulders. “Well, if you’re lonely, Dru, why don’t you make yourself a playmate?”

Drusilla’s eyes lit up, and a smile grew on her face. She stopped walking as Darla and Angelus continued. “I could. I could pick the wisest and bravest knight in all the land - and make him mine forever with a kiss.” Drusilla mocked said kiss in the air.

A young man with tears in his eyes, bumped into Angelus. “Watch where you’re going!” He practically growled. Angelus paid no mind, but Drusilla looked back at him as he walked past her, smiling and walking slowly after him.

“Or you could just take the first drooling idiot that comes along.” Darla laughed out snidely.

* * * * *

“So she sired you then.” Buffy concluded with a nod.

“Yes.” Spike affirmed. “She was my savior…the love of my unlife.” He added with a bitter snort. “I would have done anything for that bint, and what’d I get for it? Nothing that’s what. Just the sheer pain of having to watch her go to Angelus’ bed at night once she was through with me.” Spike told her, through a clenched jaw.

“Well then why did you stay with her for as long as you did, if all she ever did was hurt you?” The two of them were now sitting in Buffy’s basement, cross-legged: her on the washer and him on the dryer, facing one another. Spike took the sewers while Buffy took the streets, not wanting her mom to ask too many questions about why she was bringing a guy home and taking him down to the basement.

“Because she was my sire.” Spike responded matter-of-factly, as if it was the easiest explanation. At Buffy’s confused look he continued. “Being my sire, she has this connection to me. If she needs me I have to go to her. I feel her pain, and her tears as if they were my own.” All this talking about Dru was making him want to go to her right now…but she wasn’t a part of him anymore. He made a promise to himself after he got his soul that he wouldn’t go back to that. No matter how badly he wanted to.

Buffy nearly shivered. To have that kind of a connection with someone and have no love for them… especially a Spike-someone? That chick’s gotta be crazy. Buffy thought to herself. “So you stayed with her, and loved her, even though she didn’t love you back?” Buffy was confused again.

“Well I felt like I had an obligation to her, yeah. She may not have loved me but she definitely cared for me. And I had to take care of her.” Spike whispered, looking down at his hands. For that moment in time he looked like a vulnerable little boy.

“Because of the connection?”

“Yeah, and-well Dru has always had a few screws loose. Well actually, missing is more like it.” Spike looked back up at Buffy. “It was Angelus’ fault. When he turned her he made her crazy. She already had the gift of sight, and then he went and made it worse by killin’ her family right in front of her. She knew what he was going to do to her before he did. When he was finished he turned her. Called her his bloody masterpiece.” Spike ran his fingers through his hair, and sighed. “The four of us, created a lot of trouble together. In all of Europe, China…then we went to New York in the 50’s. Dru was really into that whole Jazz scene. Everything was as it usually was; you know, maiming, violence, torture. Then in `73, horrible decade by the way, I got cursed with my soul. It was after I killed my second slayer. This witch wanted me to feel the pain that I’ve been causing to others.”

* * * * *

Spike staggered through the doors of the warehouse the four vampires were staying at. The look on his face could only be described as disoriented. He was looking at the world through new eyes now. Eyes of one with a soul. All of the things he had done…all the people and children he’d killed were coming back to haunt him. They all flashed before his eyes. He never knew there was so many of them.

“Hello my pet. I was wondering when you’d come back to me. Mummy was worried.” Drusilla greeted her childe, ghosting her fingertips over his pale cheek. He looked like hell. His eyes were bloodshot, and his skin was ashen. His whole body practically shook, and his breathing, although unnecessary, came in short rapid pants. “My dear boy. What happened to my Spike?” Dru whimpered out, looking at Spike with lost eyes as she backed away from him.

“It’s still me, luv. I’m still Spike.” Spike stepped towards her, desperate for her not to leave him.

“No. The pixies told me the truth. The said my Spike would leave, and that you’d come back broken. They gave you a soul.” The raven-haired vampire pouted and spoke softly as if speaking to herself.

“Yes…but I haven’t changed, luv. Please, don’t walk away, just give me a chance to prove myself to you.” Spike took two long strides towards Dru and wrapped his arms around her, effectively keeping her from leaving him.

“Alright my little Spike…mummy and grand mummy will take good care of you. We’ll turn you into the soulless killer you were.”

Spike smiled down at Dru, and she smiled back. He smashed his lips to hers in a passion-filled kiss.

* * * * *

“You went back to her. You got a soul, you realized all the bad you did when you were with her…but you still went back.” Buffy was starting to understand the whole sire thing now. No matter how horrible things got when he was with Dru, he’d always go back to her because of his connection, his need to be with her.

Spike nodded solemnly. “Yeah. Anyway, I continued on with them for a while…but I only killed those who deserved it; rapists, murderers…muggers. But that was it. One night Dru brought me a little girl. Said she’d taste sweet because she was so innocent. But I couldn’t do it. I took the little girl and I brought her home. I knew I couldn’t go back after that. So from there I took the car, and drove to wherever the new slayer was. I started helping out them out, fighting the things I used to be. I was on a search for redemption. The last slayer died about a month before I found you…I couldn’t save any of them, they all died on my watch and I promised myself that I wasn’t going to let that happen to you.”

Buffy smiled at him, and felt touched by his declaration. But she had to remind herself that he was like this with all the slayers. It didn’t mean that he liked her more, just that he didn’t want her to die. “You’re a great girl, Buffy. A lot of slayers don’t get a chance to grow, and really experience life outside of the vampires and demons and battles. But I want you to, you deserve it.” Spike tucked her hair behind her ear, and smiled.

Buffy blushed and smiled back. “Thanks.”

Spike’s hand lingered by her face, the back of his hand, caressing her cheek. His eyes traveled to her lips, as he slowly started to lean forward. Buffy’s tongue came out to wet her lips, and leaned forward as well.

“Buffy…can you please come up here for a second?” Joyce yelled down effectively breaking the mood.

Spike pulled away quickly, and scolded himself for letting him self get too close. Don’t let yourself fall for her, mate. You know that you wouldn’t be able to handle it if you did and she became too distracted with you that it effected her slaying. That’s your reason to keep a distance…to save her.Spike argued to himself. Spike jumped off the dryer, and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Well I should be going anyway. I need to go stop by the butcher’s before they close. I’ll see you later, Summers.” Spike walked to the back of the basement, and opened the little hatch that led to the sewers and jumped down.

“Buffy-!”

“I’m coming mom!” Buffy yelled back. She took a deep breath to collect herself, and then walked up the steps.

* * * * *

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