Chapter 25

“Oh, bloody hell, that’s priceless!”

“Um, was that supposed to happen?” Dawn turned confused eyes towards the sasquatch.

“Oh, dear, I…ah…I don’t think…” Giles was at an absolute loss to explain.

“Well, he’s not dust, so…I thought it was meant to return him to his original form?” Buffy wasn’t freaked. Really, she wasn’t.

“That is his original form. I thought you understood this?” Now it was Wolfie’s turn to be surprised.

“Why are there two of him?” Joyce asked curiously.

“And why is one naked?” Dawn gulped, but managed to keep her eyes avidly fixed on the exposed vampire for the fraction of a second before her mother’s hand obscured her view.

Wolfie looked around the group; their faces were displaying all manner of confusion and shock. Well, except for the blond vampire sitting on the ground, he appeared to be greatly amused at the outcome of the ritual. “Perhaps it would be a good idea to move our explanations to a safer location,” the conduit for the Powers suggested.

“And how in the bloody hell do you expect me to get into the car?” The Spike that had performed the ritual gave the giant redhead a look of impatience which caused the other Spike to collapse again in gales of laughter.

“The principle should be the same, just morph into your human guise,” Wolfie told the blond as he moved in the direction of the cars.

“Um…and laughing boy?” Spike called after the giant, when he’d successfully returned to his human form.

“He stays with us.” Buffy’s tone brooked no argument as she moved closer to the two look-alikes. Throwing the exposed vampire the white robe that her Spike had been wearing earlier, she tersely instructed the blond to put it on. When she reached her Spike’s side, she boldly reached up and gently brushed his lips with hers. “Thanks for not being dust.”

The newly returned Spike scrambled quickly to his feet. “Oy, where’s mine, beautiful?” he demanded, only to land unceremoniously back on his derriere by a swift left hook from his older and wiser self.

“I don’t think so, mate.” The more experienced vampire snorted at his younger self derisively.

It hadn’t taken them much longer to make the return journey than it had the original sojourn into the woods, but tempers were seriously frayed by end of the return trip.

“Was I always this annoyin’, Slayer?” the older Spike questioned in irritation.

“Pretty much,” Buffy was quick to inform him.

“No bloody wonder you lot hated me,” Spike muttered in disgust as he pushed his protesting younger self to sit on one of Giles’ dining room chairs and stood sentinel just behind him.

“Oh yeah, and the attempts to kill all of us had nothing to do with it,” Buffy replied sarcastically.

Spike turned up his nose in contempt. “Sing us a new one, Slayer. That one’s getting old.”

Younger Spike totally ignored the bickering couple, more interested in finding out what had happened to him than listening to When Harry Met Sally: The Early Years. Spying the liquor cabinet, he wondered briefly what his chances were of convincing the watcher to let him have a drink. He didn’t think they were good. Looking past the very enticing bottle of scotch, the seated vampire noticed something. Something that was there that shouldn’t have been.

~*~*~

“So, have Dawnie and your mom been at Giles’ all afternoon?” Willow asked Buffy as the two girls entered the blonde’s bedroom and positioned themselves comfortably on the bed.

“Yeah, how wiggy is that,” Buffy commented in amusement. “They’re spending more time with him than I am.”

Willow cautiously studied her friend. “You’re not still with the mom/Giles thinkage?”

“Nah. Mom and Dawnie are just big with the slayer knowing for the meeting tomorrow night,” the petite blond assured the redhead. “I think mom’s planning on being the official caterer for the group.”

Willow grinned at Buffy. “Xander will probably bring donuts, anyway. Just in case your mom does the unthinkable and serves healthy snacks.”

Both girls giggled with the thought of Xander’s expression if offered carrot sticks and dip at a slayer meeting.

Willow sobered first, thoughts of the meeting had led to thoughts of Angel and the whole darkness within the cage thing that Buffy had described. Glancing nervously towards the window, the redhead suddenly felt exposed. ‘Could Angel be eavesdropping?’ she wondered briefly before noticing that his ability to hear even if he was there would be greatly impaired by the fact that the opening she was concerned about was actually closed. “Um…so, the window? What’s with the closure of the Buffy backdoor?”

“Oh, mom closed it this morning, so when they were working out there they wouldn’t disturb me. She said since I’d be using the front door from now on, she thought it was a good time to get the tree treated for pests,” Buffy explained to Willow.

~*~*~

Angel slipped out of his apartment at the first sign of darkness. Maybe if he hurried he could watch Buffy as she patrolled. The sight of his beautiful soulmate thanking him when he saved her was one that he relished. Being a champion chosen by the Powers gave him an indescribable feeling of invincibility.

Angel made his way to Buffy’s home. She may not have started her first patrol yet. She tended to be a little lax on the weekends, but he always managed to remind her of her duty. She looked up to him for his experience, his knowledge, and his righteous moral guidance.

It did not surprise the vampire that Buffy had clearly not left for patrol when he got there. He could see her moving past her window and she didn’t look like she was even close to being ready to perform her duty. As he moved closer to her tree, he noticed the distinct smell of garlic; obviously some idiot had decided to grow their own.

Standing at the side of the tree, Angel jumped, landing in a sitting position on the branch.

Buffy and Willow jumped in unison at the inhuman howl that seemed to be coming from just outside the window. The cautious Slayer moved in front of the terrified redhead and slowly made her way to the window. Pulling back the curtains, she was assaulted by a sight that would have been petrifying if it hadn’t been so darn funny. She gawked at the vision before her like one might view a traffic accident. It was horrifying to look at, but she was too fascinated by the comedic Jackie Chan-esque scene to look away.

~*~*~

Before young Spike could speak, Buffy made a series of delightfully obscure noises. It was unclear if she experiencing a vision that was making her laugh or cringe. Spike came to the conclusion that she was one very strange bint. Good thing he had a soft spot for nutters.

It took Buffy a few minutes to process what she’d seen and regain her composure. "Alright, who booby trapped the tree?" she said, tapping her foot impatiently as she glared around the room.

To say she wasn’t at all surprised when Dawn hesitantly raised her hand would have been correct, but when her mother also raised her hand, Buffy was astounded.

Shaking her head as if to clear her thoughts Buffy started her interrogation. “Okay, who’s responsible for the glue that made his pants stick to the tree?”

“Did it work?” Dawn countered, giggling.

“That depends, Dawnie. Did you want him to have to remove them to get away?” Buffy responded calmly.

“Ewww!” Dawn scrunched up her nose in disgust.

“Well then, what caused the shredding of his boxers and the unusual amount of pain for a vampire?” Buffy was finding it very difficult to ask her questions seriously while the slap-stick routine was playing in her head.

“Oh, um, well I might have mixed up some garlic juice with some Bengay and painted it on some tacks that I sorta glued to the tree,” the young brunette mumbled.

“I see, and what exactly was it that burned his boy bits when he climbed out of the tree?” Buffy glared hard at her sister.

“Probably the holy water that I watered the tree with,” Joyce answered, chagrined

It started with a tiny snicker, then a ladylike snort, and just like that laughter erupted from her body like an overdue volcanic explosion, starting with a small amount of seismic activity which grew until it couldn't be contained any longer and enveloped everything in its path.





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