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Author's Chapter Notes:
Some dialogue has been taken from Season 7 episode 'Touched'
Chapter 28

Buffy turned confused eyes on the questioning vampire, before bursting forth with her barrage of questions, “You have a reflection? Why do you have a reflection?” Turning to her watcher, Buffy modified her words, “Giles? Why does he have a reflection?”

Giles loved it that Buffy looked to him for guidance and explanation, but her need to have immediate answers could get a little wearisome. Patiently, he made a suggestion. “Why don’t we ask Wolfie tomorrow night, Buffy? If he doesn’t know we can start researching it immediately.”

Buffy’s pout caused both vampires to shift uncomfortably and attempt to surreptitiously adjust their jeans. William narrowed his eyes at the younger vampire, barely managing to subdue a warning growl.

Spike rolled his eyes at the posturing older male. It wasn’t like he could control his reaction, now could he? Pillock! If he wanted to complain he should complain to the bint about that lip…bloody lethal that was.

“Okay Giles,” Buffy agreed tiredly. Turning her attention to Spike, Buffy considered him suspiciously. Speaking to the other two males, she kept her gaze firmly on the subject of her question. “So, what are we gonna do with junior?”

“He can have the couch, pet. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight anyway.” With everything that had been happening, William hadn’t had any time to really focus on the changes he’d gone through or what they would mean to his existence. A little late night introspection would be keeping him company this night.

Buffy nodded in acceptance of William’s suggestion. She looked towards the spare room, knowing that she needed to get some sleep, but reluctant to leave the side of her vampire. She didn’t understand why she was feeling so needy, but she wasn’t ready to question it either. She felt like she was breaking into tiny pieces. There was so much that she’d had to deal with in such a short time. She desperately tried to suppress the knowledge that she was relieved that the friends that she had given so much power to were not here. They would have tried to get her away from her vampire. That would have broken her. As it was she knew that she would get through this, but she also knew that that was due largely to the unwavering support of a watcher that had yet to betray her and a vampire that knew how to love. She had yet to thank either of them.

“Giles,” Buffy said as she looked over at the man her watcher had been. “Can I speak to you in my room, please?” As she walked past the two vampires she reached over to give William’s hand a quick squeeze.

Giles followed silently in her wake.

William and Spike were unable to hear the quietly whispered conversation between Giles and Buffy, regardless of how much they tried. “She’s not talkin’ about you, mate,” William quietly assured his paranoid companion.

Spike turned his attention to the object of his earlier derision. He didn’t even attempt to deny his concerns. “She hates me.”

“She’s not the one you have to impress.” William smirked at the younger male and watched as the light of realization flared in Spike’s eyes.

~*~*~

“Giles,” Buffy whispered, mindful of vampire hearing. “I want to do some research,” she told him. Pointing to the tomes in the large bookcase that seemed to dwarf the actual size of the room, she continued. “Which one will tell me what I need to know about claims?”

Giving the nervous young girl in front of him a considering look, Giles walked over to the bookcase and removed what he believed to be the most accurate volume in his collection. The fact that the book was also the most graphic was another point in its favour. He did not believe that she was ready for this sort of commitment. “This will give you all the information you need,” he informed her as he handed her the weighty tract. “But, Buffy, please think carefully before taking any action. You can have no doubts. You need to be very sure that you love him. He really doesn’t deserve anything less.”

Moving towards the door, thinking the girl was finished with him, Giles was surprised when Buffy’s small hand halted him.

“Right now I’m not sure of anything, but I do need to know, Giles.”

“The fact that I agree that you need this information is the only reason I am giving you that book,” his response was delivered in a firm and serious tone.

“I need to talk to him, Giles. I have to tell him what I’m feeling.” Buffy was almost desperate in her ache for the vampire. In the maelstrom that was her emotions, William was her safe harbour. She needed him to anchor her.

“I’ll send him in to you.” The watcher smiled at her as he reached for the door. “I’ll keep Spike company.”

