The next day, though, if anyone had told her a couple of days ago she would’ve laughed bitterly, Buffy felt better than she had in a long time. After Spike had left to go to work, she had immediately gone to sleep and slept for the rest of the night. And now, the morning after, she still had a slight headache, but not nearly as bad as it had been last night. Also, she had a feeling that even the worst hangover wouldn’t be able to take away her good mood that morning. She had woken up with a smile on her face, and hadn’t been able to stop smiling since.
They had talked a little last night, sure, it hadn’t been one of their deepest conversations, but still, they had talked. And today, in a couple of hours, she was meeting Spike at the Espresso Pump for lunch. ‘It’s not a date, it’s not a date,’ she kept telling herself. Of course it wasn’t a date. Back when they were friends, they used to go out for lunch all the time. A part of her wanted it to be a date, she couldn’t deny that, but she would settle for just having their friendship back.
Of course, just because she and Spike were talking again, it didn’t mean that everything was okay and forgotten. She couldn’t fool herself, she knew that there were still issues to be dealt with, from both sides. But they had agreed to just take things slow, one step at the time and see what would happen. And she was okay with that. Hell, she was more than okay with that, it was more than she had ever hoped for.
Buffy groaned with embarrassment when she recalled last night. What had she been thinking, getting drunk like that? And then she’d tossed her cookies in front of Spike, practically turning herself inside out. She should consider herself lucky he hadn’t just turned around and ran. Instead he’d taken care of her, and then stayed with her until she came to again. A part of her still found it hard to believe that he’d done that. But then of course, he’d always taken care of her. Before, that was.
When her mother had passed away, back when they were in high school, Buffy had just lost it. Unable to handle her grief, she’d started hanging out with a different crowd, mostly a girl named Faith Lehane. Even though none of them had been nearly old enough, they hadn’t had any problems getting in to the local night club; The Bronze, where they had been drinking and dancing all night.
Faith didn’t need a reason, she just got off on breaking the rules, but Buffy just wanted to escape. And that night, for a couple of hours, that was, she’d succeeded. It had been past midnight when she had decided to leave, but Faith had refused to come with her, the dark haired girl had wanted to stay. Not wanting to get into an argument, Buffy had left the night club on her own. The next day, Faith hadn’t showed up in school. In fact, Buffy never saw her again. She found out later that Faith had been raped in an alley, by three older men, that night. After that, her family had left town.
Buffy and Spike hadn’t been friends back then. They’d known each other by name, but when they’d met in the corridors, or in the classrooms, in school, their conversations had mostly consisted of them trading insults. For some reason, they could hardly stand each other back then. Until that one day, which she’d always remember.
Angry at the world, not able to understand why everyone had to leave her, Buffy had ditched class and was sitting alone under a tree outside the school building. Wanting to be alone in her misery, she’d snapped at Spike when he had showed up, and he had yelled right back at her. After a couple of minutes of arguing, for no reason at all, except the fact that they were both at the same place at the same time, Buffy had, to her great horror, simply lost it and burst into tears.
Spike had been taken aback by her sudden breakdown, but he hadn’t laughed, or made fun of her, like she’d expected. Instead he’d mumbled an apology, even though it was Buffy that had started the argument. Then he’d sat down, next to her, awkwardly patting her shoulder. When she’d calmed down a bit, Buffy had found herself telling him everything that had happened, including the death of her mother.
He had listened to her without interrupting, and when she was done, he’d told her that his mother had passed away too, a couple of years earlier. Suddenly feeling like there was a connection between them, the dam had broken and they had ended up talking for hours. They both got to see the other one for who they really were, behind the masks they’d put on in front of the rest of the world. That had been the beginning of their friendship, and after that day, Buffy and Spike had been almost inseparable.
That was, until two years ago. But now it seemed like things would start to get better again. Buffy knew better than to think that everything would be just like before, just like that. But maybe, some day, it would. Whatever would happen today, it was a start, and they would have a foundation to start rebuilding their friendship on, a shaky one at that, but a place to start all the same. Buffy smiled to herself, as she absently ran a brush through her long hair. She would go see Spike soon, and they would hang out, just like before.
Even if he’d never feel the same way about her, because she still loved him and probably always would, they would finally be a part of each others lives again. She looked at her watch, and realized that it was time to go. Finally, Buffy thought, it looked like the nightmare, that had been the last two years, was about to end. With a happy little sigh, she grabbed her car keys from the table, and headed for the door.
TBC