~*~*~

“Luv?” William hovered in the doorway, unsure of his place.

Buffy motioned for him to come in and sit next to her on the bed.

Taking a critical look at the slightly shaking girl on the bed, William came to a decision. He entered the room, closing the door behind him. Slipping off the moccasins he still wore from the earlier ritual, William positioned himself so that his back rested firmly against the wall behind the head of the bed and opened his arms to her.

Buffy was quick to take up his offer and moved smoothly to slip into his tender embrace. Taking a few moments to calm within the safety of his arms, Buffy used the time to get her thoughts in order. “Everything’s changing, William, and I don’t know what to think or feel anymore. I need to tell you about some of it. I thought that, um, maybe, you could kinda help me work some stuff out?” She was afraid to look at him. She was afraid that she would see his disappointment at her lack of strength in his eyes. She was scared that he would look at her differently now that he had the blessing of the Goddess. She was terrified that he would now find her unworthy of him.

As was usual, William seemed to intuitively understand what she was going through. Placing a finger under her chin, he gently but firmly encouraged her to lift her face to look at him. “I’ve make a lot of mistakes, a lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred plus years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of: you. I asked for a crumb, pet, and you’ve bloody well given me so much more. When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy. I would do anything for you.”

“See, that's just it, no one ever has just loved me unconditionally like that. Even mom and dad couldn't handle Buffy the Slayer. Of course they didn't know I was the Slayer at the time. Look, now I'm rambling. What I mean is how do you do that? Love with no strings...no clauses...I've only ever had love that came with curses and baggage.” Buffy pouted.

William widened his eyes in surprise. “Buffy, luv, I love like you do. That’s how you love someone. Complete, without reservations, the bad with the good. Why do you think you’ve been able to forgive every person you’ve ever loved every single time they’ve hurt you? The problem isn’t your ability to love, pet. It’s that you have a tendency to trust the wrong people and you’ve got bloody appalling taste in men.” His grin lightened the harshness of his words.

“I guess that’s true, ‘cause the man I’m interested in loves me but doesn’t want me,” Buffy replied with mock sadness.

William’s mind reeled, as he took in her words. She was interested in someone? Who? Who loved her but didn’t want her? He could only think of one person that her words could possibly describe and that thought horrified him. “You fancy the watcher?” he squeaked out his question.

“What? NO! Ewww,” Buffy scrunched up her nose in disgust.

William felt relief course through him, but it was quickly replaced by confusion. “Well, then, who the bloody hell…?”

“That would be you, stupid,” Buffy told him flatly. The images that his words had brought to her mind caused her to speak before she had time to be scared of her honesty, or had time to register her own admission. “Ew, now I’ve got Giles pictures,” she said, revolted.

“Wait a minute…you think I don’t want you? Have you gone barmy on me?” William just stared at her in disbelief.

“It’s what you said,” Buffy replied guilelessly.

Despite the rather wonderful turn the conversation had made, William wanted this little communication breakdown to be addressed immediately. He wanted this girl to be under no illusions about just how much he wanted her. “Buffy, pet, what are you talking about?”

“Before. You said you loved me and that it wasn’t about wanting me,” she replied with such innocence that William was momentarily floored.

Smiling down at the beautiful girl in his arms, William brought a hand up to gently caress her cheek as he explained, “What I should have said was that as much as I want you, loving you is about more than that, sweetness.”

“So you do want me?” Buffy confirmed.

“More with every passing minute,” William reassured her, his eyes darkening with desire.

Grinning impishly, her confidence restored, Buffy giggled as she told him, “You are so not getting lucky in my watcher’s home.”

William’s eyes sparkled with humour as he lifted the laughing girl onto his lap and her lips within striking distance. “Just need to make sure there are no lingering doubts, kitten,” he warned her with a smile before slowing bringing their lips together.

Buffy was left with absolutely no doubts.

“What about the poof’s flat? We could always send Spike to keep him busy.”





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